SULIS SURREPTITIOUSLY WATCHED Ava at last meal as she chatted with Clay about energies and colors. Ava’s mood swings were getting worse, and she seemed to be dwelling more and more on her mother and the family she’d left behind. Sulis mentioned it to Grandmother, and she’d just shrugged and said something about young women growing up. Sulis knew that she’d been moody in her teens, but this seemed more extreme. Ava’s work wasn’t affected yet, but in their free time, Sulis was often either comforting Ava or being pushed away by her.
“Sulis,” Anchee said, his voice impatient. Sulis looked over at him and realized he’d been trying to talk to her.
“Sorry,” Sulis said “Woolgathering.”
“You’ve been doing that quite a bit,” Anchee said. “You had no focus practicing the slow form today. I would like you to spend the evening in meditation. Try to concentrate.”
Sulis bowed her head and nodded. Clay was the Chosen’s main teacher, but he usually put Anchee in charge of teaching Sulis the dances while he worked with Ava. Anchee was a patient teacher. If she’d been frustrating him, she needed to train harder. She put her tray away and reluctantly walked to the main hall for one last meditation. It was too distracting back at the house, between the noisy baby feli and her worries about Ava. Ava and Anchee preferred the woods for meditation. But Sulis liked the big, sacred spaces and often meditated beside the scuffed mandala they’d created in the morning, letting her mind trace the lines of chalk and energy until it quieted.
This time her mind refused to settle, so she let it wander through her interactions with Ava, trying to see a pattern, or at least trying to see if she was overreacting. She admired the scuffed patterns on the floor, the art and energy work that Ava excelled at. She was also thrilled to see that fewer of the lines were scuffed. She and Master Anchee were doing better about staying in the pattern with their steps. She still didn’t understand how they would draw patterns and dance if they were being attacked by the deities, but Clay had told her to focus just on the dances. She closed her eyes to center herself.
Soft footsteps disturbed her focus. Even with her eyes closed, she knew it was Ashraf. Sulis wondered at that, keeping her eyes closed.
Was it the footstep itself? she wondered. No, that wasn’t it. He stepped lightly for such a big, tall man. Then what? Sulis allowed her mind to quiet, and suddenly she felt it. An energy line, like the one she had with her twin. An energy line that lay under her thoughts, connecting with her very essence. He really was a part of her, in an energetic sense, the way Kadar was. Sulis looked beneath the surface of the mind, below thoughts and habits and realized there were other connections. Ava, Grandmother, Anchee, and Palou were thicker links, her twin’s thicker yet, though none as strong as Ashraf’s. But there were others as well, thin lines, as though the people they led to were a great distance away from her. A couple felt familiar, but unrecognizable at this distance. Maybe they were other Guardians and the Weaver? All the cords were bound together, intertwined and linked through service to the One. Sulis wondered if she and the people she was linked to had always been bound in some way. Had the people serving the One been destined to serve from birth, or did they make a choice somewhere in their lives that put them on this course and bound them all together?
Sulis shook her head. She mentally examined the bond between her and Ashraf, studying it. Then she reached out mentally and plucked it, curious what would happen.
Ashraf gasped and Sulis opened her eyes. He was standing by the wall in front of her and had his hands over his heart. He stared at her, wide-eyed. She grinned and rose from her cross-legged position.
“You felt that?” she asked, walking over to him.
“You did that? What was it?” Ashraf asked. “It felt like someone was touching my heart from the inside.”
“So, not a good sensation?” Sulis asked. “Can you do it to me? Is that something you can do as Guardian? I want to know how it feels.”
“It wasn’t bad, just a little scary.”
His eyes crossed as though he was trying to see inside his own brain, and Sulis sputtered with laughter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Trying to figure out where that was so I can do it to you,” he said, frowning a little in frustration.
“Here,” Sulis said, grabbing his hands. She made him sit on a bolster on the floor. “Close your eyes.”
She closed her eyes as well, found the line of energy to him. This time, instead of plucking, she thought of something happy and sent that energy down their link.
“Oh,” Ashraf breathed. “What is that?”
“Our link,” Sulis said. “Guardian to Shuttle, right? I knew you were standing there, without opening my eyes. Nice, isn’t it?”
“More than nice,” Ashraf said softly, his voice husky. His hands tensed in hers, focusing. Sulis felt a rush of warmth, of loving heat. Suddenly, her hands were sensitive to his, a sensual pleasure of touch. She became aware of his body heat, as he sat so close, too close. She realized that she was sending that warmth back to him, but didn’t close the link. Heat washed between the two of them, and Sulis flushed everywhere. That warmth turned to desire, and his desire washed back at her, doubling the sensation.
She opened her eyes, the feeling suddenly too intense to bear. His brown eyes were warm on hers as she tried to untangle her thoughts and say something clever to give them both some needed distance.
He didn’t allow her that time. He untangled one hand from hers and reached to the back of her neck in a caress that pulled her close to him, her face next to his.
Ashraf kissed her, a long, slow caress of lips and tongue. The link between them was wide open. She felt his heat and longing and knew she was projecting her own. There was no barrier between them except clothing, and that didn’t get in the way for long. Every sensation was doubled by their connection.
Sulis came back to herself first, panting as she still held Ashraf in her arms. She slammed a block on the link between them, still getting waves of pleasure from him that could drive her to try and rouse and take him again. Neither of them was fully undressed, but they also weren’t in any state to be lying in a public hall where anyone could come upon them.
She pulled her robe around her, sitting up and trying to tame her hair. Ashraf still lay on his back, gasping, mostly undressed. She nudged him.
“Someone might come,” she hissed. Her voice was hoarse, which told her their lovemaking had been very vocal. She remembered yelling, but she wasn’t certain if it was her or him. Or both.
“Besides me, again?” Ashraf said, his voice also a little rough. A wild laugh burst from him. He shook himself as he sat up and redressed. He gazed ruefully at a long tear in the hem of his robe.
“Sorry,” Sulis said, chagrined at the damage to his silks. She looked around. “I can’t believe we had sex in the sacred hall. What if someone had come in? They’d toss us out for sacrilege.”
“At least it wasn’t in the Temple,” Ashraf answered. “And we were told we needed to bond.”
They stared at each other, then she snickered. He snickered as well, and they burst into laughter, giddy in the aftermath.
“I’ve never felt anything like that,” Ashraf confessed. He reached out and ran a hand down her cheek.
She grabbed his hand and kissed it, then deliberately placed it back by his side. “Don’t start that again,” she said. She stood and pulled him up with her. She tried to straighten his rumpled robe, pat down his hair. “We need to get back to the house before they send someone to get us.”
As they started back through the hall, Sulis told him softly, “I’ve never felt anything like that before either. It was incredible.”
A grin blossomed on his face, and he took her hand as they walked through the courtyard.
Sulis was hoping they could slip unnoticed into the house, but Clay and the rest of the Chosen were in the front garden as they approached.
Anchee frowned as they approached. “Where were you two . . . oh.” He trailed off and looked away, and Sulis thought she saw a blush on his cheeks. Her cheeks turned red as well, as Palou grinned, and her grandmother shook her head.
Clay clapped his hands in delight. “You found the Guardian bond!” he exclaimed. “I can feel the energy from here. I will need to show Ashraf how to block, or you two will make everyone who is energy sensitive very uncomfortable!”
“You could have warned me about the whole double-sensation thing,” Sulis accused her grandmother, who looked away uncomfortably.
“Would you have believed me?” she asked. “That’s something you have to experience for yourself.”
“We may be able to start full energy work as soon as I return,” Clay said, rubbing his hands together.
“Return? You’re leaving again?” Sulis asked.
Clay nodded. “I must go away for a short time. That’s why I was meeting with everyone. Anchee was supposed to fetch you.”
“I thought you were in the main hall, meditating,” Anchee said, almost accusingly.
Sulis coughed and looked away.
“We were in the main hall,” Ashraf said in a small voice.
Clay lost it, laughing so hard that Anchee had to slap him on the back as Grandmother’s eyebrows climbed into her forehead. Then she chuckled as well and nudged Palou, who was grinning knowingly at her.
Sulis worried suddenly how Ava might be taking this and looked around. “Where’s Ava?” she asked. “Is she still up with the kits?”
The laughter died suddenly, as the other Chosen stared at each other.
“When Clay said he wanted a meeting, she said she’d run and get you. She was going to stop for a snack at the kitchens first,” Anchee said, his voice serious.
“She never came to the hall,” Sulis said, chagrined. “Are you sure she didn’t return here? Maybe she’s in her room.”
“I’ll check; she could have slipped in through the back door,” Anchee said, darting into the house. After a few tense moments he returned, out of breath. “She’s not there. She’s not in any of the rooms.”
Sulis looked around wildly, wondering where the girl could have gone.
Clay had his eyes closed. “I can’t feel her,” he said distantly. He opened his eyes and looked around at their worried faces. “Has she run off like this before, while I was gone?”
Sulis shook her head “No, never. But she’s been really sad about her family the past couple of weeks and very moody.”
Ashraf added, “Her teacher asked me to work with her in hand-to-hand fighting today. Ava has been working with the women warriors, but her teacher wanted her to get used to working against men, to get over her fear. She was fine with me but flinched every time any other male warriors went by.”
Clay frowned. “She hasn’t been shy with me. But her past encounters with adult men have been cruel.”
Sulis glanced at her grandmother. “Didn’t you block her memories of the attack in Illian?”
“The healer and I put blocks in her mind when she first came to the desert. The trauma was so great, both to her body and mind, that it was the only way the healer could see her being a healthy child and developing into a healthy woman,” Grandmother said. “But they should wear off slowly, so the memories stay distant and are dealt with gradually.”
“I hadn’t realized she had blocks,” Clay said, sounding chagrined. “The kind of energy Ava is raising in a week, most children wouldn’t encounter over a decade. Any blocks would disappear quickly, eroded by the energy she’s working with.”
Grandmother looked stricken. “If the blocks are eroding, the memories would cascade back erratically. She could be hallucinating or have a blackout.”
Clay closed his eyes, trying to sense Ava again. “I don’t think she is harmed or unconscious,” he said. He looked around at them “I’ve noticed she can close her energy off from the rest of the world when she wants to. We will have to physically search for her. She can’t have gone far.”
Sulis focused within herself, at those links she’d found earlier. She noticed Ashraf’s first, strong from their time together. But Clay was right, there was blankness where she’d felt Ava before.
“Let’s spread out,” Anchee said. “Joisha, take the women’s dorms and baths. Ashraf, search the men’s dormitories, baths, and training hall. Sulis, search the main hall. Clay and I will search the other houses.”
Clay held up a hand. “Don’t tell anyone what you are searching for. Make it seem like a training exercise. We can seek additional help if we don’t find her. The community would not understand Ava’s fragility. They need her to be strong.”
They nodded, and Sulis mentally nudged Djinn from his nap on her bed. He raced ahead of her as they ran to the main hall. He explored in every corner, stopping every once in a while to swivel his ears, listening. They searched every inch of the hall but found no sign of Ava.
Sulis searched the grounds and realized that dusk was beginning to set in, so she headed back to the house. The others were there, and Clay shook his head at her hopeful gaze.
“She must have gone into the forest,” Anchee said, shaking his head.
“But she was afraid of being alone in the woods at night,” Sulis told him. “Why would she go in there?”
Palou frowned. “If we want to find her, we need to get the hunting dogs to catch her scent,” he said, glancing at Clay. “But we’ll have to get the elders involved, and everyone will know she’s gone.”
Clay became silent a moment, as though turning inward for guidance. He shook his head. “I am getting nothing,” he said. “We need to find her before one of the large snakes or other predators do. Tell the elders that she became upset and frightened during some energy work, and we think she’s hiding.”
Soon there were people everywhere, torches lit in the deepening night. Dogs barked, and Djinn made himself scarce, not liking the restless crowd. Sulis had to fetch an item of Ava’s clothing from the room for the dogs to scent.
Master Tull divided the warriors with the dogs into two packs.
“Start at the main hall,” she ordered one group. “See if you can get the dogs to catch her scent. I’m still not convinced that she hasn’t found a small place to hide in the buildings.” She turned to the other. “Scout around the edges of the forest. If she did go in, you should be able to find an entry point.”
Sulis fretted and paced. The dogs by the main hall caught a scent but lost it in the courtyard where so many people had been. Finally, the dogs at the perimeter found where Ava had gone into the forest.
Master Tull shook her head and ordered a group of warriors to guard the rest of the Chosen.
“I want to help,” Ashraf protested. “I can take care of myself. I am a warrior.”
Tull shook her head. “Ava is too responsible to just take off like this; I don’t care how upset she was. I think someone’s taken her, and I want to make sure there isn’t an attack planned on you as well if her kidnapping was a distraction.”
“Who would attack the Chosen?” Sulis scoffed.
Tull sent the warriors into the forest and turned back to them. “More people than you think. We have deity loyalists, even here in the South. They have an affinity for a particular deity and have been seduced by them,” she said. “There are also people who think the prophecy is fake. They think we are blasphemous and trying to destroy the harmony between the One and the deities for some evil purpose.” She snorted and shook her head. “We will get Ava back safely and protect you at the same time.”
It was a long night. Most of the Chosen eventually settled into the front yard to meditate, but Sulis was distracted and went through parts of her dance forms to quiet her mind. She carefully kept the link between her and Ashraf blocked, not wanting it to distract her from finding Ava.
Late into the night, almost morning, Sulis’s body wore out. She could occasionally hear the baying of hounds in the distance, but no word on Ava. She settled beside her grandmother and looked around at the tired, worried faces. Clay was the only one who looked peacefully in a trance. Anchee wore a frown of concentration, and Grandmother just looked weary.
Sulis closed her eyes, wondering if she could just nap out here.
“There’s no reason you all can’t go in and sleep,” Master Tull said, and she jerked and opened her eyes. She must have drifted off. The torches were burning down.
“I’ll have someone wake you if we find something. The dogs have found her trail a couple of times, but they keep losing it in the tangle of brush. There isn’t a sign of a second person. Hopefully, all the movement and barking will have scared off any major predators in the area, keeping her safe if she has hidden herself somewhere. Go, sleep.”
Clay stayed still, and Grandmother just leaned against Palou, but Sulis shook herself, and Anchee stood. Sulis followed Anchee up the stairs, and he turned into his room and shut the door. Sulis was so tired she turned into her old bedroom by mistake.
The mother feli growled, and Sulis realized with a start the feli was in Ava’s bed. She glanced over and realized the kits were still in her old bed. But the mother feli was lying in front of a still shape. Sulis exclaimed and fumbled around for the quickstrike, lighting the oil lamp on the holder in the wall.
She ignored the mother cat’s growl as she held the lamp closer to the bed. Golden hair poked out from a form that was curled into a ball, robe twisted around her.
“Ava!” Sulis exclaimed. She reached to touch the girl and the feli lashed out. Sulis yelled and snatched her arm back, but the feli caught the edge of her sleeve, tearing it to ribbons. Sulis examined the scores on her arm.
“Sulis? What’s going on?” Anchee’s tired voice asked from the doorway.
Sulis gestured. “Ava’s here. Tell everyone. The blasted feli won’t let me touch her.”
Anchee moved to stand beside Sulis, and the feli hissed.
“She slashed at me,” Sulis said, indicating her arm.
“Ava wasn’t here earlier when I looked,” Anchee said, his voice baffled.
“She wasn’t here when I got her shirt for the dogs to scent by. Her robe looks dirty,” Sulis said. “I’m calling Djinn. Maybe he can get the mother feli to let us touch her.”
“I’ll tell the others,” Anchee said, and darted out of the room. Sulis could hear shouting outside and the sound of orders. Then footsteps up the stairs.
“Stay out in the hall,” Sulis called. “I don’t want to upset the feli more.”
Palou wormed his way through the bodies in the hall and slipped in beside Sulis. The feli started purring when she saw him, and he spoke to her in a soothing voice.
“There, that’s a good mama,” he said, putting a hand on her head. “We’ve got this now, just go back to your little ones.”
It took a couple of minutes, and Sulis had to approach the bed with the kits to get the mother to stop protecting Ava and go back to protecting her own brood.
The light was brightening in the window as Sulis and Palou sat on the bed beside Ava. Djinn nudged Sulis in the side, and she glared down at him.
“Where were you when I needed you?” she asked accusingly.
“He didn’t want to get between you and his mate,” Palou said mildly. He shook Ava’s shoulder, and she woke. Sulis helped her sit up.
There were leaves and twigs in her hair, and her cheeks bore long scratches from briars.
“She’s definitely been out in the woods,” Sulis murmured.
Master Tull entered the room, glanced at them, and knelt by the bed.
“Ava, where were you, child?” she asked. “We’ve been looking all night.” She glanced at Palou. “Healer Rana is on her way. How did she get back in here without anyone seeing her?”
Palou spread his hands and shook his head.
“I’m fine,” Ava said. Sulis was surprised by the hardness in her voice. “I didn’t want to be seen, so I wasn’t.”
Healer Rana entered the room and paused as Ava continued.
“I had to get away,” Ava said. “I felt the earth, and it guided me.”
Master Tull looked over at the healer, who raised her eyebrows.
“She is a Loom,” Rana said cryptically.
“What does that mean?” Sulis asked.
“Looms have strong earth energy,” Rana said. “Our histories speak of their being able to blend with their surroundings in need, similar to the sand magic the Bedu tribes have.
Tull went to the doorway.
“Everyone clear out, except the Chosen. Emergency is over. Tion, gather your warriors and get some breakfast before you retire. The healer can handle it now.”
Djinn bumped Ava’s hand, and her face relaxed. She patted him on the head. She looked around at the room, and her face became tense.
“Ava, why did you run away from us?” Sulis asked.
“I saw them,” Ava said. “I saw the men, from Illian.”
“Men from Illian,” Master Tull said, puzzled. She looked over at Anchee. “There are no men from Illian in our training ground.”
“They were here,” Ava wailed. “there were two of them, like before. I couldn’t let them grab me. I can’t survive that again.”
“They’re gone now,” Sulis said, holding her. “We’re here. We’ll protect you.” Ava buried her head in Sulis’s shoulder, and Sulis pulled some twigs out of Ava’s hair, combing it with her fingers as she tried to comfort the sobbing girl. She saw that Rana was in a whispered conference with Anchee.
The healer nodded once at something he said, then came over and knelt beside the bed. She gently turned Ava’s chin forward and peered in her eyes.
“Ava, have you seen those men here before?” she asked. Ava shook her head. “Do you remember how you came back here?”
“I was lost,” Ava whispered. “But I could feel where everyone was, and I came back. But it was hard because I had to hide from the men, too, and I just wanted to sleep. I’m so tired.”
“I don’t think she’s concussed, but I’d say she needs some rest,” Rana told Master Tull. “And to take a couple of days off from the intense schedule she’s been on.”
“Should she go to the healer’s hall?” Tull asked.
“Shouldn’t be necessary.” Rana shook her head. “Though I want her to come to the healers for lessons. We can help her if the bad memories are coming back.”
Master Tull frowned and looked like she was going to ask what the healer meant, but Rana shook her head. She stood, and she and Sulis helped Ava into a nightrobe and tucked her into the sheets.
Tull and Rana left Sulis alone with the girl, and Sulis could hear Anchee making whispered explanations. Sulis stared at Ava.
Ava’s face crumpled. “I want my mother,” she sobbed softly. “I want Farrah to come. I’m so alone.”
Sulis felt a nudge at her arm, and she moved aside as the mother feli dropped a kit onto Ava’s lap, then jumped in bed with her and curled around the girl. Sulis looked around to find that Djinn had already settled in with the other kits.
Ava hugged the kitten and curled around it, facing away from Sulis. Sulis realized as the two snuggled that it was the kitten without the spots, the one so much like Djinn.
Sulis sighed and hoped this was a sign that the One knew about Ava’s problems and was giving her what she needed. Because Sulis hadn’t the faintest idea what was going on in their youngest Chosen’s brain or how to fix it.