Look, sweetheart,” Curtis said to Mariah from his cell phone while pulling his black Escalade into a parking ramp on Wacker Street. “How was I supposed to know that you were cooking me a surprise dinner? I mean if I’d known before now, I wouldn’t have committed to this regional ministers’ meeting.”
Mariah’s silence confirmed her disappointment, but Curtis wasn’t about to change his plans with Adrienne. He felt sorry for Mariah, but there was nothing he could do about it now.
“Why don’t you invite your mother and sisters over? It’s not like you ever spend that much time with them, anyway,” he said. Although, truthfully, he couldn’t have cared less whether they ever visited, because they were much too classless and ghetto.
“I only cooked enough for two,” she said.
“Then maybe you could just invite your mother.”
“We’ll see.”
“I’m really sorry, baby, but I promise I’ll be home as soon as the meeting is over.”
“Fine, Curtis.”
“Mariah, I really am sorry about this.”
“I said I was fine, didn’t I?”
“Whoa. Am I sensing a little bit of irritation here?”
“No. But I’m really disappointed, because I spent all day preparing this meal for you. Macaroni and cheese, baked beans, smothered ribs. I even made you that carrot cake you love so much.”
“Well, I said I was sorry, so I’m not sure what else you expect me to do. Unless you want me to ignore my pastoral obligations just so I can come home and be with you.”
“No, no, no. That’s not what I mean. It’s just that I wanted so much for us to spend the evening together.”
“I understand that, baby, and we will as soon as I get home.”
“I’ll be waiting for you.”
“See you in a few hours.”
“And Curtis?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
Curtis pressed the On-Star button inside the rearview mirror and ended his call to Mariah. He blew a sigh of frustration and relief. He was happy that Mariah never nagged him the way Tanya always had, but irritated because she always wanted him to spend so much time with her. With the exception of Bible study, other church-related events, and shopping, she didn’t like doing much else without him. But starting tonight, she was going to have to end this clinginess and find other interests. She would have to find other ways to occupy her time, because if things went the way he was expecting, he would soon be spending a whole lot more time with Adrienne.
Curtis tossed Mariah out of his mind and maneuvered into a parking stall. Adrienne pulled up next to him in a white Mercedes. Her hair hung freely just past her shoulder blades, just the way he liked it.
He smiled at her, stepped outside of his car, and set the alarm system.
“I see you’re still looking as gorgeous as ever,” he complimented her.
“Really? Well, you’re not.”
Curtis laughed. “Okay, I guess I deserve that,” he said as they walked toward the restaurant.
“Yes, Curtis, you do deserve that . . . and so much more. Which is why I never should have come down here in the first place.”
“You came because you knew it was the right thing to do, and because deep down you know you still care about me.”
Adrienne looked around to see if anyone was walking behind them, listening to their conversation.
“This just isn’t right,” she said matter-of-factly.
When they arrived in front of the restaurant, Curtis opened the door and waited for Adrienne to walk through it. Once inside, Curtis told the maître d’ that they had a reservation.
“Right this way, Mr. Black,” the slender forty-something man said, and then escorted them to a candlelit circular booth. “Your waitress will be with you momentarily.”
“Thank you,” Curtis offered.
“So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Adrienne asked almost immediately.
“Us. And I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for causing you so much pain. I must have been completely out of my mind to end our relationship the way I did.”
“Hmmph. Well, that’s all in the past now, isn’t it? So I ask you again, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” he said, smiling.
“No, I’m not. Because you treated me like I was nothing—like what we had never mattered to you in the least.”
“Now, baby, you know that’s not true. What you and I had was special, and I’ve never been more comfortable with any woman than I was with you. It’s just that I got myself caught up in that terrible marriage to Tanya and couldn’t see my way out of it without losing the church.”
“But you lost it anyway, so what difference did it make?”
“I know, and I’ve regretted not staying with you ever since. You can’t imagine how much.”
A very thin woman in her late twenties sat two glasses of water down on the table. “What can I get you to drink?”
“I’ll have some brandy,” Adrienne answered.
Curtis looked at her in shock, but her eyes dared him to comment.
“I’ll have a Perrier with lime,” he said.
“Can I bring either of you an appetizer?”
“I’ll have a small Caesar salad,” Adrienne said.
“I’ll have the field greens with vinaigrette,” Curtis added.
“Sounds good. I’ll bring them right out.”
“So when did you start drinking hard liquor?” Curtis wanted to know.
“When? I’ll tell you when. It was right around the time your little lying ass decided to dump me,” Adrienne spat out.
Curtis stared at her.
“Was that a good enough answer for you, Reverend Curtis Black?”
“Not really, because I still can’t believe you’re drinking alcohol.”
“Why, because it’s not Christian-like?”
“Well, now that you bring it up, yes. Because you know very well how sinful it is to drink intoxicating beverages.”
Adrienne laughed louder than Curtis would have liked, because people were starting to look in their direction.
“Did I say something funny?” he asked.
“Everything about you is funny. As a matter of fact, you’re the biggest joke I know. Because how in the world can you sit there and judge my drinking when just five years ago you were screwing my brains out every chance you got. And this was all while you were married to Tanya. Not to mention the fact that you have another wife at home right now, but still you’re sitting here with me.”
“None of us falls short of sin, Adrienne. We all make mistakes.”
“Whatever.”
It was time to change the subject. “So you say you and the deacon are happily married, huh?”
“Didn’t I tell you that he’s no longer a deacon?”
Curtis smiled at Adrienne. He’d heard what she said, but Thomas, as she referred to him, would always be the deacon in Curtis’s book, because Curtis liked the way it sounded. He loved the sarcasm of it.
“He’ll always be the deacon to me,” Curtis said.
“Whatever.”
“So?”
“So what?” Adrienne was irritated.
“Are you and the deacon happily married?”
“Yes. Very happy.”
“If you say so.”
“I do,” she said, and looked the other way.
Curtis was finally starting to realize that Adrienne wasn’t coming back to him without a fight. It was time to do and say whatever it would take to win her over, so he leaned against the leather backrest and clasped his hands together on top of the table. “You know, baby, it would be so much easier if you would at least try to forgive me. I know I was wrong for all the pain I caused you, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life making things up to you. I don’t love Mariah, and it’s only going to be a matter of time before I ask her for a divorce. She can’t do for me what you can. She can’t make me feel the way you can. And now that I’m sitting here with you, I realize how much I’m still in love with you. I knew my feelings for you were still strong, but I didn’t know that being this close to you would trigger my heart the way it has. I know you don’t believe me, but I don’t just want you back in my life, I desperately need you,” he said, gently grabbing her hand.
Adrienne’s face softened, but not enough for him to tell what she was thinking.
“Do you hear what I’m saying, baby? I need you to come back to me, because I don’t think I can live without you any longer.”
“Then why did you marry someone else, Curtis? Why did you do that?”
The waitress returned with their drinks, salads, and a basket of rolls. Then she jotted down their lobster and shrimp orders and left again.
“I don’t know why. I guess I didn’t think you would ever take me back, and to be honest, I thought it would be better if I left my past exactly where it was. I really wanted to start things right at this new church. And everything might’ve worked fine, except Mariah doesn’t satisfy me. We’ve only been married for a short while, but I don’t love her nearly the way a husband should love his wife. I don’t love her nearly as much as I love you.”
“I can’t do this, Curtis. I can’t do this to Thomas, and I won’t allow you to hurt me all over again. What we did back then was wrong, and God won’t forget that,” she said, picking up her brandy.
Curtis reached for her glass. “Adrienne, please don’t.”
“Why? It’s just one drink.”
“Because you don’t need it and because it’s so ungodly. And you know how much that sort of thing turns me off. I can’t stand to see any woman drink, smoke, or do drugs.”
“Why are you trying to control me, Curtis?” she said, lifting a forkful of salad.
“Baby, I’m not. Our bodies are sacred, and you know as well as I do that it’s a sin to harm what God has created,” he said, chewing some of his mixed greens.
“Whatever you say.”
“So, are you going to forgive me?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that.”
“Well, you know what the scripture says. ‘Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’ And you can’t get into heaven if you don’t learn to forgive people.”
“We won’t get into heaven by committing adultery either. I knew it when I first started sleeping with you, and I still know it now. Because it’s not like some sins are okay to commit and some aren’t. A sin is a sin is a sin, and there’s no denying that.”
“That’s true, but God knows that we are not perfect, and that we are sometimes too weak to ignore certain temptations. It’s different for everybody. Some people like to steal, some people like using the Lord’s name in vain, and some people use vulgarity and excessive anger on a regular basis. For you and me, it’s adultery. I keep telling you that none of us falls short and we have to pray constantly, asking for forgiveness.”
“And I’ve always told you that God doesn’t look favorably on people who knowingly commit sins just because they know they can ask for forgiveness later.”
“You’re making all this much more complicated than it needs to be. Because the bottom line is that I’m in love with you and, right or wrong, I can’t do anything to change that.”
“But you’re married to someone else, Curtis. You could have easily looked me up after you and Tanya were divorced, but you never even tried.”
“I know. And I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. But it won’t always be this way, because I’m not going to stay married to Mariah.”
“Really now? And when exactly are you planning to divorce this particular wife?”
“Soon. But I at least have to stay married to her for a year so it doesn’t look bad to the deacons or the congregation.”
“Oh no, here we go. Have you forgotten the fact that you told me that same lie when you were married to Tanya?”
“I know, but this is different. I promise you that it will only be six more months, tops.”
“Two lobster and shrimp specials,” the waitress said, sitting the plates down on the table. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, I think we’re fine for now,” Curtis said.
“Yes, everything is fine,” Adrienne added.
“Enjoy your meals.”
Curtis and Adrienne managed to make conversation while finishing dinner and then left the restaurant. When they arrived in the parking garage, Curtis opened Adrienne’s car door for her.
“Well, it was good to see—” she began, but Curtis kissed her mid-sentence.
“Curtis, don’t,” she said, pulling away from him.
He gently stroked her face. “Adrienne. Baby, please. Just give me this one last chance, and I promise I’ll do right by you.”
“No, Curtis. Please just go,” she said.
He pulled her toward him and kissed her again. This time her resistance was less physical, and Curtis could tell that there was still a great deal of fire and passion between them. It felt as though they’d never been apart.
But she jerked away from him.
“Curtis, I told you that I won’t do this again, and I want you to leave me alone for good.”
“But, baby,” he said, pleading.
“No,” she said flatly. “I mean it, Curtis. Don’t call me and don’t try to see me.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this. Not after all we’ve been through together. Not after seeing me again and realizing that we still love each other.”
Adrienne shook her head, frustrated by his persistence.
“Please, just let me go, Curtis. Please.”
Curtis hesitated but then stepped away. Adrienne sat in her car, shut the door, and backed the car away from him. She never looked back, and Curtis wondered what he was going to have to do to change her mind. He wondered how many more phone calls he’d have to make and how many dozens of flowers he’d have to send. Maybe jewelry would do the trick. He wasn’t sure what it was going to take, but the one thing he did know was that he needed her in his life again. He needed her more than ever before.
“I don’t know, Vivian,” Mariah said to her best friend after phoning her a half hour ago. “I guess I’m just feeling a bit uneasy because tonight is the first time he called at the last minute to say he wouldn’t be home for dinner. It was so unlike him not to have told me that earlier in the day.”
“I hear what you’re saying, girl, but he is a very well-known pastor. So I’m sure there are going to be many days when he’ll forget to tell you about certain meetings.”
“You’re right, but it still bothered me. Not to mention it’s almost nine and he’s still not home yet.”
“Maybe they sat around laughing and talking once the meeting was over. Because I’m sure they don’t spend all their time discussing just the Bible and what’s going on at their churches. I would think they have to socialize at least sometimes.”
“Maybe.”
“Girl, you have a wonderful man who loves and takes care of you, so stop your worrying. As a matter of fact, I remember you praying that Curtis would eventually be your husband, so I think you need to keep an open mind and just be thankful for what God has given you.”
“I am thankful, and I do know that he’s a good man, but . . . you know what, I think that’s him coming in right now.”
“See, I told you. Now get off this phone and go greet that man like a good wife ought to.”
“Talk to you later.”
“Have fun.”
Mariah walked downstairs and saw Curtis removing his blazer.
“So how was the meeting?” she asked, kissing him.
“It was lengthy as usual, but productive. We met until around eight and then I stopped at a deli to get a sandwich. So that’s why I’m just now getting home.”
“Oh. Well then, I guess you’re not hungry.”
“No, I’m not. And I’m sorry I didn’t make it home for dinner. But what you can do is warm everything up tomorrow when Alicia gets here,” he said, referring to his daughter.
“Fine,” Mariah said, dreading her stepdaughter’s visit. Not because she didn’t like Alicia, but because Alicia always made Mariah feel like an intrusion. Curtis kept insisting that things would get better, but they hadn’t. It was the same routine every other weekend. Alicia would walk into the house, speak to Mariah with no enthusiasm, and then head up to her bedroom. Mariah was trying to be patient with her, since she’d only been her stepmother for a few months, but she was beginning to run out of ways to get on her good side. She hoped this weekend would be different.
“I’m beat,” Curtis said, stretching. “Let’s head up to bed.”
“And do what?” Mariah teased him.
“Fall into a very deep sleep.”
“What about before that?” she said, walking up the winding staircase in front of him.
“Not tonight, baby. I’m really tired, and I have to get up pretty early in the morning.”
Mariah felt her stomach stirring. This was definitely a first. Curtis coming home on any day of the week and not wanting to make love to her? She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but decided against it because she didn’t want to sound suspicious. Maybe he didn’t want her because he was tired of begging for oral sex. He’d said he couldn’t be responsible for what might happen if he didn’t get what he needed, and that’s why she’d done the best she could yesterday afternoon. But she knew with everything inside her that she hadn’t satisfied him. He’d told her it was good, but his facial expression screamed another story. She wanted to get better at it and was willing to practice until she was perfect.
When they entered the master bedroom suite, Mariah pulled him toward her and kissed him. They kissed until Curtis pulled away and began removing his clothing. But Mariah wasn’t giving up so easily. She wasn’t about to let him drop off to sleep before giving him what he swore he needed.
“Sweetheart, let me do something special for you.”
“Mariah, honey. I’m really, really tired. But I promise you we’ll make love tomorrow.”
She heard every word he said, but ignored his wishes. She slid his underwear down to the floor and rested her weight on her knees. Curtis watched her but didn’t move. Mariah massaged him and then took him inside her mouth. She tried to pleasure him the exact same way she’d seen some woman pleasure her husband on one of the pay channels. She’d been flipping through them just before calling Vivian and decided to see how this was supposed to be done. She still thought it was unnatural and deplored it, but believed it was her duty to keep Curtis happy.
Mariah hoped she was doing it right this time, and when she saw Curtis’s eyes roll toward the back of his head, she knew she was on track. She would only get better as time went on, and then he wouldn’t have a single thing to complain about. There would be no reason at all why he’d ever consider going astray. She realized that Vivian was right. There wasn’t anything at all she should be worrying about when it came to Curtis.