CAROLINE BURIED HER toes in the sand. Then she waited for a wave to rush up and sweep the fine white grains back to sea. But the tide had already receded and her feet remained buried. Still, the chill from the rushing waves ran upward from her feet to her calves. She’d rolled up her cargo pants and removed her boots. She’d needed to feel something other than shock and sadness.
If I stay here long enough I’ll freeze and break into pieces, she thought. But at least then I won’t have to run anymore. To live in hiding while he plays ball with his kids.
Seeing Dustin hadn’t delivered a neatly wrapped box full of closure. She’d been naïve to believe driving down here would lock her past away where it belonged. And she knew that she couldn’t stop running unless she turned herself in to the military.
Five hours sitting on the beach, watching the waves and noting the tide, delivered a hefty dose of clarity along with the chill.
And Josh.
He’d offered a strong, determined presence seemingly at odds with his charming smile. Along with the burger he’d set on her lap and told her to eat, he’d secured rooms for them at an oceanfront motel. It wasn’t the Oregon cottage, but seeing as she’d spent most of the day sitting on the motel’s beach, it felt like the right choice.
So had leaving the Marines, the branch of the military that she’d wanted to join since she was a kid. And standing up in military court and telling the truth about her CO. All good, solid choices.
Yet she was the one who’d spent the past year hiding and constantly looking over her shoulder. She’d been terrified to live her life.
But not Dustin. He’d picked up the pieces and moved on.
The injustice turned her stomach. And for a moment, she felt as if she would throw up the burger.
“Are you cold?” Josh settled in the sand next to her and held out a Moore Timber sweatshirt.
“Yes,” she said, taking the extra layer and pulling it over her plain black T-shirt.
“I’m guessing that wasn’t what you were expecting to find,” he said.
She turned away from the water and looked at him. He still wore the same jeans and long-sleeve flannel shirt. But he’d traded his boots for a pair of flip-flops.
“No,” she said slowly. “I had this picture in my head that he would be sitting in his rented apartment alone. Maybe drinking a beer in the middle of the morning.”
“I’m guessing he didn’t have the beer gut when he served,” Josh said.
She shook her head. “Yeah, that’s something. But I still can’t believe his wife took him back.”
“You don’t know that full story. I’ve been thinking about this since we left. A sick kid, home from school while the mom needs to work. Maybe she called and demanded that he come over.”
“Maybe,” she said. But Dustin had appeared at ease, at home on the picture-perfect lawn.
Josh looked down at his feet. “You know how I told you my mom left when I was a kid?”
She nodded.
“It happened just like that,” he said. “One day she just walked out the door. My father was back from flying choppers for the army and I don’t know, but I guess she decided she’d had enough of taking care of four kids on next to nothing.
“I’ll never know why she left.” He looked up and met her gaze. “Once or twice I thought about trying to find her. I wondered if hearing her side of the story would bring, I don’t know—”
“Closure,” she supplied.
“Yeah. And look, I know it’s not the same. Dustin attacked you. What he did . . .”
Josh pressed his lips together and a ripple of tension moved down his arms. The muscles in his forearms looked ready to jump into action.
“It makes me want to hit something too,” she said. “But you’re right. Looking back won’t help me get my life back on track. If he had been sitting around drunk and feeling sorry for himself in the middle of the morning, that wouldn’t have erased the past.”
“Nothing will,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t look ahead and try to rebuild your life.”
“And if I can’t?” she whispered, hating the hollow sound of fear in her soft words.
He reached over and took her hand. “I wonder that same thing all the time. I survived a week in a coma and lived. I lost my memory and got it back. Life gave me another shot. What if it amounts to nothing? What if I waste it?”
“You have a plan,” she pointed out. “The big house on a nice piece of land.”
“I do. And it’s a good one.” He reached over and took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers. “But if I had to choose between eating cold fries out here on the beach with you and the vision of domestic bliss I’ve mapped out in my imagination, I’d stay right here.”
“Josh,” she murmured.
He offered her a smile. “I’d rather have another date with you.”
I believe you and your cocky, too-charming grin. I’m halfway in love with it. . .
If she let herself walk into the future and claim Josh Summers, she just might fall for him completely.
But loving Josh didn’t cancel out her past. And it wouldn’t change the fact that she was still being hunted. Not by Dustin. No, today had made that crystal clear. Dustin wasn’t biding his time until he could seek his revenge.
She was being hounded by her own choices—to run, to hide, and to live in fear of taking another shot at a life. It was time to make better decisions. And it was time to listen to her heart instead of giving her fear free rein.
He gave her hand a squeeze. “This doesn’t have to be date. We could swap foot rubs on the beach instead of back massages and then go to our separate rooms.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked. If she pushed past her reservations, if she listened to her desire, she wanted a fourth date. But maybe today—and seeing the man who’d raped her—had shaken him. What had happened in Afghanistan had always been very real to her. Maybe today had shifted her past from a word or concept into a tangible thing for him too. “You would rather have me rub your feet instead of—”
“No,” he said firmly. But he pulled his hand free from hers. He ran his fingers through his red curls. “That’s not it, Caroline. There isn’t a part of my body that I don’t want you to touch.”
She leaned back and rested her palms on the sand. “If you think I won’t take you up on that offer,” she said in a no-nonsense tone, “then I’m afraid I’m going to insist on another date.”
His smile faded, but he kept his gaze fixed on her, his expression open and sincere. “Caroline, I need you to go to bed with me because you want me. If tonight, after our adventure today, you’re looking for a way to move on, then we’ll wait.”
Relief rushed in. She tipped her chin to her chest and grinned. Josh held tight to what he needed. No guessing. No games. Now it was her turn.
“When I was touching you last night, the feel of your shoulder blades turned me on.” She looked up at him. “You sat in a hospital for month, yet now every inch of you is perfect. And don’t tell me it’s from baking.”
“I spend most days holding a chainsaw, not a spatula,” he pointed out, a hint of his smile returning.
“I felt the strength in your muscles and I wasn’t afraid you would overpower me—”
“Never,” he said firmly.
“I know.” She sat up, pulling her hands free from the sand. And she reached for him. Her fingers brushed the coarse stubble on his cheeks. He hadn’t bothered to shave this morning. Now he looked a little rough and so sexy she wondered for a moment why he’d stayed. He’d waited a long time for her. And he was willing to keep their relationship out of the bedroom a while longer.
She searched for the right words. “You feel good. All of you. Your shoulders, your lower back, your kisses . . .” She leaned close and pressed her lips to his. Fighting the urge to linger and explore, she drew back. “And your company. You feel right and good. And I’m not saying this to seduce you—”
“Just to boost my ego?” he said.
“Just take me at my word,” she murmured. “You feel like an impending orgasm.”
CAROLINE HAD NEVER lied to him. Not even that first night when he’d found her camped out. Sure, she’d withheld details. But that just proved she wasn’t stupid. No one shared their life story, their personal tragedies, or even their last name, with a stranger they met in the woods.
So if she said touching him, hell, even sharing the same section of beach with him, pushed her close to the big O, he believed her.
“Are you ready?” He reached for her. Placing his hands on her hips, he drew her closer. And she came willingly, shifting to her side and then climbing onto his lap. Her legs straddled his and her knees pressed into the sand straddling his thighs.
“For hours of naughty foreplay after our dinner date?” she asked, running her hands over his supposedly orgasm-worthy shoulders.
He laughed. And after the wound-up, fucked-up day they’d shared, it felt good. “You’re hungry again?” He ran his hand up her thighs and pictured stripping off her cargo pants. He wanted to feel her bare skin. “I brought you a lukewarm burger.”
“Hours ago. Plus, this is a date.”
“Hmm.” His fingers roamed over her hips, shifting higher and higher. He pressed the heel of his hand against her lower back and drew her closer. “I meant are you ready for those dirty words I promised you? I vote we skip dinner and kick off the foreplay with another showing of your underwear.”
She arched beneath his touch and then rocked her hips forward. Even though she’d given him one helluva green light, he didn’t thrust up to meet her. He let her set the motion, moving over his erection as if she also wished their clothes would magically disappear.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t wait?” she asked. “We could go back to the room and order room service. My treat. Talk some more . . .”
“If you keep moving like that, I won’t make it until we get back to the room.” His lips hovered over her neck. He punctuated the statement with a kiss to the soft skin just above her shoulder.
She leaned back and her hips stilled. And his dick throbbed, demanding that he voice an objection. But her gaze was fixed on a point over his shoulder.
“I’m not sure this place offers room service,” she said.
“We’ll order pizza. Later.” He wrapped his left arm around her. His right hand pressed into the sand seeking leverage. “Now, hold on tight.”
He pushed off the beach, but managed to keep her strong, petite body wrapped around his. Her thighs pressed tight against his sides.
So damn strong, he thought. She could hold on to him without his help, but he palmed her butt anyway, carrying her toward the motel with one firm cheek resting in each hand.
He saw an older couple, probably twenty years their senior, ahead of them on the path. He strode past them and offered a friendly greeting. And Caroline buried her face against his neck.
“Hiding?” he asked once they were out of earshot.
“Something like that.” She ran her tongue down the V-neckline of his button-down shirt. “Or maybe I just wanted a taste,” she added, her lips moving against his skin as she spoke.
“It’s a damn good thing our rooms are on the first floor with an ocean view,” he growled.
He reached the door and reluctantly lowered her to the ground. As soon as her feet touched the pavement, he missed the warmth of her body against his.
“So here’s the thing,” he said, withdrawing the room key, an old-fashioned actual key on a ring, from his pocket. “I think we need to work our way up to pizza. Get good and hungry first.”
“A date in reverse? Start in bed and go backward?”
“Yeah, and later we can blame my memory. I still struggle with sequences,” he said. “Sometimes I add the baking soda before the eggs. But don’t worry, I never forget to preheat the oven.”
“I don’t know.” She looked up at him. “It could take up to thirty minutes for delivery . . . but if you think you’ll need more time.”
I don’t think I’ll last five minutes, he thought.
But he nodded. When they got inside, he would take a step back and remind himself to slow the hell down. The key turned and the locked clicked. He pushed the door open and held it for her.
As soon as it clicked shut behind them, she disappeared behind him. “Caroline?”
“Don’t mind me,” she murmured. He could feel her breath on his neck. “I’m just going to help you out of your shirt. And while I work your buttons . . .” She released the third one, extending the V of his neckline to the middle of his chest. He’d forgotten to pack an undershirt, but he’d tossed in a box of condoms just in case.
“You can tell me all of the naughty things you want to do to me after I get you out of these clothes. How you like to be touched—” She’d released another two buttons and paused to slide her hands inside his open shirt, running her hands over his lower ribs. “Where you want my mouth . . .”
Her fingers moved to the top of his jeans and he groaned. But he caught hold of her wrists before she lowered his zipper and reached inside. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking the questions?” she asked.
She pulled away and he instantly released her.
“Sorry,” he said. Shit, he didn’t want to apologize for wanting to give her what she’d asked for. He had to do this right. “But I don’t want to frighten you. I need to know how to touch you, what you like—”
“Josh.” She moved around to stand in front of him again. But she didn’t reach for him. “Do I look scared?”
He ran his hands through his hair. “I meant I don’t want to do something that would trigger a reaction.”
“Then we better keep our clothes on and order pizza. Because when I said you look like an impending orgasm, I didn’t mean I would come from staring at you. I’m hoping you’ll make love to me until you trigger a reaction so big that I’m begging you for another the minute it subsides.”
“Caroline, I’m trying to be careful.”
“Well, stop,” she shot back. “You’ve never treated me like I might break apart at any second. Please don’t start now.”
He studied the fierce woman who’d been undressing him until he threw on the brakes. She was right. If he trusted her, he didn’t need to question his every move. She’d speak up for herself.
“All right.”
She stepped closer, but still didn’t touch him. Her chin high, her green eyes flashing with a combination of desire and determination, she stared up at him.
“Talk to me. Touch me,” she said as her fingers curled around the edge of her black T-shirt. Then she drew it over her head. She tossed it aside and reached behind her to free her bra. “Don’t hold back.”
Josh kissed his restraint goodbye and placed his hands on her bare chest. The weight settled into his palms. Her nipples formed tight peaks as he lifted and pressed her breasts together. He hunched his shoulders and lowered his mouth to her skin. And his tongue dipped into her cleavage.
Her fingers worked into his hair, holding him close. “Josh, for the record, I love the way you use your mouth.”
Love.
It was too soon to tell her he was falling for a helluva lot more than her mouth. No, he still needed to prove that this—his lips exploring her body—worked for them.
He pressed one more kiss to her breasts. Then he released her chest and lowered down to his knees. And he reached for her steel-toed boots.
“First I’m going to get you out of these ass-kicking shoes.” His fingers worked the laces. “And then I want another look at your panties before I slide them down your legs and show you exactly what I can do with my mouth.”