The week after Christmas flew by. Seth didn’t hold himself to a strict work schedule. He was enjoying his time with Tia too much. But he did spend a couple of hours a day fundraising for the humanities center he was planning to build. Tia called some of her wealthier associates in the movie industry too, and most were so relieved to hear from her they were overly generous in contributing, especially Christian Allen, her costar from Expect the Worst. Seth planned to make the building itself into a work of art and have the names of all the donors who’d given a certain amount featured in a colorful banner going up one side, so that helped to encourage donations, too. Everyone liked to be recognized for doing a good deed.
By the thirty-first, they’d been able to raise four million dollars. According to the architects and contractors Seth had talked to, he needed twenty, so he still had a long way to go, but he was willing to contribute a sizable amount himself, so he had a great start.
Between going running every day, cooking, enjoying the pool and hot tub, and watching movies with Tia, he also managed to finish The Businessman. Once he could concentrate on it, it took only one night. To make up for how long he’d made his client wait, he borrowed Cal’s truck and took Tia with him to San Francisco to deliver it in person. The attorney who’d requisitioned it—a Mr. Li Chen—was so excited he even made a donation for the humanities center.
“I think I’ll create something special for the entrance to the building and sell signed, limited-edition prints to help raise the rest of the money,” Seth said as they drove away from the attorney’s house.
Although Tia was wearing her beanie and her sunglasses with a sweater and a pair of jeans, she hadn’t bothered with her scarf. She seemed to be growing less self-conscious about her scars every day. “That’s a great idea! Then, people who aren’t rich can contribute, too, and have something special to show for it.”
The painting he’d done of her came to mind. It was still covered with a cloth and hidden behind another canvas at Maxi’s, so she hadn’t seen it, but he was keenly aware of it. Easily the best thing he’d created in some time, it seemed like a prime candidate for the humanities center—at least in some regards. He’d met Tia in Silver Springs. She’d helped make the building a reality. And prints of such a beautiful and sensual woman would be broadly appealing.
But he was strangely reluctant to share it with the world. Despite being purely conceptual, it was somehow too private. He would feel oddly exposed—and he didn’t care to discover why.
“I’m starving,” she said. “Where are we going for dinner?”
“I thought I’d take you to Scoma’s on the wharf. It’s where Boudin started—if you’ve heard of that restaurant.”
“I haven’t.”
“They’re famous for their crusty sourdough bread.”
“I love sourdough bread.”
“Me, too. Scoma’s isn’t overly fancy, but it’s been around since the midsixties, and the food is consistently delicious. Do you like scallops?”
“Sometimes. Depends on how they’re cooked.”
“You have to try them at Scoma’s. The shrimp pasta, too.”
“I’m down for that.”
He turned toward the water. “Are you afraid of being recognized? Would you prefer we get it to go so that we can eat on the wharf?”
She didn’t look too pleased with that suggestion. “It’s pretty cold outside.”
“We could eat in the truck.”
“On New Year’s Eve?”
“I’m willing to do whatever makes you comfortable.”
She frowned at her jeans. “Am I dressed nice enough for indoor dining?”
They’d chosen to be comfortable for the long drive. “We might be slightly underdressed but only because it’s New Year’s. The restaurant is more about the fresh seafood it serves than the ambience. It’s very casual.”
“Then, let’s risk it,” she said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been out to eat.”
“Okay,” he said and took her hand.
Seth was right about Scoma’s. Tia didn’t feel out of place, and if the host who’d seated them recognized her, he didn’t let on. He was an older gentleman—not part of the movie’s main demographic—so maybe he hadn’t even seen it.
“Everything looks good,” she said as she browsed the menu. It felt wonderful to be dining out again, especially with Seth. For the first time in her life, she understood how all-consuming love could be. He treated her as though he cared about her, too. Even the way they’d made love had somehow grown more meaningful. But he hadn’t made any promises. Although she’d told herself not to worry about that, to let it come naturally and just live in the moment, there were times when she was afraid she’d unwittingly pulled the pin out of a grenade and was still standing there, holding it.
Seth pointed out the menu items he felt were best, and they ordered, but before their food could come, a woman and a man, who were being guided to a table just beyond theirs, noticed them and suddenly stopped.
“Oh, my gosh!” the woman cried.
Assuming she was about to encounter an excited fan that might alert the whole restaurant to her presence, Tia stiffened. But the woman wasn’t gaping at her; she was gaping at Seth.
“Is it really you?” she asked. “It’s been so long!”
If Tia hadn’t known Seth as well as she was coming to know him, she might not have noticed the subtle tightening around his eyes and mouth that suggested he wasn’t happy to encounter these people, especially because he smiled warmly and immediately got to his feet to give her a hug and shake the hand of the man standing beside her. “Amy. Serge. How are you both?”
“We’re good,” Amy replied. “It’s you we’ve been worried about. We haven’t heard from you since Shiloh died. What’s it been? Three years?”
“My work has been...crazy,” Seth said, lamely.
The woman’s eyes cut immediately to Tia. “Is this your new wife?”
“No. This is...this is just a friend,” he replied.
Amy covered her mouth, obviously embarrassed by the gaffe. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “We didn’t recognize you from behind, but we saw you when you came in and...” She let her words fade away. They’d been holding hands when they came in. That was what she was trying to say. It wasn’t her fault she’d assumed there was some romantic interest. They’d given the impression they were seeing each other.
Tia had been under that impression, too. They’d spent almost every minute together for the past few weeks. They’d slept together, ate together, visited his family together. They’d even done the fundraising for the humanities building together. The only time they’d been apart was when Seth was working and she was taking care of the houseplants or Kiki.
Her mind flashed back to the diamond earrings he’d given her for Christmas—the earrings she was wearing now—and she knew she’d been right to feel some suspicion. He was trying to use his money to compensate for what he couldn’t or wouldn’t give of his heart.
Suddenly, it sounded as if Tia had a helicopter inside her head that drowned out everything else. Whoosh...whoosh...whoosh... She’d been so stupid! She’d allowed herself to believe things had changed when they hadn’t.
Suddenly she realized the woman was holding out her hand. Tia seemed to have blacked out for a moment, and now everything was moving in slow motion. You can get through this, she told herself. You’re an actress—so act.
Forcing a broad smile, she accepted Amy’s hand and then her husband’s. “How nice to meet you both. Yes, Seth and I don’t mean anything to each other at all.” She laughed as if it was a joke, and they did, too. “How do you know him?”
“Shiloh was my best friend,” Amy said. “We moved to San Francisco about the same time and didn’t know anybody else when we met at a Zumba class.” She smiled nostalgically. “We hit it off immediately and later found out that we lived only two streets apart. I’m an interior designer, so I helped decorate her house, and she dragged me into all of her do-good schemes, like saving the feral cats in the neighborhood. I’m still doing that, by the way,” she added for Seth’s benefit.
Seth was too quiet, but Tia ignored that. She just had to get through the next few minutes without making a scene, she told herself.
“Are you an artist, too?” Serge asked Tia.
“No. I’m an actress. Or...I used to be.”
“You’re not Tia Beckett...”
At this point, she was grateful they’d recognized her because it swung the conversation in a more bearable direction—and that said a lot. “Yes.”
“I saw Expect the Worst,” he said. “It was wonderful.”
“Oh, I loved that movie!” Amy added. “I think it should win an Academy Award.”
Tia felt no warmth from the compliment. It was almost as if she was standing to the side, watching what was going on at the table instead of participating in it. “I guess we’ll find out in January if I’m nominated or not.”
Amy turned to Seth. “So...how did you meet a movie star?”
When Seth hesitated, Tia couldn’t help jumping in. “We were introduced by a mutual friend just after my accident.” She figured that explained it simply enough.
“You were in an accident?” Amy asked.
“Yes. That’s what happened to my face.”
“Oh! I’m so sorry. I hadn’t heard.”
“No problem,” Tia said. “Bad things happen sometimes. I’m sorry you lost your best friend. Shiloh was obviously an incredible person.”
“She was,” Amy agreed. “So special.”
“No wonder Seth can’t get over her,” Tia said. “If you will excuse me, I have to use the restroom. Why don’t the two of you sit down and join us?”
“Really?” Amy said.
Seth’s gaze cut to Tia—it was obvious he didn’t want that to happen—but she didn’t back down. “Of course. We’d love it!”
“Okay,” Serge said, and Tia slid out so they could take her side of the booth.
“I’ll be right back,” she promised. But she didn’t go to the restroom. She walked out of the restaurant and into the jumble of tourists crowding the wharf.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she hurried along. She’d left her coat behind. But she couldn’t feel the cold. She couldn’t feel anything.
At some point, once she was well away from the restaurant and didn’t have to worry about Seth coming after her, she used her phone to call a cab and had it take her to the airport.
Seth knew he’d made a huge mistake as soon as the words This is just a friend were out of his mouth. But he’d been taken off guard seeing Amy after so long. She was so strongly associated with Shiloh; it had jerked him back three years. And once he’d said what he’d said, he hadn’t been able to gain his footing enough to figure out how to fix it—not in the moment.
Knowing Tia was upset, he kept looking over his shoulder toward the bathroom. He did it so often that Amy noticed and said, “Do you want me to go check on her?”
“Would you, please?”
“Of course.”
She circumvented Serge and strode down toward the entrance. While she was gone, the waiter brought the food he and Tia had ordered, but Seth had completely lost his appetite. He tried to keep up small talk with Serge, but even that was impossible. For the most part, he just sat there, feeling sick inside, as he waited for Amy to bring Tia back.
But when she returned, Tia wasn’t with her.
“She’s not in there,” she said, alarmed. “I asked the host if he’d seen her, and he said she walked out right after we were seated.”
The pressure on Seth’s chest was so great it felt as though an elephant had just sat on it. “Walked out?”
“Yeah. And he hasn’t seen her since.”
“You’ll have to excuse me.” Seth threw two hundred bucks on the table and hurried out after her. Where would she go? he asked himself. How would he find her?
He used his phone to call her, but she didn’t pick up. Her voice mail came on.
“Hello! This is Tia. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
“Tia, I’m sorry,” he said. “Please...come back. Let’s talk about it. I didn’t mean... It caught me off guard, that’s all. I was stupid. I’m sorry.”
His heart was racing when he gazed out over the crowded wharf and didn’t see her. He jogged to Pier 39, which was the most popular pier, checking faces as he ran, and when he got there, stood on a wooden bench and searched the sea of people for her beanie.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t there. It was crazy to think he’d be able to find her even if she was still at the water’s edge. The piers ran from 1 to 45. She could be anywhere.
He checked his phone. She hadn’t called back.
He tried a message. I’m so sorry. Please answer your phone. Don’t leave like this.
Again, there was no response. All he could do was continue to search. He looked for over two hours, walking up and down each pier and checking every store and restaurant.
He kept texting and calling her, too.
But she wouldn’t pick up.
Tia refused to allow herself to think of anything except what she had to do next.
After she landed in Burbank, she had to take a rideshare to Maxi’s.
Once she got to Maxi’s, she would have to pack her clothes and write out detailed instructions for Seth to be able to take proper care of Kiki. But he’d watched her and helped her enough with Maxi’s bird that she had no doubt he’d be able to do it. Maxi would be back before too long, anyway.
She also refused to let herself feel anything.
She refused to picture Seth sitting at the restaurant where she’d left him, wondering where she’d gone.
She refused to imagine how much she was going to miss Kiki and Silver Springs and Aiyana.
She’d been a fool to let herself get so involved with a man who wasn’t emotionally accessible. She’d known the danger from the beginning, and yet she’d still pulled the pin from that grenade.
And now it had exploded.
But all she could do was pick up the pieces and, once again, try to move on. She wasn’t sure how she would do that. She was out of her depth.
You’ll figure it out. Just put one foot in front of the other.
That was how she’d gotten through everything else, wasn’t it?
Except the accident.
It was Seth who’d pulled her through that.
After her Uber driver dropped her off, she rushed into Maxi’s house and threw her clothes and other belongings into her suitcase. The flight from San Francisco to LA had only taken an hour, but she’d had to wait quite a while before she could even get on a flight, and it’d taken almost two hours to reach Silver Springs from LA once she landed. If Seth had left San Francisco after eating with his friends at Scoma’s, and it was a six-hour drive to bring Cal’s truck back, he should arrive around midnight.
She’d only be two hours ahead of him, and she was definitely hoping to be gone when he arrived.
She should’ve left well before Christmas—as soon as she felt herself falling in love with him.
After she carried her suitcase out of the house, she removed the expensive diamond earrings he’d given her, returned them to the velvet box they’d come in and set them out along with the mirrored trees, instructions for Kiki and a note that she hoped would be the last communication they’d ever need to have.
Then she went to the atrium to feed Kiki, just in case Seth didn’t get back as soon as she thought he would.
“You’re going to be okay in Seth’s hands,” she told the bird as she poured fresh birdseed into the feeder. “He’ll take good care of you. I’ll alert Maxi that I’ve left, too, so he can follow up and make sure of it.”
As usual, the bird was more interested in playing than eating. Kiki was smart enough to realize that the food stayed even after her human friend was gone, so Tia started throwing the ball. “I can’t hang out for very long,” she told Kiki, but she spent twenty minutes playing with Maxi’s parrot anyway, just because she wanted to be fair and do her part, before adding some extra pumpkin seeds to Kiki’s feed, for good measure.
“I have to go now,” she told the bird. “I know you don’t like Seth as much as me, but Maxi will be back before you know it.”
She was just letting herself out when Kiki squawked as though she was distressed and said, “I love Tia.”
The bird had learned what she’d been trying to teach her all along? Anyone with any knowledge of parrots would say Kiki had no understanding of what she said. She was just mimicking what she’d been painstakingly taught the past few weeks. Tia understood that. But it brought tears to her eyes, anyway.
“Thank you, Kiki,” she murmured. “That’s exactly what I needed to hear. Happy New Year.”