Q&A
I feel like I’m steadily decreasing in my walk with God. I try and try, but somehow I keep slipping away. How can I get back to God?
I love that you asked this question. We forget that we are responsible for our own spiritual nurturing. The challenge is to spend time with God every single day the rest of your life. I’m not talking about a “quiet time” where you lock yourself in a closet with your Bible for two hours. I’m referring to a basic element of living your life with God—prayer. Every day, you can pray—while taking a shower, driving to school, whatever and whenever. Prayer seeks God, letting Him know you need Him in your life.
After you pray spend a few quiet moments letting God speak to your heart. Then I encourage you as often as you can to study God’s Word. I wrote this down many years ago: “Read God’s Word to obey it, not to understand it.” Finally, I encourage you to abide in the vine (see John 15:5). Author Cynthia Heald explains in her book Abiding in Christ, “Abiding is consistently sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to His words with a heart to obey.” If you take these steps, I promise you will revive your friendship with God.
—Leigh
You who seek God, let your heart revive.
PSALM 69:32 NASB
Q&A
I want to find time for Bible study, but I can’t. What advice do you have?
You can make time, though you may need to get up earlier or go to bed a little later. It’s a cop-out to say you can’t find the time. We all make time for what’s most important in our lives. If you daily spend two or three hours watching TV, talking on the phone, or surfing the Internet, don’t tell me you don’t have time to meet with God.
Honestly, I’ve never had a hard time studying the Bible until I had children. I, too, have to check my priorities. Occasionally, my husband and I like to unwind from a long day by watching a little TV or a movie. However, sometimes I haven’t spent time with the Lord yet, and I have to make a choice between God and TV. There is only one right choice, but even at my age sometimes the choice is difficult.
Keep asking yourself what is most important. What is going to help you make better choices in your Christian life? Psalm 119:9 says, “How can a young person keep his life pure? [He can do it] by holding on to your word.” The only way that you can be more like Jesus is to be in God’s Word.
—Heather
I want to reflect on your guiding principles and study your ways.
PSALM 119:15
Q&A
How can I know for sure that I’m going to heaven when I die?
Being assured that you’ll go to heaven is basically simple. God made the gospel so easy that even small children can understand it. If you believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died to pay the penalty for your sins, and you accept His gift of forgiveness for your sins, then you will be saved. Romans 10:9 says, “If you declare that Jesus is Lord, and believe that God brought him back to life, you will be saved.”
Saved from what? Saved from eternal hell, which is reserved for those who never trusted in Jesus. Heaven is real and is our inheritance when we choose Christ. Once you’ve turned to Jesus for eternal life, it’s important to profess your faith and to join in fellowship with other Christians.
If you’ve made a commitment to follow God, but still doubt at times that you’ll go to heaven, you need to understand that these doubts are a tool of the Enemy to confuse you. As a Christ-follower, you are now a part of God’s forever family, and He will never turn His back on you.
—Shelley
This is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is found in his Son. The person who has the Son has this life. The person who doesn’t have the Son of God doesn’t have this life.
1 JOHN 5:11-12
Q&A
How do you know when to forgive someone?
I usually know that I need to forgive someone when I can’t get my mind off how this person has wronged me. I can tell that I need to forgive when I’m starting to harbor resentment. We are always supposed to forgive. The Bible talks about forgiving “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). We always have to remember that Christ has forgiven us.
Forgiving is a choice. I heard a speaker once say, “When you forgive, it takes the offense away from you.” Forgiving lets people off the hook from your wrath. Let God be God, and let Him be the judge. Not you.
—Denise
The LORD is merciful, compassionate, patient, and always ready to forgive.
PSALM 145:8
Q&A
What can I do to feel complete with God and not depend on a guy for happiness?
People may bring us happiness, but only God can complete us. God designed life that way. Your relationship with God is not based on a feeling, but on a personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. As a result, Christ will never leave you nor forsake you. This is a promise from God. Happiness is based on momentary circumstances, but joy comes from God. In God’s presence there “is fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11 NASB).
So get in the presence of God. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8 NASB)). Spend time with Him as often as possible—read, study His Word, and pray. I leave you with the words of Jesus Himself. “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:24 NIV).
—Leigh
I will find joy in the LORD. I will delight in my God.
ISAIAH 61:10
Q&A
I have done some really bad stuff in my past. What can I do other than ask for forgiveness?
Asking for forgiveness is a wonderful idea, but you also need a repentant heart that desires to turn away from sin. Nobody is perfect.
We all have “stuff” for which we are not proud. One of God’s amazing attributes is His forgiveness. However, you must keep a short account with God regarding your sin. If you don’t, before you know it, you’ll have buried a sin you didn’t confess and for which you didn’t receive His forgiveness.
Once you confess and repent of sin before God, you then must accept His forgiveness. You can rest in God’s precious promise in 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (NASB)). When you offer your sins with a sincere heart to God, He completely cleanses you. Don’t wallow in your past failures or guilt; walk in freedom. In Isaiah 43:25 God declares, “I alone am the one who is going to wipe away your rebellious actions for my own sake. I will not remember your sins [anymore].”
—Heather
Put your hope in the LORD, because with the LORD there is mercy and with him there is unlimited forgiveness.
PSALM 130:7
Q&A
How do you manage to stay a good Christian with all the evil there is around us these days?
Evil is essentially Satan’s destructive forces that are immoral or wrong, and they do pervade our world. Unfortunately, evil comes at us from all sides, especially through media that increasingly flaunts sex and violence to get our attention. As Christians we have a job to be in the world, spreading God’s love, but not of the world. There has to come a point where our faith convictions set in and we separate ourselves from the sin around us. This, however, will not always be the easy road.
To “stay a good Christian,” you can try practical things like avoiding questionable movies and TV shows—even if your friends watch them. If things you know are immoral are going on around you, you should try your best simply to stay away from them. Remember, just because we’re Christians doesn’t mean we won’t have temptations. But always cling to this truth: “The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).
—Shelley
The fear of the Lord is wisdom! To stay away from evil is understanding.
JOB 28:28
Q&A
OK, here’s the skinny: some bad stuff happened to me, and I was mad at God for a while. Was it wrong to have been mad at God? And to sometimes still be mad at Him?
God knows everything you think and feel. Also, although it may be difficult to grasp, nothing has ever happened that did not first go through God’s hands. So God can handle your anger, and it’s OK to ask Him, “Why?” God is not offended by your questions. You do have to understand, however, that He is God, and His “ways are higher than [our] ways” (Isaiah 55:9). We have a song that says, “Who am I to try and solve the mysteries behind heart and soul of all that I believe?”
God knows every detail of the bad stuff you experienced. These things may not seem fair or good, but God still has a good plan for you. Your personal story has a purpose, even though you may not fully understand that purpose right now. Psalm 33:4 explains, “everything he does is trustworthy.” You essentially have to trust God or your feelings.
The problem with being mad is that you put up a wall that hinders relationships, and staying mad does nothing for anyone. Communicate. Tell God how you feel. When you do, you’ll start a deeper relationship with Him, deeper than you ever thought could exist.
—Denise
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.
PSALM 62:8 NASB
Q&A
What do you do if you sometimes feel like God isn’t helping you or you don’t feel loved by God?
I have to remind myself of what I mentioned before: having a relationship with God is not based on your feelings. It’s based on a relationship with Jesus. Once you have a relationship with Jesus, His love for you will never go away, no matter your circumstances. Once you recognize that, you will realize that those troubled feelings are not coming from God but from Satan. The Enemy wants you to believe that God could not love you as much as He does. If Satan can convince you of that, he has won.
The Bible states in Nahum 1:7, “The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him” (NIV). Psalm 46:1 explains, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.” These are only two of God’s many promises to His children. Why would God want to jeopardize His reputation on us if He didn’t truly love us?
—Leigh
I love you with an everlasting love. So I will continue to show you my kindness.
JEREMIAH 31:3
Q&A
How do you control your attitude?
This can be a really tough thing to do, especially as a teenager. I remember being sixteen and thinking that I was the only one who really knew anything. I thought that I could make decisions for myself better than anyone else. However, I had very wise parents who didn’t allow me to get too big for my britches.
It’s good to have one or two people in your life who keep you accountable. Not just about what happens on your dates, but accountable about how you are treating your parents or siblings or even your teachers for that matter. My mom still calls me on the carpet sometimes. It still hurts when I hear that she thinks I might need an attitude adjustment, but when I step back from the situation, I always know that she’s right.
Ask yourself this: does my attitude exemplify the fruit of the Spirit? Your life is to reflect the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (see Galatians 5:22-23). If these qualities are not evident in your attitude and actions, then you may need to do some adjusting.
—Heather
Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves. Don’t be concerned only about your own interests, but also be concerned about the interests of others.
PHILIPPIANS 2:3-4
Q&A
What is the best way to stay close to God and build a personal relationship with Him? And why is this so hard?
The best way we can know God is through His Word. It’s really the only tangible thing we have that is directly inspired by God Himself. By spending time reading the Bible and memorizing Scripture, we can know God’s personality better. And the better you know someone, the closer your relationship becomes.
Another way to stay close to God is to simply talk to Him. God wants you to converse with Him whenever you can. He already knows what’s going on in your life, so why not talk to Him about it? You can do this not only when praying, but also at other times, such as while driving in the car or doing a chore.
I think the reason it’s so hard to keep your relationship fresh is because so many other things can easily captivate and distract you. Life is full of activity! If you’re having trouble finding time to keep your relationship with God strong, it’s probably a good indication that you’re simply too busy. To make time with God a priority, something from your life most likely needs to go.
—Shelley
Let Christ’s word with all its wisdom and richness live in you. Use psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to teach and instruct yourselves about [God’s] kindness. Sing to God in your hearts.
COLOSSIANS 3:16
Q&A
How did you balance academics and your relationship with God?
I’m probably not the best one to answer this because academics was not my thing. But I do realize that teenagers today are bombarded with homework and activities. It’s hard to fit everything in. I also realize how vital it is to nurture your relationship with God. Remember that you can talk to Him anywhere—running laps in track, driving to school, taking a shower.
Interacting with God is truly a choice. Get up five to ten minutes early to read a small devotion. Put a Scripture up in your locker to meditate upon for the week. If you have time to e-mail friends or talk on the phone, you have time to talk to God! Believe me, I am speaking to myself as well. God doesn’t expect an hour-long Bible study every day. He just wants to be a part of your every moment.
—Denise
Search for the LORD and his strength. Always seek his presence.
1 CHRONICLES 16:11
Q&A
How can God answer or listen to so many prayers at once? I know He hears all our prayers, but can He really answer them all at once?
First of all, God does not answer prayers with an instantaneous hocus-pocus act. God is omnipresent, or in existence everywhere at once, and He is omniscient, knowing everything. Because God is both omnipresent and omniscient, He can be all things at all times.
Since God is the creator of time, He answers our prayers in His perfect time. God may not answer our requests “overnight”; instead, He perfectly plans out the details of His responses to fit His overall purpose. Our tiny minds struggle to understand the enormous power and provision of God, but the truth is, He can do anything!
—Leigh
Almighty LORD, you made heaven and earth by your great strength and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you.
JEREMIAH 32:17
Q&A
I know I’m saved and all, but my relationship with God is not strong anymore. I don’t feel I have much faith. Please help!
Have you ever expressed words similar to the psalmist’s: “How long, O LORD? Will You hide Yourself forever?” (89:46 NASB)). “Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress” (102:2 NASB)). Have you cried out to God, wondering where He is? Perhaps you have experienced His presence, but now you don’t sense Him anywhere in your life. If so, then you are like the writers of the Psalms. The Psalms reflect the cries of ones longing to be in God’s presence and securely trust Him.
You are not alone in questioning the strength of your faith. Sometimes God allows us to go through seasons of testing, and our belief can feel weak. If you are a born-again believer, then rest assured that God will “not fail you or forsake you” (Joshua 1:5 NASB)).
Sin can also hinder your faith. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me” (NASB)). Be sure to bring your sin or hurtful ways to God. Honestly communicating with God will help get you back on track spiritually and will renew your faith day by day.
—Heather
God, who shows you his kindness and who has called you through Christ Jesus to his eternal glory, will restore you, strengthen you, make you strong, and support you.
1 PETER 5:10
Q&A
I know God has called me into His service, and I believe He has something special for me, but how do I know what it is?
We are all called to live lives of service to God if we are believers, but I’m assuming you are speaking specifically about being called into some sort of special ministry. If you know in your heart you have been called to something like this, it’s only a matter of time before God will reveal this ministry to you.
It is your job, in the meantime, to be faithful to Him in the little things of your life, and when obvious opportunities present themselves, you have to remember that God speaks through circumstances. God will, in His time, bring about the exact circumstance that will determine your future calling.
—Shelley
Everything has its own time, and there is a specific time for every activity under heaven.
ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Q&A
I have the desire to minister to teen girls, but how can I get everything organized, planned out, and actually put into action? What advice do you have for me based on your experience with Girls of Grace?
It all starts with prayer. I’m not an organizer either, so we found someone who had that gift to help pull things together. You’ll never feel like you are fully ready, but at some point you just have to jump on in. Before you roll out any plans, research to understand a little more the needs of teenage girls.
Once you step out, just be there for the girls more than anything. It can be simple things like taking them to lunch once a month for a start. Or find a Bible study to do together. Girls thrive on relationships. Develop your friendships first, then move on into more of the issues. Love on these girls—that’s what they need more than anything.
—Denise
Love each other with a warm love that comes from the heart. After all, you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth. As a result you have a sincere love for each other.
1 PETER 1:22
Q&A
If God already knows everything, why is it important to pray?
Prayer is not for God’s benefit but for our benefit. Speaker Ross Winker says, “Prayer is a conversation between two people who love each other.” God desires to hear from us and for us to listen to Him. You can’t have a relationship without communication. Praying is our way of communicating with God.
When we repent of our sins, we come prayerfully to God for forgiveness. When we pray we seek God’s help and acknowledge our need for Him in our lives. The Bible invites us to pray (see Hebrews 4:16), and Jesus often modeled how to pray. He even prayed during His final moments on the cross!
It’s important to remember that prayer is not just about asking, but also about thanking and praising God. Prayer is also our opportunity to hear the voice of God. “But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).
—Leigh
Pray in the Spirit in every situation. Use every kind of prayer and request there is. For the same reason be alert. Use every kind of effort and make every kind of request for all of God’s people.
EPHESIANS 6:18
Q&A
How can you know you’ve been forgiven of your sins?
First of all, you have to ask yourself if you really trust and believe that what God says in His Word is true. If you don’t believe what the Bible says, then you will always doubt that you’ve been forgiven. God is, by His nature, forgiving. Acts 10:43 says, “People who believe in the one named Jesus receive forgiveness for their sins through him.”
The Bible is also clear that “God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we’ve done wrong” (1 John 1:9). Therefore, we have to confess our sin, then repent or turn from our sin, and receive forgiveness. Receiving is the hardest part. But if you trust God’s Word, then you must receive the forgiveness He offers.
—Heather
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my sake, and remembers your sins no more.
ISAIAH 43:25 NIV
Q&A
Who do you listen to or go to for answers when you come to a gray area in your life that isn’t directly talked about in the Bible?
I think the very best “person” to listen to in this situation is the Holy Spirit. If you are a believer, the Holy Spirit lives in you. The Holy Spirit usually comes in the form of a still, small voice inside of you, whispering to your spirit whether what you are about to do is right or wrong. God’s promptings are undeniable, but whether or not you listen is up to you.
God knows what is best for you, and you can choose to ignore the voice (some people might refer to this as their conscience) or follow the lead of the Holy Spirit when making decisions. As a general rule of thumb, though, if the area seems gray to you, it’s probably best to steer clear and use caution. The fact that you recognize a questionable area may be a signal in and of itself that something is not quite right.
—Shelley
The helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything. He will remind you of everything that I have ever told you.
JOHN 14:26
Q&A
How can you tell what God’s will is for you and what He wants you to do with your life?
Determining God’s will is a step-by-step process. Bible teacher Henry Blackaby, in his workbook Experiencing God, says to look at what
God is doing around you and join Him in it. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.” God promises to light your path, and you can’t move a step without His notice. God will also lead you through circumstances and other people.
We are people who want to see the whole picture now, but it’s the day-by-day path that takes us on our journey. When you feel called to do something, you will have peace about it, even if it’s not easy to do. His Spirit will continue to speak things to your heart, but you’ve got to take quiet moments to hear from God. If you work on giving your best to God in all you do, He’ll be the one to take you where you need to go.
—Denise
You watch me when I travel and when I rest. You are familiar with all my ways.
PSALM 139:3
Q&A
Can I still be a Christian and be sad sometimes? I’m trying to trust God, but happiness sometimes seems far away.
Absolutely! The Bible shares story after story about downhearted people. Abraham loved God but was sad because he wanted children.
Throughout much of the book of Psalms, David cried out to God during times of deep despair. Paul suffered with sadness, too, while trying to convince those he loved to stay faithful.
Everyone will experience sadness whether he or she is a Christian or not. But we know as Christians that our sufferings have a purpose. We also have to remember that happiness is based on our circumstances. As a result, we will not always be happy, and that is totally normal.
Paul encouraged the Philippians to not let their circumstance dictate their inner attitudes. Philippians 4:4 reminds us, “Always be joyful in the Lord! I’ll say it again: Be joyful!” Your ultimate joy comes from a relationship with Jesus and knowing that no matter what, Jesus is always with you.
—Leigh
But let all who take refuge in you rejoice. Let them sing with joy forever. Protect them, and let those who love your name triumph in you.
PSALM 5:11
Q&A
What do I do if I used to be into church, but now don’t know whether or not I believe in God anymore?
This is a really big question. I wish I knew why you are questioning your belief in God. But let’s start by recognizing that the church is the body of Christ, not some building that you visit. If you are a born-again believer in Jesus Christ, then you have a responsibility within the body of Christ to use your spiritual gifts in a local body (church). A human body won’t be at its best if it’s missing a body part; neither will the body of Christ. Your church and my church need us to bring our spiritual gifts so that our churches can function to bring God glory. Look at 1 Corinthians 12.
Now, I went through a time in my life when I questioned God’s ways. I never questioned, however, whether I believed in Him. Here is what concerns me: there is a difference between believing intellectually and truly putting your trust in Jesus Christ and His painful yet glorious death on the cross as the payment for your sin debt to God. James 2:19 says that even the demons believe there is a God. Look deeply into your heart. I pray that you will see that Jesus really is the way, the truth, and the life.
—Heather
Jesus answered him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one goes to the Father except through me.”
JOHN 14:6
Q&A
When you choose to live for God, how can you still follow Him when you’re in school or around people who don’t believe?
You have to be strong, especially if you are a new Christian. Ask God every day before school to help you have the strength to honor your choice to follow Him. Also, equipping yourself with God’s Word in your heart will really help you. When things start to get tough at school and you feel like throwing in the towel and going along with those who don’t believe, it is beneficial to recall helpful verses from the Bible.
Finding close Christian friends, especially someone at your school, will also encourage you in the tough times. Always remember that the choice you have made to live for God is an eternal one, and what your school and friends thought about that choice will one day not matter at all, but your relationship with God is forever.
—Shelley
Receive your power from the Lord and from his mighty strength. Put on all the armor that God supplies. In this way you can take a stand against the devil’s strategies.
EPHESIANS 6:10-11
Q&A
How do you know when you’re saved?
You can’t know if you are saved by just your feelings. At some point in your life you realized that you needed God. You believed that His Son, Jesus, came to this earth for all of us because we had all been wrong in the eyes of God. Jesus was perfect and never sinned.
He died on a cross as a penalty for all the mistakes you have made and will ever make. By saying to Jesus, “Please forgive me, be my Savior. I give my life to You,” you are asking Jesus to take the place of your sins, and now you are perfect in God’s eyes. You are saved. That will never change. Now, go on and live for Him!
—Denise
We were dead because of our failures, but he made us alive together with Christ. (It is God’s kindness that saved you.)
EPHESIANS 2:5