There’s no getting around it: many of the steps we must take to achieve inner simplicity require self-discipline.
Recently, while trying to eliminate a particularly recalcitrant habit, I remembered a system I developed when I was eight years old that, more than anything I’ve ever done, helped me build self-discipline. Just for fun, I tried it again to see if it still worked. It did. So I’m passing the idea on to you here, for whatever it’s worth.
When I was in the third grade I woke up one day and realized I was the only kid I knew who was still sucking my thumb. I wanted desperately to stop, but after eight years the habit was deeply ingrained. Nothing I did seemed to help.
Then I got the bright idea of giving up thumb-sucking for Advent. So I rounded up a Lahey Mortuary calendar—the kind with a pretty picture on the top half and the days of the month in one-inch squares on the bottom half—and hung it on my wall next to my bed where I was forced to look at it every night. And I went out and got a box of stick-on gold stars.
My agreement with myself was that I’d get a gold star for every day I got through without sucking my thumb. By the time Advent was over I’d stopped the habit, and as an added benefit, I’d started building self-discipline.
Many times over the years I called on that same system for developing discipline, both for starting good habits and for getting rid of bad ones. Somewhere along the way I gave up the gold stars, but through the years I’ve used a one month time-frame to keep track of my progress in whatever discipline I’m trying to establish.
Rewards are also an important factor when you’re dealing with habits—though if you’re motivated enough, getting rid of the offending habit may be its own reward. Obviously, motivation is the key. The calendar and the stars are simply visual tools to help keep track of your progress, evaluate your success, and spur you on to the end of the month.
You may think gold stars are not sufficient reward for you at this point in your life, though they’re probably cheaper and less fattening than one of your addictions. And this whole idea may sound childish and absurd to you, which it is. But it works. I strongly urge you to humor yourself here. Recapture some of your childhood enthusiasm and get excited about gold stars. Besides a couple of dollars for the box of stars, and possibly a bad habit, what have you got to lose?