CHAPTER SIX

This kitchen was beginning to seem familiar, as if I’d always lived here. Naomi had insisted Isaac stay for coffee and pumpkin muffins. Nancy’s voice tittered each time Isaac spoke, but she grew taciturn when he talked to me. I wanted to tell her there was no way I was interested in Isaac. It wasn’t like I was going to become Amish and join their church.

However, would that be so bad? Amish blood flowed in my veins and here was a ready-made community, even without my biological mother living in it. I needed to learn that never knowing her would have to be good enough.

“We’ll put Linda in one of the downstairs guest rooms.” Naomi’s statement harpooned me back to the present. She glanced at Bart. “Don’t worry, we won’t turn you out into the blizzard. This big old house has plenty of room.” She sighed. “Our sons and their families won’t be able to make it this year. There go all my plans for a big family Christmas celebration.”

“Mamm, what about Nancy and me?” Anna asked.

“Yah, don’t we count?” Nancy planted her hands on her hips. “And Aenti Linda and Maria and Bart.”

I was touched she’d included me, but Silas seemed ill at ease. “Bart should spend Christmas with his family.”

“Ach, I should have asked Charlene to leave a message on their phone shanty,” Naomi said. “Once Bart gives us the number.”

“They don’t want to hear from me.” Bart raked a hand through his mop of thick hair. “My Dat has a terrible temper, and I doubt it’s simmered down yet.”

“When the snow lets up, I’ll bring you home,” Silas said, frowning at the snow piling up on windowsills. “But you might be celebrating Christmas with us here.”

Bart shrank lower in his chair. “I wish I had presents to give you in return for your generosity.”

“No need.” Silas crossed his arms. “Christmas is about celebrating our Savior’s birth.”

I’d been so consumed by my personal agony and confusion, that I just then realized I had nothing to give them. I’d only bought my sister, Trish, a sweater online, which would be delivered to her by tomorrow. I didn’t have a clue what Nancy and Anna would want. I figured they couldn’t wear makeup or wear trendy fashion items. A gift card to Amazon would be out of the question without a computer.

I nudged Naomi under the table and spoke in her ear. “Later, could I beg you to open the shop so I can buy a few items for Nancy and Anna? Or is that just silly?”

“Not so silly.” She turned to her husband. “That okay with you, Silas?”

Silas tugged his beard. “I s’pose. Bart has done several hours’ work, but not Maria.”

“I have a credit card in my purse.”

“In the meantime, free room and board,” Silas muttered.

I held up my hands. “Hey, I offered to pay several times.”

Naomi sent him a weary look that told me they’d already had this discussion. “No room at the inn, Silas?”

He glowered. “Don’t use the story of the birth of Jesus to manipulate me. Where have you been picking all of this up?”

“From your sermon last Sunday.”

Nancy came to her mother’s rescue. “It was such a good one, Dat. Really, it was.”

The corners of his mouth curved up—what I could see of them under his shaggy beard. And his shaved upper lip revealed his appreciation. “Denki, Nancy. I’m glad to hear you were listening. And you, too, Naomi. I won’t allow Satan to bring strife into the family.” He looked my way as if I might be the bad influence.

“I’m sorry if I’m making things difficult.” I squirmed in my chair. “I made a terrible mistake by coming without an invitation. I should have contacted you first.”

Silas seemed to weigh the sincerity of my statement. “Never mind,” he said. “There may be no room at the inn, but there’s always room around the manger.”

For the first time in a very long time, I felt the Lord’s love descend upon me. Linda wasn’t my mother, but I was where I was supposed to be.

Several hours later, Naomi brought out a bubbling cheese casserole from the crammed oven while Nancy sliced bread and Anna brought out condiments for dinner. We all sat, Silas initiated a silent prayer, then we devoured our meal without much chitchat. I figured each of us was deep in thought pondering his or her own burden. We all had them.

After we polished off our coffee, Naomi elbowed me. “Bundle up and let’s take a look in the shop.”

“Sorry to make you go out in the snow.”

“It seems to have stopped for the moment. I need to check the building anyway to make sure no pipes have frozen.”

Minutes later, the two of us slogged through the knee-high snow. It was not a long distance from the house but quite an arduous trek. Once inside, Naomi flicked on the propane gaslight to illuminate the room. “Go ahead and choose a few things. Please, nothing for me or Silas, as he won’t appreciate it and I don’t need anything.”

“That leaves Nancy, Anna, and Bart.”

“And a young man?”

“Maybe.” Could she tell I’d developed a crush on Troy? “It looks as though most of these items are for women though.” I noticed a bookrack of Amish paperbacks. Tables of potholders and glorious quilts I could never afford. One hanging on the wall with a red diamond in the center, trimmed by green on a navy blue background, caught my eye.

“Isn’t that one marvelous?” Naomi’s gaze followed mine. “Linda sewed and quilted it. It’s an Old Order Amish pattern. Not many quilters sew them anymore. And the hand-stitching on the back is meticulous.”

I stood staring at the bold shapes and patterns for a minute, then turned my attention to my task. I noticed a display of honey. A sign above it stated that the amber-colored nectar was from the Millers’ hives. I selected a jar and, on a whim, selected a jar of peach preserves.

Naomi picked up a pair of potholders. “I remember when these came in. Anna loved this fabric and made a big fuss.” A grin widened her mouth. “I’ll give you the special family discount.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Yes, it is. I insist.”

I peered around the room. “What do you think Nancy would like?” I noticed some quilted purses and moved over to them. “Would she use one of these?”

“Her father may not approve, but she loves the color purple.”

“I don’t want to get her in trouble.”

“She’s in her Rumspringa. So far, she hasn’t even tried wearing Englisch clothing or jewelry.”

I selected a shoulder-strap purse of purple and lavender hues I wouldn’t mind owning myself. Naomi snipped off the price tag before I could see it.

I scanned the plethora of quilted items. I could spend all day in here. I pulled out my wallet, but Naomi shook her head. “I don’t want to have to get out the credit card slips.”

“Okay.” I put away my wallet. “Please be sure to make me a receipt so I can pay you back.”

“We can worry about all that later.” She wrapped the items in tissue and placed them inside an opaque plastic bag. “Are you satisfied Linda is not your mother?”

“Yes.”

“I wish it could have been so.” Naomi passed me the bag. “I’m afraid I didn’t pay much heed to Linda when she was a teenager.” Her cheeks brightened. “Once I met Silas, all my attention turned to him. We married early, and God blessed us with a son right away, followed by another. We had our own farm, so I spent little time at my parents’ home.” I noticed her features growing sad.

“Understandable,” I said. “You must have been extremely busy.”

“Yah, I was. And Linda was busy with a housekeeping position. I didn’t see her for months.” She handed me the bag. “We should get back in the house and check in on her.”

Ten minutes later, she and I stomped our boots off at the back porch and then stepped out of them and into our slippers. Not that the slippers were actually mine.

Nancy and Anna had cleaned up the kitchen. Nancy stood by the stove, stirring the caramel frosting for the Christmas cake in a saucepan, while Anna assembled the other ingredients.

Naomi discarded her jacket and hurried into the next room to check on Linda. She knocked on the bathroom door when she didn’t find her in the living room. “Are you in there?”

No answer.

Naomi tried the knob, but the door was locked. “Please rap on the door if you’re in the bathroom.” Finally, the door handle rotated, and Linda toddled out. She pointed to her mouth and shook her head.

“I understand,” Naomi said. “You’ve gone and lost your voice.” As she exited the bathroom, Linda glanced over to me, but her features remained flat. I wondered if she’d really lost her voice or if she’d found a convenient way not to communicate with me.

“Charlene said to keep you hydrated.” Naomi picked up Linda’s empty mug from the tray. “I’ll make more tea.”

I trotted up the stairs to my room and stashed the bag in a closet. I’d worry about wrapping things later. I spun around and jogged down the staircase just as Linda was settling herself on the couch. Saucy jumped into her lap and Linda cuddled her.

I settled on the easy chair nearest the fireplace. “Linda, Naomi showed me some of the quilts you sewed. They’re marvelous.” My words hung in the air. Had Linda even heard me? “I wonder if I could learn to quilt.” I’d never thought of quilting before, but when viewing the masterpieces in the shop, the idea circled through my mind. “Do you think you could teach me?”

Linda seemed to be nodding, but then she coughed.

Naomi swished into the room carrying a cup of tea and placed it on the table. “Is your throat feeling better, dearest Schweschder? No, never mind, don’t answer me. Save your voice.”

“We were having a one-way conversation,” I told Naomi.

Linda’s nod was barely visible.

“Yoo-hoo.” Troy poked his head into the living room. “Silas said to come right in.”

The sight of Troy ignited a warm buzz in my chest. Yes, I was infatuated with this guy.

“Here you go.” He handed me my phone. “All charged. Thought you might need this to call your family.”

“Thanks.” I slipped it in my pocket. “I do want to wish my sister a merry Christmas.”

Troy turned to speak to Naomi. “Mom wants to know if you’ve taken Linda’s temperature.”

“I will right now, before she has her tea.” Naomi bustled to the bathroom, then returned with the thermometer and placed it under Linda’s tongue. Moments later, Naomi announced, “It’s lower.”

“Great. I’ll call Mom with that information.” He pulled out his cell phone as Silas entered the room.

Silas grimaced, his shaved upper lip lifting. “Using cell phones is verboten in this house.”

“Sorry.” Troy shoved the phone in his pocket. “How about on the back porch? I’d like to tell my mother that Linda’s temperature has fallen.”

“Yah, I suppose that would be all right under the circumstances.” Silas aimed his stare at Troy. “As a minister I’m supposed to be a role model to the community. I mustn’t disobey the Ordnung.”

“I understand.” He nodded at me. “I’ll be right back.”

Silas, Naomi, and Troy left the room. Linda and I sat in silence until Troy returned.

“What is the Ordnung?” I asked him as he sat down in a chair.

“The Ordnung is their set of unwritten rules they must obey, along with the Bible.”

“Oh. Okay.” Being Amish was a lot more complicated than I’d imagined. And yet I was attracted to their way of life, their love of family and community. I figured I could survive without electricity, and maybe even learn to drive a horse and buggy. I’d taken horseback riding lessons as a girl and adored the animals. But all other obstacles seemed insurmountable. Wearing straight pins around my waist and not being able to understand Pennsylvania Dutch would be too hard. I dismissed the idea. Why waste my time thinking about what would never be? No way would I give up my cell phone and the Internet. A website had brought me here in the first place.

I listened to the clock on the hearth’s mantel ticking and the flames crackling and popping. Linda had fallen back to sleep, her lids closed. Her scruffy little dog lay in her lap. Seeing Saucy made me grin. That little canine must be more of an irritation to Silas than I was.

Well, at least I’d picked a good place to skip Christmas. I didn’t miss the jolly Christmas songs on the sound system at the mall nor the never-ending merry-Christmas-happily-ever-after reruns on TV.

“Is there anything more I can do to help you, Maria?” Troy said. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk since our phone conversation.”

“Maybe. You and your family must know most of the Amish in this area.”

“Except for going away to college for four years, this has been my home. Why do you ask?”

“I came here on a fool’s mission, thinking I could find my mother.” Gathering my thoughts, I paused for a moment. “I keep thinking about that DNA test. In fact, I took the test three times using three different companies because I didn’t want to be in the idiotic position I find myself now.”

“I shouldn’t have let Nancy use our Internet,” he said. “I knew her father wouldn’t like it, especially being a minister and all. But I figured since she’s not yet baptized it was okay. And she begged me like crazy.” He flattened his palms together. “I never dreamed anything would come of it. She gave the website permission to post her contact information, using the business’s email and phone number.”

I couldn’t help but smile in return. “Believe me, no one was more surprised than I was.”

“I’ve heard that sometimes people who get tested find out more than they expected.”

“That’s for sure.”

“What do your parents have to say about it?”

“My mother died a couple of years ago. The whole time she was sick she never mentioned a thing. Dad’s the one who admitted I was adopted, as if it was no big deal.”

“Maybe it isn’t to him. Maybe he loves you as his own daughter.”

“Possibly, but growing up it always felt as though he favored my sister. In fact, I know he did. I sure wish my parents had just told me the truth as a child.”

“Would that knowledge have helped?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged one shoulder. “With so many Amish in this area, not to mention those who have probably moved away, I may never find my bio mom.” Speaking this reality made my heart feel as if it were caving in.

“Hey, Maria.” Troy reached over and took my hand, as if my fingers were the most delicate things on earth, then let go. “I’m not sorry I helped Nancy. Without that DNA test, you and I never would have met.”