CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

 

He should’ve done this sooner, closer to when they’d had him over for dinner. The Parker’s deserved an explanation. They deserved an apology. He owed them so much and he’d repaid them by endangering, impregnating and then abandoning their oldest daughter. And he’d yet to offer them contrition.

“Are you going to stand there all afternoon scowling at my lawn mower?”

He didn’t know how long Mr. Parker watched him yearn for courage. He cleared his throat, shoved his hands in his pockets, and crossed the yard. Still don’t know what I’m going to say.

“I owe you an apology.” Well, that’s as good a start as any.

“Why? What exactly did you do to my lawn mower?”

He hadn’t expected to laugh. The levity eased some of his nerves.

“You don’t owe me an apology. What happened between you and my daughter was between you and Kylee.”

“I hurt her. I left Brady without a father.”

“You didn’t know.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“Why did you leave?” her father asked.

“Kylee didn’t tell you?”

“I’m asking you.”

“Threats were made against her person and her career.” He swallowed down the bitterness. “I thought it would be a few more weeks, a couple of months at most. Not another six years of my life. I thought she would forgive me.”

“Why didn’t you tell her the truth back then? You had to have known she would’ve died before breaking your cover.”

“I wanted to tell her every day. Almost did, so many times. But she got hurt, remember? I swore, no matter what, I would keep her safe. I wanted to keep her safe, even if it meant losing her forever.” He laughed. “I really hoped I wouldn’t lose her though.”

“If you had known about the pregnancy when those threats were levied, would you have stayed?”

“What?”

“If you had known about Brady when Chic threatened your family, would you have made a different choice?”

“I wouldn’t have left.”

“Even if it meant you were putting your son in danger?”

“I… I don’t know.” He hesitated. He wouldn’t have endangered the baby. If he had told her the truth, would she have understood? She would’ve. Would she have waited for me? She may have. These questions would weigh on him.

“I’m not saying you did the right thing. But what you did, you did for the right reasons. What do you think it is you need from me?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting this. Thought you’d be angry. I was prepared for angry. I’m kind of at a loss.”

“Let me ask you something. And feel free to tell me this is none of my business.” Mr. Parker put his hands in his lap. “What do you want from my daughter?”

“What I can’t have. But I’ll settle for her friendship and her forgiveness.”

“I know my girl. She’ll do her best on both counts if for no other reason than for Brady’s sake. It could be a long, hard road though. You don’t know what your leaving did to her.”

“Would you tell me?”

“I kept your confidences. Don’t ask me to break hers. I don’t think my girl feels as though she can turn to us like she used to and I’m not about to prove her right.”

I hadn’t realized her relationship with her parents had been affected. I should have, damn it, so much damage. Chic Checcio and Frank Stedman—the gifts that keep on giving.

“It’s after two, right? I promised Mary I wouldn’t drink before two in the afternoon.”

He looked at his watch. “It’s not quite one thirty yet.”

“Close enough. I want a beer. Damn kids driving me to drink. Let’s go. If she catches me, I’m less likely to get yelled at if you’re having one too.”

He smiled as he thought about how times had changed from the first time he sat in this kitchen. Then he thought about the things that hadn’t and his smile faded.

“Still thinking about that lawn mower, huh?” Mr. Parker handed him a can of beer. “I don’t know how you survived so many years undercover. Your face is like a billboard.”

“Not everybody knows me as well as you. And I’ve never felt it necessary to hide behind masks with you. You know the very best and the very worst of me. And you never judged.”

“Checcio getting locked up was all over the news. What’s next for you?”

“I was promoted, given a desk assignment, a commendation, a tidy little raise, and a small unit of agents to run. Not that any of that matters since I belted my superior and quit the day I met Brady.”

“I don’t think that was the wisest career move.”

“It did satisfy. Until I figure out my next step, I’m bartending at Devane’s. I’ve got money in savings. I won’t starve.”

“What happened to all the money Checcio paid you?”

“I wasn’t allowed to keep any of it. I lived off my DEA paycheck just like every other cop.”

“Well, that sucks.”