Right after Mariah pulled the taupe skirt from the sale rack, she checked to see if it was a size 10 and smiled. She and her best friend, Vivian, were standing in the misses department at Saks, down on Michigan Avenue.
“Girl, the one thing I was hoping to find was another one of these skirts, and now it’s even on sale,” Mariah said.
“You can’t beat that. But then, you could afford it even if it was still regular price.”
“Girl, please. I’m always looking for bargains just like everyone else.”
“Yeah, right, but not because you have to, Miss Thing,” Vivian teased.
Mariah loved Vivian like a sister. She was down-to-earth, very caring, and told everything exactly the way she saw it. In a word, she told the truth whether a person wanted to hear it or not. And she was beautiful, too. She wore a size 8, and at five eleven she looked more like a supermodel than the web site developer that she was. Her skin was smooth, she had crystal white teeth and a smile that would warm the attitude of an enemy. Even her hairstyle, which was barely one inch in length, was becoming of her.
“You know, V, I’m really glad we decided to go shopping today, because now I know that I really needed to see you,” Mariah said, still searching through the sale items.
“I’m glad we did, too, because it’s been a long time since we’ve gotten together. Especially since you married that fine-as-wine minister of yours. But as they say, I ain’t mad atcha, because if it were me, I’d be spending all of my time with him, too.”
Mariah hadn’t told her how scarce Curtis had been the last few weeks or about his not wanting them to have a baby. She wanted to pour her heart out right then and there, but there were too many customers surrounding them. Actually, there were more people than usual shopping in all the stores, since it was the day before Easter. So it was better to wait until they went to lunch.
“Look at this.” Mariah held up a to-die-for sleeveless turquoise blouse.
“That’s absolutely beautiful. You should definitely try that on.”
“I would, but it’s a size eight and it’s got your name written all over it.”
Vivian admired it and pulled out the price tag. “I’m loving it, but this is way too rich for my blood.”
“But the question is, do you want it?”
“Girl, I’m not paying sixty dollars for this. And on top of that, it has the nerve to be on sale.”
“Give me that,” Mariah said, laying it across her arm on top of the skirt she was purchasing for herself.
“You know you don’t have to do that,” Vivian said.
“I know, but I want to. And if it’s okay with you, I don’t want to discuss it any further, thank you very much.”
“Oh, so now you’re running things, I guess?”
“You do catch on very quickly,” Mariah said, and they both laughed.
“You know I really appreciate it,” Vivian said, hugging Mariah.
“I know, and if you see anything else you want, all you have to do is say the word.”
They made their purchases, left Saks, and walked over to Water Tower Place. Once inside Lord & Taylor, Mariah found a pair of fuchsia shoes and matching purse to go with the fuchsia hat she’d ordered from a specialty catalog two months ago. All of her accessories would accent the off-white suit she was wearing to church tomorrow, so for the most part her shopping was complete. Vivian ended up finding the perfect deep teal skirt to go with the blouse Mariah had bought her, and Mariah offered to buy that, too. Now they were sitting inside FoodLife, a unique food court, if you will, filled with a variety of restaurants. Vivian was a devout vegetarian, so they’d both purchased huge salads and bottled water.
“So what do you and Curtis have planned for this evening?” Vivian asked, patting the corners of her mouth with a napkin.
“Not one single solitary thing.”
“Okay. Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“It’s the same thing I told you about when we spoke on the phone a couple of weeks ago. But now he’s gone even more than ever before. Even right now I don’t have the slightest idea where he is. He mentioned something about going to look at some new cars with one of his minister friends and then doing lunch with him. But I don’t believe it, because he just saw Tyler the other night.”
“Well, why do you think he would lie?”
“Because he has way too much lost time. He comes in around nine or ten on most nights, and the only reason he came home right after Bible study on Wednesday is because I was all upset.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I told him that I wanted us to start a family, but he was adamant about having us wait. He says it’s because he wants Alicia to get used to the idea of me being in the picture, and that he wants us to spend more time with her. But now I think he just doesn’t want to have a baby with me period.”
“Well, you’ve only been married for a few months, so maybe he just wants to have some time with just the two of you.”
“But that’s just it, we don’t see much of each other at all. He gets up bright and early every morning, works out for an hour, and then heads to the church. And then he doesn’t get home until nighttime. Sometimes he shows up early evening, but not very often. It’s always some ministers’ meeting, some meeting with the deacons, some revival at another church. It’s always something. And the one thing I haven’t told you is that I accidentally found out that he had a son with a teenager five years ago.”
“He what?”
“He has a son, and the only reason I know about it is because Alicia mentioned it when she was arguing with him. But if that hadn’t happened, I know he never would have told me.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Vivian said.
“Of course you do, you always have something to say, but you don’t want to hurt my feelings. But right now, V, I really need to hear what you think, because I’m not sure what I should do about this.”
“Well, first of all, any man who has fathered a child with a teenager and didn’t bother to tell his wife certainly can’t be trusted. I mean, you just don’t hide serious information like that. And now that you’re saying he’s never at home and doesn’t want to have a baby with you, I would have to question what he’s really doing when you’re not with him. And as much as I hate to say it, Mariah, I would have to wonder what whore he’s laying up with.”
That was the Vivian that Mariah knew all too well. But even though she’d asked her to say what she thought, hearing her words still hurt terribly.
Vivian obviously noticed. “I didn’t mean to be so blunt, but, girl, something doesn’t seem right with Curtis. Not based on what you’re telling me.”
“I know, and I feel so stupid. I feel like I’m some naïve little girl, and I don’t understand why I’ve always had to be so trusting of everyone.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having a big heart, and it only becomes a problem when someone takes advantage of you.”
“The sad part is that I love him so much. He has become my whole world, and now when I complain about what’s going on, he tells me I need to find other interests and that he can’t run a church and be with me at the same time. Even my mother said I should find other things to do and that I should stop nagging him.”
“No disrespect to your mother, girl, but if you’re telling me that the only time you see your husband is around bedtime, then you have every right to nag the shit out of him. I know you told me that he wasn’t at home as much as he used to be, but I had no idea that this had become an every-night thing.”
“Like I said, he is home early on some evenings, but it’s usually when I’ve gone on and on about how alone I feel. He only does it to pacify me, and I always allow it.”
“Have you thought about following him?”
“No.”
“Well, you should. All you have to do is wait for brother to leave the church and then follow him to his final destination. Because I’m telling you, the only way to catch any man dead in his tracks is to see it with your own eyes. It’s the only way you can confront him and prevent him from denying it at the same time.”
“I don’t know. I just hate having to go to such extremes,” Mariah said, folding her arms and feeling defeated.
“But if he’s messing around, it’s the only way you’re going to be able to prove it. I’ve never been married, but you know I have busted a couple of boyfriend-wannabe-players in my time.”
But that was just it, Mariah thought, Curtis wasn’t some boyfriend, he was her husband. He was the man who stood with her before God and his congregation and took everlasting vows. He was the man who’d said he loved her more than anything and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
“You know, all I ever wanted in life was to fall in love with the right man, be the best wife I could be, and live happily ever after,” Mariah confessed.
“And you deserve nothing less than that. So that’s why I’m saying you have to see if Curtis’s nightly excuses are legitimate or if he’s laying up in a hotel somewhere. And don’t get me wrong, I pray that he’s been telling you the truth, but if he’s not, then you have to give him an ultimatum. Either he can stop messing around or he can sign some divorce papers and pay you alimony.”
Mariah cringed at the thought of losing him and wished he would just go back to being the man he was when she met him. That way, she wouldn’t have to play detective, trying to find out if he was sleeping with another woman. Although if he was but was willing to stop doing it, she would gladly forgive him. She didn’t dare share her thoughts with Vivian, though, because she knew Vivian would think she was crazy.
“When I get home, I’m going to talk to him again,” Mariah said.
“That’s exactly what I would do, except I wouldn’t just talk to him, I’d tell him flat out that you’re not going to keep spending all of your evenings by yourself and that you want to start going with him to some of these so-called church events he can’t seem to miss. And you know what else? I would have a talk with his ex-wife. You said she seems pretty pleasant, so maybe she’ll be willing to shed some light on Curtis. I know he told you that he only messed around on her twice and that that’s the reason she divorced him and the reason he lost his church, but the one thing you can always count on is that there are definitely two sides to every story.”
“This is true.”
But Mariah wasn’t too keen on calling Tanya, because the last thing she wanted was for his ex-wife to learn that she and Curtis were having problems. No woman wanted her man’s ex-wife or ex-anything to know that there was serious trouble in paradise. Maybe she would call Tanya as a last resort, but she was hoping that there wouldn’t be any need for something so drastic.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t even take the chance of him not being at home when I got there. I would call him right now and tell him to get his behind home.”
Mariah didn’t want to do that either, but she went ahead and pulled out her cell phone just so Vivian wouldn’t think she was a wimp.
She dialed the house but he wasn’t there. She dialed his cell phone and heard it ring four times before his voice mail connected.
She didn’t bother leaving a message.
Vivian looked on curiously.
Mariah didn’t bother explaining.
Why? Because she knew Vivian was right. She knew she had to confront her husband in a way like never before.
“I still can’t believe that after all these years, here I am lying in your arms again,” Adrienne said, smiling.
“And just think, this is only the beginning,” Curtis said.
It was almost 9 P.M. and they’d been lounging around Tyler’s condo since ten that morning. They’d ordered lunch from a nearby restaurant, Italian for dinner, and they’d already made love three times.
“I really didn’t mean to stay here so late,” Adrienne said.
“Well, you know how time flies. And it flies even faster when you’re with the person you want to be with.”
“I guess I can’t argue with that, because this is clearly the best day I’ve had in a long time. I finally feel like I know what it’s like to be with you for a long period of time again. Remember when we used to spend all those hours together?”
“How could I forget? Those were some of the best times in my life. Which is why I can never, ever . . .” he said, raising Adrienne’s chin so she could look at him. “I can never be without you. My soul is so at peace when I’m around you, and no one has ever made me feel that way.”
“I’m glad you’re comfortable with me, because you know I’ve always felt that way about you, too. I know it sounds crazy, but at one point I used to think I couldn’t live without you. I loved you that much, and that’s why I was so depressed when our relationship ended like it did.”
“Shhhhh. Baby, please. I know you can’t help thinking about that, but from this day forward, let’s just try to think about today and all the good times ahead of us.”
“Okay, you’re right. I promise not to talk about the past if you promise not to ever leave me again.”
“You have my word on that.”
“I do have to tell you something, though.”
“What’s that?”
“Today was the first time Thomas questioned me about where I was going.”
“You told him you were going shopping with a friend and then to dinner, right? So why would he question that?”
“He’s questioning it because I haven’t had sex with him since you and I were first together again. And even though I keep trying to act the same toward him, my whole persona is different. I can feel myself avoiding him, and I know he’s starting to think something is wrong.”
“Well, what did he say when you left this morning?”
“He said he hoped we weren’t about to have the same problems we had five years ago.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that. He’s just a little suspicious.”
“I know, but we still have a few months to go before I tell him I want a divorce, and pretty soon he’ll be questioning me every time I leave the house or every time I come home later than usual.”
“That’s why I think you should tell him you want a legal separation until that time. That way, you won’t have to deal with him at all,” Curtis said, kissing her forehead. “You know what I’m saying, baby,” he said, hugging her tightly.
He was hoping that maybe all of the deacon’s questions would cause Adrienne to feel so uneasy that she’d finally move out and get her own place. Curtis would even help pay all her monthly expenses. Especially since he’d be staying there with her on a part-time basis. He hadn’t spent the entire night away from home with another woman, not even when he was married to Tanya, but it was just a matter of time before he did. He’d even considered doing it tonight, but he had a feeling Adrienne wasn’t going to agree to it. She’d be too worried about the deacon and what he’d have to say about it.
“Curtis, did you hear me?” she asked.
“What? Yes,” he said. It was obvious that he’d been daydreaming.
“Then what did I say?”
“You said . . . well, I don’t know exactly, but I heard you,” he said, stumbling.
Adrienne pulled away from him. “And that’s why you’re not getting any more of this either.” She drew the covers across her body, smiling.
“Is that a fact?” He pulled her back closer to him and slipped under the sheet with her.
“Yes. It is.”
“So you’re not going to give Daddy one last piece of dessert before the evening is over?”
“No, because you were ignoring me.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Tell Daddy again what you said.”
“I said that if you want me to leave Thomas right now, then you’re going to have to file for your divorce a lot earlier than you planned.”
She was breaking the mood, and Curtis hated when she got serious on him in the middle of foreplay. It was the one thing he honestly didn’t like about her. It was almost as if she did it on purpose, because she knew he couldn’t stand it.
“You know I can’t file for a divorce this soon after marrying Mariah, because of the church. So I guess you’ll have to stay with the deacon until I do.”
“I guess I will, but don’t keep asking me to leave him if you’re not planning to leave Mariah,” she said, and moved away from him again. This time she sat up on the side of the bed.
“Look, baby, I’m sorry. But let’s not fight, okay? If it bothers you that much, then I won’t bring it up again. We’ll stick to the plan, and in October we’ll both file for our divorces.”
“Fine,” she said, turning to look at him.
“You are so beautiful, you know that?”
He pulled her on top of him.
They kissed and caressed each other and made love one last time before leaving Tyler’s condo.
When they were outside, Curtis pressed Adrienne against her car and kissed her again.
“I love you so much,” she said.
“But not more than I love you.”
Curtis watched her back out of the driveway and wished there was some way he could end his marriage to Mariah and marry Adrienne. Because at this very moment, that was what he really wanted.
But he knew it was only because his heart and loins were doing his thinking for him.
In reality, he knew he had to keep Mariah, because the church would want him to and because he could control her much better than he could Adrienne. Once upon a time, Adrienne had been just as easy as Mariah, but the more he spent time with Adrienne, the more he could tell she now had a mind of her own. Yes, Adrienne loved him, but she wasn’t the same pushover she used to be.
Curtis pulled out of the driveway and thought about something less straining. He thought about the fifteen-hundred-dollar suit he’d seen in GQ. He thought about his nine-month-old Cadillac SUV and how it was time for something new. He hadn’t decided what he was going to buy, but this time it was going to be something that cost near or in the six figures. It was going to be something people noticed whenever they saw him driving it. They would know he was someone to be respected.
Curtis smiled and began reciting portions of the Easter sermon he was going to preach tomorrow morning.
“Where in the world have you been all day, Curtis?” Mariah asked. They were in the family room now, but she’d been standing right in front of the garage door as soon as she heard him pull inside of it.
“I told you before I left. Tyler and I went car shopping and then we had lunch. And after that I went by his house with him and had dinner with his family.”
“Do you think I’m stupid, Curtis?”
“No, baby, I’m telling you the God’s honest truth. I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this.”
“So are you saying that if I pick up the phone and call Tyler’s wife, she’ll tell me that you were over there?”
“What? Call his wife? Have you lost your mind?”
“No, because I want to know if that’s really where you were all evening.”
“You are not about to embarrass me, Mariah. Do you want them to think we’re having problems and that you don’t trust your own husband?”
“No, but I’m sick of you coming up with all these reasons why you have to be gone.”
“I’m not just coming up with reasons. I spent the day with Tyler because you said that you and Vivian were going shopping most of the day.”
“But I’ve been back home since around five o’clock. But now it’s eleven and you’re just now waltzing in here,” she said. She was surprised by her own tone and she could tell he was, too.
“And how was I supposed to know when you were going to be back here? What did you want me to do, sit around waiting on you all afternoon?”
“Yes, because I spend every single boring day of my life waiting for you.”
“Why are you so upset?”
“Because I’m sick of all your excuses and all your lies, Curtis.”
“Lies? I know you’re not standing there calling your own husband a liar.”
Mariah sighed and turned away from him.
“Wait a minute,” he said, grabbing her shoulder. “Don’t you ever walk away from me. You started all this madness, now stay here and finish it. So answer me.”
“Answer what?” she said, shocked that he’d grabbed her the way he had.
“Are you going to stand there and call me a liar to my face?”
Mariah didn’t know how to respond because she didn’t want him to become any angrier than he already was. It was probably better to back down, but she just couldn’t dismiss everything that Vivian had suggested. She had to stand up for herself or Curtis was never going to stop treating her the way he was.
“I’m not calling you a liar, I just want to know why you’re never home and why you always find all these other things to do so you won’t have to be with me.”
“The bottom line is this, Mariah: When I tell you something, you had better start believing it. And while we’re on the subject, let me make myself clear about something else. You’re my wife, but you don’t have the right to question me about anything. I told you that at the beginning, but you seem to have forgotten. A wife has her place and the Bible clearly states that a wife must submit to her husband. And that’s all you need to concern yourself with. Not with where I’ve been or with what I’m doing.”
Yes, she’d heard him speak about that, but until now he’d treated her like she was an equal. Like she was his wife. And she couldn’t understand at all why now he was speaking to her like she was beneath him. Almost like he couldn’t stand the sight of her.
But she wasn’t about to back down to him.
“Are you seeing someone else?” she asked.
“What?” he said, laughing. “Woman, now I know you’ve lost it. And where is all this really coming from, anyway? All this ranting and raving you’re doing? Although, come to think of it, I know exactly where it’s coming from. That big, tall, man-looking Amazon you call your best friend.”
“This has nothing to do with Vivian,” was all she could say.
“Of course it does. It has everything to do with her, and the only reason she’s pumped you up like this is because she doesn’t have a man herself. She’s miserable and lonely, and she wants you to be the same way. And you’re crazy enough to fall for it.”
“But that’s just it, Curtis, I am miserable and lonely, and that’s the whole point I’m trying to make.”
“Well, if you are, it’s your own fault, because I told you to find something to do.”
“But what about us? I know you’re busy with the church, but, Curtis, it’s gotten to the point where you only spend maybe one or two evenings with me a week. And now all of a sudden you’re claiming you have to do work on Mondays when you promised me that we’d always do something together on your day off.”
“That was before I found out how much work I had to do.”
“Well, as much as I hate to say it, I can’t go on like this.”
“Can’t go on? I know you’re not trying to threaten me, are you?”
“No, I’m just saying that I can’t keep being unhappy like this.”
“Have you forgotten that you had nobody before you met me? That is, unless you count that low-life family of yours who’ve never even seen the inside of a church, let alone gone to one.”
Mariah burst into tears.
Curtis walked past her, then glanced back. “I wish you would try to walk out on me and my church. If you do, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Now this conversation is over.”