Chapter Forty-One

MJ

It’s not even five o’clock in the morning when Alexander and I enter Maddy’s room in the Veil of Shadows. I’m filled with trepidation, and not just because the night was so disastrous. I have no idea what awaits me when she wakes. Are we still over? Does she hate me? Will she send me away?

“I’m glad you’re back,” Tamitha whispers, even though Maddy can’t hear us. “I nearly called for you a moment ago.”

“Why? What happened?” I move to Maddy’s bedside with her and Alexander following. I scan over her, but she seems to be sleeping peacefully.

“She was sweating again and had a mild fever,” Tamitha says, “but otherwise I saw no signs of duress. Then a few moments ago her heart raced. But then it returned to normal. She rolled over, and now she seems fine.”

Tamitha looks at me with pleading eyes. “I don’t understand why she has these dreams, but we need to make them stop. Even with a relatively ‘mild’ dream like this, it can’t be good for her body to go through so much in such a short time.”

“I don’t know how to stop it,” I say with a resigned sigh. “Maddy believes the dreams will end soon—once she’s seen everything the Dream Girl wants her to. I hope she’s right.”

“Did time away help you?” Tamitha asks.

Alexander cuts her a look before moving away.

My shoulders slump. “Not as much as I would have liked.”

Tamitha nods, then moves over by Alexander as they give me some space alone with Maddy.

Of all the things that transpired during our time away, the Council’s knowledge of my “psychic” perturbs me the most. They weren’t happy with the vague answers I gave them, both verbally and mentally. They’ll want her identification soon, and I may not be able to hide the truth from them. If they summon me again, I won’t answer. I won’t expose her. If they summon me again, we’ll have no choice but to run.

Maddy nestles into her pillow. I crouch down, watching her. While the night wasn’t a big success, it did allow me time to focus on what’s really important—us.

My friends can help me keep her safe, but I’m the only one who can fix our relationship.

I think back to last night and the things she and I said. She told me she was done with all of this. She just wanted to be normal right now.

Suddenly an idea grows.

“Maddy wants to feel normal,” I repeat, this time out loud as my thoughts come.

“She was angry,” Alexander says.

“She didn’t mean it,” Tamitha adds.

“She did,” I say. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. Her whole world has been turned upside down. Maybe if I give her a normal day, it can help her find her footing.”

I look between them, hoping they understand. It’s risky, given everything going on. But she needs this. We need this.

They’re silent—deep in thought.

Then Tamitha says, “That could work.”

Alexander nods. “We’ll help. What do you need from us?”

I take a deep breath. For the first time in days, I feel a sense of relief from it. “Take over my Protector duties. Just for the day. Alexander, be alert for the Influencer. Tamitha, keep a close eye on the Shadowwalker. Have Sissy continue protecting Amber. Give Maddy and me the day to just be a couple. Let me take her to school so she can be with her friends. She needs them as much as I need you. I’ll figure the rest out as I go.”

Maddy stirs.

“Go relieve Sissy and inform her of the plan,” I say as I keep my eyes on Maddy. “I’ll meet up with you all at school.”

“Good luck,” Tamitha says.

They disappear, leaving me to face the uncertainty of my relationship.

Standing here watching Maddy on the verge of waking feels awkward. She explicitly told me she didn’t want me hovering over her in the Veil. I move into the hallway, do a quick check to make sure the rest of her family is still asleep, then step out of the Veil.

When I hear her yawn, I take a deep breath and knock.

“Who is it?” she asks on the downturn of another yawn.

I swallow my fears. “It’s MJ,” I answer in a voice as neutral as possible. I hope she won’t send me away.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait for a response.

Finally, I hear footsteps coming toward the door. She opens it. She places one hand on the doorframe and the other on the door, blocking my entrance.

Everything inside me clenches.

I look up, expecting to see anger. But instead, wide green eyes slide up and down my body. Her lips twitch, fighting a smile. She pushes the door open and steps to the side.

“Might as well come in.”

My lips part enough to release my breath. She’s never quite looked at me like that. Angry or not, apparently she still likes what she sees.

I enter her room, and she shuts the door behind me. My essence jolts and my senses sharpen, feeding off the tension in the atmosphere. Even though I’m in her room and we’re both safe, my body is reacting as if a demon were in here. I glance at her bracelet still on her dresser, just to be sure. No stones are black.

“I know you have called the shots lately,” she says, “but today will be different.”

I turn, startled by her assertiveness. She’s still mad, but at least she’s speaking to me.

“We’ll do whatever you want,” I reply.

She tilts her head, gazing at me for a moment, then she smiles. “I want to run and feel the wind on my skin. I want to watch the sunrise and hear the world awaken. I want to have breakfast with Dean, Marie, and Hannah. Then I wish to go to school and see the triplets, Luke and Mason, Shawn, and Kelli.” She nods to herself. “Yes, that is it.”

I blink, confused. That’s what she’s done every day, especially since I’ve been around. Why does she think that’s any different? Then again, it’s perfect. That’s exactly what I had in mind for this “normal” day I want to give her.

Now isn’t the time to argue or question her, however. “Consider it done,” I say.

Her smile widens and her eyes sparkle, practically illuminating the dimly lit room.

Muscles inside me loosen as my fear, doubt, grief, and pain vanish. Her eyes are magnets pulling me toward her. She owns me, heart and soul. Inside my chest, I feel a thump that echoes through me. It does it again and again as my heart restarts.

I step toward her, my arms reaching out to hold her so she can feel the power she has over me. But her smile disappears, the light fades, and she steps back.

My heart falls silent once more. It’s too soon. She’s not ready.

“Maddy I . . . I’m sorry. For last night. For everything. Please . . . forgive me.”

She stares at me a long while, her eyes moving all over me again. She bites her lip, then slowly slides her tongue over her teeth.

I inhale sharply as I feel movement hit me in the nether region. The room seems to be boiling. A bead of water runs down my neck. I’m sweating. Visions flash in my mind’s eye of us together. This time we do more than kiss. My palms ache, wanting to caress her skin and act on my thoughts.

No.

Not yet.

I don’t even know if we’re still together. Nothing makes sense right now.

“We will discuss last night,” she says, lifting a narrow brow. “But not now. The list of things I want to do is long, and I am unsure how long I have before something tragic happens.”

Before I can say a word, she saunters past me into the bathroom.
 

.  .  .

 
The first thing on this “list” of hers is a run in the park at dawn. I barely take my eyes off her as we run side by side. She gazes over everything in wide wonder, as if she were memorizing it. She’s lived here most of her life and seen this all before, but the way she’s looking at everything . . . I can’t take it.

Back in her room, she spoke of something tragic happening. Was it related to her dream? I don’t know. But she knows something I don’t. Something is happening. Whatever’s coming, it’s my fault she’s not ready. I should have been training her to fight, just like she said. I wanted to protect her, but I’ve left her vulnerable.

“How about we stop and work on your abilities for a bit?”

I know this goes against the “normal” day I wanted for her, but I have to do something.

“It would not do any good now,” she says without slowing her stride. “Tomorrow, though, you should do that.”

I fall back as both my mind and body slow with confusion. She’s not herself this morning. She’s overcome with joy—and passion—one moment, then full of doom the next.

She stops on the bridge as I catch up. She leans on the railing and stares at the treetops, eagerly awaiting the sunrise. I stand behind her, watching her face light up with the first few inches of bright golden rays.

A tear falls down her cheek.

I watch the sky for her echoed rain, but it doesn’t come. Has Maddy figured out how to control that ability, or is this still a by-product of last night?

“It is so beautiful,” she whispers. “Promise me, MJ, that you will never stop watching the sun rise and fall.”

“I . . . I promise.”

These are the words of someone who doesn’t expect to survive today.

Once the sun has fully risen, she turns to me, wearing that same breathtaking smile from earlier. “Okay. Now I will return home to shower. Then I will have breakfast with my family.”

Seeing her smile, I reach for her hand, but she pulls it back again. I feel a twinge of sadness—she hasn’t let me touch her all morning. I would think that means she’s still upset with me. She seems happy, though—the sky is clear. Either I’m missing something, or she’s doing an amazing job masking her emotions. I shouldn’t have taught her that.

I shove aside my own pain and instead focus on her. “Maddy, if something was going to happen to you, you’d tell me, right?”

“I hope so. If anyone could stop it, it would be you.” With that, she turns and casually strolls to her home. I follow, pondering her choice of words.

I watch her through breakfast. The room is packed with Maddy, me, Maddy’s family, plus the Shadowwalker and his team.

Everyone eyes Maddy with curiosity. She’s more affectionate, hugging and touching her family—though she still refuses to let me or the Shadowwalker touch her. Not only that, but she’s wearing a dress—a tight, short dress. She looks good. Sexy, actually. I can’t deny it. But it’s just . . . not her.

I can hear her family’s thoughts. There’s some concern—especially from her father—about the dress. They think, of course, her wardrobe choice is meant to impress me, and they’re not too happy about that. At the same time, they are happy about the positive change in her attitude. They’re not sure if it’s Maddy blossoming on her own or if it’s a sign of her happiness with me. Either way, they like having “Old Maddy” back—the Maddy who existed prior to that trip with the Shadowwalker three years ago.

I glance in his direction.

What’s going on? he asks. He’s been frowning since Maddy bounded down the stairs to breakfast.

I’m working on it, I reply.
 

. .  .

 
At school, I follow slowly behind as Maddy makes a mad dash for her friends as soon as we’re through the doors. Still affectionate with everyone but me, she hugs each of them as she calls out their names. It’s as if she hasn’t seen them in a long time.

“Whoa,” Kelli says. “Who the hell are you, and what have you done to my best friend?”

I believe she’s joking. But as I listen to their thoughts and watch their incredulous faces, I can’t help but worry. For them to sense it too . . .

Kelli does a circle around Maddy, her mouth open the whole time. “You look frickin’ hot! I love your dress—I’m so jealous.”

My mind is bombarded with the thoughts and images of Maddy in the other students’ minds. She has the attention of everyone in here. Normally that would bother her, but she’s basking in it.

Several of her male classmates are concentrating on Maddy’s legs and what is beneath her dress. I don’t need to be a mind reader to know what they’re thinking. I shoot icy glares around the room to ward them off, but the bell rings before I stop even half of them.

I rub my forehead, fighting against a massive headache. Whatever I’m missing about Maddy, I feel it’s just out of reach. Why can’t I figure this out?

In her first two classes, Maddy’s the star. She’s the first to raise her hand when the chemistry teacher asks questions, and she gets them all right to his obvious surprise. In choir, she volunteers to do a solo to the cheers of her shocked choirmates.

This is Old Maddy again. At least, that’s what everyone thinks. I’m so confused by it all. I’ve always known she’s smart and talented, but I had no idea just how gifted. And I had no idea she could be so affectionate, full of hugs and warmth for those around her. Almost everyone around her, that is.

Just as her family did, everyone here wonders if it’s because of me, if I’m the reason Old Maddy has come out of her shell. If it is because of me, that should be a good thing, right?

Then why are red flags still going off inside me?

I don’t know why she’s Old Maddy today. But more importantly, if this is “Old Maddy,” I don’t know why she ever changed into “New Maddy” in the first place. I don’t understand what the Shadowwalker could have done or said that would make her change so much of herself.