Chapter Nineteen

Madison

I sit at my white desk, staring out at the brightening sky. Maybe I can’t sleep because I’m still on Eldonian time, but I don’t think that’s it.

Eomma and Appa picked me up from the airport last night. They were so excited to see me, they’d hugged me and kissed my face and even brought a burger and milkshake from Ms. Sue’s for me to eat on the way home. They had asked all about my trip with the Falcons at their training camp, but I told them I was too tired to talk about it.

But I’m ready to talk now.

I look at the framed picture in the middle of my desk. It’s Daniel and me. He’s got his arm around me, and I’m holding a big bouquet of flowers. He had given them to me at one of my first plays.

Too bad he’ll never speak to me again.

I’ve never believed in myself. I didn’t believe I could go to acting school without my parent’s help. Didn’t believe I could make it as an actress unless I took the bribed audition. And I didn’t believe Daniel could ever care for me unless I was his fake girlfriend. If only I’d had the courage to trust myself, the way I wanted everyone else to trust me.

I stare into Daniel’s face, the goofy grin, the dark brown eyes. I won’t ever be able to make him smile like that again. But I can’t give up on myself.

The curtain does not close on Madison Myong.

I walk down the stairs and sit at the kitchen table. Appa’s already there, wearing his favorite plaid blue bathrobe. He turns the paper. “Good morning, pumpkin. I didn’t think we’d see you up and about so early.”

Eomma comes over with a plate of fruit. “Jet lag, probably. How are you feeling?”

I take a deep breath. This is it. This is where I stop lying. “You know, I feel pretty shitty.”

Appa flicks his eyes up to me.

“Can we talk?”

Appa puts down the paper, and Eomma sits beside him, her face crinkling with concern.

I take another deep breath to steady myself. “Okay, Eomma, Appa. There’s no PowerPoint presentation, no gimmicks this time. Just me. Your daughter.”

“I liked the PowerPoint presentation,” Appa says with a smile. “Very well put together.”

The first slide? I think. “So, I didn’t go to Eldonia to participate in a training camp with the Falcons.”

My parents are suddenly very still, like they’re waiting for me to say ‘Gotcha!’

“But we spoke with Coach Zabinski,” Appa says slowly.

“No, that was my friend Xander Bell,” I say. “He’s very convincing. But that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is, I went to Eldonia with Daniel Sacachelli and stayed with his family.” If I get into the fact that Daniel’s family are actually the monarchs of Eldonia, this whole conversation will derail, so I press on. “I shouldn’t have lied to you about it, but—”

“There are no ‘buts’ about it, young lady,” Eomma says, standing. Her whole face is one big frown. “You went to a foreign country with that motorcycle-driving hedonist?”

“I know,” I say and grab her arm, pulling her back to the table. “I know it was wrong and I shouldn’t have lied. And I’ll accept whatever punishment you choose. BUT—” I stare at her and then Appa. “I have learned something.”

I close my eyes and think about all the happiest moments in my life. Up on stage, the red curtain around me and flowers at my feet. Disguising Alice and watching her succeed at her dream. And the moment Daniel held me in his arms and told me that he loved me, really loved me.

I open my eyes. “This is my life. And sometimes I make terrible decisions. Like, brutally awful decisions. But—” I make sure my voice is steady. “—these are my decisions to make. I can’t live my life trying to make everyone else happy. I have to trust myself.”

My parents stare at me, unblinking. I continue. “To do that, I need to become someone I can trust. So. No more lies. I promise you, I will always be honest.” Then, out of my pocket, I pull the small slip of paper. The one with the details about the ‘100 Years Fallen’ audition. I put it on the table. “Daniel’s sister got me an audition in September. But I’m not going to go, because I didn’t get it in an honest way.” The thought makes my throat tighten. “I’m not the person I want to be yet, but I’m trying.”

Eomma narrows her eyes at me. I prepare to listen to her tirade about disrespect, but instead, she picks up the piece of paper. “I like this show.”

I blink a few times, waiting for her lecture. “Yeah, it’s okay, I guess.”

She puts the paper back down. “You know, your father and I do trust you. But we want to make sure you’re making the best decisions for your future.”

“Above all things,” I tell her, “above being rich and famous and wearing pretty dresses, or even wearing a crown, there’s just one thing I want.”

She raises her eyebrows.

“I want to be happy.”

Appa clears his throat and my heart hammers in my chest. “And going to this school you talked about…that would make you happy?”

“Yes,” I breathe. “Very much so.”

“And what if you fail?” Eomma says. “What if you did not get into this school? Or you went to audition after audition and could not land a part?”

“Eomma,” I say, “I think I’ve finally learned that I’m a lot tougher than I think I am. Even if my whole life is going up in flames, I’d brush the soot off my clothes and keep going.”

Appa rubs the bridge of his nose. “Madison,” he says, and I cringe, preparing for the worst.

“Yes, Appa?” I say quietly.

“That PowerPoint presentation you tried to show us a few weeks ago…why don’t you grab it?”

My jaw slowly drops. “Y-you want to see my presentation?”

“Yeah,” Appa says. “You’re a smart girl. And you obviously have a stubborn streak like your mother.”

She pushes his arm but smiles. “We’re not saying yes, Madison. We’re just saying…our ears, and our hearts, are more open than before.”

A tear rolls down my cheek. I leap up and wrap my arms around my parents. “Thank you. Thank you. I think you’ll really like the graphs!”

As they hug me back, I ask quietly, “Does this mean I’m not grounded for going to Eldonia with Daniel?”

“Oh,” Eomma says sweetly, “you have no idea.”