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We stared at each other for a loaded moment. He looked tired and a little dishevelled. I felt a sudden urge to brush his hair from his forehead but stopped myself in time.
“Hi,” I said.
He looked at me blankly. “Hi. What... I mean, I thought you’d be back in London.”
“I didn’t go. I mean, I turned down that job. Long story.” I paused. Then I took a deep breath. “I know I behaved badly a few weeks ago when I came back from London. I didn’t mean to slam the door in your face, and I want to say sorry and that I hope we can still be friends even if you’re in a relationship.” I drew breath and waited for a reaction.
He stared at me. “In a—what?”
“Relationship. You know, like on Facebook, I mean, oh, I don’t know. You and whatshername—Clodagh.”
Jonathan looked bewildered. “In a relationship? Me and Clodagh?”
“Yes. Aren’t you?”
“Not the way you think.” Jonathan’s mouth quivered.
I suddenly couldn’t bear looking at him or even being close to him without being able to touch him. “Well, whatever. I have to go now. Hope you can forgive me.”
I turned and ran down the stairs, my eyes stinging. Jonathan shouted something I didn’t hear. I hurried inside as fast as I could, threw myself on the bed, and buried my face in the pillows, finally letting out my sorrow in noisy sobs. But I stopped when I heard someone coming into the room. I turned around and saw Jonathan.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he shouted, pulling me up by the shoulders, his eyes blazing with anger.
“How did you get in?”
“You didn’t lock the door.”
I turned my face to the wall. “Leave me alone.”
“Is this about Clodagh?”
“What the feck else do you think it is?” I turned my tear-stained face to him, knowing my eyes were red and swollen, my nose running, and my hair a mess. But what did it matter? “You said so many things,” I wept. “That time, before I left for London, that made me believe you had...feelings for me. I thought...I hoped...”
“Thought what?” he asked. “You were going away to take up a new career. So how would that work, if we were—” he coughed “—lovers?”
“I don’t know,” I sobbed. “I suppose that wouldn’t have been so great. But now I’m back, and I’m not going to be working in London after all, and I was so looking forward to telling you, but then I found out about that girl.”
He stared at me. “You’re not?”
“No,” I cried. “I told you. I’m not. But what do you care, anyway? You have Clodagh.”
“No I don’t.”
“What?”
He got up and tore several tissues from the box on the night table and handed them to me. “Here. Blow your nose.”
I wiped my eyes and blew my nose noisily. “Thanks. So? You were saying? About Clodagh?”
He smiled and stroked my cheek with his finger. “You were jealous. But there’s no need.”
“Yeah, okay. I was jealous, so shoot me.” I sat up and leaned against the wall. “You’re laughing at me. Please stop looking so bloody smug and tell me what’s going on.”
“Clodagh isn’t my girlfriend, you silly woman. She’s an electrician.”
“She’s an electrician? So that makes it impossible for her to be your girlfriend?”
“No, of course not. Being an electrician wouldn’t stop her being my girlfriend. But I’m not interested in her in that way. I’m, uh, interested in you.” He sighed. “Shit, this is getting complicated.”
“You’re really good at explaining things, aren’t you?” I dabbed at my eyes and let out a sob mixed with laughter. It was all right. He wasn’t in love with Clodagh. She wasn’t his girlfriend.
“Shut up for a minute.” Jonathan sat down on the bed, put his hands on my shoulders, and looked deep into my eyes. “I’m having this house rewired. Clodagh works for the firm that’s going to do it. She was here to look around so they could give me a quote. That’s all. Mind you, she’s very cute. But I’m in love with you, not her. Got that?”
I stared at him. “You’re in love? With me?”
He sighed. “Yes. God help me, I am.”
I smiled. “Me too.” I grabbed his shirt and pressed my face against it. “With you.”
“That’s good.” He snaked his warm hand under my hair and put it on the back of my neck. “Did I hear you say you’re not going to London to take that job?”
“That’s right.” I looked at his surprised face and laughed. “Didn’t you hear what I said a few minutes ago? I’m not going to London. I’m not going to be editor-in-chief of The Bluestocking Review. I’m staying right here to run our little paper and the new magazine.”
“How come? What made you change your mind?”
“I didn’t like the smell of the Tube.”
He nodded. “That’s a good reason. But I bet there’s something else.”
“Lots of things.” I snuggled up to him again. “There was a bit of a clash of personalities. I just couldn’t accept the terms of my new job, to put it in a nutshell. Dad was devastated when I told him I’m not going to be this hotshot literary editor. But then he calmed down. It’ll take him a while to accept it, though.”
“I think he has other things on his mind right now.”
“Like what?”
“Shh.” Jonathan kissed my eyes, then my nose, his mouth finally coming to rest on mine. We kissed for a long time, until that soft mouth went down my neck and even further down. Gentle hands unbuttoned my shirt and Jonathan lay down beside me, easing my shirt and my trousers off while I was busy undressing him. Naked, we slid under the covers, while the cool wind fluttered the curtains and the rain started again, beating against the windows. We made love slowly, our hands and mouths discovering every part of each other’s bodies, murmuring, sighing, moving, softly moaning until we lay still catching our breaths.
I smiled, looking into Jonathan’s beautiful hazel eyes. “You’re very good.”
He smiled back. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”
I flung back the covers. “How about a shower?”
“Together?”
“Of course.” I got out of bed and held out my hand. “Come on.”
We stood in the bathtub while the warm water cascaded over us, soaping each other, and then stepped out, drying each other before we got back into bed. Outside, the clouds scattered and the skies cleared. The thin crescent of a new moon rose above the trees, and the evening star glinted in the darkening sky.
I looked out the window. “There’s a new moon. My mother always said that if you make a wish to the new moon it’ll come true.”
He pulled me close. “My wish already did.”
“Mine too.” I turned to look at him in the gloom. “What’ll happen now? With us?”
He kissed my shoulder. “I don’t know. Let’s just date for a while. Enjoy getting to know each other. Build a relationship. Make love often and have fun.”
I relaxed. “Good idea. We have plenty of time.” I traced the outline of his face with my finger. Being in bed with Jonathan was so different and new. He was the most considerate man I had ever made love with, my pleasure being as important as his own. Most men rushed things, only thinking of themselves, taking, never giving. With them, it had been just sex. With Jonathan, even this first time, it had been making love in the true sense of the word.
“Will you sleep with me?” I asked.
“I thought I just did.”
“I meant sleep-sleep. All night and then have breakfast together.”
He laughed softly and put his arms around me. “Sounds good. But I’m hungry. Did you have dinner?”
“No. I kind of forgot.” I suddenly felt my stomach rumble. “I haven’t got much in the fridge.”
“I have lamb cutlets and some veggies sitting on the counter in my kitchen. I could bake some spuds and it’d be enough for two. I was going to have dinner and then call you in London. I needed an explanation. I was wondering what was going on with you.”
“But now you know.”
“You explained it in the best possible way.”
I got out of bed and stretched. “Can you bring the food down here? I have a bottle of red somewhere. I’ll light a fire in the living room and we can eat there.”
Jonathan jumped out of bed and pulled on his jeans and shirt. “That’ll be grand. I won’t be a tick.”
I put on my dressing gown and busied myself with lighting the fire and opening the bottle of wine. Cat decided to honour us with her presence and settled on a cushion by the fireplace. “I think I’ve found the one,” I told her. “You know, the man I want to be with and who wants to be with me. He seems gentle, but he grabbed my heart so hard it hurt. In a good way, though. You know what I mean?”
Cat closed her eyes and started to purr. She understood and approved, she said in her unspoken way. I watched the flames flickering around the logs while I waited for Jonathan. We had come a long way in a short time. I only wished everything else was as easy to fix.
***
The next morning, as we were having breakfast, I had to make a few phone calls to get the staff started on the ploughing feature.
“Mary, will you get Dan going on the layout and get him to put all the photos in a file? I wrote up an article that’s to go with them, and you’ll find that in Dropbox in a file marked ‘ploughing.’ The adverts for the gardening firm and that other one with the cattle feed can go on the same page. Just draw up a rough draft, and we’ll finish it when I get there. And please tell Fidelma and Sinead to type in their reports immediately. No coffee breaks today, is that clear? Thanks a million, you’re a brick.” I hung up and smiled at Jonathan across the kitchen table. “Sorry. I just wanted to get things going so I don’t have to rush.” I lifted the teapot. “More tea?”
Jonathan laughed and pushed his cup toward me. “I’ve never seen you in action. You’re a tough old boot, aren’t you?”
I filled our cups. “In business maybe. But in private I’m a sweet little lamb.”
“So you are. But the tough businesswoman kind of turned me on.”
I had to laugh. “Really? Pity I can’t throw you on the floor and ravish you right now. But I have to go upstairs and get that magazine out.”
“I know. But could you hold that attitude until tonight?”
I winked. “I’ll do my best.” I felt a sudden dart of joy as I thought of our night together. This was only the beginning. It would get better and better, I was sure of that. “You’re unique,” I said. “Not many men are like you. I’m so glad I found you.”
“Me too.” Jonathan studied me for a moment with a hesitant look. “What about that guy? The one you were snogging that night? Sorry, but I need to know what went on there.”
I felt my face flush. “Nothing went on at all. Never did. Ever. That night I had too much to drink and was feeling—okay, randy. But I fought him off. You must have seen that too.”
“Yes, of course. But still...”
“And he was my boss. I’d never sleep with my boss in any case, even if he was Brad Pitt.” I reached across the table and took Jonathan’s hand. “Listen, Christopher Montgomery is a domineering prick who wants women to swoon at his feet. I admit he’s a very sexy man, but not the kind of man I’d like to have anything to do with. Please believe me.”
Jonathan kissed my hand. “I do. Sorry about that. But I needed to know.”
“Of course you did.” I sighed and poured myself another cup of tea. “I didn’t tell you the whole story, and I haven’t the time right now. But to put it in just a few words, he was trying to manipulate me to get me to dance to his tune. Politically, I mean. Jesus, I was such an eejit to be taken in by him.” I looked lovingly at Jonathan. “Thanks for rescuing me.”
“You’re welcome.” He finished his tea and got up, carrying the breakfast dishes to the sink. “I have to go, but I’ll wash up if you like.”
I waved him away. “Nah, it’s just a few cups and plates. I know you have to get going on that new project and then prepare your lecture for that university course. I’ll wash up.”
He nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight. What do you want to do?”
I winked. “I have a few ideas. But before that, maybe we could go and do that tour of Cahir Castle? I’m embarrassed that I’ve never actually visited it. But now that I have the best tour guide, I thought it would be a great opportunity.”
“It’s a date. I could even use my influence as a historian and get us in after they close. Then we can watch the sun set over the Galtee Mountains from the tower. How’s that?”
“Fantastic. Oh, and by the way,” I added as he was on his way out, “have you heard of this publishing outfit called The Jersean Group? It appears they might become my new bosses.”
He shrugged. “Not my area of expertise, I’m afraid.”
“I suppose.” I picked up my phone. “I’ll see if I can find them on Google. I tried before but found nothing.”
Google and other searches still came up with nothing. How odd. I was beginning to feel strange vibes. Politics creeping into country papers, Majella said. Were politicians hiding behind this new publishing group?