Mom, do you think James will take me to the father-daughter dance in a couple of weeks?” Alicia asked, leaning against the island. At first she’d decided not to go, but after Danielle practically begged her to change her mind, she did. And she had another motive, too.
“I’m sure he would be honored, but are you sure you don’t want to ask your father?” Tanya said, tossing a bowl of lettuce. They were just preparing to sit down for dinner as soon as James came back downstairs.
“No, because, like always, he’s probably too busy.”
Alicia didn’t want her father to escort her anyway, and she was going to make sure to brag to him about her night out with James just so it would piss him off. She wanted him to know, for a change, what it felt like to be disappointed.
“You won’t know unless you ask him,” Tanya said.
“But, Mom, I don’t want Daddy to take me. And if that’s who has to do it, I won’t go at all. James is the one who spends time with me and who takes my friends and me anywhere we want to go. He even takes us with him to see the Bears and the Bulls when they play at home.”
“I understand that, Alicia, and I’m glad you appreciate James as much as you do, but I still don’t want you to overlook your father. I know he’s made some mistakes, but this might be a good opportunity for you to spend some time with him alone. Especially since that’s what you’ve been saying you want.”
“I did, but now I’m through with him. I don’t care if I ever see him again, and even when I get married one day, I’m having James walk me down the aisle,” Alicia said, and felt like bawling. She hated her father for neglecting her the way he was, and she was going to make him pay for it. She didn’t want to use James to punish her father, because she did genuinely love James, but she just didn’t know what else to do to get her father’s attention.
“I think you should talk to James about it to see what he thinks.”
Alicia took the salad bowl and sat it on the table near the patio doors. Then she brought over a pan filled with warm garlic bread. Her mother had fixed her famous lasagna and Alicia couldn’t wait to eat some of it.
“By the way, I called your counselor today, and he said you haven’t missed one class this week, and that you’ve turned in all of your history assignments,” Tanya said. “So that’s why, even though you’re still grounded, I’m okay with you going to the dance.”
Alicia didn’t know what to say. She was a little perturbed that her mother saw a need to keep checking up on her, but she wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. Maybe last week she would have, but not after chatting with Julian on-line a couple of days ago. He’d told her that life would be a lot easier if she simply went to class and did her homework. That way, her parents wouldn’t have anything to complain about, and they wouldn’t have a reason to keep punishing her. She hadn’t agreed at first, but there were two things he’d said that had made her rethink her position. He’d told her that even though she was angry, she needed to remember everything her mother had gone through with her father and be thankful that James was the sort of stepfather that treated her like his own. He told her that, to him, it seemed like her mother and James were always there for her and that she should work very hard at trying to appreciate that.
She still didn’t like the fact that her mother was trying to control her life, but she had to agree with what Julian said. Her mother had been a good wife to her father, and she’d always gone out of her way to be a good mother. When she was married to her father and even now that she was married to James. So Alicia decided she was going to do the right thing when it came to school, but she wasn’t going to let her father off so easily.
“Boy, that smells even better than before I went upstairs,” James said, playfully yanking Alicia’s ponytail as he walked by her.
“Stop it,” Alicia said, laughing.
Tanya smiled at both of them and sat down at the table. Alicia and James did the same.
“Do you want to say grace, Alicia?” Tanya asked.
They all held hands and closed their eyes. “Dear Lord, thank You for my mom, thank You for James, and thank You for the food we’re about to receive. Amen.”
Tanya and James spoke in unison. “Amen.”
“This is still sort of hot,” Tanya said, scooping out a square of lasagna and placing it on James’s plate. Then she put a piece on Alicia’s and then hers.
“So how was school today?” James said, picking up the tongs inside the salad bowl.
“Didn’t Mom tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“That I haven’t missed any more classes, and I’ve turned in all of my history homework.”
“No, she didn’t, but I’m really glad to hear that, because I was starting to worry about you.”
“I think we were all worried,” Tanya said.
Alicia knew her mother was including her father when she said “all,” but Alicia knew he didn’t care one way or the other. The only thing he cared about were his precious little Mariah, that new church of his, and how much more money he could get.
“I still scheduled a counseling session for us next week, though,” Tanya said.
“Not with Daddy, too, I hope.”
“Yes, with Daddy, too.”
Alicia pursed her lips.
“It’s for you, him, and me,” Tanya continued. “And in the future, we can include James and Mariah if you want.”
Mariah? For what? She wasn’t Alicia’s mother, and she was never going to get a chance to be. So why would she possibly need to come to counseling with them? If Alicia had anything to say about it, it would never happen. Mariah was an outsider, and it was best for her to stay where she belonged: outside.
But Alicia wasn’t going to share her thoughts out loud.
“James, can you take me to the father-daughter dance in a couple of weeks?”
“Well, pumpkin, you know I’d be happy to, but I don’t want to disrespect your father either.”
“You won’t, because I’m sure he already has other plans.”
“Have you asked him?”
“No. He always has other plans.”
“But I still think you should ask him. You know? Just out of respect.”
“Why? Don’t you want to take me?”
“Yes. You know I do, but it’s just that I think you should at least acknowledge your father.”
“But I don’t want him to take me.”
“I think you do, and you’re only saying that because you want to hurt him.”
Alicia didn’t know how he knew what she was thinking, but he had her pegged to a tee.
Tanya looked on in silence.
“Look, Alicia,” James said, tearing a piece of garlic bread. “I know you haven’t been too happy with your father lately, but I think you need to give him another chance. I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but we all make mistakes from time to time.”
“Daddy makes mistakes all the time, and ever since he married Mariah, he hasn’t cared one thing about me.” Alicia swallowed hard, trying to stop tears from rolling down her face.
“That’s not true, Alicia,” Tanya said. “Your father may have a strange way of showing it, but he does love you. It’s the one thing I can say about him.”
“Then why doesn’t he act like it?” Alicia said, wiping her face, her chest elevating.
“We can’t answer that, sweetheart, but don’t ever think that he doesn’t love you,” Tanya said, holding Alicia’s hand. “Because he truly, truly does.”
“So why don’t you give him a call when we finish dinner,” James said. “If he says he can’t take you, then two Saturdays from now, it’ll be you and me out on the town. But I at least want you to ask him.”
None of this had turned out the way Alicia had wanted. She’d planned on having James escort her, and then she was planning to parade tons of photos of them in front of her father. She wanted him to know how it felt to be left out and replaced. But now James and her mother had made her realize that she did want her father to take her. He probably already had some previous church engagement, but she would call him like James suggested.
They continued eating and discussed the fact that Easter was this weekend, that there were only six more weeks of school, and that they were taking a family vacation to Disney World at the end of June. Alicia was even more excited when they told her Danielle could go with them to Orlando.
After Alicia finished loading the dishes in the dishwasher, she went up to her room to call her father.
“Hello,” Mariah answered.
Alicia rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.
“Hi, Mariah. Is my daddy there?”
“No, honey, he’s not. He got together with some other ministers for a meeting, but you can call him on his cell phone if you need him right away.”
“Okay, then, thanks.”
“Alicia?” Mariah said.
“Yes.”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
About what? was all Alicia could think to say.
“What did you wanna talk about?”
“Well, basically I just wanted to tell you that I’m here for you if you ever need me, and that I’m hoping you can start spending more time over here with your father and me.”
What Alicia wanted was to spend more time with her father. Not with Mariah.
“Okay,” Alicia said just to hurry her off the phone.
“And while I know I haven’t been your stepmother for very long, I’m really hoping that we can start building a relationship with each other. Maybe we could go shopping together. Summer will be here pretty soon, so maybe we could get you a whole new summer wardrobe.”
“Actually, my mom is taking me shopping for summer stuff next week.”
“Well, I know it’s a little late, but have you already gotten an Easter outfit?”
Duh. Easter was only three days from now, so what did she think?
“My mom bought my Easter dress sometime last month, but thanks for asking.”
“Well, maybe we can do something else. I remember you saying that you weren’t coming to stay with us this weekend since it’s Easter, so can we expect you next weekend?”
“Actually, I have a father-daughter dance to go to, and I want my mom to help me get ready for it,” Alicia bragged, but felt like kicking herself because she hadn’t wanted Mariah to know about the dance until after she’d told her father.
“Oh, is that why you’re calling your father? He’ll be so excited. I never got to do things like that with my father when I was growing up, because he never came around.”
Then, that means you know exactly how I feel, don’t you? Alicia thought.
“Well, it was good talking to you, Mariah, but I’d better go so I can call my daddy.”
“It was good talking to you, Alicia, and remember what I said, you can call me anytime.”
“Okay, bye.”
Alicia pressed the flash button and dialed her father’s cell number.
“Hi, baby girl,” he answered.
“How’d you know it was me?”
“Caller ID of course.”
“Oh.”
“So how are you?”
“I’m fine, but who’s making all that noise in the background?”
“Those are just some other ministers having a few laughs. But hold on a minute while I go into another room.”
They sounded like wild animals instead of ministers, but she wasn’t going to tell her father what she was thinking.
“Okay, so to what do I owe this precious phone call?” he said.
“My school is having a ninth-grade father-daughter dance on the twenty-sixth, and I wanted to see if you could take me.”
“Of course I can, baby girl. You know I wouldn’t have it any other way. What time is it?”
“Six o’clock, and you have to wear a tux.”
“Well, you know I already have one of those, so I’m all set. But what about you? Do you already have a dress for it?”
“No, but I’m sure Mom will take me out this weekend to get one.”
“Well, if she can’t, you know Mariah would be happy to take you, too.”
“No, that’s okay, I’ll just have Mom do it.”
“Well, I’m glad you called me, baby girl, because I haven’t heard from you since you spent the weekend with us. I’m sorry for yelling at you, but the last thing I want to see is you failing one of your classes. You’re too smart for that, and I won’t be content until you’ve graduated from high school and gone on to college. I’ve been saving for your college education since the day you were born, and even though I had a setback when I left Faith, I never took any money from that account. So you getting the right education is very, very important to me.”
Alicia was a little shocked at what she was hearing. She’d heard him mention a college fund when she was younger, but she hadn’t heard him talk much about it in the last few years. At least he cared about something that had to do with her, and while she still wasn’t happy with him, she was elated to know that he was saving money for her education. Most of her friends couldn’t care less about their parents saving for college, but Alicia knew just how expensive it actually was.
“I know it is, Daddy, and that’s why I’ve turned in all of my history assignments.” She wasn’t sure if he knew about her skipping an entire week of math classes or not, so there was no sense in bringing it up.
“I’m glad to hear it. So tell me, how’s your mom doing?”
“She’s fine.”
“Tell her I said hello, and that if she needs money to get your dress, she can call me.”
“I will.”
“And, Alicia?”
“Yes.”
“You do know that I love you, right?”
“Yes.”
“I know I haven’t always done the right things, but next to God, you really are the most important person in my life.”
“Then why don’t we spend time together the way we used to before you married Mariah?” she asked, though she hadn’t meant to.
“Is that what you think? That Mariah is the reason I haven’t been able to see you as much?”
“Yes, because we did a lot of stuff together before you met her.”
“Well, let Daddy tell you a little secret. Mariah complains almost every day because she says I’m not spending any time with her either. So, baby girl, it has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with the fact that I’m trying to get situated at my new church. I have the same responsibilities that I had when I was pastor at Faith and a whole new set of duties to go along with them.”
“Well, I still wish you’d make more time for me, because I miss seeing you,” Alicia said, and wondered if her father was telling the truth. If he was, she was glad to know that he hadn’t placed Mariah higher than her on his list of priorities.
“I miss you too, and I’m going to try to do better, starting with your dance next week.”
“Okay, well, I’d better let you go, Daddy. But don’t forget, it’s at six o’clock on Saturday. Not this Saturday, but the next one.”
“I won’t forget. I’ll have Whitney put it on my schedule, and I’ll also put it in my Palm Pilot. And, baby girl, you know you should come hear your daddy preach this Sunday for Easter.”
“I already told Mom and James that I was going with them to our church,” she said, knowing full well her mother and stepfather wouldn’t have minded one way or the other.
“Oh well, I just thought I’d ask. Maybe another time then. Also, I guess I’ll see you next week, because your mom left me a voice message a few days ago saying we have a counseling session scheduled.”
“Yeah, we do.”
“Okay, well, I’ll see you then, baby girl.”
“Okay. Good-bye, Daddy.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Alicia hung up the phone feeling happier than she had in a long time. She couldn’t wait to tell Julian how good his advice had been and how she was finally working things out with her parents. She was still sorry that she’d laughed at him that day he’d tried to have phone sex with her, but now at least he wasn’t angry anymore. He wasn’t angry because she’d called him back the very next night and two other nights thereafter and did everything he told her to do. She’d experienced sensations she didn’t even know existed, and she wished she could feel that good all the time.
But two nights ago when they’d chatted on-line, Julian had told her that phone sex was nothing, and that he could make her feel ten times better than that if she wanted him to.
He told her that all she had to do was come to his house for a visit.