The Fantastic Tale of Miss Arney’s Doubloon

by Zach Shephard

Zach Shephard's fiction has appeared in places like Galaxy's Edge, Intergalactic Medicine Show and the Unidentified Funny Objects anthology series. He likes Halloween and Christmas more than any 34-year-old probably should, and hibernates in the summer to avoid his nemesis, the sun. With enough donuts handy, you can bribe him to do pretty much anything. For a complete bibliography of Zach's stories, check out www.zachshephard.com.

“Let’s go to Miss Arney’s house next!” Jenny said.

Nicole rolled her eyes at her cousin’s suggestion. “Miss Arney doesn’t even give out candy. If we went down Main Street we’d get tons of candy.”

“That’s not how trick-or-treating works,” Jenny said. “Walking past the shops and letting store-owners dump stuff into your bag isn’t fun. You’ve got to go to neighborhoods! To houses! To scary dark doors with spiders guarding the way!” She drew her plastic cutlass and sliced at the air, flipping her pirate-patch over her eye.

None of that sounded any good to Nicole. She just wanted to go home, cuddle up with the dog and play games on her phone. And maybe eat candy—the only good part about Halloween. Even dressing up wasn’t fun, which was why Nicole had thrown together a fortune-teller outfit from her mom’s scarves and jewelry with as little effort as possible.

But of course the other kids would want to do whatever Jenny did. After all, she was the one who’d seen a spaceship the other day—or so she’d claimed. Nicole didn’t believe her for a second. The “spaceship” was probably just a weird-looking cloud. And besides, even if aliens were real, why would they visit a tiny little town like Greensburg? They should be meeting with the President or something. It didn’t make any sense.

As expected, Nicole’s idea to go down Main Street was overruled. The group of fifth-graders, escorted by Li’s parents, made for Miss Arney’s house. They squished together on the tiny porch, kicking aside crisped autumn leaves in the darkness. Jenny rang the bell, and as the door opened, their voices carried through the cool October air:

“Trick or treat!”

Miss Arney, wearing plastic devil-horns and a shiny red cape, smiled with delight.

“Look at all of you! Such lovely costumes.”

She held out a sack. The sack. Everyone knew about the treasures you could get from Miss Arney: she had a great big collection of board games she’d played when she was younger, and every year she’d throw pawns and cards and other bits into her sack for kids to claim. The girls thrust their hands in and fished around. Nicole joined reluctantly, secretly hoping a stray peanut butter cup had made its way into the bag.

She got her fingers around something that was almost the right shape and pulled it out. It wasn’t a peanut butter cup—just a dumb coaster or something. She dropped it into her bag without giving it a second look.

Everyone thanked Miss Arney (even Nicole, who didn’t forget her manners despite her disappointment) and shuffled down the sidewalk.

“What’d you get?” Jenny asked.

“Nothing cool.”

“I got a dragon! Isn’t it awesome?” Jenny showed the figurine.

“Sure. When can we go home?”

“It’s Halloween, ’Cole! Aren’t you having fun?”

How was this fun? Things were so much better inside. Leave the trick-or-treating, softball and camping to Jenny.

“Okay,” Jenny said, flipping her patch over her eye. “If ye won’t be havin’ any fun here, we’ll try the high seas!” She grabbed Nicole’s hand.

“What are you—”

Jenny yanked them behind a bush when Li’s parents weren’t looking. She peeked down the sidewalk.

“Those scurvy dogs won’t even know we’re gone. Come on!”

Jenny pulled Nicole through a dark yard, across a street and into a field. They stopped in the middle, breathing heavily. Between moon-silvered cloud streaks, the stars shone brightly.

“We’re going to get in trouble,” Nicole said.

“Good! Pirates live for trouble. Now show us yer booty, sailor.” Jenny took the dragon figurine from her bag and made some dragon noises, which sounded to Nicole like a chicken auditioning for the opera.

Nicole pulled out the item she’d gotten from Miss Arney. The golden disc was about the size of her palm and half an inch thick.

“Yar!” Jenny said. “It be a doubloon!”

“It’s way too big for a doubloon.”

Jenny’s posture slumped in overdramatic fashion. “Use your imagination, dorkbutt. Tonight I’m a pirate, and that’s a doubloon. And you! You’re not a fortune-teller—you’re Lady Dracona, the gypsy queen cursed by Baron McSnotfart to transform into a dragon whenever you’re mad!” She swung the figurine through the air, making more noises. “Here—try it out.” Jenny gave Nicole the figurine and accepted the doubloon in exchange.

Nicole examined the dragon, but its details were lost in the dark. A moment later a golden light covered it.

“Whoa!” Jenny said. “Check it out!”

The doubloon glowed in her palms. The girls huddled over it, staring into its translucent surface. Its guts were full of circuitry, and on the surface was an animation of a twisty ladder.

“That ladder must lead to treasure,” Jenny said.

“It’s not a ladder. It’s one of those DNA things. And where’d it come from, anyway?”

“I flicked this switch on the back and everything lit up. This is the coolest thing anyone has ever gotten from Miss Arney.”

Jenny ran circles through the field, swinging the coin high and low like a ship atop stormy waves. Nicole sighed and pocketed her dragon, wishing her dad hadn’t made her leave her phone with Li’s parents.

She watched Jenny play, wondering when her cousin would get bored so they could leave. As the glowing doubloon swept through the field, Nicole noticed something in the background.

“Jenny,” she whispered, “come here.”

“What be the problem, Lady Dracona?”

“Shh! Does that bush look weird to you?” She pointed at a large, distant shape.

Jenny lifted her patch and squinted into the darkness. She shrugged.

“I don’t—wait! Did it just move?”

The girls stared. Was the bush growing? Swelling like a balloon? No—it was just the wind pushing things around. Except there was no wind.

Nicole focused on the stars behind the bush. One by one, they were covered by the expanding shape.

“Turn the doubloon off. I can’t see with the light in my face.”

Jenny flicked the switch. Right away Nicole noticed two dim lights hanging high in the bush, like reflective purple marbles.

The lights blinked.

The girls squealed. The bush expanded into a huge shape, blotting out more stars. There was a screech that put Jenny’s dragon noises to shame, followed by a loud beating of wings. The girls ran in the opposite direction.

“What the heck is that?” Nicole asked.

“Down!” Jenny tackled her to the ground, a rush of air passing over them. Nicole looked up just in time to see a dark shape soaring into the distance, rising higher and—

“Turning! It’s turning!”

The purple-eyed thing screeched, swooping back toward Nicole and Jenny. They scrambled to their feet and ran.

“Split!” Jenny yelled, pushing Nicole away. They dove and rolled in opposite directions, the dark thing coming down like a giant scythe to scrape the grass between them.

Nicole sprinted off, her heart pounding. Was Jenny okay? She checked over her shoulder and ran right into something.

Oof! She fell. Rolling onto her belly, she saw a pair of hooves before her.

“Careful, lass! It’s dangerous out here.”

Nicole looked up. The red-bearded man was like any other adult she’d ever seen, except—hooves! The legs coming out of his ragged shorts were thin but toned, and their color reminded her of the dark, polished dresser in her parents’ bedroom.

“Don’t worry,” the man said. “Cap’n Mard’s here!”

He pulled a weird-looking pistol from his holster and fired at the far-off flying thing. Nicole expected a bang and some smoke, but instead there was a static-crackle and a flash of orange light.

Two more hoof-footed people in ragged clothes came to Captain Mard’s side. All three fired laser-shots at the swooping shape. It kept its distance, diving at something in the field.

“Jenny!” Nicole said. Jenny screamed something back, just as the shape lifted her from the ground.

Nicole ran after the retreating sky-thing, her shouts competing with the sounds of laser-blasts and beating wings. Jenny’s screams faded into the distance as the dark shape carried her away.

Nicole stumbled to a halt. The laser-fire stopped. Captain Mard came up to her.

“Do you have the disc, lass?”

“It took Jenny! We have to find her. We have to—”

Captain Mard knelt and held her by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. His hands were weird: only three fingers on each, plus a big bony hook growing out the back of the left one.

“Calm down, lass. We can find your friend. But we’ll need the disc.”

Nicole sniffled, her eyes wet. “The doubloon?”

“Yes—I suppose that is how it looks. Do you have it?”

“Jenny does.”

“Bah! No matter. We can still get your friend back. I just need to know where you got the doubloon.”

Nicole pointed toward the neighborhood, half-lit with the glow-sticks and flashlights of trick-or-treaters. “Miss Arney’s house.”

“Very well. To Miss Arney’s house!”

Captain Mard insisted they go to the back door instead of the front. Miss Arney answered, still wearing her devil costume.

“Nicole!” she said. “Where’s the rest of your group? And who’re these gentlemen?”

“Something took Jenny. We need your help!”

Miss Arney looked the group over, her dark eyes framed by strands of graying brown hair. She seemed to realize this definitely wasn’t a Halloween trick.

“Come in,” she said. “I’ll get some drinks.”

They sat in the kitchen. The porch light was off and Miss Arney ignored the doorbell. She stared into her tea, digesting Nicole’s story about the doubloon.

“That wasn’t supposed to be in the sack,” Miss Arney said. “I don’t know how it got there.”

“Doesn’t matter now,” Captain Mard said. “We just need to know where you found it.”

Miss Arney scratched at a brown stain on the tablecloth, her eyes glazed by memory. “It happened a few months ago,” she said. “I was hiking in the hills when I came across an overgrown path I’d never noticed before. The sun was getting low, but I decided I could spend a few minutes exploring. At the base of a pine tree, I found the doubloon.

“It was beautiful,” she said, her face alight with wonder. “And halfway to my car, it got even better: I found the switch that lit it up. It was so gorgeous I didn’t even look away until I heard the screech.”

Nicole shivered. She knew that screech all too well.

“Something huge soared overhead, scraping the treetops. I flicked the doubloon off to kill the light and ducked into a bush. I squatted there for a long time, holding my breath and watching the sky. Everything was calm and quiet, and then, wham! The thing landed in a clearing, maybe fifty feet away. There wasn’t enough sunlight left for me to make out its shape, but I heard it sniffing about. I held my breath and didn’t move a muscle. Eventually, the thing screeched and took off. When it seemed safe to come out, I ran to my car and drove home.”

“It didn’t chase you?” Nicole asked.

“No, but that wasn’t the last I saw of it. A few days later I turned the doubloon on again. I figured I was safe at home, right? Wrong: before long I heard the screech, out in the hills. I switched the doubloon off and peeked out my window. The sun was low, but there was just enough light to see something circling the sky: a black shape against purple clouds.” Miss Arney rubbed her arms like she’d suddenly gone cold. “I never turned the doubloon on again.”

Captain Mard wagged a finger at his crew. “I knew we were close. Should have kept poking around those hills when we picked up the signal. Miss Arney, can you take us to where you found the doubloon?”

“Shouldn’t we let the police take care of this?”

“Believe me, my men can handle that beastie better than anyone else.”

Miss Arney chewed her lip. “Okay, how about this: I’ll draw you a map, but then I’m calling the police.”

“Fair enough.” Captain Mard handed her a napkin, and she started sketching.

“There,” she said, sliding the map across the table. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to use the phone.”

Miss Arney left the kitchen. Captain Mard turned the napkin in his hands, tilting his head to the side. “Do you know where this is?” he asked Nicole.

“Yeah. Jenny dragged me up there once.”

Captain Mard nodded sharply. “A moment, please.”

He exited the room. Jenny heard a brief zapping sound and a yelp. Captain Mard came back with Miss Arney in his arms, sleeping peacefully.

“Don’t suppose you know where her bedroom is, do you?” he asked. “I’d like her to be comfortable when she wakes.”

“Did you hurt her?”

“Of course not! But I couldn’t risk the police fouling things up. If we’re going to save your friend and get that doubloon back, we’ll have to do it ourselves.”

Jenny helped Captain Mard find the bedroom. They set Miss Arney down, pulled a blanket over her and left the house.

The group walked back to the field where Nicole and Jenny had activated the doubloon. Captain Mard led everyone behind some trees, where a long silver ship stood.

“Wow!” Nicole said. “It’s like a boat, but without the sails. Are you guys pirates or something?”

“Ha!” Captain Mard said. “Pirates—I like that. But no, we’re aliens.”

Aliens! Real-life aliens. And Nicole had thought this Halloween couldn’t get any weirder.

A gangway descended from the side of the ship. Everyone climbed aboard, where more of Captain Mard’s crew waited.

The ship’s engines fired up, but they didn’t sound like any engines Nicole was used to. They made a sort of swooshing sound, like waves brushing the shore.

The ship rose above the trees and lurched forward. Nicole stumbled, and Captain Mard laughed.

“Need to work on your sky-legs, lass!”

Nicole latched onto a post in the middle of the deck. Her parents had tried to make her go on a hot-air balloon once, which sounded like the scariest thing ever. This was somehow worse.

“Something wrong?” Captain Mard asked.

“We’re going to crash.”

Captain Mard laughed. “There’s nothing to fear, lass. Think of it this way: if we were in danger, wouldn’t my men be panicked?”

“I guess.”

“So look around.”

All across the deck, space-pirates were laughing and playing board games. A group at the far end performed something like a sea shanty on strange instruments. No one seemed to care they were flying.

“Go along,” Captain Mard said, moving toward a staircase in the floor. “Have a look around while I take care of some things.” He went below the deck.

This wasn’t Nicole’s idea of a good time—it was more like Jenny’s. Her cousin would’ve been right at home, running across the ship, shouting orders like she were a sea captain.

Of course—that was it! To forget about how high she was, Nicole just needed to pretend this was a seagoing ship. After all, Jenny was always telling her to use her imagination more.

Nicole closed her eyes. She listened to the accordion-style sea shanty and the churning-wave sound of the engines. She felt the ship moving as if it were rocking on the water, and she even thought she smelled salt on the air.

Everything came together in her mind. She was on a real pirate ship, sailing under a gorgeous starry sky. Waves lapped against the hull, while far-off dolphins breached and cackled in the dark.

She opened her eyes. One slow step at a time, she moved to the rail and looked out. Down below, the trees were bare. Except they weren’t trees: they were kelp, drifting on the seafloor. And the tiny town in the distance, full of twinkles from flashlights and porch bulbs, was actually a merfolk village: the trick-or-treaters there dressed as sharks and got sunken treasures instead of candy. Nicole smiled at the thought.

The ship sailed toward the hills. Nicole gazed into the imagined underwater world, her trance broken by a series of barks.

A dog! The space-pirates had a dog! Nicole ran down the stairs into the bowels of the ship, following the barks through dim, narrow corridors. After a few turns she saw an open door up ahead, on the right, an orange light coming through. Something snarled from within.

“Quiet down, you brainless beast!” It was Captain Mard’s voice, and it was followed by a crackle of electricity. The barking stopped, replaced by a whimper.

Captain Mard exited the room, closing the door and mopping his brow. He deactivated his electrified baton and stowed it in a secret panel on the wall.

“Ah!” he said, noticing Nicole down the hall and smiling. “Glad to see you’ve left your post.”

“Were you hitting that dog?”

Captain Mard laughed. “Oh, that was no dog. Just a simple beast from a planet you’ve never heard of. We’ve got a pair of them in there, and the bigger one acts up whenever it hears our favorite song. Now come along, lass—we’re surely close to the hills by now.” He draped a hand over Nicole’s shoulder and guided her down the hall. Something whimpered softly behind them.

The ship landed in a clearing on the wooded hill. Everyone disembarked and Captain Mard addressed the crew.

“Weapons ready, boys!” There was a rattle of metal as the dozen space-pirates checked their armaments. Some weapons emitted a high-pitched whine as they powered up, while others sounded like traditional Earth-guns being cocked. One space-pirate pointed his pistol skyward and shot a bright plume of flame into the night, nodding to himself in approval.

Nicole led the way. They climbed a slope and came to a wall of bushes, taller than the tallest space-pirate. She pushed twigs aside and ventured into a narrow, tree-strangled path.

It was dark and eerily quiet. Nicole struck up conversation to break the silence.

“Your doubloon isn’t really a coin, is it?” she asked. “It looked like a computer or something.”

“Very observant!” Captain Mard said. “The doubloons are data discs. Each contains the genome of an alien species—all the information our machine needs to create life.”

“Do you have one for humans?” Nicole asked. “Can you make people?”

Captain Mard laughed. “Don’t you worry, lass. We only deal in exotic beasts. Galactic circuses pay out the nose for attractions from other solar systems.”

Nicole thought about how poorly most Earth circuses treated their animals. Then she remembered the thing on the ship, getting zapped by Captain Mard’s baton. It made her want to hug her dog.

The trees became less dense and everyone was able to stand straight. Nicole slipped around a rock the size of a recliner, brushing ferns as she passed.

“Why’d you come to Earth?” she asked. “Are you here for more animals?”

“Ha! Far from it. If people saw Earth animals, they’d come looking for Earth. My crew’s the only one to stumble across this rock, and we’d like to keep it that way. Unknown planets are nice places for conducting business.”

“If no one knows you’re here, how’d you lose your doubloons?”

“One of the beasties we cooked up got away. Darned rascal snatched the doubloons on his way out.”

The sky thing! Nicole thought. With its purple-marble eyes and terrible screech. The thing that had Jenny. Gosh—she hoped her cousin was okay.

The trees thinned enough to reveal a cloud-striped sky. Ferns and shrubs gave way to dirt and fallen pinecones. Nicole led everyone uphill.

“I think we’re almost there,” she said. “I haven’t been this far before, but—Jenny!”

The pirate-costumed girl stopped in her tracks. She flipped up her eye patch, spotted the group and came skipping down.

Nicole charged uphill and threw her arms around her cousin.

“You’re alive! How’d you escape?”

Jenny pulled back from the hug. “Escape? Oh—it’s not like that. I’m just exploring. Gerald’s super nice.”

“Who’s Gerald?”

“The big scary winged thing! Except he’s not actually scary. He just wanted his doubloon back.”

Captain Mard butted in: “Our doubloon. Where’s this Gerald character?”

Jenny pointed to a cave up the hill.

“Thanks, lass.” Captain Mard turned to his crew. “All right, boys—let’s do this!” They drew their weapons.

“Wait!” Jenny said, blocking their way. “You’re not going to hurt Gerald, are you?”

Captain Mard sighed, in the condescending-but-patient way adults sometimes do. He bent down to Jenny’s eye-level. “Gerald may seem nice, but he’s just a witless beast. And a thieving one, at that. You’re lucky he didn’t chomp you.”

“He’s not witless. If you’re taking guns up there, you’ll have to go through me.” She crossed her arms.

Captain Mard beckoned two of his men over. “Take them back to the ship. I don’t want anyone fouling things up.”

The space-pirates approached. One was bald except for a ponytail atop his head, while the other had a red complexion and a jaw so square he looked like a brick.

“Come along,” Ponytail said, taking Nicole gently by the arm. Brick got some resistance from Jenny, but she was half his size and couldn’t do much. They escorted the girls back to the path while Captain Mard’s group began their ascent.

“They’re not going to kill Gerald, are they?” Jenny asked.

“Not if they can avoid it,” Ponytail said. “We don’t have anything against him—we just want our doubloons back.”

Jenny let out a relieved breath, relaxing enough for Brick to let her walk freely. “I think we’re okay then. Gerald wouldn’t start a fight—he’s too cool for that. You’ve got to meet him, ’Cole. He’s like a pterodactyl, but all splotchy black and orange, with a huge crocodile tail. And he’s smart! He built a machine that lets him talk, and I used it to make my voice sound like a dinosaur’s. So cool.”

“Wait,” Brick said, stopping the group. “Did he build any other machines?”

“Sure. He’s got all sorts of junk up there.”

“Does he have anything with a slot the size of the doubloon?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

Brick rubbed his huge, square chin. He took Ponytail aside to confer.

“What’s the deal?” Jenny whispered to Nicole.

“The doubloons are data discs. They’re worried Gerald built a machine that can read them. I don’t like this, Jenny. We’ve got to get out of here.”

“We could jet now, while they’re talking.”

“We’d never outrun them. Just try to come up with a plan while we walk.”

The journey resumed. Nicole wracked her brain the entire way, looking for a plan that could set them free. What did she know about the space-pirates? They had hooves for feet and hooks on their hands; they played board games while sailing and treated animals poorly. But how could she use any of that? She squeezed her eyes shut. Think! There had to be something!

They reached the ship and ascended the gangplank.

“Any ideas?” Jenny whispered.

“No,” Nicole said. “I just—wait!”

They’d reached the deck, where Nicole saw the instruments the space-pirates had used for their sea-shanty.

“I think I’ve got a plan,” she said. “No time to explain. Just be ready when something happens.”

The space-pirates escorted them below the deck, into the narrow corridors. Nicole whistled a tune.

“Hey,” Ponytail said, “that’s our favorite song!” He and Brick started singing along, dancing as they walked, their hooves clopping against the metal floor. Before long, an animal’s barking carried through the ship.

“Miserable beast!” Brick said. “We’d better go quiet him down.”

They took a left into the corridor where the animal’s room was located. When they reached the door Nicole pulled the dragon figurine from her pocket, swinging it through the air and doing her very best to imitate Jenny’s bestial roars.

“What’ve you got there?” Ponytail asked.

“A game piece.”

“Really!” Brick said, exchanging an excited look with his partner. “From what game?”

“Jenny could probably tell you more about it.” She handed Brick the dragon. He examined it with the wonder of a kid who’d dug up buried treasure. Jenny, catching Nicole’s wink, made up all sorts of rules for a game she’d never played. Both space-pirates listened intently.

Nicole edged toward the wall, inching out of her captors’ vision. If she made any sudden movements, they might look her way, and they’d surely know what she was up to. One step at a time. Just a little closer . . .

Brick looked up from the figurine.

“Hey! Stay away from there!”

Nicole lunged the final distance, opened the secret panel on the wall and whipped out the electric baton. She flicked its switch and pointed its crackling end at Brick, stopping him in his tracks.

“Careful with that thing,” he said, his hands raised in surrender. “You could hurt someone.”

“Jenny,” Nicole said, “get their weapons.”

“Way ahead of you.” Jenny was already pulling Ponytail’s handgun from his holster. She took Brick’s next.

“Where were you going to put us?” Nicole asked.

“That room,” Ponytail said. “End of the hall, on the left.”

“Cool. Lead the way.”

The girls escorted the space-pirates to the room. They shuffled their prisoners inside the cell at the back and locked the door, then returned to the corridor. Nicole scooped her dragon figurine off the floor and pocketed it.

“We’ve got to save Gerald,” Jenny said.

“Not before we free the animals here,” Nicole replied.

She opened the door from which the barking had come. Inside was a room with a hot orange light and two big cages, and inside those cages were the most beautiful creatures Nicole had ever seen.

They had the bodies of tigers and heads of zebras. Their coats were striped in different colors: one sparkled blue and gold, like ocean waves and pirate booty; the other, snarling and barking through its zebra mouth, was the same purple and pink as Nicole’s gypsy scarves.

Nicole realized she was still holding the baton that had been used to zap those poor animals. She tossed it aside and the snarling stopped. Both zebra-cats wagged their tails and hopped around like excited puppies.

Nicole dug into her pocket for some candy and unwrapped a mini Milky Way bar. She offered it through the bars to the purple and pink animal.

It gobbled the snack up, its wet sponge of a tongue licking Nicole’s hand and making her giggle. The thing smacked its lips like a dog with peanut butter on its teeth.

Nicole gave some candy to Jenny, who fed the other animal. Soon enough, both zebra-cats were panting happily.

“I’m letting mine out,” Nicole said. She did, and was immediately slurped on the face by a sloppy tongue. Jenny followed suit with similar results.

“Let’s get going,” Jenny said. “Gerald needs us!”

The girls sped through the corridors with their new friends in tow. They disembarked from the ship. Nicole looked up the hill, letting out a big breath. “This is a lot of climbing for one day.”

“Pshaw!” Jenny said. “Climbing’s for suckers!”

Nicole turned to see her cousin sitting triumphantly atop the blue-and-gold zebra-cat.

“What’re you waiting for?” Jenny asked. “Get moving!”

Nicole mounted her own new friend, and they tore up the hill.

Those things were fast! Nimble, too—they darted from side to side, avoiding trees and branches like they were dodging bullets. Nicole kept her head low, a tuft of fur in either hand, her eyes narrowed against the wind.

“I’m going to name you Crystal,” she said, “like a gypsy’s crystal ball.” Her mount barked happily.

In no time at all they reached the cave mouth, where the zebra-cats stopped for a breather. Jenny pulled out her stolen guns, a determined look on her face.

“Are you crazy?” Nicole asked. “Our parents would kill us if they knew we were running around with guns.”

“Well what do you think we should do?”

“You said Gerald wouldn’t pick a fight, right? I don’t think the pirates would either—they just want their doubloons back. We can probably talk to Captain Mard and work something out. But if you run in there shooting lasers all over the place, it’ll ruin everything.”

“Ugh, fine.” Jenny tossed the weapons aside. “You ready to do this, Lady Dracona?”

“You bet, Pirate Queen.”

The cave was dark, but the tunnel at the back glowed faintly yellow. Jenny led the way, her zebra-cat pawing quietly.

The tunnel was huge. It bent to the right almost immediately, and around the curve Nicole saw the source of the light: lamps on the ground, connected by long cables.

They continued on. After two more twists of the tunnel, Nicole heard something up ahead.

“That crackle! It sounds like the captain’s gun.”

“And that’s Gerald’s screech!” Jenny said. “Hurry!”

The zebra-cats sprinted. Soon enough the tunnel opened into a well-lit cavern with machines and parts stacked throughout. The place was the size of an NBA arena, with a crack in the ceiling big enough to fly a helicopter through.

At the far end was Gerald, exactly as Jenny had described: a pterodactyl with a crocodile’s tail, all splotchy black and orange. He swooped around the cavern, avoiding laser-blasts from the pirates who took cover behind junk piles and machines.

“Sorry, Nicole,” Jenny said, “but I don’t think they’re willing to talk.”

She flipped down her eye patch and shouted a war-cry, charging toward Gerald’s side of the cavern. Nicole tried to follow but couldn’t control Crystal: the zebra-cat veered to the right, barking and snarling, making a straight line for the man who’d caged and shocked it.

Captain Mard, huddled behind a machine that looked like a NASA command console, saw the purple-pink blur coming. He swung his gun and fired an orange blast that hit the ground at Crystal’s feet. Rocks exploded upward and Nicole was flung from her mount, rolling into the cavern wall. She smacked her head, and everything went black.

When she came around, the battle was still raging. It looked like she’d only been out a few seconds—maybe a minute, tops—but things had gotten ugly since then. Jenny zipped around on her mount, trying to avoid the crossfire. Gerald was backed into a far corner, no longer airborne, guarding a mound of bright doubloons. As Nicole rubbed her sore head and regained her footing, the space-pirates organized into a tight group that advanced on the pterodactyl. Jenny swung her mount around and stood before Gerald.

“There’s no need for you to get involved,” Captain Mard said. “Just step aside so we can put this thing out of its misery.”

“You don’t have to hurt him!” Jenny said.

“As long as he’s around, our doubloons won’t be safe. Now move out of the way, or you’re going down with him!”

Nicole had to do something. The pirates were far away and not facing her, so she had the chance to act without being seen.

She looked to the console where Captain Mard had been. Nearby, on the ground, was the flame-spewing pistol that had been tested before everyone journeyed up the hill. She ran over and picked it up.

With the space-pirates clustered so closely, Nicole could probably hit them all at once. But she couldn’t set anyone on fire—what a terrible thought! There had to be some other way.

“I’m giving you thirty seconds,” Captain Mard said to Jenny. “If you haven’t moved by then, you’ve chosen your own fate.”

Nicole’s mind scrambled. If she couldn’t use the pistol, there had to be something else. The console, maybe—but what did it do?

She couldn’t read the symbols on the sliders and buttons, but she did recognize something that looked like a microphone. This must have been the machine Jenny had told her about—the one that let Gerald talk, and turned Jenny’s voice into a dinosaur’s.

“Ten seconds!” Captain Mard said.

Nicole felt the dragon figurine in her pocket. Use your imagination, she thought.

“Five seconds!”

Nicole found a big red knob that could only be the machine’s volume control. She cranked it all the way up, grabbed the microphone and ran into an unlit side-tunnel.

“Four! Three! Two!”

Aiming the fire-pistol at the tunnel mouth, Nicole unleashed a huge jet of flame into the cavern.

“Stand down, alien scum!” she said into the microphone, her amplified dinosaur-voice shaking the rock walls. “Or suffer the wrath of Lady Dracona!”

She shot more fire into the cavern, then released the trigger and peeked out from the darkness of her tunnel.

“A dragon!” Captain Mard said, dropping his gun and stumbling backward. “This crazy beast used our doubloons to make a dragon! No fortune is worth our lives, boys—I’m done with this planet. Run!”

The space-pirates sprinted to the main tunnel and disappeared. Nicole ran from the shadows to meet Jenny.

“That was you, ’Cole?”

“Of course not. That was Lady Dracona!” Nicole shot a brief flame-jet into the air.

Gerald stared at Nicole with those shiny purple eyes. He held up a finger on his wing, as if requesting her patience.

The pterodactyl waddled over to the machine Nicole had used. He placed a sort of mechanical crown on his head, plugged it into the machine and fiddled with some controls.

“Thank you, friend Nicole,” a voice said. It came from the machine, accented in British. “Your quick thinking saved not only us, but also the poor animals that would have been crafted from the information in those doubloons.”

“I’m just glad I could help. What’s going to happen to the doubloons now?”

“Ideally, I’d like to deliver them into the hands of someone trustworthy. Someone who will use the information to preserve these beautiful species, rather than enslave them. There are surely races beyond the stars that would do such a thing, but—unfortunately—I haven’t yet built a machine capable of interstellar travel. This may take some time.”

“So you’re going to stay here and work on it?”

“If you two would be so kind as to keep my secret, yes.”

The girls jumped with joy, assuring Gerald they’d never tell anyone about the genius space-pterodactyl living in the cave. Their celebration was interrupted when a big, spongy tongue assaulted Nicole.

“Crystal! You’re okay!” She hugged the zebra-cat’s neck. It barked and wagged its tail.

“Now,” Gerald said, “it’s time we got you two home. Your parents must be worried sick.”

“Can I ride Crystal?” Nicole asked. “It’d be faster!”

“Perhaps next time. For now, I must insist we employ an even quicker method of travel.” He removed the headset and spread his wings wide, exposing his belly.

“Oh my gosh,” Jenny said. “This part is the best!” She climbed into Gerald’s belly-pouch like he was a giant kangaroo. “Wait,” she said then, “this won’t work. ’Cole’s afraid of heights.”

Nicole thought back to the pirate ship, with the kelp-trees and merfolk village down below.

“Nicole might be,” she said, “but Lady Dracona isn’t!” She climbed inside with Jenny, and whoosh! They were up and away, through the crack in the cavern’s ceiling, climbing way up high.

They soared over the countryside, screaming with delight as the wind rushed their faces. Below, the land was a patchwork of blue and black, half-lit by the moon. Tiny trees and fences zipped by, while beetle-sized cows glanced up curiously.

“Look!” Nicole yelled. “Mister Weston’s scarecrow! I think it just waved at us!”

“It totally did!” Jenny replied.

They laughed and cheered the whole way, these witches riding the sky on a magical Halloween night.