• “So run this by me again,” Kathy says to her friend Louise. “He’s nice or he isn’t?” She sees the friend take out a cigarette. “Hey, give me one of those. I’ve quit.”
“Me, too,” Louise says, and they both laugh. “I only smoke after meals. And coffee. And sex. And when I really need one.”
“Hell,” Kathy says, “you really have quit, haven’t you?!” She lights a Carlton and watches her friend through the smoke. They used to be real close. Oh, well. “So come on, Louise. What’s he really getting at?” Talking about her ex.
“You?”
Kathy shrugs. “You have to figure.”
“Where’s he been the last year? I asked him, and he says, Around.’ ”
“Probably in jail,” Kathy says. “Best place for him.”
“You used to say he was a hell of a man.” Louise pushes her cup around, waits to see how Kathy will answer that. They’re in a coffee shop near Fifth, people and traffic moving by outside the plate-glass window.
“Louise, heroin is a hell of a drug. Good luck.”
“You and Keith did heroin?”
“If you can think it, we did it.”
Louise blows smoke up, making a slow whistle. “Wow.”
“Please. That was then, this is now.”
“Oh, you think you’ve outgrown him?”
“I should hope so. Listen, I’m almost thirty-one. That three-oh messes with your head, let me tell you. And getting divorced. And something you don’t know. Mom’s been sick. Little stroke before Christmas. She’s all right, but it makes you think. Dad bought it when I was young. Well, you know that.”
“Terrible night.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I thought Mom would be around forever. All of a sudden I’m looking at being the adult in the family.”
Louise leans back in the chair, trying to act sophisticated, the way Kathy is acting. They used to raise such hell together. “You think you’ve outgrown me, too?”
Kathy grimaces. “Come on, Louise. I’m real busy. New job. I’m working real hard.”
“Like it, huh?”
“Sure. I get it now. I used to think, Who do these assholes think they are? Now I know. They think they’re bosses. I put myself in their place and I know exactly what they want. I do that plus a little more. Got to move on up, right?”
Louise watches her friend carefully. Kathy is different. The clothes, the makeup, the manner. Gone Manhattan. And there’s something else. Not so tough? Happier? Got to be a man.
“Moving up in Manhattan,” Louise says, a little sarcastically. They used to call themselves Jersey girls. Always sneered at the snobby bitches across the Hudson. “So who’s the new man?”
Kathy laughs. “Whoa, now you’re a psychic. There’s no new man. Come on, talk about Keith. Run it through again. He didn’t threaten you, did he?”
“No, he just stood there with his insolent, fuck-you Elvis eyes. Got this motorcycle the size of a van.”
“Harley.”
“Right, a Harley waiting in front of my building. And the first thing he says is, ‘Hi, Louise. Still got the best bod in Jersey?’ ”
Kathy laughs. “Well?”
“Well what?”
“Do you?”
“Is this funny? The man’s a lunatic. According to you.”
“But you didn’t tell him anything. And he didn’t threaten you. Or did he?”
“He’s a threat standing there. Looks me up and down, then side to side—”
“Does he ever mention me by name?”
“Once. ‘So how’s Kathy?’ Something like that.”
“Louise. Please listen to me.” Kathy rubs out the cigarette, then leans over the table. “Don’t play games with him. Don’t talk to him. Just call the police. Period.”
“Like you said, he’s a hell of a man.”
“Pleeeasse. Hey, you want to get out of here? Got enough?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Kathy places a ten and a five on the check. They put on their coats and walk outside into the cold afternoon.
“I just broke up,” Louise says. “Or I think I did. I’m a little tender.”
They walk along 43rd toward Fifth. “I get it,” Kathy says. “My ex looks like a little excitement. Believe me, that’s the way he sees himself. Mr. Excitement. Look, all I ask, please don’t help him find me. Nothing. Other than that, you’re on your own. You want somebody to fuck you for three hours and then say, ‘See ya, bitch,’ go ahead.”
Louise laughs. “Three hours?”
“The shit we did! I tell you now, you’ll be dripping in the street. I tell you, Louise, he’s probably been running drugs. If I’d stayed with him, he’d have me robbing banks.”
“How close did you get?”
“We were in Cleveland, then Cincinnati. Talked about it some. I think he’s joking. He’s not. Keith’s not much for jokes. The things you think are jokes are usually something real important to him.”
The two women walk around the corner onto Fifth. There’s a big crowd of people half a block up. An ambulance is backing slowly into the crowd.
“What the hell?” Kathy says. “Somebody got mugged right on Fifth Avenue?”
“This city! Makes me scared.”
They push into the edge of the crowd. Kathy can just make out a body sprawled on the curb. “Makes me mad.”
“Why do you want to live here?”
“Big leagues, it’s still the big leagues.” Kathy nudges a man. “What happened?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t see it. Car got out of control, ran up on the sidewalk. Got two people.”
“See,” Kathy tells Louise, “not a mugging, after all.”
“Same crazy city. Get you one way or the other.”
Kathy takes her friend’s arm. “Come on.” They walk on toward 42nd. The big library across the street. “Could happen anywhere.”
Louise studies the other woman. More composed than she remembers. “I got it,” Louise announces.
“What?”
“The reason you won’t tell me about the new man.”
“What?”
“He’s married.”
Kathy stops and faces her friend. Smiling. They’re on 42nd now, the sun slanting down on them. “I’ve got some plans. That’s all I’ll tell you. Might jinx it.”
“Oh, don’t do it, Kath. Date a married man? Are you crazy? Never works. They never leave their wives.”
Kathy stops smiling. “Oh, you think I could be some guy’s plaything? A little girl lost in the big city? You think that, Louise?”
Louise is taken aback. “Hey! I’m just worried about you.”
“Yeah, well, good. But don’t think I’m stupid. I’m not.” She softens, pats Louise’s arm. “Fact is, the more I hang around here, I realize I’m pretty damned smart. The thing is, Lou, you just have to get in the game and play. Then you find out all the other people are pretty ordinary. Come on, let’s lighten up. Walk me back to work. I’ll pay your cab back to Hoboken. Fair? Really, I appreciate you coming over here. And don’t even think about messing with Keith.”
Kathy laughs to herself.
“What?” Louise asks.
“Just thinking. Look, I’m not apologizing for anything I’ve done. Screw it. I’m not ashamed of anything. That doesn’t mean I want to do it over. I don’t want to be twenty again. Not even twenty-eight. I’ve got a new life. I think it’ll be a good one.”
Kathy stops herself. No point in bragging, making her friend jealous. But yeah, when she thinks about it, when she looks ahead, things look real good. No guarantees, everyone knows that. But hell, things look good.
Louise is staring at her. Head tilted a little. Questioning maybe. Doubting.
“Louise, listen. You’ve got good instincts. Being a nurse must do that. Yeah, there’s a married man. But he’s not that married. One of those dead-end marriages.”
Louise challenges her. “How do you know that?”
“Hey, married eight years, no kids. What’s that tell you? Look, I’ve seen them together, some big office party, before Christmas. No chemistry. So what’s the point?” Kathy shrugs, smiling intently at Louise. “No point! I really think I’m doing her a favor. She’ll get somebody more, you know, suitable. Then we’ll have four happy people. The way it ought to be, right? Anyway, my guy deserves a lot more.”
Louise laughs nervously. “You?”
“Oh, you know more than that?”
Louise starts to argue. “No, sweetie, put it here.” She raises her hand for Kathy to slap. They laugh, then they hug. “Good luck, girlfriend.” Louise smiles bravely. “I’ll keep Keith away.”
“Shoot him. He understands that. Man loves guns.”
Louise stares at her old friend. Her face confused. “You really don’t miss him? Come on, Kathy. Really?”
“Another life, Louise. We were married four years and I want to forget all but maybe a week.”
“One great week, huh?”
“Spread over four years? Nothing great about it.”
They laugh some more, crossing Fifth Avenue.