22. Don’t get caught in the righteousness of your path

While i’m fortunate that Gibbs has been totally supportive of the inner explorations I have pursued in recent years, his methods of connecting with the soul have been quite different from mine. Happily, we’ve been able to establish a relationship in which we can each follow our own inclinations, respect each other’s choices, and share with each other what we’re learning.

But no matter how comfortable we are with our diverse paths, part of me wishes we were both on the same path. Namely mine, of course.

Recently, we took our own private retreat together at a favorite spot of ours in the mountains. He did his thing, and I did mine. After several days of quiet contemplation we found ourselves sitting side by side. I was reading about zen meditation; he was reading a biography of Napoleon.

Finally, I decided to ask him a question that had been on my mind since I had begun this process of looking within.

So I turned to him and said, “Do you think I’m more evolved because I’m doing all this searching? Or are you more evolved because you aren’t?”

He pondered this for a quiet moment, then said, “Maybe we’re both evolved, but we’re just expressing it in different ways.”

I had to acknowledge the wisdom of this response. And it gave me the chance to see that at some subtle level I had been feeling smug about the rectitude of my inner work.

As we discussed it further, I also had to consider the fact that being evolved had nothing to do with it—we’re both simply doing our own thing. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the inner quest is somehow superior to the activities of the everyday world. But inner seeking is just inner seeking. There’s nothing inherently better about it. Outer explorations are just as necessary and just as valuable. The inner stuff often seems more important to those who are in the midst of it because many of us have spent so much more time recently in the marketplace and so little time cultivating our own souls. When our lives are in balance, there is no distinction between the outer and the inner.

This is a good lesson for me to remember. And remember. And remember.

I share it here in case you might need to remember it at some point, too.