Chapter 21
It was close to suppertime when Saul decided to leave Pamela’s cottage before she came home. All by himself, he’d gotten a lot done. He’d mixed concrete, broken rocks and laid brick on top of brick. He had not given himself time to think about anything but building. A few men had offered to help and he’d accepted, but for the next day.
The first thing he did after getting back to his own cottage was walk down to the beach for a long swim and then to the waterfall to bathe. As much as he tried, he couldn’t help thinking about Pamela and her actions. She’d pulled a complete one-eighty on him. It was as if she were trying to start a fight with him, testing him. He was in the deepest part of the river, treading water. He dove and came up in the shallow end. He stood and began walking toward the river bank. He’d give her space if that’s what she wanted, but he’d never give her up. Even if he tried he couldn’t be angry with her. If he had to show her repeatedly how much he loved her, then that’s what he’d do, but for now, he’d give her the space she needed.
Pamela sat with Angel at supper, but didn’t ask her anything about the session with Raquel.
After supper, they had tea in Pamela’s cottage. Angel spoke before she had a chance to ask any questions. “He never raised a hand to her, you know. She admitted she was always the aggressor.”
“But why, why would she be like that?”
“Although everything ties into why she’s so aggressive toward Saul, I can’t divulge anything she’s told me about her past,” Angel said.
“I respect that. Can you tell Saul?”
“Not unless she wants me to, and she hasn’t said so. But she has told him a lot of things about her childhood, the way she grew up. He was protecting his children, Pammy.”
“From their mother?”
“You’ve met her. You’ve spoken to her. You’ve almost had an altercation with her. You’ve seen the way she treats him and the way he retaliates with kindness. It’s not hard to do the math.” Angel looked at Pamela and took a sip of her tea. “This is wonderful,” she said.
“Thank you.”
“Listen, in my world men are blamed for a lot of things, and very often they’re guilty, but one out of a hundred is so gentle that he’s taken advantage of by women. I’m a woman and it destroys me to say this, but there are women out there that are bigger bullies than some men. There are women out there that have had such tragic upbringings that they lash out at men. Why? Because men are supposedly the stronger of the sexes. When they meet a man that shows compassion, they mistake it for weakness and take advantage. Saul is one of those men. The things Raquel has admitted doing to him... A weaker man would have put her in the hospital or worse. But the more he showed compassion and understanding, the more he was misunderstood by her until she killed whatever feelings he had for her.”
Pamela sat listening and digesting every word Angel spoke. She could run to Saul and ask his forgiveness, but she was stubborn and filled with pride, which was a dangerous combination. She changed the conversation. “How is your daughter?”
Angel looked at her, smiled and leaned back against the cushion. “You would like to change the subject?”
She nodded.
“I understand. Hildie is great. Still in college and working part-time in my office.”
“She wants to be a psychologist, too?”
“I think so.”
“I heard that she’s so close to you she didn’t want to leave you to go to college, so you had her attend the closest university to you.”
Angel laughed. “Actually, she did that, not me. I would have preferred her to attend a university that was far from home, but she refused to be far away from me. She could have transferred after her second year, but not my Hildie. I notice Gracie is very close to you, too.”
“Even though Gracie didn’t know her father, I think we would still be this close if he were alive. It all depends on the kind of parent you are. I watch Saul with his children and he seems to love them both the same.” She looked at Angel.
“Why won’t you speak with him? You clearly adore this man. It’s killing him that you won’t speak with him.”
Pam didn’t answer.
“Okay, I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” She looked at her friend, sighed, and shook her head. She got up from the cushion and followed Pam into the small kitchen with the tray. “Do you want to take a peek at what Saul’s been doing?”
Pamela smiled but shook her head.
“You’re a stubborn one. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, walking outside and mounting her horse.
Saul appeared from out of nowhere to ride with Angel. He sat atop his horse looking at Pamela. His eyes were soft and imploring, but he said nothing.
Pamela could feel his eyes rake over her body. She could almost feel his strength pulling her to him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him lift his hair from his shoulder and throw it behind him. His shirt was unbuttoned to his waist and she bit into her lower lip but didn’t look directly at him. What am I doing?
Angel waved to her, and she waved back. Saul didn’t wave but rode off down the path with Angel. They spurred their horses into a fast gallop. Pamela took a deep breath and exhaled.
Mary came to stand by her and shook her head. “Why are you doing that to him?”
Pamela lifted her head and saw her mother looking at her from across her verandah.
“I don’t know,” she said. She walked away from Mary, went to the stables and got on her horse. Bareback, she rode the horse hard to the beach. Before the horse came to a complete stop she jumped off, ran to the rocky edge of the beach and sat looking out at the dark ocean, wishing she’d never met Raquel or told Saul to help her.
Under cloudy skies the next day, Saul worked. The heavy rain wasn’t far away now; he could smell it in the air. Without asking, men took time from the fields to help him. The building progressed quickly. Pamela never looked into the room so he could do whatever he wanted. He brought a gramophone from his home and placed it in the corner of the room. He knew what kind of music she liked and had brought a few vinyl records along. While the men secured the roof, he began making her a trunk, which wasn’t hard until he began carving designs on the lid. It became a project, a labor of love, as he painstakingly carved her favorite flowers, waves and birds deep into the wood.
The sun finally showed itself. He stood on the roof shirtless, breathing hard, sweat glistening on his skin. He watched Pamela walk down the mountain with the children. He squinted and watched her hips sway. She smiled, but not at him. She didn’t see him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Being apart from her like this was killing him.
The rain began to drizzle, slowly soaking the dried palm, but he didn’t notice. The sudden thunder jolted him and he turned quickly, only to lose his footing and slip from the roof. He tried to land on his feet but one foot gave way causing him to land on his arm and dislocate his shoulder. A tremendous pain shot through his shoulder and down his arm. He struggled to get up.
Pamela saw him fall and began running. “Oh, Jah,” she kept repeating. When she got to him and knelt beside him, she could see the pain registering on his face.
He saw her and lay still, his teeth grinding together. She moved over him and called his name. “Speak to me,” she said, but he said nothing.
Positioning his head to administer CPR, she held his nose and as soon as her mouth touched his, one arm came up, hugged her neck and pulled her mouth deeper into his. “Saul!” she gasped.
“You mean all I had to do was break a bone for you to notice me?” He was still holding her, but the pain had not in any way lessened.
“I never stopped noticing you. Are you hurt?”
He smiled and nodded. The pain soared through him as if someone were tearing off his arm. He tried to ignore it as he reached out his hand to touch her face, and winced as another wave of pain took hold. “It was my own fault. I should have climbed down as soon as it began drizzling.”
“Can you move?” she asked, hardly listening to what he’d said.
“I think so.” But when he tried, he couldn’t. “Help me.” He tried to get up, then looked at her face. “I never ever hit her.”
“I know.”
Within minutes he felt himself being lifted and carried. Before he realized what was happening, he was lying in Pamela’s bed and one of the village doctors was leaning over him. Maura put a pinch of herb on Saul’s tongue and in less than two minutes he was asleep.
When next Saul opened his eyes, there was no shoulder pain and his foot was bandaged. Pamela’s fingers were intertwined in his and she was looking at him. She looked tired. “How long have I been out?” he asked.
“About four hours.” She smiled. “How do you feel?”
“Like I fell off a roof.” He looked down at his foot. “What happened there?”
“Bad sprain.”
He moved his shoulder. “That works.”
“You know you popped your shoulder, right?”
“Yeah, the shoulder pain was so excruciating I didn’t feel the foot.”
She shook her head and took a deep breath. “I’ve been an ass, haven’t I?”
He nodded.
She laughed. “I deserve that. Any pain?”
He shook his head.
“You should drink this anyway.” She held the cup to his head and he sipped the bitter brew.
He tried to pull himself up in the bed and she scoffed at him. “Will you help me?” he asked, enjoying the attention he was getting from her.
“No, you have to lie like that for a little while longer. What were you doing when you fell?”
“Looking at you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re so beautiful. You took my breath away and I couldn’t move. The thunder took me by surprise.” He smiled. “I guess you could say I fell hard for you.”
“Funny man. Maura popped your shoulder back in.” She moved her hand to his cheek and gently caressed his soft skin, then moved slowly and placed her lips on his.
“Then I should be up in no time.” Saul closed his eyes and allowed the gentle feel of her mouth to take him away. He knew he should have steeled his body, but he let go, enjoying each moment. His lips slowly parted. He gently held her cheeks and deepened the kiss, causing his body to react. Blood rushed to his lower extremities making his foot, among other parts of his body, throb. “I think I need more of that pain killer,” he whispered, half smiling, half in pain.
“Okay. Maura says you should keep off the foot for a while. So you’ll have to stay here until she says it’s all right to get out of bed.” She touched his face, looked into his eyes and shook her head, then put the cup to his head once again. “You are a stubborn man,” she whispered.
“Yes.” He lifted the covers and saw that if it weren’t for his boxers, he would have been quite naked in her bed.
She looked at him and laughed. “I undressed you.”
“I have to tell you everything,” he said, holding up a hand to her protest as he told her exactly what he’d told Angel.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been such an ass,” she said.
“A pretty ass, though.”
She would have thrown a pillow at him, but she still felt sorry he was in pain.
Angel cleared her throat before she entered the room. “You’d do anything for her to talk to you, wouldn’t you?” She sat down on the chair beside the bed.
“I try my best.” He grinned.
Gracie and his children came in and Pamela went out to get him his supper. There was no bed in the new room, but the men had cleaned it. The twins were very excited to sleep on thick blankets on the floor, but Saul wouldn’t hear of it. The bed he’d had specially made for the room was sitting in his home.
Not knowing how Tim really felt about him, when he came to visit, Saul asked him if he could arrange for the bed to be brought up so that the children could sleep on it. “Anything for Pammy,” Tim said after inquiring about his health. He didn’t stay long but went about getting the bed to the room.
It was still drizzling, and there was no doubt that in a couple of days the heavy rain would start. It was the same every year. Bags of sand were settled around the houses and new drains made for the run-off.
Pamela was accompanied by Mary, Myah and Esther as she brought food into the cottage. Until the rainy days were gone, everyone would eat in their cottages.
Saul pulled himself up until he was in a comfortable position to eat. Angel and the other women ate in the living room while Pam ate with Saul.
He glanced at her. “I was having amorous thoughts of you before I fell off the roof.”
She almost choked on her food. She began laughing, and so did he. “That stuff can kill you, if you know what I mean.”
He continued laughing so hard she had to take the tray from him.
“If I’d broken any bones it would have been your fault. You were driving me insane.”
She stopped laughing and looked earnestly at him. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.” He took the tray from her hand. “This is one way of getting into your bed.”
“Do you always take the hard way out?” She began eating again.
“With you, I do what it takes.”
She shook her head.
When Saul was finished eating, Pamela took the tray from him and went into the kitchen. Angel walked in behind her. “Do you mind if I speak with Saul for a few minutes?” she asked.
“No, not at all.” She turned and looked in Angel’s eyes. “Is everything going well with Raquel?”
“Yes.” Angel turned and left the kitchen with Pamela staring after her.
Angel sat on the bed next to Saul and smiled, then sighed.
He looked at her. “Spit it out.” She pushed the pillows under his shoulder.
She shook her head. “This is not going to be easy.”
He said nothing. He just kept looking at her.
“Did you know that your wife knows witchcraft?”
He gasped. “What are you talking about?”
“She brought powders and roots to this island and is keeping them where she thinks no one can find them. She plans to do harm to either you or Pamela.”
At the mention of Pamela’s name he jerked upright. “No! How do you know this?”
“I can’t go into details...” Then she stopped talking and wrinkled her brows. “Well, in a case like this I think it best that I do. She knew of your visit to Jamaica with Pamela. A day after you left, she left the island for a couple of days. No one knew because she kept the room door locked. No one checked on her in those two days. She slipped away in the workers’ boat. Everyone was so busy no one noticed a woman with a scarf tied to her head like everyone else. She flew from Kingston to Haiti and returned the same day. She’s angry with you for throwing her over for Pamela and angry with Pamela for taking you from her...”
“But...”
“I know. Here’s the part that no one knows. She’s not all there. She’s tortured.”
“You mean she’s mad?” His eyes were large in his head as a million things ran through his brain. At the top of the list was the safety of Pamela and the children. “How long do you think she’s been tortured?” He gestured with his hand.
She shook her head. “Hard to say. Did you notice her taking any drugs when you first met her?”
He shook his head slowly, trying to remember. “No, she never did anything like that in front of me. I only noticed the drinking, which she made very obvious.”
“She was, and is, still quite clever.”
“Back up. How do you know she has these things?”
“Saul, you and Pamela asked me to do a job, remember?”
He nodded.
“She’s comfortable with me. She had a lot bottled up inside. And although she’s told me about her present marriage, she’s still under the delusion that you two belong together.”
“But she isn’t even in love with me,” he said, baffled by Angel’s words. “I found out after the children were born how much she hates our culture. This must never leave this room, but that’s why the children’s hair isn’t locked. It’s not because it can’t be locked, it’s because she didn’t want them to be a part of the culture.”
“Why didn’t you have their hair locked after she’d left?”
He shrugged. “I’m letting them choose. If they want to, they can have their hair locked.” He looked at her and knew she understood. After all, her daughter Hildie had cut off all her locks just to be like her.
Angel nodded. “I understand, but this has nothing to do with love. It has to do with possession and control. You allowed her to think for a long time that she could control you.” Angel chuckled. “You know the saying ‘don’t take my kindness for weakness?’ ”
He nodded knowingly. “By not physically fighting with her and walking away from the mental abuse, she thought I was weak.”
Angel nodded. “She still does.” Somehow she knew that he knew Raquel had taken a lover in his bed to once again emasculate him. Raquel had laughed when she’d told her that he looked like a deer in front of oncoming headlights when he’d opened the door and seen her in bed with one of his distant cousins. “He just slammed the door and left the island,” she’d said, still laughing. When Angel had asked her why she’d done it, she’d told her that Saul was always working and she had needs.
“Here is where I stop showing weakness because if she comes anywhere near Pamela or the children...” He stopped short of issuing a threat. “Do you know where she has these things?”
“No, but she’s not locked up, Saul. There’s someone standing guard outside her door, but as I said, she’s a clever woman.” She took a breath and cleared her throat.
Saul looked at her. “There’s more?”
“She’s taken to smoking ganja.”
Saul took a deep breath and looked down at his foot. “She traded one addiction for another. It’s not a crime to smoke ganja in our culture, you know that.”
Pamela came into the room and both Saul and Angel smiled at her. She scowled. “Okay, I think I know you two well enough to know that something’s wrong. What are you guys hiding from me?” She sat on the chair beside the bed.
Angel looked at Saul, whose face was hard with anger. He shook his head and looked at Pamela. Just looking at her face softened his mood. Wondering if he should tell her, he took a deep breath. The ball was in his court. Angel would not say anything to Pamela.
“It seems that my ex-wife has knowledge of witchcraft and has threatened our lives.”
Angel and Saul looked at Pamela, expecting to find her petrified. Instead, she laughed. “You must be joking.”
The two shook their heads.
“And what does she intend to do, chop our heads off, invoke spirits, sprinkle scratching powder on our food?”
Knowing what Raquel was capable of, Saul took things more seriously than Pamela. His brows drew in and his hands washed over his face. His shoulder was still sore and he winced and dropped one hand. “I need to do something. I can’t just sit here.”
“Yes, you can, and you will. Just until tomorrow,” Pamela said. “We are not afraid of Raquel. She is only one tiny foolish person, and when I say tiny, I do mean tiny. Whatever she has, whether it’s herbs or roots, we can counteract it. Don’t worry about what she’ll do. There’s nothing she can do to hurt us.” She gave a sardonic laugh. “And she says we’re backward.”
She sounded so strong and confident that Saul had to smile. In the face of danger, she certainly was no shrinking violet. “I need crutches.”
“For the rest of the day, you need to rest,” Pamela insisted.
“I haven’t finished the room.”
“Your friends will take care of that. Everything will be done.” She got to her feet. “Now you two can continue talking behind my back. I have some things to tend to.”
Saul and Angel looked at each other. They knew that when she set out to do something no one could distract her, but what was she going to do?