To Juliet and Barbara

Foreword

When this work was first published, it introduced a new discipline and a new awareness. The book has become the classic guide to interpreting body language. It is being used worldwide and has been translated into thirteen languages. How To Read a Person Like a Book presents a system for reading gestures that crosses all cultures and generations. Deciphering non-verbal communication opens the door to understanding what people are feeling, no matter what messages they may convey verbally. Every time you turn on the TV, you will recognize when a politician is trying to influence you, or when a salesman is making his pitch. Every time you go to a business meeting, you'll be able to recognize the prime players. If someone lies to you, you'll recognize the signs that cue you in to what's happening. You'll be sensitive to what's behind anger when it confronts you. In other words, you will be more finely tuned to the communication process, recognizing meanings and innuendoes that are not apparent in the spoken word. As a barometer of what people feel, gestures are more reliable than words.

In today's confused world, the insights provided by this book are now particularly relevant. We now recognize the importance of body language in communication. However, the structured guide to reading gestures contained herein is necessary.

• Male and female relationships are subject to misinterpretation, particularly since behavioral guidelines are unclear. Gesture reading is the important first step to building lasting relationships.

• We see politicians speak words that are geared to manipulate our thinking but we can recognize that the words do not match their non-verbal behavior.

• The media presents mixed visual and verbal messages to influence our decisions.

• We are continually inundated by sophisticated peddlers of misinformation who want our vote, our business, and our allegiance.

Fortune tellers now read their client's gestures as carefully as their palms. Even observant sales clerks recognize that shoppers who keep their hands deeply in their pockets are not buyers. Airline security officers now monitor the luggage check-in looking for people whose gestures make them suspicious. Bombings are aborted simply on the basis of accurately observing a passenger's gestures.

Can anyone doubt the importance of learning the intricacies of non-verbal behavior? Relying on the spoken word is not adequate. That's why How To Read a Person Like a Book is so essential a tool to better understanding between people. When this was written, I did not appreciate that it would be true in almost every situation and culture in the world.

Our function as human beings is to increase our expertise and to become so human that we see ourselves in all other people.

Gerard I. Nierenberg