Daniel arrived in Lethbridge on a beautiful late September day. The skies were blue. The sunshine abundant. It was a day just as beautiful as over a year ago when the hailstorm had caused such destruction.
Daniel was proud of himself. He’d made good money and Anna’s letters had told him the harvest had been bountiful. This year shouldn’t be a repeat of last.
He’d been gone more than the requisite six months, but he’d made good money. He would now be free of debt.
Daniel’s shoulder ached after all the hard work he’d done on the docks. However, he managed to ignore the pain. Today he would once again see beautiful, gentle Anna. And, of course, his daughters.
Together he and Anna had decided not to have any more children. It would be nice to have a boy, but Amber and Crystal made them a happy family.
He lived for Anna’s letters. Now he’d be there in person to experience all he’d been missing.
The train ride home had been much like the train ride to Vancouver. And much like the journey back to Canada from England. They were experiences he would always remember.
Anna’s journey had probably been dreadful. He knew war brides were subjected to dirty, unsanitary conditions, and extreme crowding. That meant no privacy and lots of crying children. However, she’d made it and he now had a perfect, loving wife.
He’d found the trip through the mountains exhilarating. He’d seen bears and deer and mountain goats. The mountains were majestic and the air fresher even than on his farm.
There’d been fields of golden wheat on the prairies. He loved his beautiful country.
The docks where he’d worked had been putrid with rotting fish. Nonetheless, Vancouver was a gorgeous city. There were massive, beautiful flowers such as hydrangeas, and forests of grand oak trees.
On his one day off a week, he usually went to Stanley Park and never failed to find the experience restorative. He enjoyed the zoo and the many walking trails. His favorite paths snaked by the ocean.
Daniel knew Anna would love to paint Vancouver. It would remind her of England. In his opinion, Vancouver was the more magnificent because of its mountains and woodlands.
Daniel’s co-workers told him Victoria on Vancouver Island was also a beautiful, charming city. But Daniel never had time to go there. He vowed to take Anna out to the west coast someday soon. He hoped they’d arrive on one of the few sunny days in summer. He hated the many winter days of dreary drizzle.
The barracks he’d stayed in were similar to those in the army. There was little privacy. But he’d somehow managed to grow used to the stench of hard working male bodies. And a part of him enjoyed being somewhere different.
Like a prisoner, Daniel had marked off the days on his calendar until when he could come home. He missed his family, of course. But he also missed Alberta’s bright sunshine, even in winter, and the quiet beauty of his land.
He’d made some friends amongst his fellow workers and he told them all about Anna. He missed her with all his being. He wasn’t entirely whole without her at his side. It was as if he’d lost an arm or leg. He’d rubbed her picture so much it’d grown worn and bent.
He became good friends with Percy Johnston, a handsome man with curly brown hair and blue eyes. Percy had grown up near Vancouver and introduced Daniel to Stanley Park. He’d never been out west. Daniel extended a warm invitation to come out and visit.
Percy had also been in the forces and been wounded in Normandy. He’d been in the infantry, near the front lines, but somehow managed to survive. He’d suffered a shattered leg that thankfully took a very long time to heal.
Over beers one Monday evening, they’d exchanged stories. Daniel failed to share how he still felt consumed with guilt because he’d failed to look out of the hatch of his Firefly.
Neither Percy nor Daniel had anything to do with the prostitutes many of the other men visited on pay days. Daniel not only needed to save his money, he also wanted to remain true to Anna. Although single, Percy feared syphilis or gonorrhea.
Together Daniel and Percy would play cards when many of the other men left the barracks. They both enjoyed crib.
* * *
Daniel heard the conductor call in a loud, singsong voice. “Lethbridge.” He touched his hand onto his rapidly beating heart and stared out his window at the familiar city. It seemed small and vacant after Vancouver.
He waited patiently for the female passengers to exit. This seemed to take longer than necessary, despite the fact he helped many of these women with their luggage.
His chivalry resulted in several invitations to dinner from the single ladies. One slender redhead with a very full bust line told him he was the handsomest man she’d ever met.
Despite all this, Daniel managed to be the first male out the door. Nothing would keep him from Anna.
He hardly noticed the weight of his own suitcase, although it was the large, heavy bag Anna had brought over from England. It weighed at least fifty pounds. Besides his clothes and personal effects, he’d packed it with gifts for Anna and the children.
He knew he was now even stronger than he’d been during the war. He could feel his suit jacket straining at his back, shoulders, and arms.
Finally, he stood on the station platform. He took a deep breath of fresh, dry air. He also revelled in the wide sky. He searched for a taxi and almost immediately found one. He hadn’t told anyone when he would return. Of course, he could call Peter, or Jim, or even George. He didn’t want anyone around when he greeted Anna. He wanted to surprise her. He imagined the look of delight that would brighten her beautiful features.
He believed the cab driver would appreciate the large fare. He decided as well to leave a tip.
Daniel was about to enter the cab when he noticed two thin, bearded men smoking cigarettes and gossiping. Both wore old, faded jackets and pants. One leaned against the station building. The other stood up right beside his friend.
Daniel heard one of the men say, “I guess he couldn’t satisfy his woman. She had to look elsewhere.” Daniel absently wondered who they were talking about and decided gossips came in both sexes.
Daniel settled himself into the backseat of the large, black cab. He smiled with contentment as he revelled in the wide, familiar streets. The cab driver had a thick Dutch accent. He didn’t speak except to ask Daniel for directions. Daniel freely enjoyed the scenery.
They left the city and he noticed many of the crops had been harvested. The landscape was beautiful in its austerity. His eyes moistened when he passed by the homes of their friends and neighbours. He knew then just how homesick he’d been.
* * *
Finally, he told the driver to “turn here.” They were approaching his driveway. He smiled as he surveyed his house, barn and outbuildings. He’d have to paint them soon. Thank God, the crop was harvested.
Chocolate ran around in circles and barked. He’d be embarrassed when he saw who’d arrived. Daniel’s eyes filled with tears of happiness. He’d waited for this moment for months.
He paid the driver, a short, thin man with pale blond hair and thin features, and grabbed his suitcase from what Anna called the boot of the car.
She had lost much of her accent, but sometimes he still didn’t know what she referred to. This thought caused the smile of anticipation on his face to broaden.
The next thing he knew Chocolate yipped with joy. He placed his front paws on Daniel’s trousers. Daniel scratched Chocolate behind the ears and looked for Amber and Crystal. He found no sign of them. He was relieved. He loved his children but wanted time alone with Anna before he greeted his daughters. He desperately hoped Anna would be at home.
Daniel made his way to the door, scattering some chickens who’d escaped the coop. He was surprised to see the expensive lock on what had always been an unlocked door. Anna must have been nervous without him. He experienced a pang of guilt.
He knocked and heard Anna call, “Who is it?”
He said, “Daniel, your loving husband.”
Anna said nothing more but he heard the lock turn and then he stared down into the tired, line-etched face of the woman he loved.
Anna’s once beautiful skin had become mottled and colourless and she looked as surprised as he’d expected, but without the joy. Daniel surmised all the work she had to do must have been too much for her. The guilt returned.
Finally, he looked down at her body. He understood much. Too much. He couldn’t breathe. It was as if he’d been hit with a hammer.
Anna, with her tired face and too skinny, swelling body had lost not only her purity but also her beauty.
It had been him who’d been laughed at in town. He was an obvious fool. Everything he’d believed to be true was actually false.
For a long moment, neither Daniel nor Anna spoke. Finally he said, “When were you going to tell me?” His voice contained both pain and sarcasm. He choked back the bile that’d entered his throat.
Anna wrung her hands. “I couldn’t put it in a letter. I just couldn’t.” She looked pathetic.
He was obviously no judge of character. He’d fallen in love with the wrong woman. He felt like a punctured balloon as the love oozed out of him.
Suddenly, it was all clear. “Why couldn’t you stay away from my philandering brother? I know he chases everything in a skirt. But I thought you knew better.”
Daniel clenched and unclenched his fists. However, he would never hit a woman. Certainly not one obviously pregnant. To do that made a man lower than someone too afraid to open the hatch on his tank. Having it out with his brother would be another matter.
Anna’s eyes grew wild with fright. “Peter never came without Lottie. I wouldn’t allow it. I’m the victim of a horrible rape.”
Then, through tears, Anna described a tale of rape by a drifter named Willy Jones who’d walked all the way from Lethbridge. It was a silly, fantastical story. He didn’t believe a word of it.
Her words left him feeling even more like a fool. This woman had become nothing like the girl he’d fallen in love with.
Daniel grabbed Anna by the shoulders, and shook her hard enough to make her teeth rattle. “Now stop your silly crying and tell me the truth. I believe this Willy Jones may be the father. I don’t believe your tale of rape.” He screeched the words.
His lowered his voice an octave. “If you were raped, you’d have called the police. They’d have a record of your complaint.” Daniel heard the wind whispering in the trees as he spoke. “We could call them now.”
Anna just shook her head.
“Why didn’t you say anything in your letters? You’re missing your calling. You should write wild stories rather than paint pretty pictures. You’re not pure or innocent or good.”
Daniel could feel vomit rising in his throat. He found this to be, in many ways, more painful than Normandy. His trust and love lay in ashes at his feet.
Anna became paler than he’d ever seen her. “Maisy suggested I give up the child for adoption. It wouldn’t solve everything, but at least you wouldn’t have to be around it all the time. I’m not sure I want to do that. Strangely enough, I’ve come to love this child inside me. Even if it’s a child of rape. It’s not the baby’s fault.”
Daniel could hear his daughters playing on the teeter totter. He fervently hoped they wouldn’t stop their game and enter the house.
“And Daniel, I’m telling the truth about this child’s conception. Believe me. I would never intentionally be unfaithful. I was too embarrassed and humiliated to call the police.” Anna wrung her hands.
Daniel had to admit it. She sounded like she was telling the truth. But he doubted her ridiculous tale. Almost as much as he hated being the buffoon everyone laughed at.
“How do you expect me to believe such nonsense? Was this guy more attractive than me? With a bigger dick?” He felt his face grow red with rage.
Anna wrung her hands again and her voice revealed her fear. “Of course not, I hated the whole thing. Being with him was awful. Not like being with you, which is wonderful. Believe me, I was raped.”
Daniel realized he wanted to believe her. He loved her that much. A man’s love could be as strong as the mother’s love she’d described.
Yet he found he couldn’t. The story was too preposterous. He felt his heart pounding. And the bile entered his throat again.
Anna started to cry when Daniel pushed her into a chair and demanded she give details of the rape. He asked her again and again and her story remained the same. She couldn’t be telling the truth, so she must be the best liar he’d ever met.
As she spoke, he saw a vision of a fluffy, beautiful white cloud disintegrating. It was followed by an ugly black cloud. The hallucinatory cloud formed at a spot just above Anna’s head. It told him his life with Anna was disintegrating.
Finally, Daniel clapped his hands. “I’ve had enough of these lies. I can’t stand the sight of you.” He spit onto the floor, narrowly missing Anna’s foot. She didn’t flinch.
Anna’s tears fell down her cheek and landed upon her shapeless dress. She appeared to have no handkerchief. “I’ve expected this. You can send me and the girls back to England.”
“No, you can’t take the girls. They’ll stay with me and my parents.” His voice was harsh.
He grabbed a kitchen chair and swung it wildly. “I’ll go back and live with my parents. The three of us will raise the girls. George and Grace adore them.”
Abruptly, Daniel set the chair down. “My parents may be overly religious, but neither one of them is promiscuous. And they are both obviously a better judge of character than I am.” Despite his words, Daniel realized how much he hated the future he presented to Anna. He didn’t see how he could manage the farm and the girls without help from his parents. He’d never let her take Amber and Crystal away from him.
About one thing he felt certain. He would never marry Nancy Smyth.
His children would have to grow up without a mother. He didn’t know how he could explain all this to the girls.
Daniel didn’t believe Anna could grow any paler. But somehow she did. “No Daniel. I can’t live without my children. Young children need their mothers. I beg you; please don’t send me away without them.”
She made an attempt to bow before him but her bloated belly made the attempt ridiculous. She resembled a white-faced clown.
“You have the child in your belly. That should be enough.” His voice was icy cold.
He knew his daughters would be miserable without Anna. And he didn’t really want them raised in an overly puritanical environment as he’d been. Yet he remained rigid and cold.
He wanted to hurt Anna as much as she’d hurt him. She had ridiculed their life together. She would pay.
Conversation stopped when Amber and Crystal entered the house. They both smelled of the outdoors with their pretty dresses covered with straw and caked in mud, but he’d never seen anything more precious or beautiful.
They both ran yelling, “Daddy, Daddy.” He kneeled down and pulled them into his arms. He was filled with love. How could he send them away? Yet young children, especially girls, needed their mother. The situation was impossible.
Crystal said, “Mommy said you’d come. She was right.” Daniel kissed her and held her even tighter.
Daniel had a thought. Maybe his daughters would remember the “bad man” Anna had threatened to shoot. They might be able to corroborate their mother’s story.
He realized a part of him, not a small part, still wanted to believe her. All so he could continue to love her. Was he weak? Probably.
It hurt him to think of someone else’s arms around Anna. Someone pressing her slender body onto his chest, and then ultimately going through the intimate act of intercourse. Why had she brought this upon him?
When he questioned his children, Amber said, “Yes, Mommy called him a bad man. He tore her clothes and I saw blood.” Amber held her head high and her voice was clear.
Amber stopped speaking, Daniel probed, “Tell me more.”
”We’re supposed to tell her if he comes back. So she can shoot him. Isn’t it bad to shoot people? I thought the gun was just for coyotes?” Daniel failed to answer Amber’s query. He decided she sounded rehearsed. It was obvious Anna had gotten the children to lie.
“Did any other men come to the house?”
“No, just Uncle Jim and Uncle Peter and the Watkins man. Mummy didn’t buy anything. Aunt Maisy came, but she’s not a man.”
“How many times did the Watkins man come?” He felt like an interrogator for the CIA. Amber began to appear nervous. He’d have to quit with the questioning.
“He came only one time. Mommy says he won’t come back if you don’t buy from him.” Daniel decided Amber’s answers still sounded rehearsed but he let the matter be.
He couldn’t help but remember how passionate Anna could be. He could understand. But he couldn’t forgive. After all, he’d stayed away from other women the whole time he’d been gone.
Thankfully both children, because of their youth, failed to understand the impact of what was happening in their lives. Nonetheless, Daniel ached with grief. He’d probably never see his children again because he knew he would let them go to England with their mother.
Daniel decided he would wait until tomorrow to talk further to the girls. He certainly didn’t feel like giving them the gifts he’d accumulated.
The pent-up stress left him craving sleep so he told Anna and the girls he would like to take a nap.
But Amber wouldn’t let him leave. She was still too excited about his return. “Daddy, we’re going to have a brother or sister. Mommy says it’s in her tummy. I hope it’s a sister. I don’t like boys.”
Anna’s face was wild with agony and he knew she wanted to stop the conversation.
Daniel’s voice filled with authority. “We’ll worry about the baby in Mommy’s tummy tomorrow. Right now, I’m going to sleep.” Amber and Crystal both backed away from him in obvious alarm.
He abruptly turned and went into the bedroom, closed the door, which squeaked a little, and peeled off his clothes. Habit made him fold them neatly and place them on the floor.
Clad only in his underwear, he climbed into the bed and pulled up the covers. Late afternoon light filtered into the room. He felt safe in here. Safe from all of the craziness of his life.
He would let Anna handle the evening chores and the making of supper. He knew he wouldn’t be able to eat anything. He would soon be as thin and bereft as Anna.
Despite his mental exhaustion, Daniel didn’t sleep. He lay awake, feeling like an inert mass existing in shock.
He needed to think what to do and yet he couldn’t face up to his problems. He wanted to stay in this bed for the rest of his life and sleep and sleep and never wake up.
Bedtime finally arrived. It must have been hours, but it felt like only minutes had passed before darkness had fallen. He’d have to once again face his life when the night ended.
Eventually, Anna came to bed. Daniel turned away and feigned sleep. The happy reunion he’d longed for had turned into the worst predicament of his life. Yet he wasn’t going to let her know how much she’d hurt him.
He heard her changing into her nightgown, hanging up her clothes in their small closet, fluffing up her pillow, and then gently lying down on her side of the bed. Due to her pregnancy she seemed to take up a great deal of space.
She said nothing but he could hear her smothered sobs. His heart grew icy. What else could she expect?
* * *
The next day, after a near sleepless night, Daniel awoke to a feeling of disbelief. How could this be happening? How could he be so wrong about a person? He felt he couldn’t trust any of his instincts.
He somehow summoned the resolve to act normally so he arose before Anna. He wanted to avoid any further encounters with her. He skipped breakfast because he was too upset to eat, and made his way to the barn and other out buildings. He milked the cow and fed the pigs and chickens. The animals treated him like a stranger. Chocolate was his only friend. He felt useless and totally alone.
The sun rose in the sky and it promised to be another fine day, weather wise. So he went into the field to stack hay bales.
He had no idea what he would’ve done if it rained. He felt too upset to further confront Anna, yet he knew he would have to. She had ruined his life. She didn’t deserve his compassion.
Despite his sore shoulder, the physical labour helped to ease his emotional pain. It also afforded him time to think. He didn’t know if that was good or bad.
He may have to go live with his parents, but he’d still have his land, which he loved almost as much as Anna. He realized with a shock his every thought reminded him of Anna and the present crisis. He attempted to force himself to wipe her from his thoughts. Yet found it impossible. His mind whirred with emotions.
One minute he thought of how much he still loved Anna. And he tried to believe she’d been raped. It was a terrible, evil thing for a man to do to a woman. It brought fear and physical and emotional pain. During those moments he could forgive her for ruining his life because it wouldn’t be her fault.
The next moment he would, in his mind, declare her story ridiculous. And he would never pardon her for leaving him mocked and deceived. At those times he hated her almost uncontrollably.
Daniel was tossing a bale up high to the top of the stack when he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“I’m bleeding. Bleeding badly. I think I need a doctor.”
For a moment, just a moment, he felt the urge to tell her to go find her lover and let him deal with her problems. However, he would never do such a thing. He’d have to turn around and see if she really was consumed with agony. Maybe she just wanted his sympathy.
He turned and saw Anna’s face contorted in what appeared to be agonizing pain. Worse still, fresh blood soaked her dress and ran down her legs. He placed his hand over his hammering heart. Anna could die. Panic assailed him.
Nonetheless, he knew he’d have to act quickly and instinct took over. He would carry her. He began to lift her. But she clutched her stomach and shrieked. “No, you’ll never make it that far carrying me.”
She was probably right. He had no choice but to help her walk. He clasped Anna’s small, cold hand and helped her walk through the field.
The fact the crop had been harvested made walking easier. Nonetheless, at one point Anna tripped on the uneven ground and would have fallen if Daniel hadn’t managed to keep her upright. Neither of them spoke. Was she hemorrhaging? He didn’t know how much blood she could lose and still survive. The clasp of Anna’s hand grew weaker and weaker.
Finally, he did pick her up. She didn’t resist.
At first she seemed light in his arms. However he found himself gasping for breath by the time he entered the yard and saw the blue Chevrolet he’d purchased a couple of years ago.
Yet, despite his burden, Daniel ran the last few yards to the car. He thanked God the keys were in his pocket.
Although he found it difficult, he somehow managed to continue to hold Anna and still open the passenger door. He lifted her onto the seat. She slumped against the window when he closed the door, barely conscious. Despite his peak physical condition, his arms and back ached. The pain in his shoulder was excruciating.
Daniel’s hand shook as he inserted the key within the ignition. Thank God. The car started immediately.
He left the yard and headed down the gravel road as fast as he could. Both his and Anna’s heads bumped on the roof of the car. Daniel feared he would lose control of the vehicle, an easy thing to do on gravel. He feared slowing down even more.
He was relieved when he remembered Amber and Crystal played over at Jim and Maisy’s. He certainly didn’t have time to go find them now. He’d give his brother a call later.
Sweat poured off his forehead as he prayed silently this ordeal would have a happy ending.
Anna moaned and she slumped further in her seat, as floppy as a dust rag. Please God. Don’t let her lose consciousness. Anna must not die. He realized how much he still loved her. Even if she wasn’t innocent, he loved her. Her voice, her warmth, her gentle mannerisms all contributed to his love.
Loving her now may not be logical or rational. But he still did, and he would forgive her. His love was unconditional. The same kind of love he used to believe she gave him. The kind of love everyone needed.
She’d been left all alone in difficult circumstances. She’d been vulnerable. And maybe she didn’t lie. Maybe she’d been raped. If Anna lived, he would believe her story and love her even more. He would never mention the rape again.
Daniel prayed aloud. “Please God, let Anna live. I’ll love her for all eternity.”
He took his eyes off the road long enough to glance at Anna. She still sat slumped against the passenger window. More and more blood accumulated on her dress and pooled on the floorboards. Her face was as pale as a winter morning after a snow storm. She winced every time they hit a bump on the road.
He didn’t see any other vehicles and he didn’t slow down. A high speed was more important than eliminating Anna’s discomfort.
For the first time on this journey, Anna spoke. “I feel like I’m going to faint. Oh Daniel, I’m so afraid.” He had to strain to hear her words.
Daniel gripped her arm. “I love you. I won’t let anything bad happen. Here’s the city now.”
Daniel sighed with relief. He could finally drive on pavement. He pressed down harder on the accelerator, ran two red lights and almost hit a car. He didn’t encounter any police.
* * *
They reached the hospital. Daniel parked on the grass because the lawn was situated close to the entrance. He ran inside.
He encountered a nurse or receptionist, a short, stocky brunette, dressed all in white, who looked like nothing would hurry her. She started to say, “We have to process all our patients. Are you…”
Daniel, his face red, shrieked, “Get a doctor. Do it now. My pregnant wife is bleeding something terrible. If you don’t do something immediately she’ll die.”
A half dozen people, mostly well dressed, were seated in the nearby, stark waiting room. Their faces registered curiosity and alarm. Daniel failed to notice any of them.
The nurse moved her bulky body at an abnormal speed and walked rapidly through a swinging door. “Dr. Reynolds. There’s an emergency. There’s a woman with a great deal of blood loss and an overwrought husband. Please come immediately.” Despite the fact she used the word “please”, it was a command.
A tall, thin man with a mustache immediately answered the summons. He wore a blue shirt and blue striped tie underneath a white lab coat. A relieved Daniel saw the doctor moved rapidly. “What caused the bleeding?” Daniel motioned to the outdoors and both men ran into the parking lot.
“I don’t know, but she’s pregnant.” Daniel found it difficult to breathe, the result of anxiety. Not exertion.
“Has she been getting vitamins and proper prenatal care?”
Daniel knew she probably hadn’t, considering the conditions under which she’d been living. He groaned. “I’ve been away for several months so I haven’t been able to properly look after her. But I kind of doubt it. I just got back yesterday.”
He’d been going to tell the doctor he hadn’t known of the pregnancy. He decided against it. If the child lived, he wanted everyone possible to believe him the father.
* * *
Daniel reached the car before the physician. When Dr. Reynolds arrived, he peeked in at his new patient, “I believe she’s lost consciousness. We could get a stretcher, but it might be faster if you carry her.”
“Of course,” He gently but quickly lifted his wife out of the car. The adrenalin-charged Daniel found her light as eider down.
The doctor closed the car door and followed Daniel and Anna into the hospital.
Within seconds, a stretcher arrived. Two staff members in white lab coats wheeled Anna up to the operating room. Blood continued to pool under Anna.
Please God. Please make Anna live.
Dr. Reynolds and Daniel followed the stretcher down the long hallway. As they walked, the doctor explained, “We’re going to do an emergency C-section.”
Daniel didn’t know what that meant and he felt too frightened to ask for an explanation. However, he was relieved Anna appeared to be in qualified hands.
A nurse appeared; this one tall with dark curly hair and a florid complexion. Daniel would have found her attractive in other circumstances.
She took Daniel by the elbow and guided him to another room. It smelt of antiseptics, “Dr. Weinstein will do the operation. He’s an expert on the procedure.”
The nurse closed the door behind them yet still spoke softly. “Your wife has excessive bleeding. The placenta has to be removed. It’s dangerous. We’ll give her blood transfusions. She’ll have the baby by Caesarean Section.”
She opened the door and motioned for Daniel to follow her. “You’ll have to wait in the room with the other expectant fathers.”
* * *
Daniel’s throat was dry as he entered the waiting area. It was a sunless space with comfortable looking brown furnishings and a green rug over dark linoleum. Magazines littered the wooden coffee table. He spotted several copies of National Geographic.
He found the room occupied by three men. One quietly read a newspaper. He wore a green work shirt and dark blue overalls. He smiled at Daniel. “You look nervous. This must be your first. Edith, my wife, is having our sixth. There’s rarely something to worry about. Sit down and relax.”
Despite the comfortable looking furniture, Daniel knew he couldn’t sit. He was filled with fright. However, he knew he’d have to respond to this man. “This is Anna’s third.” He found he still couldn’t say “our. “And there’s plenty to worry about. Anna has lost a lot of blood. She might die.”
Daniel felt as if he’d been hit with a hammer. Suddenly, his head felt too weak for his body and he lowered it. He looked as if he examined the floor. Talking about the situation had made it more real.
All three men looked shocked and grave and introduced themselves.
Doug was a handsome blond young man with a terrific grin. Andy was short with sandy brown hair and freckles. Andy said, “We’ll be praying for you. So don’t you worry.” Steve was the man who’d first spoken.
Daniel softly stated his own name. None of the other men spoke further about Daniel’s worries but three pairs of eyes conveyed their sympathy. They obviously could think of nothing further to say.
Daniel paced around and around the large room. He couldn’t bear to just sit. The movement helped him relax just a little. He smoked cigarette after cigarette until he ran out. He was too agitated to make the trek to the smoke shop so he was forced to do without.
As he silently paced, he thought of Anna and her story of rape. Suddenly he felt like a jerk for not initially believing her. And he could understand why she couldn’t have an abortion. He would be a father to the child he secretly wished would be a girl. He didn’t want a junior Willy around.
Doug finally left his chair and tapped Daniel on the shoulder. “Doctors can do a lot these days. Let’s go down to the cafeteria. You need to relax. You look as if you’re about to explode.”
Daniel tried unsuccessfully to smile. “No thanks, I’m going to stay right here. I don’t want to be away when they come to tell me about Anna. And you’re right, I’m about to explode.”
Daniel knew the men just tried to help. But no one but God could help him. Please God. Don’t desert us.
* * *
Soon Steve, Doug and Andy had left the waiting room with happy congratulations from the nurses. Other expectant fathers, all of whom conveyed sympathy with words or gestures, soon replaced them.
Hours passed and Daniel still paced. He longed for a cigarette, his familiar antidote to tension. But he knew he wouldn’t leave. He hadn’t eaten all day but didn’t feel hungry.
Finally, at about six o’clock p.m., a short, slight man entered the waiting room and approached Daniel. Like every other doctor he’d seen, he wore a white coat splattered with blood. Anna’s blood.
This must be the surgeon, Dr. Weinstein. He looked tired and wan but he spoke with energy. Daniel thought he detected relief in the doctor’s eyes. Daniel willed God to let this intuition be right.
Daniel held his breath as the man spoke. His voice sounded deeper than Daniel had expected it to be as Dr. Weinstein was a small man. Daniel had never listened to anyone more attentively. “Your wife, thanks to transfusions, is going to be fine. In a moment, we’ll bring you your daughter, who is also just fine.” The doctor had small, white teeth and a genuine smile.
Daniel felt the tension leave him with a wonderful sense of relief. Anna would be all right. God had answered his prayers. Thank you, God. Thank you.” He grabbed the doctor’s hand and pumped it so hard Dr. Weinstein winced. “You’re a good doctor. No, you’re a great doctor. Thank you.”
Moments later, a petite red-haired nurse came in carrying a baby wrapped in a pink blanket. The nurse pushed her long hair behind her ear, and smiled. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”
Daniel, still shaking with emotion, took the child, a tiny perfect bundle who appeared awake but not fussing. She had dark hair and a rosebud mouth and a complexion like Anna’s when he’d first met her. In fact, everything about her looked a lot like Anna. He could and would love this child.
She didn’t look wrinkled and crushed as Amber and Crystal had. Perhaps it had something to do with the C-section birth.
He said to the nurse, “Yes, this is my daughter. I love her.”
* * *
Two days later, the hospital staff finally let Daniel see his wife.
After meeting the baby, he’d gone home to look after the girls. They’d enjoyed playing with their cousins.
Playing mother hadn’t been easy. They’d survived almost exclusively on peanut butter sandwiches on stale bread. And canned soup, which he managed to burn. Furthermore, the laundry piled up and he’d had no idea how to do it. He realized anew how much he appreciated what Anna did at home. He wondered how he’d ever contemplated living without her.
* * *
He wore his navy blue suit and a white shirt and blue-striped tie the day he went to visit Anna. Maisy whistled in appreciation when he came to drop off Amber and Crystal.
Maisy’s blue eyes were bright with happiness. “You look great, brother-in-law. I can see everything’s working out and I’m glad. I love Anna like a sister. In fact, I love her more than my sister because Louise is too bossy.”
Daniel grinned then. His wide, lopsided grin. “I like Anna better than Louise, too. Say, do you happen to know where there’s a good place to buy flowers? I want the best for Anna.”
Maisy, demure in a red checked housedress covered by a white apron, smiled back. “I would try the hospital’s gift shop. They’ll have flowers.”
Sure enough, Daniel found a dozen red roses, Anna’s favorite flower. The florist told him red roses signified passion. Something he felt almost as much as tender love. He carried them through the maze of corridors that constituted the obstetrics portion of the hospital until he found Anna’s room. Fortunately, she was the only occupant.
Anna, dressed in a shapeless hospital gown, sat up in bed holding the baby with a wide smile on her face.
The infant was bundled in a pink blanket Daniel surmised must have been supplied by the hospital. He hadn’t thought to bring any of Amber’s or Crystal’s baby clothes but he knew there must be some around the house. Anna never threw out anything useful.
Anna smiled tentatively when she saw Daniel. The smile widened when she saw the flowers.
Someone had combed Anna’s hair, and although she appeared pale, she looked rested. She winced with the pain of movement as she reached out her hand so Daniel could hold it. “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”
Daniel put the vase of flowers on the table next to Anna’s bed and he noted how much they brightened the sterile room that had been painted a hideous green.
Daniel pulled up a chair and placed it so he could be as close as possible to his wife, “Those flowers have nothing on you, kid.”
He clasped Anna’s hand between his two large ones. “I’ve been a first class heel. I believe you were raped. I love you and I’m grateful to God you didn’t die. I could never live without you.”
Colour returned to Anna’s cheeks. She sighed with happiness and smiled. “I love you too. So very much. I’m relieved you believe me. It’s true, even if hard to fathom. And Pearl is beautiful and a part of me. I hope you’ll get to love her.”
Daniel reached out and pulled back the blanket so he could once again take a look at the baby, a miniature Anna. “I love her already. Pearl, is that what we’re calling her?”
“Yes, if you like.” Suddenly, Anna once again became beautiful. Her cheeks glowed and her eyes appeared warm with happiness. She looked just like she had on their wedding day.
“I like. She looks like a luminous pearl. My daughter is beautiful like her mother. I’ll always love you.” Tears of happiness filled Daniel’s eyes.
The red-haired nurse entered Anna’s room. “You’ll have to go now. Mrs. Armstrong needs her rest.” She spoke with compassion.
The nurse left. Daniel planted a chaste kiss on his wife’s cheek. I’ll always love you.”