The maid had laid her gown out on the bed. Alberta had been delighted to find this beautiful blue silk in her shopping excursion with Sarah before she made her way here to Great Falls. It was the perfect shade, and set off the color of her eyes perfectly. She checked the seed pearls were all still in place, and her inspection complete she began to feel that she was almost ready to face the public at the ball. This single day was so important, much would be decided upon following her performance tonight, and she was determined not to let herself, or Gideon down.
She had been surprised to find that Gideon was so young. She did not know why, but she had expected him to be closer to her Father’s age when he had run for Governor – yet he was only a year or so older than herself. He was handsome too, with a patrician look that she knew would serve him well. His well cut hair looked soft, and it fell over his forehead in an endearing way that made her long to push it back, to see the full glory of his sharp cheekbones and strong jaw. His green eyes were full of humor, and intensity. She could tell he would make a good politician for his people, would not allow himself to be bullied into accepting less than his convictions would allow. Few politicians seemed to have that quality anymore; it may not make him popular within government but would certainly make his constituents love him. He would be formidable, she was sure of it
Sitting so close by him at the intimate luncheon yesterday, she had been utterly distracted by his sheer physical presence. Though she hoped that he had not noticed just how deeply the very scent of him, warm citrus and spice, had impacted upon her. But she knew that this marriage was important to him. She would have to ensure that she did her best to keep her desire hidden from everyone, including her husband to be. Passionate love was not often an asset in politics. It would be her job to be seen as demure and supportive, the perfect wife and mother. To let anyone see the desire she had felt from the moment he had looked up at her would do him no favors.
As she gazed at her reflection in the looking glass, she admired her high cheekbones, and fiddled with her hair to ensure it fell perfectly. She picked up a brush and applied kohl carefully to her eyes to make them seem larger, and a tiny touch of rouge to her cheeks and lips. She hoped that Gideon would at least think her attractive, even though she was resigned to the thought that he may never love her. She was not sure if she would learn to love him either, but she had certainly felt a thrill of pure pleasure just being in his presence. But, she knew it was essential she not show it, that even he never know just how his lightest touch sent such thrills through every inch of her body. She shivered as she remembered how his strong thigh had brushed against hers under the dining table, and how his gentle kiss farewell, demurely on the cheek, had sent her into raptures of delight.
“Miss, are you ready?” her maid asked. She nodded and stood so that the young woman could lace her tightly into her corset. She clung to the bedpost, holding her breath as the laces were expertly tightened. “Can you still breathe?”
“Barely,” she gasped.
“Then it’s just tight enough,” the maid said in a matter of fact tone.
“I think we can afford to permit me to breathe a little more easily,” Alberta said as she began to feel a little lightheaded. “I do not need to impress too much, I am sure that my name and who my Papa happens to be are far more attractive traits to the attendees of this ball than my waistline ever needs to be.”
“Miss, I am sure that is not true. There will be many important people there, and the press of course. Lovely young lady like you could make quite an impression, could maybe even find a handsome husband.”
“Even more reason that I be able to breathe, it would be most impolitic if I were to have a feinting fit as I am introduced to someone who might wish to wed me, don’t you think?” The maid grinned at her and reluctantly let out the stays a little. Alberta gasped for air, and rubbed at the skin where the corset had pinched tightly under her arms. “Thank you,” she sighed. In moments she was dressed, and she made a few final adjustments to her hair and dabbed perfume at her throat, wrists and décolleté.
“You look lovely,” the maid said approvingly. “I bet you’ll have a wonderful time. I’ve always wanted to attend a grand ball. But, it isn’t the place for the likes of me. But, I must admit all the politics is a bit beyond me, but that Mr MacAlpine is ever so handsome isn’t he? And always seems so nice. If I could vote, I think I’d vote for him.” Alberta smiled inwardly at the young woman’s praise of the man she most hoped to impress tonight. She hadn’t expected to feel too much for him, even though she had come here to meet with a view to matrimony. She had simply longed to be able to start her own family at long last, and it had been too good an opportunity to pass up on – one that just might offer her that chance. She had not believed in love at first sight, had scorned her friends who said that they had felt that way about men in the past - yet she had been smitten from the second she set eyes upon him.
She took out a single strand of rose pearls, and handed them to the maid. She lifted her hair carefully and the young woman fastened the clasp. The maid swiftly tidied the room and made her exit, Alberta was left alone. The silence was tangible. She looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. She looked as beautiful as she had ever done, and she had her father’s name on her side. There was no reason why this marriage should not happen and every reason why it should, and yet she found herself filled with nervous tension. Butterflies flew in a torrent in her belly, her fingers shook, and her shoulders felt tight.
A knock on her door broke the silence. She opened the door and Madelaine entered. She looked as beautiful as ever, in an elegant green silk gown. “I had to let the seams out. I have gained so much weight!” she chuckled.
“Could you be pregnant?” Alberta asked her curiously.
“It is possible, but I think it is because I am so content. We live a relatively simple life, William and I, but it is a good one. I no longer have to fret about whether my eyebrows are perfectly plucked, my hair set just right, or how tightly my corset must be laced. I eat what I like without fear for my figure and it is delightful.”
“It sounds it,” Alberta said enviously. “But I doubt that will be my lot.”
“No, as the wife of a politician you would remain under close scrutiny I am afraid.”
“I am sure I can stand the burden,” Alberta said with a wry smile. She had been in the public eye her entire life because of her father, she knew no different way to live. She could not miss what she had never had.
“You like him don’t you?” Maddy asked perceptively. She wondered if she should be honest with her dearest friend, her concerns seemed so strange.
“Yes I do,” she said eventually, making up her mind that she needed to confide in somebody. “I did not expect to, but I find him utterly fascinating.”
“I felt exactly the same way about William. Do not worry, it isn’t a bad thing to be in love with your husband. In fact it can make it all so much more pleasant.” Maddy grinned lasciviously.
“But your husband loves you back. I am no fool, I know that a man like Gideon is only marrying because it will do his campaign good – but I am not sure if I can agree to a marriage where there is no love returned. When I believed it would be a simple trade off for us both, he got a wife and I got a child, it was equal somehow. But, I do not think I could bear the thought of him choosing a mistress over me, or not being by his side every moment now.”
“You have a difficult decision to make. I can only offer one piece of advice and that is this. Follow your heart and not your head for once my dear friend. You have done the right thing, in every situation your entire life. Why not, just this once, grab at something for yourself? He may have deeper feelings for you than you can ascertain, he may learn to love you in time – but even if he does not would you rather have a life with him, or without him?”
Maddy tucked her arm into Alberta’s and they made their way downstairs to the grand ballroom. Her friend’s words echoed in her ears as she was introduced to more of Madelaine’s friends from Sun River, and to some of the more influential citizens of Great Falls and all around Montana that had made the trip tonight. Her years of education in deportment and manners served her well as she smiled and made small talk. Nobody would have known of the turmoil inside her as she eased her way around the room. It was not long before her dance card was full, and she had yet to even find Gideon in the crowds. She had kept the first dance before supper, and the one following it for him, she hoped that would please him. She could hardly wait to be in his arms, to have his tall, strong body pressed so closely against her own.
“Miss Freemont, I see you have been making an impression on all you meet,” a deep and rich voice she would have recognized with her eyes closed said from behind her. She turned, smiling nervously. Gideon looked spectacular in his formal evening wear.
“Maddy, Emily and Frederica have done their best to introduce me to everyone they know,” she replied, smiling nervously.
“You look stunning,” he said simply as he took her hand. Even through her long gloves she could feel the heat of his skin. “I do hope I am not too late to claim a dance with you?”
“I have saved you two,” she admitted honestly. She saw no reason to play coquettish games.
“Before and after supper I hope,” he said politely.
“Of course.”
“It will be my pleasure,” he said as he gallantly kissed her hand. “I am sorry, but I must circulate amongst the guests. This is sadly not a pleasurable event for me, I must work for my supper!”
“Then I shall allow you to go and do what you must.” He bowed, and then disappeared into the crowds. Alberta felt strangely bereft. But she was soon being whirled around the dance floor by a parade of lively young men.
She had barely stopped to catch her breath for over an hour when Gideon reappeared, tapping her then partner on the shoulder to announce his intention to cut in. “You seem to be the belle of the ball,” he said smiling down at her. “I have found it hard to tear my eyes from you, thought I should have been busy talking to rich and powerful men who just might help me become Governor,” he teased. She was flattered by the flirtatious tone, but she doubted that he had been distracted for even a single second. She was sure that Gideon MacAlpine was more than capable of focusing on what he wanted.
She did not know how to respond to him, his physical presence was overwhelming. To be held so closely to him, to be held in his strong, yet gentle, grip was tantalizing. She felt quite lightheaded, and was more than glad that she had insisted on loosening her corset. “Miss Freemont, you have gone quite pale,” he said, his voice concerned, but she could barely make out his words. He suddenly seemed so far away and everything was muffled. “I think you have danced too much, and I prescribe fresh air,” he added as he whisked her swiftly towards the open doorway, out onto the verandah.
He sat her down on the stone balustrade and knelt down at her side. “Take some deep breaths my dear,” he said gently. She did as she was told and found her mind begin to clear and her strength return.
“I am so terribly sorry,” she said feeling quite mortified. “I have never been the type to have a feinting fit before.” He stroked her arm tenderly, a supportive gesture that sent shivers racing up and down her spine.
“It is quite alright. I think I should feel quite weak too after all that dancing. You are a wonderful dancer. I found myself wondering if you are as passionate about everything in your life as you seemed to be about your enjoyment of the music and the steps.”
“I do love to dance, and to sing,” she admitted. “I do seem to feel things deeply, I either love a thing, or despise it. Rarely do my feelings fall in between.” He nodded thoughtfully, and she wondered if she had maybe said the wrong thing. It felt tantamount to admitting that she felt deeply for him, and she did not want him to feel in any way beholden to return those feelings.
“Miss Freemont, Alberta,” he started awkwardly. “This wasn’t quite what I had intended, but I find I do not want to wait, I cannot wait in fact. I need a wife. No, that sounds terrible, even though to some extent it is definitely true.” He looked so confused, and so out of control that Alberta wanted to comfort him, but she also wanted to laugh at how tongue-tied he suddenly seemed. He was such a suave and poise man, to see him this way was quite a revelation. “I want a wife. I want a family, and I want you to be my wife.”
She had to some extent expected the betrothal, but not the proposal. It was so endearing, that he seemed as nervous and anxious about everything as she herself felt. She cupped his face in her hand, and smiled at him. “Are you asking me to be your wife?” she clarified. He nodded.
“I am sorry, I am making a terrible hash of this. It sounds like such a simple thing until you actually have to ask a girl to do it! But yes, I am asking if you will be my wife?”
“Well, that is why I came to Montana after all,” she admitted, trying not to sound as if it was the thing she wanted more than any other. Just because he was fumbling over the proposal did not mean that he had feelings for her, it just meant that he was nervous about entering the state of matrimony.
“So that is a yes?” He looked up at her hopefully.
“Indeed, it is a yes.” He leapt to his feet, and took her hand. His other delved into his pocket, and pulled out a ring. The diamond was flawless, and glistened in the moonlight. He slipped it onto her finger. Unable to stop herself she sighed.
They shared a look, one that confused her and left her feeling raw and exposed. But, she was sure she had seen the echoes of her own desire in his green eyes. But she didn’t have time to think of it as he dipped his head and claimed her lips. His kiss was fierce, not the gentle and demure sealing of a bargain, but the passionate embrace of a man who wanted a woman. Alberta wound her arms around his neck and gave herself to him willingly, allowing him to pull her onto her feet and up against his body so that she could feel every inch of him. She had no awareness of anything but him and the exquisite sensations that he was creating in her body as he let his fingers trail over the revealing neckline of her gown. Her chest was heaving, and she gave a little moan as he kissed down her neck and left a trail of moist kisses across her décolletage. She forgot all sense of time and space, and lost herself in him, caressing the tendons at the back of his neck, allowing her hands to wander down and cup his pert derriere.
A gong sounded in the distance. Gideon looked up at her, his eyes bright. His face changed in an instant, from a man enraptured to one utterly ashamed. She wanted to tell him that it was alright, that she did not mind. They were now affianced after all. But she held her tongue and tried to contain her disappointment as he stepped away from her. She smoothed her dress, and tidied her hair, then took his arm most properly and allowed him to lead her in to supper. She clasped the kiss inside of her, burying the knowledge – for now at least – that at the very least he did find her attractive enough to lose himself in the moment. She prayed that it would be enough for her to know she was desired, even if she was never loved.