One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside pastors and help them become all God created them to be, as well as help their churches to reach their fullest potential. From this passion South Hills Church has birthed online coaching, affiliate programs, and, of course, our own campuses. Some of these partners are churches that we plant, and others are churches that already existed but felt led by God to partner together and become part of the South Hills network. They believe that we are better together.
Because of this area God has led us to, I often find myself teaching what is known as “church planter labs.” Recently at one of the labs, I was asked a simple yet thought-provoking question. One of the young pastors in the lab raised his hand and said, “What do you think success is for a pastor?”
If you are a pastor and you can be brutally honest about how our society measures success, the first thing you think of is: How big is my church? There are other thoughts that race to the surface, such as how much money in tithes and offerings you are bringing in, how many staff you have, what type of facilities you meet in, and how many people are actively involved. These are all great areas to evaluate, but again, if we are honest, we as pastors judge each other by the size of our church. When you meet someone at a conference and discover that their church is much smaller than yours, you feel a little better. If you discover their church is two or three times larger than yours, then you feel a little worse. You secretly start sizing them up and thinking, How can this guy be doing better than me? Adding insult to injury happens when the other church is two or three times bigger and you discover they started their church three years ago when you just celebrated your tenth anniversary. What a fun moment (insert sarcasm).
So back to the church planter lab. This young pastor asked the question, “What do you think success is for a pastor?” I looked at this young man and said, “I believe the answer is found in the parable of the talents.” We all know the story Jesus told. A landowner goes on a long trip, but before he leaves, he brings his three servants together. He gives one of them five talents, one of them two talents, and one of them one talent. In this story the talents are money, but in reality they could have been anything that Jesus has given to us: resources, a special gift or skill set, a talent to lead or communicate, or something else. You see, the story Jesus told was less about money and more about doing all we can with all we’ve been given.
The story continues with the landowner returning from his journey. He brings his three servants together to see what they have done with the resources entrusted to them. It finishes this way in Matthew 25:
So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, “Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.” His lord said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” He also who had received two talents came and said, “Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.” His lord said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” Then he who had received the one talent came and said, “Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.” (vv. 20–25 NKJV)
The servant with the five talents did the absolute best he could. The servant with the two talents did the absolute best he could. However, the servant with the one talent did nothing with what he was given. This is such an incredible lesson for us. Pastor, it isn’t about what talent, gift, or skill you have; it all comes down to what you are doing with what you’ve been given. Think about this for a moment. It was the landowner who gave out the talents; the servants had no control over that. All they had control over was what choice they would make with the talents they were given. The same is true for us as pastors and leaders. God determines the talent but we determine the choices.
God isn’t looking for us to be something we are not. I can’t sing—God determined that talent. I can’t slam dunk a basketball—God determined that talent. He always determines the talent and we always determine the choices. What are we going to do with what he has given us? Are we going to bury it or are we going to squeeze out every single drop of God-given talent and ability that his sovereignty has placed in us? That’s the choice we have to make.
So the answer to the young pastor in the church planter lab was simple: “Success for a pastor is this: Are you living up to the talents he has given you? Think of it using a modern-day scale of 1 to 10. On this scale of 1 to 10, if you are a 6 but you are operating at a 4, that’s a problem. If you are operating at a 4, then you are leading your church at a 4 and you are not leading yourself or your church at the highest level possible.” This is how you define success as a leader: Am I living up to what he has given me?
The insecurity in us wants to constantly compare. We look at other churches and other leaders and think, Why isn’t my ministry as big as theirs? Can I ever do what they do? This is an unhealthy emotion that the enemy uses to hijack your potential and hinder your progress. It causes you to define success based on the talent God has given someone else. You can never win doing this. Again, God determines the talent but you determine the choices. God decides what talent he gives to you and why. We determine what we are going to do with it. Success isn’t about what someone else is doing. Success is being extremely honest with yourself and asking, Can I truly say I am doing the absolute best with the talent, skill, and gift God has given me?
I want you to notice something in the parable of the talents. The servants who received the five talents and the two talents did the best they could with what they were given. They were given different amounts. Success wasn’t about what the other guy was doing; it was about what they were each doing with what they were each given. Both of them had different gifts, and yet the landowner’s response was exactly the same for both of them. Literally word for word, he honored them the same way when he said, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.”
Pastors and leaders, please hear me when I say that your success is not based on what someone else can and cannot do. The measure of success is based on your living up to your potential, doing the absolute best you can do with what you have been given, digging deeper into your heart and soul, and seeking to become the leader God intended you to be. Remember, if God created you as a six-talent leader, there is nothing wrong with that. There is, however, a problem if you are a six-talent leader living at a four-talent level. Jesus takes us not living up to our potential very seriously; if he gives us something for his kingdom’s sake and we spend our time comparing, making excuses, or simply being lazy, we bury our talent and the kingdom loses.
The master’s frustration in this parable is displayed when he responds to the servant with one talent who did nothing with what he was given. Here is the way The Message paraphrases it: “The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest. Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb’” (vv. 26–30 MSG).
This frustration the master feels is the same way our heavenly Father feels, and the same way an earthly father feels. I have two amazing children, Grace and Aidan. Whenever there are moments that I know they are not living up to their potential—maybe a circumstance in school, a character choice, a spiritual decision, a lack of effort toward a project or goal—I get frustrated. My frustration isn’t based on anger; it’s really based on love. I love them so much, and I want to see them succeed in everything they do. So it hurts and frustrates me when I know they can do better and they’re not living up to their God-given potential. Their choice not to try as hard as they can or not to give 100 percent of their effort is going to rob them of possibilities in their lives. I have always told my children that “every person will suffer one of two things, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” If you don’t go through the pain of trying, learning, and developing, then you will go through the pain of regret, always wondering what could’ve been.
Please understand that this book is written to help you grow your church. Throughout this book we are going to gain clarity for the mission of your church, create strategies to help fulfill that mission, outline the values that will create the culture of your staff and of your church, and help repurpose your programs and services so that you can experience the growth God intended for your church. However, this chapter is an important step in our journey because, as we all know, everything rises and falls on leaders. You must first find the freedom not to compare your own skills to someone else’s talent, gift, or ability. You can never win that way. Use Jesus’s parable as a reminder that he determines the talents but we determine the choices. That’s up to him, not up to us.
So please hear this message: you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else or any other ministry. You’re not in competition with another pastor or church; you’re in competition with what’s possible.
With all that said, before we dive any further into this book it is important for you as a leader to stop and ask some honest, gut-wrenching questions. All the strategies in the world won’t help you as a leader if you are not willing to lead.
Ask yourself these questions, and don’t just breeze by them. Stop and really ask yourself:
I know these are tough questions to ask, and I hope that you are able to answer them honestly. Regardless of your answers, I want to help position your heart and spirit to get ready to learn, ready to develop, and ready to move your church into a pattern of predictable success. Please understand that the objective of this book is to set up your church for growth, so we must first set up our hearts for growth. If we don’t change, nothing will change.
Here are some practices that will help position your heart and spirit for the growth God wants to make happen in the life of your ministry.
Embrace Change
You’ve always heard that “people don’t like change.” I don’t think that is necessarily true. I don’t think people mind change; I think it’s the process they don’t like. Change could mean losing weight, getting a higher education, strengthening your finances, etc. Everyone wants those things but not everyone is willing to go through the process. It’s not much different in the ministry. Do we want our churches to grow? See more people come to Christ? More people getting involved? Increase in our giving? Maybe add more services or even add campuses? Overall most of us would say yes. We would love to see these changes in our churches. It’s the process we don’t like, not the changes. The process to get to the changes is the battle. You’re going to have to have some tough conversations about who you are as a church, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there. You’re going to have to evaluate areas that sometimes are uncomfortable to evaluate. You might need to rethink how you do your services, what programs you need to stop, what traditions you need to let go of. You can’t keep doing the same things and expect different results. If you want change, then change is necessary.
Stay Hungry for Growth
There’s a saying among the staff at our campuses: “Stay hungry and humble.” Have a hungry heart that never stops growing and a humble heart that never stops asking. Throughout this book and the conversations I hope it creates among your team, fight hard to keep a teachable spirit. If you don’t possess a teachable spirit, then you are going to end up with tools in your hand that you have no idea how to use.
I have noticed over the years that leaders are usually in one of two places: (1) a place of continual challenge, or (2) a place of continual comfort.
Choose not to be the latter. Instead, be the leader who has a teachable spirit and whose heart is absolutely wide open to learn and grow. If you don’t build this in yourself, it won’t be found in your team. The result will show up in your church, which will never experience the growth that it could experience, all because it’s being led by someone who has become more comfortable with the way things are rather than challenged by the way things could be.
Take the Lead
There are a lot of things you can delegate. Administration, phone calls, emails, follow-ups, hospital visits, facility management, HR, finances, and a host of other things most pastors and leaders don’t like to do. However—please hear me, Pastor—you absolutely, positively, without a doubt cannot and should not delegate the leading of this charge. You are reading this book because you want to grow. That’s what this book is designed to help you do. To help put the right tools in your hands to set a course of growth for your church. But you can’t delegate this journey. Creating clarity regarding mission, strategies, values, culture, and reevaluating how you do church and how you can do it better has to be led by you. I’m not saying you are the one who should have all the answers; as a matter of fact, I would strongly discourage that. But I am saying that you need to be leading the discussions around the table, getting your team on board, reading through this book together, and fighting for the answers that will lead you to growth. Your team must sense in you a passion to grow a thriving church and the willingness to do what it takes to make that happen. If you don’t take this seriously, then they won’t take it seriously. Paul said to Timothy, “Fight the good fight” (1 Tim. 6:12). Pastors and leaders, this is a fight worth fighting. There is too much on the line not to fight. We are talking about advancing your church, moving it forward, creating momentum, and causing it to have continual and sustainable growth. This is your fight, Pastor. Get in the ring and start swinging.
Seek Help
This book will serve your journey well. It will create conversations among your teams, force you to evaluate, put practical tools in your hand, and get your church moving in the right direction. But your journey cannot stop with this book. You are going to need more help. I always say, “Professionals get coached and amateurs learn by trial and error.” If you want to be a pro, then get help. Think about it: every major athlete who is at the top of their game is still getting coached. The reason they are getting coached is because familiarity breeds neglect. The more familiar you become with your chosen profession, the more you become blind to what is plainly obvious to everyone else. That’s what professional athletes are doing. They are paying someone to see something that they can no longer see. That’s how you change, that’s how you improve, and that’s how you win.
Read this book and apply what you learn, but follow it up by getting some outside voices to speak into your ministry, to guide you on what is next and how to implement the necessary strategies. Our team would be open to helping you, and we believe that we could serve your ministry well. But whether you get help from us or from someone else, whatever you do, seek help somewhere. Someone who has been down the road you are headed on and can show you exactly how to navigate through it.
Remember the young pastor in the church planter lab that I spoke about earlier in this chapter? He asked the question, “What do you think success is for a pastor?” Remember where we found the answer; it’s in the parable of the talents that Jesus taught. Success for a pastor is measured by what they are doing with what they’ve been given. That’s how you measure success. God decides the talent but we decide the choices. Are we doing all we can? Are we leading, growing, changing, and fighting to become all we can in him and through him? Are we seeking the help necessary? Are we leading the charge? Are we keeping our hearts hungry and humble?
If you’re a level six leader, that’s awesome. It’s how God made you. The problem happens if you are operating at a lower level than what he has given you. Don’t settle for anything less than God’s best for your life, and finally, please find the emotional freedom that comes from choosing not to compare yourself to anyone else. It never works. You are not in competition with another pastor, church, or ministry. Your focus is on knowing that you are genuinely doing your absolute best and you are being all that God created you to be. Rest in that.