CHAPTER 12

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Recessional

Music and mess-making! It’s time for a moment so fun, even bald people let their hair down!

Recessional music should be alive, recognizable, and joyous. My favorite recessional, other than the dance party wedding where hundreds of balloons were released, was one where an undercover chorus arose from among the guests and sang beautiful gospel music that had everyone in a good mood. The chorus then formed an alley of their own, to serenade guests as they left the ceremonial area and headed to cocktail hour.

The music should be loud because people will be cheering; if the music is loud, the cheers will get louder.

Then it’s time to get that parade out of the ceremonial space.

The Couple

The couple has their dramatic, joyous kiss, lingers in the warm safety of each other’s embrace, kisses a few more times, retrieves a bouquet if necessary, then links arms and recesses to thunderous applause.

To make the photos even more exciting, it’s always a great idea to fill the air with rose petals, confetti, rice, ribbons, (couscous, string cheese, bologna), or bubbles as everyone recesses down the aisle, or whatever walkway you’ve invented. People love throwing things at other people.

It’s fun to form human gauntlets for the couple to pass under by having people from both sides of the aisle hold their hands above their heads and join fingertips with people across the aisle. Alternatively, an archway of palm fronds would be scenic. The Navy and Marine Corps make an Arch of Swords for the couple to pass through. (The Army makes an Arch of Sabers.) A limbo stick would be really fun, especially for a beach wedding. No matter what you would like to have happen among these options, your officiant should announce this request and explain the idea so guests are ready to take part: “You should have a little container of confetti at your seat; get that confetti ready, and when the couple walks down the aisle just forty-five seconds from now, pelt ’em with it!!!”

I think it would be great fun if the couple could recess by leaping off a stage of some sort and crowd-surfing like rock stars.

Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor

Usually, these two are the closest to the middle—they link arms and recess. No need to do anything special, just get out of there. At this point in the ceremony, we are in the divine stage of “leave ’em wanting more.”

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, Two by Two or As Needed

At this point, the bridesmaids and groomsmen from each side can pair up or triple up as needed in the middle, then recess. Sometimes, if the flower girls and ring bearers are old enough and game for it, you can make some fun recessing combos out of them and the Bs and Gs. Mix up the pairings. Tall groomsman/short flower girl? Love it. Little ring bearer with two gorgeous bridesmaids? Photo gold!!!

The idea of the recessional is to get everyone out of the ceremonial area, which is often also the reception area, so the staff can flip the room. Still, I am in favor of the recessional being dance-intensive, with everyone either free-styling it to some great music we all love (“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen, “Beautiful Day” by U2, “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince, “Happy” by Pharrell Davis, “Dancing Queen” by ABBA), or having the bridal party exit with some minor, manageable choreography. Theatrically, this should be a parade of joy, a group of Party Pied-Pipers leading the way to cocktail hour.

I attended a taping of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert once. During commercial breaks, Jean Batiste and his band, Stay Human, would wander, in a row, up and down the aisles in what he calls a “Love Riot.” They would keep playing and grooving as they walked, and it just made you want to join in and follow them wherever they would go. We didn’t, of course, because we were supposed to stick around to find out what the next guest was up to. (It was David Schwimmer; I haven’t seen him since.) If you have musicians who can walk with their instruments, this would be a fun way to guide the bridal party and guests to the cocktail hour.

And who can forget the scene in Love, Actually when the band arose from among the guests at Kiera Knightley’s character’s wedding early in the movie to play “All You Need is Love”? What’s that? You did forget that scene? Oh. Well, yeah, this happened. It was Cute, Actually.

And this marks the end of the ceremony. Twenty to twenty-five minutes after it began, it’s over, done, kaput, finito. The cocktail hour is just beginning. The guests should be abuzz with what they just witnessed. Everybody loves you for taking the time to work with the person performing your ceremony to make it unique.

Congratulations! You did it!

Now, go be married people.