SULIS WATCHED AVA chalk the mandala on the floor of the great hall. They’d switched their morning trainings to the main hall at Clay’s directive. Ava was learning to expand her chalk drawings from the size of a desk slate to the size of a whole room. Clay was showing her how to also draw with her energy, and she would eventually be creating the entire mandala with just different lines of energy as well as chalk. The lines of energy would stay steady, even as the chalk smeared out of existence.
Ava’s face was serious, her eyes almost blank, like she was in a trance. It didn’t seem to matter to her if it took just a few moments or many candlemarks to create the mandalas. Her focus was incredible, along with her ability to tough out the pain her knees must be in crawling along a stone floor the way she did.
She finished connecting the last line, stood, and backed away. Sulis clapped her on the back.
“Incredible,” she complimented the girl. “This one is so detailed. I don’t know how you remember everything.”
Ava jumped slightly, her eyes coming back to life. She looked at the mandala, then around herself like she didn’t know where she was. She shot Sulis a puzzled look.
“I made that?” she asked, her voice uneasy.
Sulis frowned, worried about Ava’s disorientation. It happened often when she was focused on something—studying, drawing, combat lessons. Sulis had asked Anchee about it, and he’d said it was a mark of true focus, like it was a good thing. Sulis wasn’t so sure.
“Yep,” Sulis said heartily, trying to banish her unease. “And now I have to dance between all those lines. You’ve made it hard for Anchee and me.”
Ava looked back at the mandala and smiled slightly, a vague, troubled smile, with her eyebrows puckered like she was trying to remember something.
“It is correct,” Clay said, coming over to them after inspecting the whole drawing. “Excellent job, little one.”
Ava brightened with his words, and her grin became genuine. She thrived under the approval of the masters in Kabandha, and the masters were generous with their praise. Sulis didn’t think Ava’d had much praise since her father died and she became Forsaken.
“Your turn, Anchee, Sulis,” Clay directed them into the center of the chalk.
They had to be aware, not just of each other but of the lines around them, stepping carefully not to smear them or knock into each other. Mostly they were unsuccessful, but they were improving.
“Joisha, watch them carefully.” Clay directed Sulis’s grandmother. It sounded odd, hearing her first name. Clay was the only one who had ever used it around Sulis. “It is not time for you to join, but you also must see the lines and notice where the energy rises and how the pattern focuses in a different way.”
Grandmother nodded, stepping forward. Grandmother had stopped criticizing Sulis, and even managed to control her grimaces to when she thought Sulis wasn’t watching. But Sulis felt a barrier between them, a reserved distance they’d never had before. It was as though her grandmother had stepped back and now saw Sulis as a stranger. It hurt Sulis and made her wonder just how bad things had been between her mother and grandmother. She loved them both, but felt like she had to choose between loving her dead mother or having the respect of her living grandmother.
“Sulis, attend!” Clay snapped, and Sulis came back to attention. The problems between her and her grandmother distracted her. She didn’t want anyone to blame Ashraf, who was standing back with Palou and the two feli, guarding the group.
Sulis brought her attention to Anchee as they took the first form. He nodded, and they began, trying to pace off each other. The form for this mandala was more of a slow martial art, with shifting hips and arm movements and small steps around the lines of chalk. Sulis wondered what it would be like stepping over energy lines instead of chalk lines, and wondered if all that energy would just get mixed up together.
She stumbled over a line, smearing it, and cursed under her breath. Focus on the movements, she thought to herself. It was so easy to get distracted by something once she’d done the dances a few times. Sulis let go of thought and focused only on the rhythm and flow of her motions.
When they finished, Clay nodded. They seated themselves on bolsters for his critiques.
“You lost focus and stumbled,” he told Sulis, who nodded. “Then you regained it but did not stay in flow with Anchee. Practice making those movements smoother on your own, and have Ashraf do a steady count so each movement lasts as long as the next. You were rushing Cloud Hands and slowing Wild Horse too much.”
Sulis nodded again, and only half listened as he critiqued Anchee. Her mind was again worrying about the energy lines.
“You have questions,” Clay stated, looking at her face.
Sulis nodded. “I don’t understand how Ava will be ‘chalking’ with energy,” she said, “and how it will interact with our own energy. To be honest, I don’t understand where any of this energy we are supposedly stirring up is coming from.”
Clay nodded and placed the fingertips of his right hand together with his left in a tent shape. This was a mudra, or hand gesture to help with memory and focusing of the thoughts, and he often steepled his fingers like that when teaching.
“I could say that energy is all around us,” he said. “But that, while true, is incomplete. The five of us are able to use the energy from other living things to create what some might consider ‘magic.’ In fact, we are just harnessing the energy around us to enhance what is possible for us to do.”
“So we’re parasites,” Sulis said flatly. “Sucking out the energy of other living things?”
“No,” Clay reassured her. “Most naturally found energy stays in the bodies of animals and plants, but some of that energy escapes in waves into the air and earth around us. That is what we are gathering. We don’t steal energy from others. Though I have read histories of people who could, through the ages.”
Ava broke in. “But what we’re dealing with seems like more than just that tiny bit of energy that people give off,” she said. “Now that I know how to see it, when I look, it’s all around. Like the whole air is saturated with it.”
Anchee grinned. “That’s because while each living thing only gives off a little, the earth is teeming with creatures too tiny for us to see. Every blade of grass and every leaf of a tree exudes a little energy. By itself it is nothing, but the combined energy of all those creatures fills the air around us.”
Ashraf had been listening and stepped forward to study the now-smeared mandala.
“You keep telling Sulis to mind the different-colored lines, and treat them differently. I thought energy was just colorless. How will Sulis be able to tell the difference?” he asked.
Sulis studied the lines herself. “No, wait,” she said, thinking back to her own dances. “I do sometimes feel different sorts of energy when I’m dancing. I can’t really see energy, but I feel it, and when I see Ava’s colors, I can place what energy goes with what line. What causes the different types of energy?” She looked questioningly at Clay.
“I can answer this,” Grandmother said, and Clay nodded for her to continue. “As humans, we have seven centers of energy in the body called chakras. In order to use the energy outside of ourselves, we actually must draw it into our own bodies, make it our own through our chakras, before we can give it out again. And each chakra is a different color.”
Grandmother looked around at them. “The poses of the dance are each grounded in the different chakras. Vrishni and prophets through the years have added to our collection of these patterns and movements. The Shuttles and Looms throughout history have tried what the Vrishni saw, experimented with how the energy felt in each flow and pattern, and perfected the movements to create the most energy.”
“So I’m not the only Loom ever?” Ava asked.
Anchee shook his head. “There are some Chosen born every generation, set to this purpose in readiness if the time becomes right for the joining to begin. Although, in the histories, I’ve never read of a Weaver being born and trained. Perhaps that is the key pawn that either indicates the time is right or sets in motion the sequences that create the right circumstances.”
Clay clapped his hands, startling them. “You will have more questions as time goes on. This is enough for you to process and experiment with. It smells like there will be flatcakes for midmeal.”
Food was his usual dismissal for the morning practices, and they smiled indulgently as he rose and walked toward the eating hall without a backward glance.
Grandmother glanced over at Sulis, nodded reservedly, and walked off with Palou. Sulis felt pained at the coldness in that nod.
“I feel like I’ve lost both my mothers,” she muttered to Ava.
She was startled to hear a sniff, and looked to find a tear sliding down Ava’s cheek.
“Everyone leaves,” Ava said. “And then you’re all alone in the dark.”
Sulis was shocked by this abrupt mood swing and put an arm around her. “No, it’s okay, really Ava,” she reassured her. “I’m just being overly dramatic. You know me, I like to make a mountain out of an anthill.”
Ava pushed her away, scowling. “I’m going to midmeal. Are you coming?”
Sulis looked at her, worried. “No, I have to talk with Grandmother,” she said.
“Fine. See you later,” Ava said over her shoulder as she walked away.
“Did you hear all that?” Sulis asked, turning to Ashraf behind her when Ava was out of earshot. He shook his head. “Maybe I’m just getting paranoid. She’s been having mood swings recently.”
She glanced over to where Grandmother and her Guardian Palou were just starting to exit the building and hurried to catch up with them, Ashraf following in her wake.
“Grandmother,” Sulis called after the pair, and they stopped, blinking in the bright sunshine.
She came abreast of them and held out her hands to Palou. “Hi, Palou.”
He grinned and clasped her hands. “You look like you’re dying to talk to Joisha.”
“You know I adore you, too,” Sulis said.
“Yes, but you look like you need some good woman-to-woman time. Ashraf and I will go ahead and leave you two to it.”
Sulis stood awkwardly beside her grandmother as the men walked away. “Did Grandfather know about Palou?” Sulis asked softly. Sulis was trying to put two and two together. Her grandmother and grandfather were known for their animosity toward each other. Sulis knew now through her own training that it was impossible to actually change a person into a potted plant, but a person could certainly treat someone like he was vegetation. Her grandfather had been all fire, like Sulis herself—the opposite of Grandmother. Sulis wondered if adding Palou to that volatile mix didn’t help.
“Yes, and unfortunately, so did your mother,” Grandmother said. “Don’t get me wrong—I was faithful to your grandfather the entire time he was alive. But neither he nor your mother ever forgave me for giving my heart to another.”
Sulis looked at her. “I don’t know how you did it,” she said. “Why didn’t you leave him when you realized what you and Palou could have? You and Grandfather weren’t happy, and from what I heard, he wasn’t very likeable.”
Her grandmother met her eyes. “That was partly my fault. We had already married when I went to a deeper training and found Palou. My heart was never again your grandfather’s, and on some deeper level, he knew it. But I could not act as community leader, leave him, and still maintain my place. And I knew my calling was to be the spiritual leader at Shpeth. As Clay aptly pointed out, I am no teacher.”
“But why didn’t Palou move to Shpeth or you to here when Grandfather died?” Sulis asked. “You could have so much more time together.”
“My place is still in Shpeth. I imagined that your mother would replace me in time as leader, and I would come here, but that was not to be. And Palou is a scholar, a teacher here at Kabandha. He would be miserable elsewhere.”
Sulis nodded. “Duty pulls apart as much as it brings together.”
Grandmother looked at her a moment, then smiled. “You do understand, don’t you? I see you as a mix of your grandfather and mother: wild, out of control, and irresponsible. But you have enough discipline to follow a set course, unlike your mother, who was always darting from one thing to the next. Master Clay forced me to see that, and I am sorry I underestimated you.”
“You taught me that,” Sulis told her earnestly. “I learned what duty was from you. And I certainly saw from my mother how love can destroy everything. She had a duty and ran away from it for my father. In the end, she couldn’t stay away from either her duty or her love, and it killed her.”
Grandmother frowned slightly, turning to fully face Sulis. “I’m not sure that’s the lesson you should learn from your mother’s death. Love is good energy, the best energy. Without it, you and your brother would never have been born, and the changes that have brought us here would not be in place. Your mother was heedless, often thoughtless. She flirted constantly, refused to prepare, refused to believe others who warned her about danger. I loved her dearly, but she felt that the One would always rescue her from the dangers she put herself in. But the One requires us to think for ourselves, to rescue ourselves.”
Sulis nodded, thinking back to what she remembered and heard about her mother. Most of the memories were of crazy, silly ideas her mother would pull out of the air for them to do.
“I hate to think you are hesitating in bonding with Ashraf because of me and because of your memories of your mother,” Grandmother continued. “It was wrong of me to bind you that way. These months that Palou and I have here have been a great blessing, one we never expected to have. My abilities expand every moment spent with him. I want you to have the same.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about Ashraf,” Sulis admitted. “I’m attracted, and I like being around him. I like that he likes me so much. But I don’t like feeling we’re forced to be together.”
Grandmother laughed. “A stubborn Hasifel woman to the core,” she said. She put a hand on Sulis’s arm. “But what will it hurt if you give in? That’s all I’m saying. Stop resisting, stop rejecting, and see what happens.”
Sulis reached out and drew her grandmother close, and they hugged. “Okay,” Sulis muttered in her shoulder. “I’ll give it a try.”
They avoided each other’s moist eyes as they pulled apart and walked side by side to the eating hall.
Ashraf and Palou were sitting together, and they sported identical grins when the two women sat across from them.
“Work things out?” Palou asked.
“Yes,” Grandmother said, a touch of acid in her voice. “Just like you’ve been nagging me to.”
Sulis hid her smile, liking Palou a little more since his grin didn’t fade at all.
“Where’s your feli?” Sulis asked, glancing around. Djinn was missing as well though she could feel his drowsiness. He was probably napping on her bed.
Palou smiled. “I don’t know. She was restless today, so I expect the kits are near to being born. I can’t feel her the way you do Djinn, but I’m sure she’s searching for a suitable nesting site.”
Sulis glanced over at Ava, who was staring down at her plate, her shoulders drooping.
“Are you giving away the kits?” Ava asked. She didn’t sound hopeful.
Palou shook his head. “In my experience, the kits tend to be wild. They’ll stay with their mother about a year and a half but then return to the desert and either become solitary or join a group there. Sorry, Ava. Maybe we can get a small cat for you.”
“Not a Frubian Flamepoint,” Sulis said with a laugh, trying to cheer Ava up. “Kadar is plagued with one in Illian, and it’s more trouble than company.”
Ava gave her a wistful smile. “Anything would be nice. I’d even settle for a puppy if I could get any to come to me. At least I’ll get to see the feli kittens grow up if they’re born around here. I bet they’re adorable.”
Sulis let Ashraf take her hand as they walked back to the house, Ava trailing behind. When they got to the front garden, Ashraf lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. She blushed but didn’t pull away, and he smiled, almost shyly.
“I have training now,” he said. “But maybe we can take a walk later, around dusk?”
Sulis nodded, and he dropped her hand. She stood and watched him as he walked toward the training yard, her heart beating loudly.
“You shouldn’t give your heart to him,” Ava said. Her face was sad. “He could leave and never come back. He’s training as a warrior. Someone will kill him, and you’ll be all alone. You can’t trust anyone to stay.”
Before Sulis could reach out to her, Ava bolted into the house, wiping tears. Sulis walked after her, saddened by the girl’s distress.
“Oh!” Sulis heard Ava exclaim from their bedroom, and Sulis ran up the stairs.
She halted at the sight of a spotted feli in the middle of her rumpled, tangled bed. The covers were tangled, rearranged in a circular nest and little eeping sounds came from the middle of the nest. The mother was curled up and had her body blocking any view of the babies she was hiding. Djinn sat beside the bed, tail waving gently as he washed the top of the mother’s head. Both seemed extremely proud of themselves.
“Not in the middle of my bed,” Sulis wailed, and Ava collapsed on her own bed, laughing, all girl again.
Anchee ducked his head in her room and grinned at the rumpled bed and feli. “Looks like you’ll be sleeping on a bedroll until mama decides to move her kits,” he said with a laugh. He approached the bed. “I wonder how many there are.”
The mother and Djinn both snarled as he got within viewing range, and he stepped back quickly. “I don’t think we’ll be able to tell until she’s ready to show us,” he said. “You ladies might want to move to another room until she’s feeling less protective.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind me,” Ava said, watching the now-purring feli. “And Djinn trusts me. I’ll stay. Maybe that’ll get the kittens used to people.”
“I’ll take the bedroll in the next room, where Grandmother was staying,” Sulis said, shaking her head. Grandmother had moved to another guesthouse with Palou after the Guardian started training with them. Sulis suspected it was because she had more privacy to spend time with Palou without her granddaughter commenting.
Sulis beat out her old bedroll and transferred her meager belongings to the new bedroom, mourning the loss of the comfortable down pad the kittens were now nesting in. She remembered Ava’s sadness earlier and glanced back into the bedroom. Ava was now contentedly asleep in her bed, an arm around Djinn snuggled beside her. Sulis shrugged. Maybe it was just tiredness making Ava act a bit odd. They’d been pushing themselves hard the past few months to learn everything. The girl just needed to rest. Sulis grinned as mewing came from her bed. If anything could cheer Ava up, it would be a bed full of fluffy feli kittens.