When jack calls, tell him the truth. Simply say, “You know, Jack, I appreciate you asking, but I really don’t feel like having dinner out on Saturday night. I’ve been going out too much lately, and I’d really rather stay home and spend time with the kids.”
If Jack is your friend, he’ll understand, even if he might not be happy about it. If he’s not your friend, it doesn’t matter. If you have a hard time saying no, however, this will still be difficult for you. Practice. Role play, either on your own, or perhaps with your support group (#23).
Remember, you’re taking responsibility for your life now, especially the time you need for your inner life. Take a close look at how much time you could save for yourself next week, if you started this week being honest with people by saying no to the things you don’t really want to do.
Obviously, there are some social situations where a little white lie is simpler to deal with, not only for you but for the other party as well. But for family and friends with whom you’re closely connected, it’ll be much more liberating for both of you if you simply and honestly convey your feelings. How much you decide to disclose will depend on the circumstances.
You can apply this same philosophy of honesty to any situation you find yourself in. Own up to how you really feel about not doing something. If you express your feelings with sincerity, people will accept them.