The basement is mostly Dad’s area for his music—other than when Mom does laundry. Autographed memorabilia from acts the band opened for cover the walls. His bass guitar sits in a stand beside the theater system, which houses all his music equipment for practicing.
Duane and I sit at opposite ends of the plaid couch. He’s a germophobe. Although it’s never bothered me before, right now I wish I could hug him to let him know just how much I care for him.
Suitcases and boxes belonging to Duane and his agents are scattered everywhere. When Mom and Dad said he and the team would be staying here, I hoped it would be just for the night. But now I doubt it.
“So why are you really here?” I ask. It comes out harsher than I want, but after today, I just don’t have the patience to tiptoe.
He smirks. It’s the first time he’s shown any expression other than sadness since midway through dinner.
“Didn’t buy the budget cuts story?”
I chuckle. “Not a chance. So . . .”
His smirk vanishes. His intelligent brown eyes rake me over.
“All right,” he says. “Tell me the difference between a mass murder and a serial killer.”
The words flow off my tongue, having memorized them. “A mass murder kills a lot of people, usually at one time. A serial killer kills at least three people, but with some time in between the victims.”
He’s drilled the definitions into my head so often, I remember it better than my locker combination. Each camping trip, he brings along several files and makes me profile them. The better I do, the easier he will go on me the next day during training. After all the years, I’ve gotten the hang of it now.
“Good,” he says. “When we talked on Saturday, do you remember me mentioning my current case?”
I sit up straighter. His case is MJ’s case. When we talked that morning, he warned me to be cautious of strangers.
“I remember. What about it?”
“I think in this situation, it would be easier if I showed you.” He stands and waits for me to do the same. “There’s something in the guest room you need to see.”
He heads for the room, but I don’t follow.
“Wait,” I say.
He stills, his back to me. “What?”
“There’s something I need to ask. You know things—things about MJ. How?”
Silence is his only reply. My head swirls, trying to understand why he’s hesitating. He’s always told me the truth—never sheltered me from anything. Whatever it is, it must be huge.
He finally turns, staring at the carpet.
Dread pools in my stomach.
Then he looks up, tears threatening to spill. “I’m dead, Maddy.”
Suddenly I feel as if I’ve been transplanted to another country. I know he just said something to me, but his words won’t register. They’re foreign.
“Shut up.” The words force out with my exhale. “Just . . . shut up. You’re not . . . you can’t be. I know you. I—”
“I died during the Second World War,” he interrupts. “I was given the option to join the Protectors. I still had some fight left in me, so I agreed.”
I back away, shaking my head and plugging my ears like a child. Duane waits, watching me. I know the look on his face. It’s the same look he wore when he told me I was adopted.
He’s telling the truth.
He’s the same as MJ. MJ knew, the whole time, and he kept it from me.
I slowly remove my hands from my ears as tears slide down my cheeks.
“Protecting people came naturally,” Duane continues. “It didn’t take long before I received my first solo assignment. My Charge was a few years older than you. She was being tormented by a Marer—a demon who communicates with its victims through nightmares. It tortured her with images of her family and friends dying. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw them.”
He frowns. “She was losing her grip on reality and considering taking her life. I banished the demon to the City of the Damned, but I couldn’t bring myself to return to Immortal City as I was ordered.
“My mortal upbringing was still fresh in my mind, and I wanted to look after her. I could—and did—compel her mind to forget what happened to her. But you can’t compel a heart. The pain of continually watching her loved ones die, even if in dreams, left its mark on her. I feared what she would do in my absence. So I stayed until she was well. During that time, she fell in love with me.”
Inside, I feel as if every memory, every experience, is being sliced into a million pieces. I’m too numb to feel the pain, but I know I’m bleeding.
“She talked of marriage and having a family. Marriage is one thing, but a family—that was something I couldn’t fake, even if I wanted to.”
He pauses long enough so I look at him. He meets my gaze.
“Angels and demons can’t have families. We’re dead, and dead things can’t make life. Not anymore, at least.”
Thunder rumbles and my legs wobble, threatening to give out. This goes beyond Duane. This is about me. I may be young and new to relationships, but I’ve always known I want to be a mother someday. I’ve known that I want to give my child the love my birth parents never gave me.
But no matter what kind of future I may have with MJ, he can’t give me that.
“Do you want me to stop?” Duane asks.
I take a deep breath—burying my pain—then shake my head. As difficult as it is, I may not have another chance to hear the truth.
“I left her—my Charge—and tried to return to Immortal City. I couldn’t. I had disobeyed my orders by staying here too long. I was an outcast, with an automatic sentence to the City of the Damned if caught. And they’re especially cruel to former angels down there.”
I fight a shudder, remembering the screams of torture I’ve heard.
“I went into hiding, drifting along for many years. Occasionally I came across others who were stuck here like me. They showed me how to stay hidden from both sides. I’ve been fairly successful . . . until this week. But I want you to know something, Maddy. I will gladly take on any risk, including challenging my former leader”—he glances up the stairs—“to protect you.”
I turn, thinking it means someone is coming downstairs. The door is closed. I let out a relieved breath. I was worried it was MJ.
My heart flinches as suddenly the pieces fall into place. Duane was a Protector.
MJ was Duane’s leader.
I think back to every interaction between them. MJ wasn’t uncomfortable or afraid of him because he was my uncle and an FBI agent. MJ hates him because he’s an outcast angel.
After another minute of silence, Duane continues. “I tried to make the most of my life as an outcast. I eventually decided to date again as a way to blend in. I kept low-key jobs and moved every couple of years. That changed when I met you.”
I turn away, not wanting to look at him.
“I’d been dating your aunt Deb for a few months when you came into my life,” he says. “I heard your cries even before the doorbell rang. I got to the door first, but the street was empty. And there you were, crying in the rain on Dean and Marie’s steps. I picked you up, and instantly I knew you weren’t a normal baby. A flood of emotions rushed into me, nearly bringing me to my knees. Everything I’d forgotten, everything I’d lost, came back. I tried to figure out why, but none of my abilities worked—”
“I know about my abilities,” I cut in.
I hug myself, rubbing my arms, and I feel something cold on my wrist. I look down at the rainbow-gem bracelet. As upset as I am to learn—again—that MJ has kept information from me, I suddenly wish he were here. I don’t want to face this alone.
“I had to keep you close,” Duane says. “I planted thoughts in Dean’s and Marie’s minds of adopting you. I actually didn’t need to do much—they loved you the moment they held you. I married Deb so I could stay close to you—watch over you. I even got a job with the FBI to make sure you stayed off everyone’s radar.”
I keep my head turned, but I ask, “Whose radar?”
“Mortals’ and immortals’. As I said, everyone’s.”
“So am I supposed to thank you, then?”
“You don’t owe me anything, Maddy. We only want to keep you safe.”
At that, I turn. “Who’s ‘we’?”
His eye twitches. “There are others.”
“Who?” I press.
He looks away. “I’m sorry, Maddy. But that’s something I cannot tell you.”
“So you’re keeping me in the dark too? But I guess you always have, haven’t you?”
“I didn’t want to keep my secret from you,” he says. “But when you were a baby, you felt my essence, just as you do now with MJ. You were addicted to it for a while. I knew one day you’d be old enough to ask why a hug or touch from me was different than one from someone else. That’s why I hid behind the lie of being a germophobe all these years—so I wouldn’t ever touch you again.”
Hundreds of responses gather on my tongue, fighting to be said. I want to lash out at him. I want to demand he leave the house, leave my family, and never return. But it would be a waste. He wouldn’t leave.
I stare into his once-familiar brown eyes. “I trusted you.”
“Everything I’ve done was to protect you.” He shakes his head. “Despite my best efforts, though, it wasn’t enough. I should have stopped him. The others should have told me he was here.”
I feel a strange desire to laugh. After all that, he stills wants to act like an uncle who’s concerned about his niece’s boyfriend.
“MJ’s good. He won’t hurt—”
“I mean the demon responsible for the markings on your arm.”
My left hand moves, covering them. Still the memories creep back. No matter what I do or how much time passes, there will always be a part of me that never escaped that house. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was. But it’s one mistake I will not make again. Which brings me back to the original reason for our discussion.” He nods to the guest bedroom. “Come with me.”
I take a step back.
His frown deepens. “You have nothing to fear from me, Maddy.”
I hold myself tighter as he walks into the bedroom. I glance at the stairs. Somewhere up there, MJ is waiting for me. We’ve already been apart for so long today. But every time we are, I discover more and more information MJ hasn’t told me.
My gaze turns to the guest bedroom door. In that room lies secrets about Duane, about MJ, about Justin. Perhaps even about me. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear them, but I don’t think I have a choice now.
Knowing MJ kept the truth about Duane from me has me questioning everything. And like it or not, Duane is the only one who won’t protect me from the truth.
I have to go in there.