Curtis strutted into the room at Embassy Suites over in Lombard, a northwest suburb, hugged Charlotte, and said, “It’s really good to see you.” She’d trimmed off most of her hair, but she still looked good. That tiny waist of hers was still a lot smaller than her hips, too.
“It’s good to see you as well,” she said. “And I have to tell you, I was really shocked to hear your voice today.”
She took a seat on the sofa, and Curtis sat next to her.
“Well, after five years, I felt it was time. I mean, I’ve thought about you a lot, but I had no choice but to respect your father’s wishes.”
“Actually, I’m glad you didn’t try to contact me, because for the first two years all Dad talked about was how he should have had you arrested. He was so hurt and so angry about me getting pregnant.”
“It never should’ve happened. You weren’t even out of high school when we first started seeing each other. And we should have been more careful when it came to birth control.”
“Maybe, but all I knew was that I was in love with you, and I would have done anything to be with you.”
She was definitely telling the truth about that. Curtis could still remember how infatuated she’d been with him and how she didn’t even mind him taking her to cheap motels. Whenever he’d told her to jump, all she wanted to know was how high and for how long. It was almost like she craved everything about him.
“So how have you been?” he asked.
“I’ve been doing well, considering I’m a single parent.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it.”
Curtis couldn’t help feeling sorry for her and even a touch of remorse because he knew he hadn’t done right by her. He knew he’d taken advantage of a young teenager who didn’t know whether she was going or coming.
“And what about my son?”
“Oh, so you know that I had a boy, then?”
“Yeah, I heard it from a member who still attends Faith.”
“Well, he’s doing fine and growing taller every day. I think he’s going to be as tall as you, and as much as my father hates it, he looks just like you, too.”
Curtis smiled, but now he regretted losing the first five years of his son’s life. He regretted not being there for him and not being able to provide for him, because his son deserved so much better. He tried to imagine what he looked like, but what he wanted was to see him with his own eyes.
“Do you have a photo of him?” he asked.
“Of course,” she said, pulling out her wallet and snapping it open. “This is the most recent. We just had it taken a few weeks ago.”
Curtis took the picture and stared at it. He couldn’t take his eyes off the handsome little boy who was staring right back at him. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this proud, not since the day Alicia was born.
“Can I have it?” Curtis asked.
“Sure.”
“So what’s his name?” Curtis asked, swallowing hard. He hadn’t planned on being this emotional, and the last thing he wanted was to break down in front of a woman.
“Matthew.”
“Hmmm, he looks like a Matthew, too. He really is a handsome little dude.”
“That he is, and his grandparents think he’s the greatest thing on this earth. They have him so spoiled, but he really is a good little kid. He’s everything to me.”
Curtis sighed, still looking at the photo.
“So I heard through the grapevine that you got married again and that you’ve got another church,” she commented.
“Yeah, I do. I didn’t think I’d ever get back into the ministry, but the next thing I knew, I was accepting a position at Truth.”
“So do you like being a pastor again?”
“Yeah. But it’s still just as stressful as always.”
“And what about your wife? Are you guys happy?”
Curtis chuckled. “I guess it depends on how you define being happy.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I needed a wife in order to keep the position at Truth, and I’m living a pretty decent life in general.”
“But are you happy?”
“Sometimes, but sometimes I pretty much just go through the motions.”
“Then that’s too bad.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because what’s the point in being married if you’re miserable all the time?”
“Sometimes you do what you have to do.”
“I guess. But I’m just saying I don’t want that for me.”
“So are you seeing anyone?” Curtis said, slipping in the question he’d been wanting to ask for a while now.
“Sort of, but it’s nothing real serious.”
“Does he spend time with Matthew?”
Curtis knew he didn’t have the right to call any shots, but he just didn’t want to hear about some other man playing daddy to his son.
“The three of us have gone a few places together, but that’s really it.”
“Oh.”
“So how’s Alicia?” she asked.
“She’s fine, but she’s not too happy with me right now.”
“Why is that?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ll bet she’s as beautiful as ever.”
“She is. But she definitely has a mind of her own.”
“I can imagine.”
“So tell me,” Curtis said, turning his body toward her. “Is there a chance I can see my son one day?”
“I don’t know. Because even though Dad doesn’t mention you that much anymore, I think he would go through the roof if he thought you were anywhere near Matthew. And I don’t think he was bluffing when he said he’d press charges against you.”
“But maybe you could bring Matthew to see me without him knowing it.”
“I just don’t know. I mean, I do want you to see Matthew, and I want him to know who his father is, but I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with my parents. They’ve allowed us to live with them all these years, and they’ve done everything they could for both of us. It wouldn’t be so hard if I was living on my own, but I’m not.”
Curtis didn’t know what else to say, and Charlotte looked at him sympathetically and said, “I’m sorry.”
“If that’s how it is, then that’s how it is. But can I ask you something else?”
“What’s that?”
“What about you and me?”
“I wondered how long it was going to take for you to bring that up,” she said, smiling.
“Why? Are you offended?”
“Should I be?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“You know I’ve missed you.”
“No, Curtis, what you missed were the things I used to do to you.”
“This is true, but I missed you as a person, too, because we had some great times together.”
She had definitely matured over the years, even more so than he expected.
“And you think because we used to have some great times, you can simply call me up, meet me at a hotel, and screw my brains out?” she asked. Curtis didn’t say it out loud, but yes, that’s exactly what he’d been thinking. Of course, his priority was meeting his son, but from the moment he’d heard her voice on the phone, he hadn’t been able to take his mind off her. He didn’t know what sort of person she was now, but back in the day, she’d been the freak of the week. He hadn’t understood how she’d become so experienced at the age of seventeen, but she knew what she was doing. She knew how to satisfy him in ways that Tanya and even Adrienne couldn’t learn.
“Look,” he said. “I’m not going to lie to you. I’m married, but I’m not happily married. And this time it’s even worse than when I was married to Tanya.”
“But I heard you just got married a few months ago.”
“I did.”
“Well, didn’t you know she wasn’t the one before then?”
“I knew she was a nice, decent woman and that any church would love to have her as a first lady. And at the time, that’s what was important to me.”
Charlotte shook her head in disbelief. “But now you want to start seeing me again?”
“Well, maybe if you hadn’t come here looking so fine, I wouldn’t be heated up like this.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious.”
“Well, the thing is, I’m only one semester from finishing my bachelor’s degree, and I don’t need any more heartaches.”
“Really? What are you majoring in?”
“Prelaw.”
“Well, congratulations. I’m very proud of you.”
“You should be, because it wasn’t easy being pregnant and devastated all while trying to finish up high school. But my parents insisted that I do it, and then they encouraged me to go to college.”
“Well, all I can say is that I will never hurt you again. You’re the mother of my son. And that’s why I’m being on the up-andup about my marriage to Mariah.”
“In a perfect world, you would have married me instead of someone else, though.”
“I know, and I regret that I didn’t,” he said, stroking her cheek.
“I think it’s time for me to go,” she said, moving to the edge of the sofa.
“So soon,” he said, rubbing her thigh.
“Curtis, please don’t do this.”
“Baby, I can’t help it. You know how wild and crazy you always made me feel, and that hasn’t changed.”
“Do you know how long it took me to get over you?”
“And I’m sorry for that, but all I want is a chance to make it up to you. I want a chance to make things right with you and my son.”
“But you’re married. And that means we can never be a family.”
“You never know what the future holds for any of us,” he said, touching her chin and turning her face toward him.
“But I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t ever want to love any man the way I loved you.”
“I think you’re still in love with me now, but you’re just trying to fight it.”
“I’ve gotta go,” she said, and stood up.
When she stepped to the door, Curtis hugged her from behind and kissed the sides and back of her neck. He maneuvered his hands under her shirt and grasped her breasts.
She moaned and dropped her handbag to the floor.
“I promise I’ll do right by you this time,” he said, still kissing her.
“Curtis, why are you doing this?” She dropped her head back against his chest.
“Because you want me to, and because I wanna make love to my son’s mother again.”
From that moment, Charlotte didn’t ask any further questions, and Curtis led her into the bedroom. He hadn’t wanted to betray Mariah with Adrienne and Adrienne with Charlotte, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d wanted things to be different, but at least he wasn’t seeing anyone new. He still wasn’t seeing any women from his own church, either, and to him that was a step up.
He needed Charlotte to help relieve all the stress he was under.
Mariah stared across the parking lot and saw Curtis walking toward his car. When he’d left the house, claiming he was on the way to the hospital, she’d finally taken Vivian’s advice and followed him. She’d watched him go into the hotel, and now here he was three hours later, just coming out. She’d cried herself into a frenzy the moment she saw him walk in there, but she’d decided it was better not to confront him. It was better to wait and see just who he was sleeping with.
She started her car, drove down the first aisle and over to the second. She saw Curtis and some woman tightly embraced, so she accelerated toward them with her brights on. She screeched the tires only inches from where they were standing. Curtis yanked the woman away from Mariah’s car, but she jerked away from him with her mouth stretched open. And when Mariah stepped out of the car, the woman rushed over to her own, started it, and drove away in a hurry.
“Curtis, why?” Mariah said, yelling. “Why are you doing this?”
“Are you crazy? You could have killed us.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“What else do you want me to say? Because right now I’m trying to figure out why the hell you followed me here.”
“Because I’m your wife, Curtis.”
“I don’t care who you are. And I’m tellin’ you right now, don’t you ever fix your mind to even think about following me again,” he said, stabbing his finger toward her face.
“But we’re married,” she said, dumbfounded. “And you said you loved me. And you promised me that you weren’t seeing anyone else.”
“Please,” he said, pushing past her.
He got in his car, turned on the ignition, and cracked his window. “You know what? You look like an absolute fool standing out here this late at night.”
Mariah felt like the world was coming to an end, and her head pounded. She pleaded to him with her eyes, begging for understanding, but he shook his head in disgust and drove off. He left her standing there looking like the fool he’d said she was.
She dragged herself back over to her car and tried to gather her composure. How could a man she loved so much be so cruel and inconsiderate? How could he have looked her in her face, lied day after day, and then told her he was excited about them starting a family? How could he have changed so drastically in such a short period of time? She still remembered the day she met him, the day he asked her to marry him, and the day she’d become his wife. But now Curtis was a very different person. She didn’t know who he was, but he certainly wasn’t the man she’d first known. He wasn’t the man the deacons and the rest of the congregation had come to depend on. When he’d been gone all day last Saturday, deep down she’d known he was with someone else. But when he’d wooed her so attentively and so genuinely after service on Easter Sunday, she’d succumbed. She’d tried to tell herself that all her suspicions were a result of her imagination. She’d tried to let bygones be bygones, and she told herself that it was normal for all married couples to have occasional problems and disagreements. But finding your husband casually strolling out of a hotel in the wee hours of the morning with a woman who looked young enough to be his daughter wasn’t acceptable. She’d never seen the woman before, but she wondered if the woman could be the mother of his child. She wondered if Curtis had been seeing her all along and had lied when he said he’d never seen his son.
As she drove out of the parking lot, she broke into tears again and had to pull to the side of the road. What was she supposed to do now? How was she supposed to stay married to a man who had no problem messing around on her? How was she going to explain to her mother that she couldn’t stay married to a man like Curtis, no matter how much money he made?
She tried to settle herself again and started down the street.
She wondered how such a wonderful fairy tale had quickly turned into a nightmare.
“Curtis, do you think I’m stupid?” Mariah said, following him into the kitchen.
“No, but I’m telling you it wasn’t what you think.”
“Then why did she run away and why didn’t you tell me that before storming out of the parking lot?”
“Because I was so upset with you for following me around like some kid. But I’m telling you, the only reason I was at the hotel was because the young woman you saw me with was threatening to commit suicide.”
“I don’t believe you’re standing there trying to make me believe a lie like that.”
“It’s not a lie. I hadn’t told you because I prefer to keep my counseling sessions confidential. But she’s been coming to my study at the church for over a month now. And the last time I saw her, she was so depressed that I gave her my cell phone number and told her to call me if she needed someone to talk to. So right after I left the Fairgates, she called and I drove to the hotel.”
“Just stop it, Curtis. Because what you don’t know is that I followed you from the house straight to the hotel and you never even went to any hospital. I waited out in that parking lot for three hours, until you finally decided to come back out.”
“You must have followed somebody else, because I definitely went to the hospital before going to that hotel.”
What was he trying to do? Make her think she was crazy? She’d seen what she’d seen, and she didn’t know how he could actually stand there trying to deny it.
“It was you,” she said. “I saw you park, I saw you get out of the car, and I saw you walk into the hotel.”
“Think what you want, but I know what the truth is, and if you don’t want to believe it, then I’m sorry.”
“You know, the thing is, Curtis, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t go on like this. Do you understand what I’m saying?” She was so exhausted and so baffled that she didn’t have any more fight in her. She didn’t have any more arguments for the testimony he kept trying to give.
“You don’t have a choice but to go on,” he stated. “I’ve told you that before.”
“No, Curtis, listen to me. I won’t stay married to a man who is being unfaithful and who is no longer in love with me.”
“No, you listen. You married me until death, and if you make one attempt to walk out that door, you’ll wish you never met me. Do you hear me?” he said, grabbing her arm.
“Curtis, stop it.”
She tried pulling away, but he tightened his grip and jerked her closer to him.
“I can see now that I haven’t made myself clear. You are my wife and nothing is going to change that. You keep talking all this craziness about me not being in love with you, but the truth is I’ve never been in love with you. I only married you because the church required me to have a wife within my first two years. And since I was already seeing you and I did care about you, I decided it was a done deal. But I was never in love with you. I could never be in love with you. And just so we understand each other, I will never allow you to jeopardize my position at the church, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure of it. Do you understand me?” he said, holding her face in a firm grip so that she was looking straight at him.
She burst into tears again. “Curtis, why are you hurting me like this?”
“Because you’re making me,” he said, and released her.
She turned to walk away.
“And don’t think you’re not going to church this morning,” he said.
“What? Curtis, I know you don’t expect me to go anywhere looking like this.” Her eyes were bloodshot, she’d been up all night, and the eight o’clock service was only six hours away.
“Not only do I expect it, that’s what you’re going to do. When you married me you married Truth Missionary Baptist Church. And as far as I’m concerned, this house, that car you drive around in, and all the money I give you are more than an even trade. And if you don’t like it, you’d better start pretending like you do.”
Mariah stared at him as if she didn’t know who he was. He was acting like he’d been smoking crack or something. He was acting like some crazed maniac who was completely out of control. And she could tell that he was dead serious. Right now she didn’t have a choice except to do what he told her.
But that wasn’t going to last forever. All her life she’d gone along with the program, tried to keep the peace, tried not to make any waves, tried to make sure that everyone liked her. But she was tired of it. She was tired of being afraid like the way she was now of Curtis. She was tired of accepting the existing conditions just because someone else wanted her to.
She didn’t know how she was going to get out of this marriage and as far away from Curtis as she could, but she knew she couldn’t live the rest of her life in fear. The only problem was, he’d proven that he would put his hands on her, and she believed he would do anything to keep his church. She’d seen the very angry, even deranged look on his face when he said it.
So, for now, she would treat their marriage and their life at church business as usual. She would bide her time until God delivered her from this whole mess.