Chapter Thirty-two
Lola
Johnny’s wedding was underway and everyone in the house was a nervous wreck. Claire wanted everything to be perfect and she had gone over and beyond the call of duty for her one and only son. Over the past two weeks, I kept my eyes on her, trying to make sure that the ill feeling I had inside of me wasn’t anything to make serious note of. It wasn’t. Claire was just being the wonderful woman she was. She was all about making sure that Joshua and I had everything we needed.
Just last night we had a conversation about her deceased husband who had left her a wealthy woman. She regretted not reaching out to help others as much as she could, but now that good fortune had come her way, she had no problem reaching out to those in need. Through her eyes, Joshua and I were in need and that was why she felt protective of us as well. I guessed if the tables were turned, and a woman with child came to my doorstep, I wouldn’t turn her away either. I was beginning to feel helpless, though. For someone who didn’t mind making her own money and taking care of her family, I felt terrible about letting Claire do so much. My goal was to get back on my feet as soon as I could and go from there.
“You two better hurry up,” Claire said while looking in the oval-shaped glass mirror.
We were getting dressed in her spacious bedroom for the wedding. Daisy was fidgeting in the chair, making it difficult for me to curl her hair.
“Daisy, you must be still,” I said. “I’m almost finished so take a few deep breaths and relax.”
Daisy let out a few deep breaths and slumped down in the chair. I did as best as I could with the curls, but when I heard Joshua crying, I laid the curling iron down.
Claire threw back her hand and trotted away from the mirror in her flowered sundress and white straw hat. “I’ll go get him. Finish turnin’ her into somethin’ spectacular for my Johnny. We don’t have much time to work with and some of the guests have started to arrive.”
Claire hurried out of the room before Daisy or I could say anything.
“She . . . she doesn’t like me, you know,” Daisy said. “I’ve been nothin’ but nice to that woman, but she’s always runnin’ around here bruisin’ my feelings.”
I kind of noticed Claire’s harshness toward Daisy too, but I wouldn’t dare make Daisy feel bad on her wedding day by bringing it up. I knew for a fact that she loved Johnny and he loved her. That was all that mattered. I relayed that message to Daisy, hoping that she would feel better.
“You’re right,” she said, looking in the mirror at the flowing curls I’d put in her hair. She began to blush. “Doggone it, girl, you got me lookin’ real pretty. How’d you manage to do that?”
I teased Daisy’s hair with the tips of my fingers and made her cheeks rosy red with blush. “I didn’t do it, you did. Johnny is going to go crazy when he sees you, so hurry it up and get your dress on.”
“Please,” Claire said, frantically hurrying into the room with Joshua. “We have to be ready to go in less than thirty minutes or else my John will get worried. So on your feet, girl. Get that dress on and plaster a big ol’ smile on that aging face.”
Daisy eyeballed me, but I gave her a wink. I reminded her how pretty she looked and helped her get into her dress. Claire stood by the bay window, staring down at the numerous guests she invited. Johnny had complained about his mother inviting people he didn’t know, but he allowed Claire to have it her way. Like often, she was rocking Joshua in her arms and had puckered her lips to kiss his fat cheeks.
“Your mama is goin’ to take good care of you, so don’t you worry your little precious self about nothin’ in the world,” she said.
I wasn’t sure if the mother she was talking to him about was her or me. But feeling uneasy again, I hurried Daisy into her dress and went to get my baby shortly thereafter.
“Okay,” I said, reaching out for him. “I’ll take Joshua now. You can go ahead and entertain your guests and make sure everything is in order with the wedding.”
Claire swung around, giving me the fakest grin I had ever seen. “I’m already done doin’ all that I’m goin’ to do. If you wouldn’t mind stayin’ here with Daisy until her father calls for her, I’d appreciate ya. Joshua and me are goin’ to greet some of the people already here. That’s if you don’t mind, Sasha. I hope you don’t mind me showin’ off your beautiful baby to my folks.”
I swallowed hard, but I didn’t dare do or say anything right now that would ruin Daisy and Johnny’s special day. Claire was going to get a piece of my mind about this, but the timing was not right. She trotted out of the room, singing to Joshua, and leaving me and Daisy in the room to talk.
“She sure does love your baby,” Daisy said.
I cut my eyes and sighed. “Yeah, I’m starting to get the picture. But come on, girlie. We got a wedding to get to.”
Still nervous, Daisy managed to make it down the steps and into her father’s awaiting arms. There were roughly one hundred guests there for the celebration. White chairs with soft pink bows filled a section of the manicured lawn. Johnny stood under a beautiful gazebo with two groomsmen. Daisy’s sister and mother were her maids of honor, but the dresses they wore were the most hideous dresses I’d ever seen.
I walked around shaking hands with many people I did not know. Claire referred to me as a long-lost relative, and she claimed Joshua as her child. She laughed behind her words, but I wasn’t feeling her at all. I remained calm, though, and when more guests came, I opened the door to let them in. I was dressed in a peach silk dress that melted on my curves. Pearls adorned my neckline and my soft makeup looked airbrushed on. Awhile back I had cut the majority of my hair off. It was layered and swerved behind my ears. Having the baby didn’t affect my weight too much, and the compliments about how beautiful I was kept pouring in.
“I love your dress,” one lady said, who introduced herself as a good friend of Claire’s. “Stunning. Truly stunning.”
Her husband agreed without saying a word. His lustful grin said it all. I invited them to hurry to the backyard where the wedding was getting ready to start. They rushed off. As soon as I got ready to close the double glass doors, I got the shock of my life. My legs weakened and stomach tightened at the same time. I blinked just to be sure that it was Mannish who I saw in my view. It was. There was no smile on his face and all he did was scratch his head.
“Lola,” he said, cocking his head back with a curious look on his face. His eyes scanned me over as if he’d seen a ghost.
I noticed him staring at my belly; then his eyes shot up to connect with mine. “You’re alive? Wha . . . what are you doing here and why haven’t you reached out to anyone?”
I was in a trance, near speechless, as I didn’t know how to respond. Didn’t know if I was in shock from seeing him, shocked by his questions, or in shock from seeing how spectacular he looked. Even in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, his look just did something to me. I stood as stiff as a mannequin, until I heard Claire’s voice behind me.
“Lola?” she said. “Who in the heck is Lola? Sir, you must have the wrong place, so I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Mannish rushed to say. “Not until I get some answers.”
I glanced at Joshua, hoping that Mannish wouldn’t put two and two together, at least until I was able to tell him what was really going on.
“Uh, Claire, this is a gentleman I met while at the grocery store with Johnny the other day. Johnny invited him to come, but I didn’t think he would show up. I told him my name was Lola, because, honestly, I didn’t want to be bothered.”
Claire looked Mannish up and down then cut her eyes. “You heard the woman. Shoo, boy. She’s not interested.”
The crease in Mannish’s forehead deepened.
I could tell he was irritated by what Claire had said. I quickly spoke up. “I . . . I wasn’t interested then, but I am now. So if you don’t mind, Claire, I would like to speak to him in private.”
Claire pursed her lips and went on about her business, with Joshua still in her arms. At this point, that was a good thing because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to tell Mannish about our son.
I invited him inside, and in an effort not to disrupt the wedding, I asked him to follow me upstairs to my bedroom. Mannish’s face was twisted with anger. I could tell he came for answers and he wanted them now. I opened the door to my bedroom and invited him to have a seat.
“I’m not interested in taking a seat, Lola. You need to tell me what’s going on. What are Blair and you up to now?”
His tone shocked me. Blair, Blasé, whatever the hell that fool’s name was, he and I weren’t up to a damn thing, and didn’t Mannish know better? He didn’t even seem happy to see me. Wasn’t this the same man who told me how much he loved me?
“If you came all this way to accuse me of playing games with Blasé, you can leave. I have no dealings whatsoever with that man. It’s because of him that I’m here and my family continues to suffer.”
“His name is Blair, Lola. But what I want to know is how did he know you were here? I . . . I thought he had killed you. Thought you were dead, Lola, until he called and told me where to find you.” Mannish plopped down on the chair, looking confused and flushed.
I knew all of this was hard to swallow, but it was hard on me too. “Blair had every intention of killing me. He knows where I am because of this fucking chip he put inside of me. He’s following my every move and has threatened to kill me and my family if I ever went back to Missouri. I . . . I shouldn’t be telling you all of this, but something is telling me that I need to get out of here. I’m starting to get bad vibes about being in this house.”
“A chip? He put a chip inside of you? Why . . . why didn’t he kill you, though? He is a man who does not go back on his word. There is something you’re not telling me, Lola.”
I had to come clean. It was now or never. Once again, I needed for Mannish to be there for me. Or if not me, for his child. I sat on the bed and dropped my head. This was so hard for me to say, because I figured that once he found out the truth, everything would change. Mannish rushed up from the chair and kneeled in front of me. Only like he knew how, he searched into my eyes and brought back a flood of feelings.
He held my hands with his then wiped a slow tear that had slipped from my eye. “Tell me, Lola. Why didn’t he kill you and what are you not telling me?”
“He . . . he didn’t kill me because I was with child. He said that he didn’t kill children, and my being pregnant is the only reason he allowed me to live. Now that I’ve had the baby, I don’t know what will happen next.”
Mannish hands eased away from mine. I could see the sheen of sweat that had formed on his forehead. He stood and turned away from me. “He told me that you had a son. Did you?”
“Yes. His name is Joshua.”
There was silence, and then Mannish swung around. “Wa . . . was he the baby that woman was holding in her arms? Is that my son?”
“Yes,” I said, listening to music that was playing outside. I also heard laughter, but there was nothing in this room to laugh about.
Mannish’s whole tune had changed. “But you were having sex with a lot of men, Lola. How do you know this kid is mine? How can I trust that you’re telling the truth?”
I wanted to go off, but I guessed his concerns were fair. Either that or he was looking for a way out, especially since he and Rio were now living happily ever after.
“Yes, I had sex with numerous men, Mannish, but I used condoms with all of them except you. Joshua was conceived the first time we had sex. I wouldn’t lie to you about anything like this.”
Mannish stared at me then turned his back toward me again. “Yeah, that’s what they all say, Lola. I . . . I don’t trust you. Hell, I don’t trust anybody anymore.”
I got off the bed and stepped up to him. I turned him around to face me with seriousness in my eyes. “I know what it feels like not being able to trust anyone. But I assure you that Joshua is yours. If you don’t believe me, take a paternity test. You’ll have your answer then, and you can deal with the fact that he’s your son however you wish.”
Mannish shrugged me off and paced the room. Obviously, what I had said weighed heavy on his mind. I’d dreamed of this day, but it was turning out nothing like I had imagined. I just knew he would be happy to see me alive, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
“What now, Lola?” he said. “What do you want from me? You’re hiding out here with these white people and have made no attempts to come back home. What about your family? They’ve been looking for you for months and Xavier has—”
“I know. Trust me, I know how much my family has been suffering without me, but there isn’t much I can do. I’d rather have them suffer now than suffer later. I’ve spent hours, days, and months trying to figure out a way out of this. But I have no answers. I wanted to contact you, but then I saw that you and Rio had reconciled so I decided against it. I didn’t want to interfere again, so I stayed here until I could figure out my next move.”
Mannish stroked his chin. “At this point, you really don’t have a choice. You and Joshua are coming home with me. I’ve always wanted a son, and if he is my child, I’m not going to be this far apart from him. We have to do whatever it takes to make this problem with Blair go away. I seriously don’t know how, though, because he’s a madman who is always looking for trouble.”
“You got that right. I’m not sure if now is the right time for me to make a move. If he knows that you’re here, he’s probably suspecting that I’ll be returning with you and our son. You know this man better than I do, Mannish, and it would be wrong to force me into a situation with him again. He said he’ll kill me if I came back. This chip is inside me for a reason.”
The look of concern and regret was in Mannish’s eyes. He avoided eye contact with me and glared out the window. His hands were in his pockets and his stare was without a blink.
I hated to go there with him, but I had to know the answer. “Did you miss me?” I said as I walked up from behind, rubbing the carved muscles that showed through his shirt. “Do you still think about us?”
Mannish’s head snapped to the side. “What?” he said, as if he hadn’t heard me.
“I said, do you still think about us? Don’t lie, Mannish, please. You’ve always been upfront with me and that is what I appreciated about you the most. It’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t stop thinking about you the whole time I was here. I tried to push the thoughts of you to the back of my mind, but it was so hard for me to do. And now that I have our child, I want this—”
“No, Lola,” he shouted. “I can’t do this with you again. I won’t do this with you, but I will always be there for my son, if he’s mine. This is not about us anymore. It’s been tough getting you out of my system, and I’m not about to turn back the hands of time. Rio and I are together and there is nothing or no one who will change that. Nobody, Lola.”
I backed away from Mannish, as I could see him struggling with his words. I could see it in his eyes that he still cared, but he was right. Now wasn’t the time to do this. We had bigger fish to fry and I had to make a decision about going back home. “Give me at least a week to think about what I need to do, Mannish. Until then, sit tight. I want you to spend as much time as you wish to with our son, but I must think about the consequences of us returning home.”
“I can’t give you one week, Lola. I’m afraid that you will disappear again. At least let me take my son with me today. Like I said before, I will figure out a way to get you home or bring home to you. I will give it everything I got, in hopes that you’ll be able to come home to your family and me soon.”
I loved this man—swore I did. He was always so willing to make things right and go to hell and back for me. That was how I knew he still loved me without him saying it. “I said that you could trust me and my word is bond. Stay with me for a few hours, and then I’ll let you leave with Joshua. The Watsons know me as Sasha Clemmons. I had to change my name so no one would question me. So do not refer to me as Lola, because it will set off an alarm that something is wrong.”
“Sasha, huh? Well, Sasha, take me to my son and we’ll go from there.”
By the time Mannish and I left the room, the wedding was over. Daisy and Johnny were dancing while a crowd of people surrounded them. I looked around for Claire but didn’t see her. I wondered where she had gone with Joshua, and when I asked around to see if anyone had seen her, one lady told me she saw Claire enter the house with my baby in her arms.
I asked Mannish to follow me, and we headed back upstairs to Claire’s room. She wasn’t there, but when I checked Joshua’s room, that was when I saw her standing in front of his crib. Even from the back, she looked unstable. I carefully walked up from behind her.
“I know,” she said as her voice cracked. “He’s here to take my baby, isn’t he? I knew this day would come, even though you said that you wanted nothin’ to do with that loser.”
I figured Claire was speaking of the abusive boyfriend who I told her I’d run away from. In no way did I want her to think that Mannish was the animal I had painted my son’s so-called father out to be, but I wasn’t quite ready to clear up everything for Claire yet. She seemed on edge, and I’d had enough of her referring to Joshua as hers. “I’m sorry, Claire, but Joshua needs to go with his father. There is no way for me to keep them apart, even though it didn’t work out between the two of us.”
Claire shot Mannish a cold look with deviousness in her watered-down eyes. Tears poured from them as she watched Mannish remove Joshua from his crib and hold him. With a slight smile on his face, I could tell that a paternity test was the furthest thing from Mannish’s mind. By looking at Joshua, Mannish knew right away that he had fathered this child. He placed Joshua’s head against his chest and slowly closed his eyes. “Thank God,” he said in a whisper. “What a blessing this truly is.”
Claire didn’t think so and she remained choked up. I reached out to her, but she walked away. Allowing Mannish some quiet time with his son, I left the room to find Claire. She had gone to her room and was sprawled across the bed. I surely didn’t want to hurt her, and I felt terrible for causing this ruckus, especially on Johnny’s wedding day.
“Claire, let’s go downstairs to join your guests. Johnny is probably wondering where you are. You don’t want to disappoint him, do you?”
Claire sat up on the bed, hands shaking as she wiped her flowing tears. “Why, Sasha? After all that I’ve done for you and Joshua, why would you want to leave? I’ll keep out of your way, I promise. I don’t want the two of you to leave, and why would you go anywhere with that crazy maniac, especially after how he treated you? I love Joshua so much. You are truly breakin’ my heart in a thousand pieces.”
I sat next to Claire, trying to console her. “Joshua and I appreciate all that you’ve done for us, but we both have to move on. I have some unresolved issues that I need to take care of, and Mannish is here to help me do it. Please be happy for me. I know this is the right decision, and the last thing that I would ever want to do is hurt you.”
Claire did her best to straighten up. She splashed water on her face, and she even changed clothes because the previous clothes she had on were wrinkled and soiled with tears. I was uneasy about the whole situation. But at this point, Claire’s hurt feelings was one of the last things on my mind. I was getting ready to depart with another one of my children, and that was not a good feeling. Thing was, I had to trust that Mannish would work everything out with Blasé and I would be able to come home soon. The thought of seeing my family again made me happy. The thought of Mannish and me being a father and a mother to Joshua was a good feeling. And even the thought of us getting closer and rekindling our love for each other was fresh in my mind. Seeing him with Joshua in his arms made me want us to be together more than ever. The delicate kiss that Mannish placed on Joshua’s forehead told me that he would be the best father ever. His eyes showed how much he already had love for his son and there was no way possible that Mannish would leave here without him.
Knowing so, I went back and forth from the after-wedding party to Joshua’s room, where I started to gather some of his belongings.
“He’s so handsome,” Mannish said, unable to take his eyes off Joshua. “We definitely have ourselves a beautiful son.”
“I agree. And ever since I brought him home from the hospital, all I’ve done is think of you. I’m so glad that you found out he was born, but if you think I’m going to thank Blasé for sharing the news, you’re sadly mistaken.”
“I’m not going to thank anybody right now but you. You endured a lot over these past several months, Lola, and you’re a very brave woman. I guess I underestimated you, and a huge part of me regrets not continuing my search for you.”
“Don’t look back on what you could or should have done, Mannish. You had your family to see about, and all the sacrifices that you made for me have never been forgotten.” I caressed his shoulders where he had taken bullets for me.
I continued to stuff Joshua’s diaper bag with some of his clothes and Pampers. What I thought was his favorite toy was in my bedroom, so I left Joshua’s room to go get it. As I passed by Claire’s room, I heard whispers coming from inside. I eavesdropped on a conversation between her and Johnny. They seemed to be going at it about something, but I couldn’t quite make out what was being said. When I heard footsteps moving toward the door, I backed away from it and went into my room.
Through the cracked door, I saw Johnny pause at Joshua’s door and look inside. Then Johnny walked away. Something didn’t seem right to me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Feeling nervous, I grabbed Joshua’s stuffed animal off my bed and hurried back into his bedroom. I didn’t want to alarm Mannish about my suspicions; after all, he’d think I was crazy and had lost my mind. But I wanted him and Joshua to leave soon—like right now.
“Claire is taking it pretty hard that Joshua is leaving. I’m going to go sit with her and calm her down. Meanwhile, why don’t you and Joshua get on your way? I’m putting a lot of trust in your hands, Mannish, only because I love you and I know you will do the right thing. Please figure out a way for me to come home or something. And hurry, Mannish.”
“I wish you could come back now, but you are right about the situation you may walk into if you do. Blair doesn’t make threats, he makes promises. I will handle this, and I appreciate you for doing this. It’s why I still have much love for you, too.”
Hearing Mannish say those words gave me even more reason to live and want my life back. And before I could reach out to give him a hug, he laid Joshua in the crib and reached out for me. His embrace was warm, gentle, and comforting at the same time. Without saying it, his vibe said, “I got this and you will be coming home soon.” Lord knows if I could have stripped him naked right then and there I would have. I wanted to taste his lips with a juicy kiss, but I knew Mannish wasn’t that kind of man anymore. He had a situation that needed to be worked out, and playing house with his wife and mistress was something he wasn’t going to do.
He backed away from our embrace with a smile on his face. I knew it was his attempt to make me feel at ease, especially when I had to pick up my son to say good-bye.
“I love you so much,” I said, holding Joshua close to my chest. “I will see you soon, but in the meantime, be good for your father. Take care of him, as I’m sure he’ll do everything in his power to take care of you.”
Facing another painful moment in my life, I gave Joshua to Mannish. I then turned my back and told him to leave quickly, before I changed my mind. Mannish didn’t hesitate. He said they’d see me soon and I was counting on it. The door closed and I burst into tears. Almost lost my balance as I stood next to Joshua’s baby crib, trembling and holding on to it. Then, all of a sudden, I heard what appeared to be gunfire. It shook me to my core and my heart had dropped somewhere beyond my stomach. In a panic, I rushed out the door, only to see Mannish standing still on the steps with Joshua secured in his arms. Johnny stood at the top of the stairs with a sawed-off shotgun aimed in Mannish’s direction. At the bottom stair was Claire. She had a rifle pointed at Mannish’s head, threatening to blow his damn brains out.
“You put my baby down right now or else! Do it now, you slimy Negro!” Claire said.
Mannish looked confused and shook his head from side to side.
“Please,” I shouted in an attempt to defuse the situation. “Put the guns down! He is the father of my child and he’s leaving with his son.”
Claire positioned the rifle on me; then she pointed it back at Mannish as she aimed to fire. “Over my dead body,” she said. “That baby ain’t goin’ nowhere, but the two of you are goin’ to hell!”
Gunfire erupted again, this time causing Mannish to duck and me to dash down the steps toward him and my son. I wondered why we kept finding ourselves in these fucked-up situations. If we somehow managed to get out of this mess, I was sure Mannish would find the time in his busy schedule to write about it. For now, though, there was no turning back from me lying to these people as Sasha Clemmons. I had to deal with the repercussions. I expected Mannish to come up with a master plan, but when he turned to me the only word that came from his mouth was “Run!” That was what we did, until we were stopped at the front door by Stoney wearing a sly smile on his face. He greeted us with the point of a 9 mm.
“Long time no see,” he said with pure contempt. “It’s time that we conclude my business deal with the Watsons.”
“What business deal?” I frowned, clueless about his intent.
“Joshua. We sold him to Claire the day we knew you survived. Now let’s settle this once and for all.”
I shook my head in disbelief as I heard my baby crying in his father’s arms. “We? Who are we? Why, Stoney? Why have you betrayed me like this? You sold my child. How’d you even know where we were?” No sooner than the questions left my mouth, the answers registered.
Joshua was screaming at the top of his lungs now. Through my peripheral vision, I saw Mannish trying to calm his son. But I knew the gunshots had terrified my precious child, and that he’d be afraid of loud noises for a long time coming.
“Come on, Lola,” Stoney said. “You’re a smart girl. Bragged about your intelligence for as long as I’ve known you.” He stepped inside and kicked the door closed, keeping the gun trained on me and Mannish. “I’ve been writing policies for a long time. Writing them didn’t get me rich. Loopholes did. Blasé’s gun makes sure we can walk through those loopholes and walk away with the death benefits.” Stoney laughed the laugh of a madman. “How did I know where you were? You’re a walking GPS. Blasé and I watched you since he dumped you in the Ozarks.”
Joshua cried.
“Of course,” Stoney said, “you weren’t supposed to live through that ordeal, but I told Blasé you’re a resilient bitch. Do you really think that Johnny was out there on that highway by coincidence the day you crawled out the water?” He looked to Johnny on the staircase. “How many times was it you said that you drove up and down that stretch of the road before you found her?”
“Six,” he said behind me.
“We—me and Blasé—sent him to get that baby you were carrying for them, so they could keep an eye on their surrogate mother.”
“You know,” Mannish said, gently bouncing Joshua. “I promised myself that if we ever crossed paths I would kick your ass for what you did to Lola. But I just promised myself a new level of violence.” Mannish tried to pass me our son at the same time the gun went off.
Almost immediately, there was silence. Joshua instantly stopped crying.
Together we looked down at our child, as his innocent blood dripped through our fingers. I screamed the cry of a million heartbroken mothers and dropped to my knees, realizing that all my efforts to protect my children ended up costing me one of their lives. Mannish dropped beside me with tears running down his face. He tried to save Joshua and talk to the 911 operator at the same time. But I knew Joshua was gone. I felt the very moment his soul disconnected from mine.
“You dirty nigger!” Claire yelled. “You fucking filthy nigger, you shot my baby.” She let her rifle express the rest of her anger.
Stoney’s body hit the floor with a dull thud. I never once looked back at him. I sat in silence, watching my lover hopelessly work to save Joshua as police sirens drew near.