Crying a lot is harder than laughing a lot (#59). Crying is discouraged in our culture even more than laughing is. But it’s such a powerful tool for clearing out the stuff that gets in the way of our inner growth.
It’s possible you need to cry and you’re not aware of it. Or maybe you live much of your life on the brink of tears.
In either case, arrange your schedule so you can cry every day for the next week, or however long is necessary. You can do it in the same thirty days you’re doing the laughing, or you can do it in the subsequent thirty days. Now that you’ve simplified your life, you’ll have the time.
Allow thirty minutes for the crying; longer if possible. You’ll need at least that much time to get the floodgates open. If you get a good cry going, don’t stop just because the time is up. Cry to the end of the cry.
As with the laughing, you may need to fake it to begin with. The more drama you can put into it to start with, the better. You may go for several days with only fake tears. That’s all right. Eventually real tears will come. Keep at it until they do.
My friend Cindy recently went through a difficult divorce. She is a strong, mother-earth kind of woman who has spent many years letting everyone else cry on her shoulder. But when it came time for her own tears, she had difficulty in letting them flow.
Finally she started renting tearjerker videos. She would sit in front of the VCR with a box of Kleenex, crying her eyes out, initially over some plot line on celluloid, and eventually over her own life. It took her a couple of months to get through all her tears, but it allowed her to grieve and then released her so she could get on with her life.
We’ve been told for so long that it’s not okay to cry. But it is okay. In fact, it’s desirable. More than that, it’s vital. The energy we’ve been using to hold back the tears is getting in the way of being who we truly are. Let that energy go, and cry. It’ll free you.