49. Practice detaching

When you find yourself in situations where your blood is boiling or your stomach is churning, try to get into the habit of stepping outside yourself and becoming the observer.

This is easier to do in the heat of the moment if you’ve practiced it before the battle gets started.

Whenever you find yourself going through a particularly difficult time, make a point of taking five or ten minutes at the end of the day to practice detaching.

Perhaps you’ve had an argument with a coworker, or a disagreement with your spouse. As soon as you have the opportunity, sit quietly and do some work at the alpha level (#30).

Imagine being back in that scene. See in your mind’s eye the inner you stepping away from the fracas and simply observing what’s going on. Run through the entire argument in your mind with the inner you not being part of it, simply watching from the sidelines.

If you do this consistently, not only will you find that it relieves some of the tension of the current problem you’re dealing with, but it will become an automatic response you can fall into when you find yourself in the fray again.

Detaching releases the tension, diffuses the negative energy, and helps you to see the insignificance of this event in the whole scheme of things. It also gives you a chance to see what lessons you might need to learn from this encounter.