As she neared the barn his perturbed voice grew louder. Just outside the large wooden doors she could finally make out what he said.
“Come out of there, you son of a bitch.”
She peeked through an opening between two boards.
He stood on top of the hay bales, shirtless, a pitchfork raised high above his head. Sweat trickled down the muscles of his back and his arms flexed as he shifted slowly along the top of the bales, eyes riveted to a spot below him, mouth set in a firm line.
She clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. What in the world…?
“Come on. Just let me know where you are.” He jumped back suddenly and yelled, driving the pitchfork into the hay before he stumbled back against a beam. His chest heaved with the exertion and Miya couldn’t take her eyes from the rippling lines of his taut stomach.
She was going to call out, but he jumped back with a loud yelp and tumbled down the back of the hay bales. Landing with a resounding thud, he scurried to his feet and cautiously looked around the side. “Shit!”
Unable to contain her laughter any longer, she stepped from behind the door. “What in the world are you doing?”
He swung around in her direction, pushing a hand through his hair. “Family of snakes.” He shrugged and walked in her direction. “Damn things are gonna be the death of me.”
Miya pursed her lips in mock disgust. “I figured you would have conquered that fear by now.” Snakes never really bothered her, but she looked around at the hay-littered floor to make sure none were slithering anywhere near her feet.
He watched the floor carefully and growled. “You get over spiders?”
Ugh. “Of course,” she bluffed. “We’re grown adults now.”
He pulled his shirt off an old nail and brushed the hay off the plaid fabric before slipping it on. He didn’t bother with the buttons, and the shirt hung open, shifting with his movements to reveal enticing sections of his abs as he neared. “Then it won’t bother you much that you walked past a hatching of orbweavers over the door?”
Miya shot away from the door instinctually. When his laughter stopped her, she spun around to glare at him. “That was cold.”
“Serves you right.” It took him several long moments to get his laughter in check, and even if she wanted to throttle him, she couldn’t help but join in.
When a snake slithered around a bale of hay out of his sight, she smiled. “I’d tell you one of your critters is making its way toward you, but I don’t think you’d believe me.”
He shrugged, more in control now. “My manhood can’t take another blow like that, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you.”
“We were at Ned Jensen’s birthday.” The memory came back with a flash of nostalgia. “That was the first time I realized you were scared of snakes.”
“Not scared,” he corrected. “I just don’t like things that slither.”
He said the last word with a tiny shiver that was so endearing, she smiled. “I don’t know how you do it, but when we’re together like this, it’s like the years never passed.”
“Yeah, I feel the same. Feels like yesterday when you walked away.” He met her gaze, all teasing gone. “And you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want anything else to do with me. So, fun moment aside, what are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.”
“Before you say goodbye again?”
“No.” She would have said more, but he held up a hand to stall her.
“I’m not up for another of your rollercoaster-emotion sessions. If I can’t have you for real, I don’t want you.”
She stopped, struck by his abrupt statement. She’d rarely heard him so—matter-of-fact—and it was such a stark contrast from moments before, her nervousness returned with a vengeance. His voice was so low, so—defeated. It took considerable willpower not to run out of the barn. She could go back to New York, forget anything ever happened…
Oh, who was she trying to kid? She could move to Alaska, Antarctica even, and she’d never stop thinking about him or the life they’d planned. She’d taken what she’d thought was the easy way out once. Now it was time to take the damned hard-brick road.
“First off,” she paused, looking for the right way to ask. “How is your momma?”
“Better. It’s a daily battle.” The question seemed to take him off his feet. “She’ll never come home though.”
“I’m sorry.” It was such an overused platitude, but she didn’t know what else to say. “I should have asked before now. She was always good to me.”
He chuckled, but the sound was hollow. “She loved you.”
She turned away and said the only thing she could say. “I was wrong.”
“About what?” The soft crunch of straw under his feet told her he came closer.
“Everything.” She sighed. “For leaving, for being selfish, for forgetting to ask after your momma. For everything.”
His hand smoothed over her shoulder and tugged gently. She turned to meet his intense gaze. The green of his eyes sparkled. “What do you mean?”
“I was young, foolish, and I ran without giving you, or my family, or your family a chance. Hell, I don’t know if I would have believed you then, or listened to anyone anyway.” She shook her head, fighting the tears that burned at her eyes.
He drew her close. His body was warm and strong, and it felt so good to be in his arms. “When you left, I got angry that you didn’t believe in us. By the time I realized you’d learned about Susan, it was too late. Too much time had passed. I never would have done anything to hurt you, Mi. Not intentionally.”
“I know. I think I’ve always known, I was just—I dealt with it the wrong way. I could blame some of my rash behavior on the pregnancy but I think it was mostly stupid pride. You were right when you said I wanted out. I didn’t want to become my mother, whose life revolved around the man she loved. I wanted you.” She paused, searching for the right words to explain how she’d felt. “But I wanted more too. Susan was an out I grasped desperately. I know that now. Back then, all I could think about was how much I loved you and our baby, and how that love would keep me bound to Dead End. I wasn’t ready to let go of my dreams to travel.”
“I would have been there for our child, you know.” Emotion thickened his voice. “I was so in love with you. I’d never imagined my life without you. I would have made every one of your dreams come true, just to have you by my side.”
“So much time wasted.” She buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I was too proud to come back and admit that I might have made a mistake.”
“I wanted to come after you. But I didn’t. I was hurt. Mad at myself, at you, at the world.” He stepped back to meet her gaze. “I should have found you then and made you understand.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Not then.” She reached up, placing a hand on each of his cheeks. “Only two days had passed when I miscarried. If you would have found me like that, I never would have accepted your support. I spent several years blaming our child’s death on myself, and on you. It was unfair of me. And I’m so very sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. For everything. For lost time and for what you went through alone. I should have told you about Susan.” He turned into her touch, kissing her palm. “My way of thinking is, unless you have a magic rewind button in your pocket, we can’t undo the past. But I don’t want any more doubt. Whether we’re together or not, I need you to know the truth. Let’s go talk to Susan. I’m sure, after all this time, she’ll—”
She placed her fingers over his lips. “I don’t need Susan to tell me what I already know. I’m sorry I left you and for the horrible things I said to you in anger. I’m sorry about the loss of our baby and for not telling you.”
“It hurts. Knowing I wasn’t part of that joy or loss,” he rasped. “I’ve thought about it since the moment you told me. How different things might have turned out if you hadn’t miscarried. At first, I got angry. I wondered if you ever would have told me.”
“I had planned to.” She just hadn’t thought of the how or the when. “Then I lost the baby and it became a moot point.”
“You know I always wanted kids. Hell, we’d talked about having four. We were young then, maybe too young for anything we’d planned.” He shook his head. “You weren’t thinking very highly of me at that time, but I would have stepped up. You know that, right?”
“I do. I knew it then too,” she admitted. “Maybe that was part of the fear. You would have been a wonderful father, and there was no way I could have taken a baby away from you, or left my child to chase my dreams.”
“You were pretty stuck.”
God it would be easy to fall into his gift of understanding, and take the easy road. Not this time. “No. I was selfish. I’m sorry for the time I took from us. I’m even sorry for wasting the time we’ve had since I came home. I needed time to process what I felt, what I believed and what I want. It wasn’t fair to you, but it was the only way I knew to deal with everything I was feeling.”
“And?”
“I want you.” She took a slow breath. “I probably don’t deserve another chance, but I want to try again.”
“Are you sure?” His hand closed over hers. “Because I don’t think I could take losing you again. I can’t have doubts between us. I need to know that you believe I never did anything with Susan—”
She stopped him there. “There’s no more doubt. I ran away to see the big bad world and found nothing remarkable. Nothing that was worth losing you. I didn’t listen then, when I should have, and I hope you’ll learn from my mistake. I’m hoping you’ll hear me now.” Her heart raced. “I never stopped loving you, Shawn Dalton. Not for a moment.”
He stared at her, and then with a loud whoop, he picked her up and kissed her, swinging her in circles. When he set her back down her head was spinning. “I always hoped you’d come home to me.”
“It just took me a while to figure out which direction I needed to go.”
“You always were kinda stubborn.”
The teasing twinkle in his eyes was just another trait she’d missed about this man. “I had to be. Hell, dating you was hard work.”
His eyebrows scrunched and he tugged her close. “How so? I thought I was pretty easy to please.”
“Easy?” she scoffed. “You were perfect. Do you have any idea how hard it was to be with someone so perfect? Handsome, sweet and kind to a fault. Fucking amazing in bed, and brilliant, to boot. Even my folks loved you. Hell, I never had anything to contribute when my girlfriends had bitch sessions.”
“You’re not making a very strong case for leaving.”
“Never had one.” She hugged him close. “No one and nothing out there ever compared to you.”
He laughed and scuffed his knuckles over his chest in a mock display of pride. “Men outside this town couldn’t hold a candle to this homegrown country boy, could they?”
“Braggart,” she quipped, enjoying the hot, male scent of his skin as much as his teasing. “But true.”
She received another heady kiss that set her blood to instant boil and when his hands began roaming over her body, she gave over to his touch without hesitation. His mouth wandered, nipping lightly along her jaw and neck as he whispered against her skin, “If you ever doubt me again, don’t take so long to figure it out next time.”
“No next time.” She curved her hands into his hair, tangling her fingers in the soft waves. Holding him tight, she breathed him in, afraid to let go and wake from the dream he’d wrapped around them. “No more stupid decisions,” she vowed.
He sank to his knees and buried his face against her stomach. His hands moved around to her back, pressing her close. “Oh, I’m certain we’ll make those too. Just promise me from here on out, we’ll always discuss things first.”
“I promise.” She smiled down at him, realizing she’d never meant anything more.
“Good.” His hands trailed over her ass to the backs of her thighs. When his fingers encountered her garter ribbons, he glanced up. “What are you wearin’?”
“Just a little something to help convince you to take me back.”
“Mmmmm. I like these.” He snapped one of the ribbons attached to her thigh-high stockings. “But you could have worn a gunnysack and I’d have taken you back.”
“Aren’t you worried about the snakes?” Not that she cared at the moment with his heated hands and equally hot mouth doing such yummy things to her body.
He glanced away, scanning the hay bales nearby. “They’re a bunch of harmless brown snakes, but you’re right. Let’s find somewhere a bit more comfortable.” Without warning he scooped her up into his arms and carried her from the barn.
“You can put me down. I’m pretty sure I can walk.” Even as she said it, she hoped he wouldn’t. There was something wildly passionate about his strong arms holding her so effortlessly. He’d always made her feel safe, protected, feminine.
He took the porch steps two at a time and used his foot to swing the screen door open. “No way. I’m not giving you a moment to change your mind.”
She hated the doubt she’d put in his head and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Damn right you’re not.” He let her slide down his body with a low growl. “As a matter of fact, you’d better call your momma and tell her you won’t be home for a couple of days. I have every intention of keeping you here and making love to you until you can’t think straight.” He cupped her ass, his fingers working one of her ribbons free.
“I told Momma I was coming to see you,” she admitted. “I don’t think she’s expecting me back anytime soon.”
“Good girl.” He dragged his fingers over the sensitive skin at the curve of her ass while his lips scorched a path down her throat.
Incredible sensation raced through her body. She couldn’t tell if it was his touch or his words that caused the reaction. Maybe it was the knowledge that he still wanted her. After not trusting him and walking away, she was lucky he even spoke to her. She needed him to know that she understood, and that she was grateful for this chance.
“You’ve forgiven me way too easy.” She pushed one finger against his chest until he backed away. “Let me at least show you how I planned to apologize.”
“You don’t need to apologize, baby.”
“Yes I do.” His breathing was harsh, desire darkening his gaze to sapphire. “Sit.”
He complied, settling into the chair behind him. His body was taut, his arousal easily defined strained against the fabric of his jeans. Turning away, she unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall to the floor. With a slight wiggle of her hips, the skirt followed. The light blue silk of her body glove caressed her skin, its erotic touch fueling her need. She knew without looking that his eyes traveled over every curve of her body.
She turned slowly to face him. She wanted to see his expressions, wanted to experience his desire for her through his reactions. Each tiny clasp of her bodice popped free as she moved her fingers down the long row. His eyes followed her fingers’ movements, and he shifted in the chair, hands gripping at the armrests rhythmically.
Exhilarated, she moved closer, slowly. Heat ran through her body like warm water, pooling in her belly, dampening the lace thong that teased her sensitized flesh with every step. She pulled the straps off her shoulder and the silky material dropped lower, catching on her distended nipples.
When she moved within reach, he shifted forward in the chair and ran his hand up the back of her thigh. With firm pressure, he lifted her leg. Placing her foot on the chair next to his knee, he trailed heated kisses over the stocking covering her leg, unsnapping the garter ribbons to remove the article with slow deliberation. His mouth burned a meticulous path, so hot, so sweet.
“Come here.” He punctuated the words by sliding a finger under her thong and along her wet center. Dividing her slick folds, he pushed his middle finger into her throbbing channel.
She cried out as waves of pleasure shot through her. Then his thumb pressed against her clit and her legs weakened. “Shawn.”
He smiled up at her. “Apology accepted. I want you, baby. Now.”
“Not just yet.” It took extreme effort to move away from his touch, but she shifted back and dropped to her knees. This was her apology and she’d planned each step in her mind. She wasn’t about to let him take control of the situation…until she was ready. Sliding her hands up his concrete thighs, she unbuckled his belt and tugged it free. She kissed his chest, lapping at his pebble-hard nipples in turn as she freed the buttons on his jeans. The hot, salty taste of his skin infused her mouth, and she moaned against his rapid heartbeat.
He shifted, letting her tug his pants down, and she inhaled deeply as his cock sprang free. It slid smooth along her cleavage as she worked his jeans the rest of the way down and tossed them aside. When she looked up, his eyes were closed, his head tipped back against the cushion. The way he arched his hips up from the seat spoke volumes about what he craved. And she was all about what he needed.
Rubbing her breasts along the entire length of his cock, she pressed them tightly, jerking up and down until he reached for her. His lips found hers and he guided her up to straddle his hips. He was wild then, hunger burning evident in every movement. He delved into her mouth with his tongue, possessing her, demanding more.
“Condom,” she breathed.
He nodded, his eyelids heavy. “Wallet.”
She fumbled with his discarded pants and found the wallet. Tact fled. All that mattered was having him. Her body was on fire. She wanted to feel him inside her and she shifted back so she could reach him, tearing the foil wrapper with her teeth. Unrolling the thin barrier, she covered him slowly, enjoying the way his body tensed under her touch.
“Damn,” he panted. “You’re killing me here.”
“That’s the idea.” She felt the same way. She didn’t want to play anymore. Shifting, she settled herself on his cock, taking just the head before his fingers bit into her hips, refusing to let her take more.
“Wait. Look at me. I still love you, Mi.” Her core clenched, and he moaned in response. “I want you so bad right now it hurts. But I want all of you, not just this.”
Tears burned at the corners of her eyes. She’d made so many mistakes. From thinking life outside of Dead End would be better, to hurting the only man she’d ever loved. But no more. Today she’d start setting the past to rights. “I’m not going anywhere this time. No more running.”
It was all the motivation he seemed to need. His fingers curved around the back of her neck, pulling her flush against him for a sweet, powerful kiss. “Good.”
The contact was almost as powerful as the overwhelming sensation as he entered her. He went slowly, bringing her down with excruciating ease until she felt too full, too stretched by the sheer size of him.
Then he held her there. Her body molded to his, shards of pleasure-pain racking her until she drenched him with her need. His words were hot against her skin when he spoke. “Tell me you love me.”
She bit back a sob. It was all so intense. His possession, the look in his eyes, the need raging through her. Yes, she loved him. He pumped into her several times, only to bury himself inside her again and wait. “Tell me.”
She let her head fall back and luxuriated in the sensations coursing through her. He wanted to make her say it, and she wanted nothing more than to say it. But this strong man possessed her already, and she was going to reap the benefits of his play for power.
She leaned forward, quickening the pace on his cock until he groaned and thrust upwards. She bit his earlobe then sucked away any pain she’d caused before whispering, “Make me tell you.”
He growled and lifted her from the seat. Keeping his cock buried deep inside her, he walked them toward the bedroom. Halfway down the hall, he slammed her back against the wall, pumping up into her with long hard strokes. His body moved in such perfect rhythm that she felt the first waves of an orgasm tighten. She gripped his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist, begging him not to stop. But he did.
He pulled out, almost completely, the head of his cock barely breaching her opening. He rocked his hips quickly so his cock slid along her folds but didn’t come into her. “Are you ready to tell me now?”
She shook her head, unable to hide a smile. “No.”
“You will.” Without giving her a chance to respond, he slid her back down onto his cock and walked the rest of the way to the bedroom. Collapsing on top of her on the soft bed, he gave no quarter, bringing her close to orgasm, so that her body tightened and bucked beneath him. Then he stopped again. “Tell me.”
Miya panted—she couldn’t take any more. “I love you, Shawn.”
She was rewarded with a flurry of sharp, deep thrusts that stoked the raging fire inside her to an inferno. He sucked at her nipples, nipping to the point of pain. “Say it again,” he rasped.
“I love you. I always have. Always will.”
With a deep growl, he plunged into her, rocking his hips fast and hard, giving her exactly what she wanted, what she needed to end the exquisite torture. She cried as the pulses of the orgasm gripped every muscle. It burned a path up through her spine and made her legs shake. Instinct had her arched up off the bed to receive every last thrust he offered.
Shawn’s ragged yell matched hers, and she felt the swell of his cock as they reached the pinnacle together. The intensity of his release extended her own, drawing on the last spasms rocking her core until she didn’t think she could take any more.
When her breathing slowed, she ran her fingers down his back. His arms tightened around her and she kissed the sweat-damp skin of his neck. Bracing his elbows alongside her head, he met her gaze.
The lightest brush of his lips moved over her brow. “It’s so good to have you home again.”
“I’m not scared of this life anymore. It’s what was always waiting for me. I guess I just had to see some of the not-so-fantastic world and come home to you before I realized what I really wanted.”
He rolled her until they were side by side, keeping her close. “And?”
“You are what I want, Shawn.” A tear pushed its way free and slid down her cheek. “It will always be you that will bring me home.”
“That’s my girl.”