The day came when Professor James Martin was no longer employed by her university. It was scandalous in the science department. The professors who fought so hard to have a position extended to James were in a tizzy. They could not believe that such a respected man could be so disrespectful, abandoning them in their time of need.
Heidi kept her opinions to herself, but she did feel the same feeling of betrayal that was shared by her tenured colleagues. James left her for good only a few hours ago, and she had only known him for a few short months. Somehow, she felt like the person she was meant to be with had been pulled out of her grasp. Heidi was concerned that she would always be alone. Maybe that was her destiny. Maybe that was okay.
She kept to herself over the course of the first lonely week. Classes dragged. The weather remained gray and cold. Friends texted or didn't text, as friends were wont to do. Heidi took over leading Professor Martin's class for the time being – while they looked for a suitable substitute for the rest of the term. They told her leading the class would look fantastic on her resume. Heidi didn't care as much as she should have.
When Friday night arrived, Heidi packed up her backpack and headed home. It was already dark. The Upper Peninsula in the winter never held on to sunlight for very long. It was romantic, almost. She watched her breath escape in white curlicues and travel up to meet the clouds. It amazed Heidi that the human body could create these puffs of water, so light, so tenuous, so beautiful. She should have studied chemistry.
Instead of returning to her apartment, Heidi turned down the path toward the lake. She spent so much time indoors these days. With a heavy snowfall knocking at Michigan's door she wanted to soak up as much outdoor time as possible before being blocked in by feet of that chilly white stuff. Besides, she had no prior obligations for the first weekend all term. Now that she lacked a boss she was surprised by all the things she could get away with.
When she reached the edge of the beach, she put her backpack at the foot of a large tree. Her laptop sat safely on her desk at home. She carried with her only textbooks and papers. If someone wanted to steal that, more power to them.
She slipped off her shoes as well, leaving them in a small pile under her backpack. Heidi loved going barefoot, feeling the sand slip between her toes. Her feet were already a little chilly. She may as well enjoy the cold.
The sand was soft, damp, and cold. Heidi shivered as it hit the ball of her foot. She continued away from the university, farther along the beach. Lake Michigan was beautiful in the dark. It moved rhythmically, small undulations in the dark. The few stars she saw through the clouds danced across the water's surface, sparkling and winking at her with each wave.
She breathed in deeply, listening to the rise and crash of each wave against the beach. Soon the ice would come and the waves would have a more hollow sound. Soon the water would make everything cold and no one would venture near the water's edge except to ice fish. She was lucky she had this beautiful night to herself. Friday nights with no boyfriend made it much easier to find the beauty in nature.
Heidi walked up a small bluff. The grass tickled her feet, making her miss the soft kisses of the sand. It was too cold for bugs, but Heidi imagined crickets and other small critters jumping out of the way of her feet. She smiled, feeling like a giant.
When she made it to the bluff she perched on the edge of the outcropping. Her feet dangled off the edge. She watched the water and her mind wandered to James. Did he miss her? Had he truly felt a friendship blossoming between them, maybe something even more?
Heidi dropped her head to her hands. She'd been too hard on him, that was certain. Why had she just left him in his office? Why hadn't she tried to get in touch with him before he left? She'd completely ruined any chance she had on getting him back. And, truth be told, a recommendation letter.
Heidi flopped back into the cool grass. Blades tickled her cheeks and Heidi flipped over onto her stomach. Her breasts pushed into her shoulders and her shirt rode up exposing the small of her back above her jeans. The small strip of exposed flesh on her stomach pressed into the grass but she did nothing to cover herself. She wasn't going to be ashamed of her body here. She was alone.
There was a crash down the bluff. Heidi stiffened. Her mind jumped back to the family of bears she had helped James study. Where was their den again? Was it around here?
Heidi pushed herself up, her hair askew, curls sticking up every which way. Her eyes snapped to the edge of the trees. She sat perfectly still.
The rustling repeated itself. Again. And again. It sounded like footsteps, four footsteps. Heidi held her breath and reviewed the bear safety tactics she knew. She wasn't going to get mauled. Probably. Not right away, anyway. Maybe she could even jump off the edge of the bluff if she needed, it would hurt but bear teeth would hurt more.
The rustling stopped and Heidi listened. She could hear her heart hammering away in her chest. She could hear the rise and fall of each wave. She could hear the wind rustling in the tree branches. She heard nothing from the trees. She let her shoulders relax.
With a crash, a bear ran out of the forest. Heidi's life flashed before her eyes. She scolded herself for spending so much time studying. Would anyone tell James that she'd died?
The bear looked around, locked eyes with Heidi, and ran in her direction. Heidi couldn't look away from the gray-gold eyes. This would be the last thing she saw before she died.
As the bear got closer she watched it change. With each step, it's body seemed to lengthen in some places and grow in others. Its nose pulled back into its face. Its front legs shrunk and its back legs lengthened. Its stomach pulled up and in, its neck lengthened. Hair disappeared.
James walked toward her, naked and concerned. Heidi began to breathe again, putting a hand to her chest.
"What," she said, "the actual fuck?"