64. Stop Worrying

Worry, like negative thinking, is a habit. And, like negative thinking or any other habit, it can be broken once we become aware of it. But worry is sometimes so subtle and so insidious—and so pervasive in our society—that we can worry for years and not even be aware of it.

I learned this lesson a few years back when I had completed a major promotional project for a company I worked for. After months of long, hard, demanding hours and many sleepless nights when I would lie awake worrying if everything would be all right, the deadline was met and the project was finally completed. It was out of my hands; there was not a single thing more I could possibly do about it.

One night a few weeks later, before I had had a chance to start another project, I realized I was still waking in the middle of the night and lying there worrying—even though there was nothing at all to worry about. Perhaps this same thing has happened to you.

As I lay there, I had one of those lightbulb experiences we all have from time to time. I saw in a flash that I’d been moving through life from one worry to the next. I examined each of the circumstances as I could remember them, and it became clear that not only had there never been anything to worry about, but worrying had never served any useful function. It was totally wasted energy that kept me from experiencing the joy of the moment and from getting any real sense of accomplishment from my work.

If you’re a worrier, think about using the black bean system (#63), or any other method that works for you, to become aware of of the extent of your habit. Then, if necessary, use the discipline calendar (#61) to eliminate worries from your life.

A worry-free life is incredibly liberating, and it will help you achieve inner peace.