Chapter 20
Since Angel had come in on a very late flight, she stayed in Saul’s cottage, but bright and early the next morning, right at breakfast time, they rode to Pamela’s village.
When Pamela saw them, she didn’t know who to hug first; Saul for doing her bidding so quickly or Angel for coming so quickly. Since Angel was the first to get off her horse, she received the first hug from a very excited Pamela. “You came. I didn’t think you’d come so quickly. Actually, I didn’t think Saul would make this happen so quickly. Thank you so much.”
“Anything for love. I told you that I want to see you guys together no matter what I have to do.” She hugged Pamela again.
Saul got off his horse and Pamela hugged him and thanked him. “You didn’t have to work so fast. I could have waited.”
“What my darling wants, my darling gets. There are two of us in this thing and I can’t wait, you made sure of that. I want her off the island faster than you do, believe me.”
Pamela laughed and shook her head.
“Plus, I had to get supplies for your cottage.” He pointed to the horse-drawn cart coming up the mountain.
“You don’t joke around, do you?”
“Well, it’s either work or bug you all the while.” He winked at her and she burst out laughing again.
Angel, who’d been talking with Esther, looked at them and laughed. “What do you think of those two?” she said.
Esther smiled but didn’t answer.
Angel understood completely.
“Where are your bags?” Pamela asked.
“They’re at Saul’s place. We were in such a hurry to get here that I told him he could bring them later. Am I staying with you?”
“I don’t have the space. Maybe if Saul doesn’t mind you can stay with him. How long will you stay?”
“As long as you need me.”
“Are you sure?”
“James will visit in a few days, if that’s what you’re worried about, and my partner will take over my cases until I get back.”
Pamela laughed. “I wasn’t worried. I know you guys are extremely solid.”
Right through breakfast, Saul kept drawing sketches of the additions he wanted to make to Pamela’s home. But he had a few things to do before starting the project.
After breakfast, Angel sat down with Saul and Pamela. Saul told her about Raquel, and Angel sat in amazement at what he’d put up with over the years. But the fact that Pamela was the one who’d suggested that Raquel receive treatment before leaving the island was food for thought. Angel felt she had to ask. “Why did you want to do this for her, Pammy?”
“She’s a drunk, and I love these children. I don’t want them to lose their mother. I know she’s not my responsibility, but she seems to have gotten worse since she’s been here. Frankly, she could take a boat to Jamaica and get mixed up with the wrong crowd and get killed. I know I’m talking as if she’s a child, but that’s what drunks are. They’re stupid children who don’t realize what they’re doing to their bodies and the people around them until it’s too late.”
Angel smiled. “And you need me for what?”
“You live in the outside world. You can better relate to her. You can help her because you can be impartial.”
Angel looked at Saul, then Pamela, and smiled. “I love you guys. As I said, I’ll do anything to see you two together and happy.”
“We are happy,” Saul said. “It’s just a few things that need to be done for us to be truly together.”
“Give me a week.”
“That long?” Saul said.
The women laughed. Angel looked again at Pamela and Pamela gave a guilty laugh. “Okay then,” Angel said. “take me to this place to begin my job. I have to tell you that she will absolutely hate the idea at first. After all, I am a Rahjah. Not one with locked hair, but one nonetheless.”
“No one can do it but you, Angel,” Pamela said, getting to her feet.
Then Angel said something with no idea of the consequences. “Saul, may I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
She hesitated.
“It’s all right, you can say anything in front of Pam. We have no secrets.”
“Okay,” Angel said, looking directly at him. “Have you ever hit Raquel?”
He didn’t answer.
Angel could clearly see that she had stumbled upon an unexposed truth.
The length of time he took to answer shocked Pamela. Of all the things he’d told her, one thing he’d never admitted was hitting the mother of his children.
Saul sighed long and hard. “No, but I grabbed her hard and shook her once.” He shook his head as both women stared at him. As a trained psychologist, Angel showed no emotion. He looked at Pamela and saw the shocked look on her face. He quickly added, “I grabbed her and shook her hard, then threw her out of my way...” Before he could finish, Pamela gasped and ran from the room.
“Please let me explain, Pam, please.” But she was long gone.
Pamela was not really one to cry in front of anyone if she could avoid it. This time she could, and crying in front of him now was not an option.
Almost in a daze, Saul looked at Angel. “She didn’t let me finish.”
“That’s why I wanted her to be out of the room,” Angel said. “But before I tell you everything will be all right, will you tell me what brought that on?”
“I need to go after Pam and explain,” he said impatiently.
Angel touched his hand. “No, you don’t. Pam needs a bit of space and you need to elaborate.” She kept looking at him.
He didn’t sit down. “She was so angry with me one day that she abused Ruthie.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’d gone to Jamaica with the children. I held David while she held Ruth. Ruth began screaming. Raquel wanted me to hold both children, I guess she wanted me to take Ruth without her asking. When I offered to take her, she said it was all right, but I could see in her eyes and actions that she was angry. While the baby screamed, Raquel pinned her little arms so that she couldn’t move. She just sat there pushing down on the baby’s arms and feet. I told her to give me the baby but she refused. Did I tell you that we were in a crowded restaurant?”
Angel shook her head.
“We were. I waited until we came home. I put David to bed, took Ruthie from her and put her to bed, then grabbed Raquel and told her never to do that again. Then I pushed her toward the bed.”
Angel nodded.
“What do I do now? How can I get all that across to Pam before she begins to hate me?”
“She won’t hate you. I don’t think she ever can. You will find the words to explain and she will listen. Just give her time.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, but I have to go to work.” She walked outside with Saul and saw Pamela. She walked up to her and whispered in her ear, “Everything is not always as it seems.”
Saul began walking toward Pamela, but the scowl on her face and her body language stopped him cold.
“You’re not coming with us?” Angel asked Pamela.
“No, not this time.”
Angel nodded and took the reins of the horse. Wearing a pair of khaki pants, she jumped onto the horse’s back and rode away with Saul.
Pamela didn’t know what to think. How could he have done that? She’d watched Raquel try to emasculate him. Was that his way of atonement? Did he allow her to abuse him because he’d abused her? Her head was spinning. Not once had she ever thought he’d do her harm. He was always so attentive, so eager to please her. Deep in thought, she began walking. There had to be an explanation for why he’d pushed her. And why on earth had she run away before he’d finished his explanation? That was the stupidest thing she’d ever done. Saul was gentle and kind. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. She asked herself the question once more. Why did I run away?
She would be seeing him every day as he worked on her home. No, she would stop him from touching her house. She shook her head. What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t I allow him to explain? He’d not finished the bloody sentence before I left. What’s wrong with me? She took a deep breath and walked slowly back to the village. She had a class to teach.
Saul accompanied Angel to the detox center but didn’t go in. Apart from the fact that he had work to do, visitors were forbidden until the patient showed signs of improvement.
He rode back to Pamela’s cottage and unloaded the supplies. Taking off his shirt, he began chopping lumber and preparing the material. He would work until it was finished. He would do this for Pamela and himself.
He worked tirelessly through the morning hours. He didn’t know how long he’d worked when he heard the voice behind him telling him to stop. “What?” He turned to see Pamela.
Transfixed, she stood there staring at his naked torso, which was glistening with sweat. She shook her head and stuttered, “I don’t want you to do this anymore. I don’t want you to do anything for me.”
He stopped what he was doing and walked slowly toward her. “Pammy, please let me...”
“No. I don’t want to speak with you right now.” She backed away from him.
“Pammy, you didn’t let me finish.”
“You didn’t tell me.”
“You never asked as point-blank as Angel did.”
“You should have told me anyway.”
“You still won’t let me tell you. We trust each other. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I said I don’t want to speak to you about it right now. I want you to stop working on my house.”
He shrugged. “That’s too bad, because I said I would do this and I won’t stop. I keep my word.” He walked back and began working.
“I...I want you to stop.” She didn’t want to shout because the children weren’t far away.
“No. You don’t want to listen to what I have to say, so I won’t listen to you. I said I would do this and I will.”
He sounded like a stubborn child, but Pamela was too upset to even notice. “Fine,” she said and walked away. “I don’t care what you do.” She kept on muttering until she was away from him. Then she ran into Esther.
“I heard what happened this morning. Do you want to talk?”
“You know what I love about you, Mama?”
Esther didn’t answer.
“I love the way you pry without prying. If I want to tell you, you’ll listen but you won’t insist and it’s because you won’t insist that I won’t say anything. I’ll deal with it.”
“Did Saul say or do something?” Esther folded her arms in front of her.
Pamela smiled. “You raised me to handle things on my own so that you didn’t have to worry about me. You talked and I listened, even when you thought I wasn’t listening.” She kissed her mother’s cheek. “I was listening. You did a great job.” She walked away, looked back and saw her mother smiling and shaking her head as she entered the fabric hut.
Pamela wanted to seek out Angel to ask her how Saul had finished the conversation, but pride prevented her; plus, Angel was still at the hospital.
She went to where the children were sitting with Mary and helped her with their questions.
But from the way Mary looked at her, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she asked what was going on. One by one the children dispersed, including Gracie and Shaela. She knew they were heading for the stables to go to see Ruth and David. Gracie didn’t even ask anymore. It was a given that if she was missing for a while, she was with the twins.
Mary sat beside her and Pamela got up. “Walk with me,” she said. And as they walked toward the caves Pamela asked, “Am I selfish and stupid?”
Mary laughed and shook her head. “You are absolutely neither of those things.”
“I think I’m stupid.”
“What’s going on with you?”
“Saul admitted grabbing Raquel and I ran out of the room like a stupid child without listening to the full story. Now I won’t speak to him.”
Mary stopped. “Do you know how evil that woman is? You’re lucky he had the restraint to just grab her. If she were my wife I’d slap her a few times.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m being overly dramatic?”
Mary gave her one of those “you said it” looks then began walking again. “Why on earth would you let him feel guilty without hearing everything that he had to say?”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I guess I wanted him to tell me before he told anyone else.”
“Pammy, he was probably very embarrassed. You yourself talk about how gentle and attentive he is.”
“But I’m not judgmental.”
“Why did you run away from him?” Mary stopped and looked in Pamela’s face.
Pamela didn’t know what to say. They’d reached the caves and instead of keeping quiet, they kept on talking, waking the bats. They began screeching and flapping their wings. The women dropped to the ground and covered their heads until the bats went back to their perch, then they got to their feet and ran to the beach.
They both sat down on warm sand under a coconut tree. Pamela placed her hands behind her head and laced her fingers. “I wish I could speak with Raquel.”
“She wanted to speak with you but you chose to put her in therapy instead.”
“I thought it was the best thing for her and the children.”
“It is, and you’re being very gallant.”
Pamela sighed. She closed her eyes and in her mind’s eye could see Saul with his shirt off working on her cottage, the sun seemingly bouncing off his very trim body. She opened her eyes and looked over at Mary, who was looking at her. “Did I moan?” she asked, a bit embarrassed.
“A little.”
Watching the water undulate on latté colored sand, she took a deep breath. Whether she liked it or not, she had to wait until supper to talk with Angel.