I am educating the computer.

So, I read it poems, information on whaling,

a centre-spread from the newspaper

about getting your feet massaged by fish.

I teach it finance, and international conflict,

endow it with the rules of football.

It says, ‘I do not understand. Could you repeat?’

I indoctrinate it thoroughly

in punctuation, in possessives and plurals,

the troubled history of the Belfast mural.

I teach it fashion, and haute cuisine.

But oh, its radical innocence!

When it says, ‘And that is twenty pines, please’,

or ‘The pound trees are wrecking the ecosystem’,

I swear, Your Honour, it isn’t coming from me.