Congratulations! Why am I congratulating you? It’s not because you’ve hit the bottom of the Chunky Monkey ice cream container, it’s because you’re actively taking steps to work through your breakup. And you want to hear something glorious? There’s life after a breakup. Every setback is a setup for a comeback, and yours will be fierce. If you’re wallowing in the depths of your heartbreak, then you probably want to throw this book at me right now, but I promise it’s true. There’s life after a painful, soul-crushing, shameful, feels-like-you-lost-the-love-of-your-life-and-can-barely-breathe breakup. I’m living proof.
Say goodbye to zombie mode. It’s time to begin your transformative journey to a healed heart and more fulfilling love life. Think of this book as your road map to breaking up and bouncing back. Your world may have come crashing down, but there’s secure, healthy, and happy love out there. But first we have to get your breakup grief in check, reflect on your love lessons, identify negative patterns, rebuild and release your inner confidence, get laser-focused on what you need in a partner, and learn how to analyze your dating data so that you can become a smarter, more intentional dater. If you’re sarcastically thinking, “Pff, that’s all?” don’t feel overwhelmed; I’ve got you, girl! I’ll be here walking you through every step of the way.
What would normally take months of expensive therapy, I’ll deliver to you short and sweet in this book. As a licensed mental health counselor and dating coach specializing in relationship issues and healing broken hearts, I’m putting my best stuff right here in your hands. Throughout the book, I’ve referred to my own personal experiences, as well as those of my clients, whose confidentiality I’ve protected by changing identifying information. Through my research and work, I’m always blown away that despite our differences in individual stories, much of our emotional and neurochemical experiences during heartbreak and falling in love are quite similar. So whether you were cheated on, were ghosted, didn’t feel like a priority, couldn’t communicate and repair conflicts, had different emotional needs, argued over sex or money, didn’t feel safe and secure in the relationship, weren’t on the same page about what you wanted in life, or fell out of love, this book is for you.
Beside your box of tissues, you’ll create your own Bounce Back Journal, in which you’ll respond in depth to the exercises throughout the book. As a therapist, it’s my job to ask challenging questions that increase insight into your thoughts and behaviors. The awareness you gain from these exercises will be extremely valuable in your bounce-back journey. Plus, writing is a beneficial tool to aid in identifying and gaining control of your emotions. It’s a quiet time to transfer all of those swirling thoughts from your mind concretely onto paper, which can be quite healing in itself.
Before we get started, just a heads-up that throughout the book I use the term “breakup,” but it’s appropriate for someone going through a divorce too. I also write mostly about straight couples, but my advice generally holds true for individuals of any sexual orientation or gender, and I’ve opted to use the singular pronoun “they” to be as inclusive as possible. So without further ado, let’s kick this off and begin your transition from heartbroken to wholehearted!