Seth had assumed Tia had an unremarkable background. There’d been nothing to indicate otherwise. But he supposed he shouldn’t have taken that for granted. He’d had nothing but her looks and current situation to judge by—two things that could easily be deceiving. She was so beautiful and had met with so much success in such an unlikely industry. It was shocking to learn what she’d had to sacrifice just to live in LA and pursue her dream.
Learning about her background gave him a newfound appreciation and respect for who she was as a person. In some ways, she hadn’t had it any easier than he had.
“You’ve grown quiet,” she said as they got out of the hot tub.
He checked as much of the yard as he could see in the dark—fortunately, all seemed well—as he handed her a towel. “I’m just thinking.”
“About...”
“You.”
She seemed surprised that he would be so direct. “What about me? Did I shock you too much?”
“No. You taught me a valuable lesson—one I shouldn’t have needed to learn.”
“What lesson is that?”
“Not to make assumptions about people. When you told me you grew up on a farm—well, that’s about as normal, wholesome and all-American as you can get.”
“The wholesome part is still true,” she said jokingly.
He cleared his throat. “The normal part isn’t.”
“I typically leave what I say about my past right there for just that reason.”
“You’re hoping people will accept it and not look any closer.”
“Of course. Because that’s when the illusion unravels.”
“I can’t imagine you wearing a long dress with an apron and a bonnet to cover your hair.”
“There’s nothing more American than religious freedom,” she quipped.
“I support that. It’s just strange to think that something meant to be good—religion—can also act like a spider’s web.”
She hugged her towel closer. “That’s a good analogy.”
“Growing up I was jealous of those kids who had the type of family who attended church every Sunday.”
“Religion can be a blessing.”
“But it’s not for you.”
“Not after what I’ve been through.”
“I understand, and I hope you know that I won’t tell anyone what you told me tonight,” he said as he used his flashlight to light the way.
“Except your family?” she teased.
“Including my family. We’ve both seen that they aren’t very good at keeping secrets,” he added with a laugh.
She chuckled with him. “They mean well.”
“They do.” He stopped at the door and turned to face her. “Can I ask you something?”
She seemed startled by the question. “What?”
“What does beauty mean to you?”
Her eyes widened as she groped for a response. “Beauty is...a lot of things, I guess. Is this a trick question?”
“No. I’m looking for your honest opinion.”
“Okay, well...integrity is a form of beauty, I suppose. Sacrifice. Summoning the strength to conquer a big challenge. Fighting to the death and never giving up—for the right reason. Making a difference in the world. How philosophical do you want to get?”
“No need to go overboard. I just want to make sure that...”
“What?” she prodded.
“That you understand it has very little to do with a pretty face.”
“You’re pointing out that those other options are still available to me.”
“No,” he said. “I’m saying you’ve already got those things nailed. So...what happened to your face doesn’t really matter. That’s not what I see when I look at you. And if that’s what other people see—they’re missing out on something even more beautiful.”
He opened the door for her, but the moment he followed her into the house, she turned, slid her arms around his neck and rose on tiptoe to press her lips against his. “Good night,” she murmured as she pulled away.
His head and his arms were full of her, and he didn’t want to let go. He’d hoped what she’d already given him would be enough, but the fact that they’d made love several times only made his desire grow stronger. “You’re sleeping in your own bed tonight?” he asked when she pulled away to leave him.
She hesitated. “Is that an invitation?”
“It is,” he murmured.
She stared at her bare feet for several seconds before looking up at him. “I can’t sleep with you again.”
Disappointment hit him harder than he’d expected it to. “Why not?”
Her chest lifted as she drew a deep breath. “Because I’m falling in love with you,” she replied.
He didn’t know what to say. They’d become what he considered good friends. They’d been there for each other during a difficult time; they’d confided in each other and supported each other. Already, he admired her, cared about her, wanted what was best for her. And there was no question that they were good together in a physical sense. But...
When she gave him a second before walking away, he could tell she was hoping he’d stop her.
He wanted to. He couldn’t. That would be too selfish. He couldn’t risk hurting her. His heart belonged to Shiloh.
It would always belong to Shiloh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and she cast him a sad smile before going upstairs.
Seth couldn’t sleep that night. He kept listening for footsteps outside his door, hoping Tia would join him despite what she’d said earlier. She’d accepted the terms he’d offered before. But deep down he knew she wouldn’t be able to accept them tonight, and he couldn’t let himself go to her, either.
After a couple of hours spent tossing and turning, he went upstairs and tried to work, but he couldn’t concentrate and soon found himself staring at the picture he’d created of Tia, wanting to be with her all the more.
Finally, he cleaned up and returned to the first floor, where he ordered Expect the Worst on Apple TV and started watching it using headphones so that it wouldn’t wake her.
The movie was quirky and clever. He especially enjoyed the dialogue, but watching her fall in love with the man on the screen felt strange, even though he had no claim on her. And he certainly hadn’t anticipated how the love scenes would affect him.
At one point he got up and started to pace around the room just to blow off some sexual energy. Already, he knew her kiss, her body and how she liked to be touched, and while he didn’t enjoy seeing another man touching her in that way, it reminded him of what he was missing.
Finally, he turned it off. He knew if he didn’t, he’d go upstairs to her room, and he’d already decided he couldn’t do that.
To distract himself, he surfed the web on his phone. At first, he was reading sports articles, but before long his thoughts reverted back to Tia, and he entered her real name—Sarah Isaac—into his browser just to see what might come up.
Only links about random women with the same name populated his screen. So he started to search Mennonites and Mennonites of Iowa to learn more about what she’d been taught as a child. He couldn’t believe that she’d been someone else, a young Mennonite girl who, from what he was reading, likely only went to school through the eighth grade and was expected to marry a man with a bowl cut who would most likely refuse to allow her to have her own cell phone.
How had the modern world not corrected such traditional behavior? He found no answer for that. But he learned that most Amish and a lot of Mennonites spoke Pennsylvania Dutch and wondered if Tia knew the language. Was that how her parents communicated with her? Was that the language her nieces and nephews were being taught?
According to various sources, Anabaptists were part of the Protestant radical reform movement of the sixteenth century, when some Christians broke off from the Catholic Church. Any religion, let alone one so all-pervasive it was actually a culture, was completely foreign to him, which was partly why he found Tia’s background fascinating.
He was so caught up learning about the Mennonites that several hours passed while he followed link after link, reading facts he’d never heard before. Some Mennonite groups didn’t have to pay social-security taxes because they pulled together as a community to take care of their elderly. They were Christian but didn’t celebrate Christmas the way most other Americans did. And they believed so strongly that vanity was a sin they often pulled out their own teeth rather than pay to maintain them.
No wonder Tia’s parents were mortified that she’d become an actress and felt God had intervened to stop her. If she were Amish instead of Mennonite, she’d probably never be allowed back, even for a visit.
Given how insulated and restrictive the Mennonite communities were, he would’ve assumed the number of people in them would be shrinking, maybe even hanging on the brink of extinction. But he was surprised to find that wasn’t the case. The opposite was actually occurring. These communities were growing, largely due to the huge size of their families. Many had ten or more children, and because their children were only educated to the eighth grade and were effectively cut off from the outside world, leaving wasn’t much of an option.
How had Tia been able to mesh such a past with LA, a city full of people who focused on physical beauty, fame and fortune to the exclusion of almost everything else?
The move must’ve been quite a culture shock. And yet she’d not only managed to adjust, she’d managed to flourish all on her own—until the accident.
So what was going to happen to her?
She said she wouldn’t return to Iowa, and he was glad of that. But now she had something else that was huge to overcome. He hated to think of how Hollywood would react to her scarred face.
With a sigh, he navigated to his messages and found the contact for his mother-in-law. He hated to be drawn to Tia’s defense, especially against Shiloh’s parents, but he would not allow them to do anything that could make what she had ahead of her any more difficult.
You’d better not try to help Ray Kouretas.
“What are you doing today?”
Aiyana sounded wide-awake and cheerful, but Seth was still half-asleep. He wasn’t even sure why he’d answered the phone. His eyes could barely focus as he squinted at the light streaming into the living room through the gaps around the window coverings. Apparently, he’d spent the night on the couch. “Just...working, I guess,” he said.
“Did I wake you?” she asked when she heard his raspy voice.
He cleared his throat. “What time is it?”
“You were sleeping. Sorry about that. I thought I’d be safe to call at eleven.”
He pushed himself into a sitting position. It was almost noon? Was Tia still asleep? He didn’t hear her moving around the house... “It’s fine. I was up most of last night, that’s all.”
“Again?”
“Story of my life, right? What’s going on?”
“I was hoping you could come meet your students today.”
He covered a yawn before responding. “Why can’t I do it on Friday, when I speak at the assembly?”
“We need to pick the winners of the art contest you sponsored. We’re announcing them on Friday.”
“Oh. That’s right.” He got to his feet and went over to raise the blinds. As the motor whined and they went up, the room was flooded with light. The weather had cleared; it was nice to see the sun. “Can’t you just take a picture of each one and send it to me?”
“Seth, there’re over one hundred entries. I don’t have the time, and I don’t think a picture will do them justice, anyway.”
He couldn’t ask her to bring them all over to him, either. That would take as much time, and the kids had worked too hard to treat them that casually. “True. My bad.” He heard Kiki bark like a dog and went over to peer into the atrium. He thought he might find Tia there, but the bird was alone. “Why can’t you choose the winners? I’d be happy to work with anyone you recommend.”
“I’m not the artist, you are. I don’t know what to look for, which was why we set you up to judge from the beginning. Why don’t you want to come over?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to come over,” he said. “It’s that...there’s a guy in town who’s part of the paparazzi. He’s being aggressive and intrusive, trying to get a picture of Tia. He even blocked the gate when we were trying to come home the other day. I’m reluctant to leave her alone, because I have no idea what he might try.”
“I heard he was in town. Gavin and Eli both mentioned him. Name’s Kouretas or something, right?”
“Yeah. Ray Kouretas.”
“Won’t Tia be safe inside, as long as she keeps the doors locked? He might not even realize she’s in the guesthouse.”
“She’s not in the guesthouse any longer,” he said. “After he got so belligerent, I had her move into the main house with me, just to be safe.”
When Aiyana cleared her throat before responding, he said, “Don’t read too much into that.”
“What do you mean?” she asked innocently. “I’m glad you’re looking out for her. But...why can’t you bring her with you when you come? Kouretas would never expect her to be here, so it should be easy to avoid him.”
“You know she won’t allow herself to be seen—by anyone other than you and some of the other members of our family.”
“She can’t stay behind closed doors forever, Seth.”
“She’ll come out when she’s ready.”
“I respect that. But the sooner she forgets about her scars, the sooner everyone else will, too.”
“Like I said, she will when she’s ready.”
She sighed. “What do you want to do about the contest?”
“I’ll come. What time do I need to be there?”
“Is one thirty okay?”
“Yeah. See you then.” He was just disconnecting when his phone dinged with a text. Lois had responded to his late-night message.
How could you choose some woman you’ve barely met over us?
If you’re talking about Tia, I’m just trying to help her out, he wrote back.
You’ll help her but not us?
Helping them and allowing them to use him were two different things.
“Morning.”
Seth lowered his phone as Tia walked into the room, freshly showered and dressed for the day. “Morning.”
“Sleep well?” she asked, giving his rumpled T-shirt and basketball shorts the once-over.
He couldn’t help noticing that her eyes were brighter, she had more energy in her step and her voice contained confidence that hadn’t been there since he’d met her. Those slight adjustments made a huge difference. It was almost as if he could see the beautiful and capable woman he’d watched on-screen last night begin to overtake the hurt and angry person he’d encountered in the guesthouse when he’d first arrived. “Not really,” he admitted. “You?”
“Like a baby.”
Was she rubbing it in that last night could’ve gone much differently for him? He had no doubt he would’ve had a far better time with her, but she deserved more than he could give her. He couldn’t trust love again even if he could get over Shiloh. “Now you’re just being salty,” he grumbled.
“Salty about what?” she asked, but he could tell she was only pretending not to understand.
“You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”
She didn’t answer. After studying him for a moment, she moved into the kitchen. “What would you like for breakfast?”
He followed her. “You’re doing the cooking?”
“I am.”
“Then I’ll have whatever you make.”
She burrowed around in the refrigerator and pulled out some blackberries, raspberries and blueberries. “Oatmeal okay? With fruit on top?”
He wrinkled his nose. “Oatmeal? That’s the best you can do?”
“For now, yes. I’m going on a diet. I have to get off the weight I’ve gained.”
“Why?”
“So I’ll feel better about myself. Maybe I can’t fix the scars on my face, but there are other things I can fix, and this is one of them.”
“Your body’s already perfect. It’s all I can think about.”
Obviously surprised by this comment, she looked over at him. “If you’re trying to get me back into bed with you, it won’t work. I hope,” she added with less certainty.
Her equally honest comeback made him chuckle. “Okay, but I’m not gonna lie. If you changed your mind, I wouldn’t be disappointed.”
When their eyes met and held, several images of her naked in his arms paraded before his mind’s eye. Those encounters weren’t something he’d soon forget.
“Maybe I should move back into the guesthouse,” she muttered as she tore her gaze away.
He lowered his voice. “I’m flattered to think I might be that much of a temptation.”
“I’ve made plain what I want,” she said.
“I know. And I’m sorry. I don’t want to make your life harder. That’s the truth.”
“I know,” she said with a sigh.
There was so much more he wanted to say. Their time together had been good for him, and he was grateful—for the way she’d crashed into his life and made this Christmas different than the last three, which had been almost impossible for him to get through, and for the conversation and companionship and the physical and emotional intimacy. He’d needed to feel connected to someone again—although the urgency scared him—so that had made more of a difference than anything.
Maybe she had a few things to say to him, too. But where did they start? And where did they leave that conversation once they had it?
He folded his arms and leaned up against the wall as he watched her prepare their food.
“What?” she said as she put a pan of water on to boil.
“I have to go over to the school today.”
“Okay.”
“I take it you won’t go with me.”
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I’m not. I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, adding a dash of salt to the water.
He moved closer, simply because he couldn’t seem to stay away. “I don’t trust Kouretas.”
She glanced over her shoulder when she realized he was standing right behind her. “I had to deal with a whole army of paparazzi at my condo. I can handle one man.”
He was tempted to put his hands on her shoulders. He wanted to touch her so badly it was a struggle to overcome the impulse. He walked over to put some bread in the toaster so that he wouldn’t. “I hope by handling him you mean you’ll stay inside and not answer if someone comes to the gate.”
She looked back at him again. “If Kouretas returns, he’s not going to buzz the intercom. He already tried that.”
“He might not, but Lois could. Just promise me you won’t answer.”
“Fine. I won’t answer. That’s an easy promise to keep.”
Her agreement should’ve made Seth feel better. What could go wrong in just a few hours? he asked himself.
But he couldn’t seem to rid himself of a certain uneasiness.
Shiloh should’ve been fine when he’d left her, too.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kouretas gripped his phone that much tighter. He was dying to escape this Pollyannaish town, to get home and get paid before Christmas. But Seth Turner wasn’t making his job easy, and now he’d just received another setback.
“I wish I was,” Lois Ivey said, her voice slightly tinny as it came through the phone. “Someone must’ve seen us at the coffee shop.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re the one who suggested we meet at there,” he said, irritated that she’d been so shortsighted. “Why didn’t we go somewhere else?”
“Because I didn’t expect it to be a problem. I didn’t think anyone would know who you are, let alone tell Seth we were together.”
“If it was even a possibility, you should’ve protected against it.”
“What’d you want me to do? Invite you over to my house? I don’t even know you!”
He rolled his eyes. “Believe me. You have nothing I want.”
“Except access to Tia,” she said, coming right back at him.
“Which you can no longer give me,” he pointed out.
There was a moment of silence. Then he heard her draw a deep breath. “We can think of something.”
“What?” he snapped. “You’ve blown it. Now I won’t get paid, and neither will you.”
“I did my best!” she cried.
“Well, your best wasn’t good enough. Now you’ve ruined it for both of us. Thanks for nothing,” he said and hung up.
Calling Lois Ivey every name in the book, he was about to toss his phone onto the bed when he realized that she might be useful to him after all. Just because she couldn’t draw Seth over to her house under the pretense of giving him something that had once belonged to his dead wife, like they’d planned, didn’t mean something else wouldn’t work. Ray had spent his life cutting and jiving. If anyone knew how to overcome an obstacle, he did.
“This’ll be even better,” he muttered with a smile as he imagined the outcome for all parties.
When he called Lois back, it took her so long to answer he was afraid he’d made her so mad she wouldn’t. But on the second try, he heard her say, “What do you want?”
He ignored her waspishness. He didn’t care about her—she was just a means to an end—so it didn’t bother him in the least. “I just thought of something,” he said.
“What?” She still sounded sulky.
“Do you know any of the police officers in this town?”
“Of course. I know them all—at least by sight. I’ve lived here for thirty-six years.”
“Have you ever been in trouble?”
“What kind of trouble?”
“With the law!” he said in exasperation. “Traffic tickets, parking tickets, DUI, a dispute with a neighbor, shoplifting. Anything?” She looked innocent enough, but looks could be deceiving. If there were young actresses with the face of an angel who’d do anything for a dime bag of cocaine, there could also be middle-aged nobodies like Lois Ivey with more than a few skeletons in the closet.
“Of course not!” she said, indignant. “What kind of a person do you think I am?”
Bingo. That told him all he needed to know. “A credible one. And that’s what it’s going to take to make this whole thing work.”
“What whole thing?”
“My new plan.”
“Will I still get paid?”
“That depends on how well you play your part.”