Love is the most important thing in our lives. All the great masters, saints, and sages agree on this. But it seems to me that a lot has been lost in the translation of this teaching. It would appear that many of us have forgotten how to love, or never learned how to love to begin with.
This has always been a difficult issue for me, and I don’t claim any expertise here. I’ve done well—or have been fortunate—when it comes to specific loves, such as my husband and family and friends. But something has always been missing for me when it comes to loving mankind, or the world at large. I believe I’ve learned one thing about love in recent years, which I’ll share with you. For the rest, I’ll refer you to the masters.
I’ve learned that in order to love others, we have to love ourselves first. How do we do that? By allowing ourselves to do things we love to do.
Like many of us, I grew up in a culture that fostered a belief that the most important thing was to get trained for a career so I could support myself and my family. It didn’t matter whether or not I liked what I was doing, as long as it paid the mortgage. As a result, I spent years in jobs that drained my energy and starved my spirit.
One of the steps I took to simplify my life was to get to a point where I could do the things I love to do, not only in terms of my career, but in all areas of my life.
Obviously, this is a gradual process, and a lot of the steps I’ve outlined in this book helped, such as getting counseling, spending time in nature, and figuring out what I didn’t want, among many others. But having at last found a career in writing and a fulfilling pastime in painting—both of which I love to do—has made all the difference in my ability to share love with the world at large, and to really feel that love for others.
If you’re feeling weak in the love department, the first place to start is with yourself. Spend some time figuring out the things you love to do, and the things that make you happy. Then start doing them. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. It may take you a while, and you might need to get some guidance along the way. Fortunately, there is a wealth of information available today to help you do this.
Many times we’ve been taught that doing what we love to do is selfish or narcissistic. But, in fact, before we can give love to others, we have to fill ourselves with love first.