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TWO WEEKS LATER, MERCY ENJOYED a quiet Saturday morning with Ethan and her boy.
It had warmed her heart that Ethan had volunteered to say grace before breakfast. He’d said he’d wanted to go to church on Sunday together. She’d tried to lead Cole to the Lord to no avail. And here, she hadn’t done much but could already see signs of changing in Ethan.
Thank You, Lord.
The scents of cinnamon and bread spread in the air as their small family munched on French toast she’d cooked.
“What do you all think about going to a seafood restaurant next week? One right on the ocean?” Ethan smiled as he cut the French toast into smaller pieces for Stevie. “Or would you rather have Italian? Or Chinese?”
“Seafood!” Stevie took a deep sip of his orange juice.
Ethan glanced at her, and she nodded. “Sounds great to me.”
During the last two weeks, he’d taken her to an Italian restaurant twice in the neighboring McAllen and a Mexican one in Rios Azules while his parents babysat. Mercy’s heart warmed as she thought about those wonderful evenings.
Still, she liked it that Ethan would include Stevie this time. During the follow-up visit two days ago, the doctor had said that Stevie was recovering surprisingly fast and okayed the restaurant and even the zoo visit, provided they used the stroller and that they took Stevie home at the first sign of tiredness.
“How is the job hunt going?” Ethan took several bites of his French toast. “I’m fine with you staying at home, and I love home-made dinners. But I want you to do what makes you happy.”
Mercy perked up. “Oh, you’re not going to believe this. One of your neighbors has her own business, and she said that her accountant is retiring in two months. She needs a part-time accountant. I’ll be working only several hours a week.”
Ethan grinned. “I take it you got the job? Congratulations!” He walked around the table and placed a kiss on her cheek, then returned to his seat.
His smile and his kiss made her swoon.
Mercy took a moment to recover. “What’s more surprising, she said that a bad reference from my boss is the best reference to her and that other people I worked with gave me stellar recommendations. Apparently, everyone does know everyone in small towns.”
“Cariño, your reputation precedes you. You totally deserve it.” His eyes showed admiration for her.
“Thank you.” Deep inside, she was glad the job wasn’t a full-time one. She wanted to spend more time with Stevie and she enjoyed cooking for him and Ethan. She started working in the yard, and it brought her a serenity she hadn’t expected. And she finally had time for friends, including new ones, her neighbors, two of them turning out to be moms, too.
Her life was so different from her previous one with Cole, which was filled with fear and anxiety. She should be happy.
She was happy.
But a nagging feeling of worry, of things being too good had appeared from time to time. Something was bound to happen. She was content with a quiet, simple family life. But was Ethan? And if so, for how long?
Mercy hushed the feeling and winked at Ethan, hinting it was time to make the announcement to Stevie, the trip they’d discussed yesterday.
Ethan leaned to her little boy—no, their little boy. “What do you think about a zoo trip today?”
Stevie put the glass on the table so fast the water sloshed. “Really?”
Ethan nodded. “Of course. We’ll see giraffes, gorillas, lions, bears, sharks, crocodiles, chimpanzees, kangaroos...” Ethan paused. “Mercy, help me out here. Who else do they have there?”
Mercy smiled. “I don’t think you need to sell the zoo trip to Stevie. I’m sure you had him at zoo.”
“Oh, and you’ll be able to touch a stingray if you want to.” Ethan grinned at Stevie.
The boy’s clapping was confirmation of her words. “Let’s go.” He jumped from his chair.
“No, mister. Not before you finish your breakfast.” She pinned Stevie with a stare.
“Oh, Mommy.” Stevie climbed on the chair dejectedly. He turned his gaze to Ethan. “Daddy?”
“This French toast is delicious. I bet I can finish it before you do.” Ethan started working his way through the remains of the breakfast. “Let’s see who’s faster.”
“I can beat you, Daddy!” Stevie finished the pieces Ethan had cut for him in no time.
About two hours later, which included a long drive, they entered the zoo.
Her pulse increased in excitement. Feeling like a kid again, Mercy glanced around. “Who should we see first?”
“Giraffes!” Stevie jumped up and down in his stroller.
“Then it’s decided.” Ethan looked at the map in his hand and pointed in the direction of the area where African flora and fauna was displayed. Then he rolled the stroller there.
“Have you been here before?” Ethan asked Mercy while Stevie was watching the staff of the zoo giving treats to two giraffes.
“When I was seven. But I barely remember anything. Besides, many things have changed since then. New areas and pavilions added.” Mercy searched her memory. “My parents were busy working most of the time, so I was grateful to have that trip.”
“I can relate.” Ethan took Stevie’s hand, and they moved to watch the lions behind a tall glass wall and, what was scarier, hear them roar.
Mercy nodded as she held Stevie’s hand and did her best not to step back at the sound of another roar. “Your father was busy advancing his business, and your mother tried to help him as much as she could.”
“And my brother was sickly, so he took all their attention not already taken by work.” There were notes of bitterness in Ethan’s voice.
“Daddy, Mommy, I wanna see kangaroos!” Stevie tugged on her hand.
Mercy smiled. “Let’s go to the area with Australian animals, then.”
Once there, Stevie pointed at the animals. “Look at that bag!”
Mercy nodded. “That’s a pouch where kangaroo mamas carry their kangaroo babies. If I were a kangaroo, that’s where I’d carry you.”
“Wow!” Stevie’s eyes widened. “But I wouldn’t wanna stay in the pouch. No zipper to keep babies in.”
Ethan chuckled. “They don’t stay in the pouch forever. Eventually, they stick their heads out and then jump from the pouch when they feel secure enough. I think after two hundred thirty-five days, they leave the pouch forever.”
“Forever? Don’t they miss their mommy?” Stevie’s eyes grew large.
“I’m sure their mommy misses them.” Mercy felt like hugging Stevie tight.
Ethan continued, “I believe the largest species in the family are called kangaroos, and the intermediate size are called wallaroos. The smallest ones are wallabies. Kangaroos are included in the Australian coat of arms. They are featured in many books and movies.”
Mercy nudged him in the side and mouthed, “How do you know all these things?”
“Read on the internet,” Ethan mouthed back.
Huh.
She hadn’t thought of reading up on the animals before heading to the zoo.
“Daddy, can you read me a book about a kangaroo?” Stevie watched the animals jump around with obvious fascination.
“Already bought it.” Ethan fished his phone out of his pocket and took several pictures of the kangaroos and helped Stevie take pictures.
Just as Ethan was about to take a picture of her and Stevie with the animals in the background, a blonde woman of about forty years old volunteered, “Would you like me to take a picture of all of you?”
“That would be great.” Ethan handed her his phone.
Mercy’s heart did a flip-flop as his arm slid around her waist. She put her hand on Stevie’s shoulder and leaned into Ethan. She shouldn’t get used to this, to his closeness, his caring ways, his smile. But she couldn’t help herself.
After snapping several pictures, the woman returned the phone to Ethan and walked away with the words, “Such a beautiful family.”
A deep longing entered Mercy’s heart again. Even though they hadn’t started this way, she, Ethan, and Stevie were a family. Would they stay that way? She chased her doubts away.
“Let’s go see the chimpanzees!” Stevie interrupted her thoughts. “Bye, kangaroo!”
“That way.” Ethan pointed in the direction.
“Daddy, up.” Stevie tugged on his hand.
“Sure.” Ethan lifted him.
Stevie tucked his face into Ethan’s shoulder. “I love you, Daddy.”
The expression on Ethan’s face was priceless. “I love you, too, buddy.”
Mercy’s heart nearly melted.
She gave silent thanks to the Lord.
“Are you feeling okay, sweetie? Not tired?” She touched her son’s shoulder.
Stevie shook his head vigorously. “Not tired! I’m okay.”
She rolled the empty stroller, and the three of them marched toward the area with the chimpanzees. Things were so easy when Ethan was around. She’d learned early in her marriage to Cole she couldn’t rely on him. She could rely on Ethan.
Once they made it to the area, Stevie stirred. “Down.”
Ethan placed him in the stroller. “If you start feeling tired, let us know, and we’ll go home.”
“Okay.” Her son watched the chimpanzees with obvious fascination.
She shifted closer to Ethan. “Why are you so nice to us?”
He could be spending the weekend with his buddies like Cole had done, or working, like her father or Ethan’s dad had done for years. Instead, Ethan was spending his spare time with the boy who, in reality, wasn’t his son.
“Tell me honestly, are you happy right now?” The gaze of Ethan’s dark eyes was thoughtful, inquiring.
“Of course.” Especially if she stayed in the moment, not thinking about the past or the future.
“Making you and Stevie happy makes me happy. You and Stevie mean so much to me.” He smiled at her.
How could she resist losing her heart to this man? “Really?”
“I have feelings for you. Strong feelings that are growing stronger every day. I know we’re not doing this in the right order. First, we got married and now we’re dating. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
“I have strong feelings for you, too,” Mercy said when she was finally able to utter a single word. She lowered her voice to make sure her son wouldn’t overhear her. So far, he seemed to be taken by the chimpanzees. “But I don’t know if you can change your ways. And... I come with emotional baggage. It’s difficult for me to trust someone.”
“I can be very patient.” Ethan’s eyes darkened.
“You should know something. The night Cole died... we had an argument. I begged him to stop gambling and to get help for his addiction. He yelled that he’d had enough of my nagging. That Stevie and I took away his freedom.” She paused. It was difficult for her to talk about this.
“I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
“I asked Cole to lower his voice so as not to wake up Stevie. Cole screamed that he should’ve walked out a long time ago, that I held him back and he hated me for that. He stormed out, got drunk at a bar, and crashed his car into a tree.” She glanced in Stevie’s direction to check on him while her eyes prickled with tears.
“It wasn’t your fault Cole died.” Compassion flashed in Ethan’s eyes.
“I surrendered my guilt to the Lord. I don’t blame myself for Cole’s death anymore.” Mercy took a deep breath.
“I wouldn’t do to you what Cole did.” Ethan’s voice was sincere.
“I know that.” Her heart bled at the memory. She checked on Stevie again. “But if you decide you’ve had enough of our marriage, I don’t know how to stop you.”
“You’ve got it all wrong.” Ethan stepped closer to her.
“I’m hungry! Like a bear!” Stevie’s voice brought her back from memory lane.
Ethan gave her a long look as if he wanted to say something else and then ruffled Stevie’s hair. “I’ll go get some snacks. I’ll be back soon.”
“Let’s go look at the ostriches.” She rolled Stevie’s stroller.
“Oh, yeah. They hide their heads in the sand when they are afraid, right, Mommy?”
Mercy nodded.
Am I hiding my head in the sand about my marriage?
Minutes later, Stevie peered at the large birds. “I want out of the stroller.”
She moved him out of the stroller and placed him on the ground. Then she squatted and studied Stevie. “Do you still feel okay?”
“Yes.” He nodded several times, as if for emphasis. “Let’s look at the ostriches.”
She took his hand. While he watched the huge birds, her thoughts wandered.
Ethan probably meant what he’d said about having strong feelings for her. But this was when she wished she didn’t know him so well or that he hadn’t told her so much about his relationships in their friendship years.
He’d developed feelings for some of his girlfriends sometimes, but those feelings evaporated about a month later after dating them. Ethan’s feelings could change fast.
Then something felt wrong.
Her hand was empty!
“Stevie?” Her heart sinking, Mercy looked around.
There was a family nearby with small twin boys, but her son was nowhere to be seen. Mercy did her best to push down the panic.
How could he have slipped away?
“Stevie, where are you?” She raised her voice.
The ostriches looked at her but of course didn’t answer.
Mercy frantically searched around but came up empty. She couldn’t push down the panic any longer. Her little boy was lost in a place with a lot of wild animals. Granted, they were secured, but one never knew. And Stevie hadn’t fully recovered after the surgery.
Her world crashed around her.
