We human, for the most part, still maintain our herd instincts. It’s comforting to be one of the pack, and to have family, friends, and loved ones near by to help us grow, at least at the start of our journey.
But it sometimes happens that the people we are closest to don’t really support us. Look around you, not just at your spouse and the family members you’re involved with, but at all the relationships and associations you have in your life. The lack of support can be so subtle. We can hang out for years with someone we love and think of as a friend before we begin to realize that the relationship isn’t really helping us and, in fact, has been holding us back.
It’s easy to be deceived by the comfort a longtime relationship appears to offer you. There’s a certain ease that comes with familiarity and from knowing each other’s history, and from the history the two of you have built together, even when it’s been tumultuous.
But there comes a time when you have to ask some hard questions: Does that person really love you, or are they hanging on to you because of their own lack or their own needs? They may say they love you, but do they make you feel loved? Are they really happy with you in your successes, or do they always manage to put you in the wrong? Do they love you enough to let you go on to bigger and better things, even if it means they get left behind?
Nonacceptance and subtle putdowns can be powerful deterrents to your growth. If you’re not getting the love and support you need from the relationships in your life, it’ll be much harder for you to achieve inner simplicity.
If you’re moving on, sometimes there is really no choice but to leave behind those who may not be ready to move on with you.
Often you simply have to retreat with a smile, and gradually but resolutely reduce their presence in your life.
Realize that all the family ties and friendships in your life are there for a purpose, but they aren’t necessarily meant to last forever. It takes a certain grace to recognize when the time for a disabling relationship is over and, even if the other person doesn’t recognize it, to bow out and move on. You’ll then have the time and energy to concentrate on loving, supportive relationships.