Our heavenly Father exhorts us to be men. He wants us to be like Him. When He calls us to “be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect,” He’s asking us to rise above our natural tendencies to impure eyes, fanciful minds, and wandering hearts. While understanding that His standard of purity doesn’t come naturally to us, He still calls us to rise up, by the power of His indwelling presence, to get the job done.
Before an important battle for the army he commanded, Joab said to the troops of Israel, “Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people” (2 Samuel 10:12, KJV). In short, he was saying, “We know God’s plan for us. Let’s rise up as men, and set our hearts and minds to get it done!”
In the realm of sexual integrity, God wants you to rise up and get it done.
—adapted from Every Man’s Battle
We have power through the Lord to overcome every level of sexual immorality, but if we don’t utilize that power, we’ll never break free of the habit.
—Every Man’s Battle
Dearest friends, when I [Paul] was there with you, you were always so careful to follow my instructions. And now that I am away you must be even more careful to do the good things that result from being saved, obeying God with deep reverence, shrinking back from all that might displease him. For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants.
PHILIPPIANS 2:12–13, TLB
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power.
COLOSSIANS 3:1, NLT
I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony heart of sin and give you a new, obedient heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so you will obey my laws and do whatever I command.
EZEKIEL 36:26–27, NLT
No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.
1 JOHN 3:9, NIV
When it comes down to it, God’s definition of real manhood is straightforward and simple: Hear His Word and follow it. That’s God’s only definition of manhood—a doer of the Word. And God’s definition of a sissy is someone who hears the Word of God and doesn’t do it.
—adapted from Every Young Man’s Battle
I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification.
ROMANS 6:19, NASB
Since everything around us is going to melt away, what holy, godly lives you should be living!
2 PETER 3:11, NLT
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.
ROMANS 6:12, NKJV
It’s like the situation facing Joshua and the people of Israel as they prepared to cross the Jordan River and possess the Promised Land. What did God say to Joshua?
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, [NIV, emphasis added]).
He’d given the Israelites all they needed. They merely had to cross the river.
Regarding sexual purity, God knows the provision He’s made for us. We aren’t short on power or authority, but what we lack is urgency. We must choose to be strong and courageous to walk into purity. In the millisecond it takes to make that choice, the Holy Spirit will start guiding you and walking through the struggle with you.
—Every Man’s Battle
Be strong and show yourself a man; keep the charge of the Lord your God, walk in His ways, keep His statutes, His commandments, His precepts, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may do wisely and prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn.
1 KINGS 2:2–3, AMP
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
1 CORINTHIANS 16:13, NIV
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
EPHESIANS 6:10, KJV
Abstain from all appearance of evil.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:22, KJV
God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion as the pagans do, in their ignorance of God and his ways.
1 THESSALONIANS 4:3–5, NLT
Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
1 PETER 2:11, NASB
But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and “Those who claim they belong to the Lord must turn away from all wickedness.”
2 TIMOTHY 2:19, NLT
Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
2 CORINTHIANS 7:1, NIV
Wash and make yourselves clean.
Take your evil deeds
out of my sight!
Stop doing wrong.
ISAIAH 1:16, NIV
But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.
2 TIMOTHY 2:20–21, NKJV
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts.
JAMES 4:8, NASB
From Fred Stoeker:
“I recall how the Holy Spirit whispered to me, ‘This practice can’t be tolerated anymore in your life. You are Christ’s now, and He loves you.’ The implication was that continued sexual activity before marriage would hurt my intimacy with Christ.
When you break His standards, the Lord doesn’t reject you, but you can’t be as close to Him.”
—Every Young Man’s Battle
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
ROMANS 12:2, NKJV
Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You are doing this already, and we encourage you to do so more and more.
1 THESSALONIANS 4:1, NLT
As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do.
1 PETER 1:14–15, NIV
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
EPHESIANS 4:1, NIV
You know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy.
1 THESSALONIANS 2:11–12, NLT
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
2 PETER 3:18, RSV
“But let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.
JEREMIAH 9:24, NASB
And if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
PROVERBS 2:3–5, NIV
Happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) is the man who finds skillful and godly Wisdom, and the man who gets understanding [drawing it forth from God’s Word and life’s experiences].
PROVERBS 3:13, AMP
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge.
2 PETER 1:5, NKJV
Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.
PROVERBS 4:5, KJV
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
JOHN 8:32, NLT
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
1 CORINTHIANS 6:18, NIV
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
2 TIMOTHY 2:22, NASB
Run from all these evil things and work instead at what is right and good, learning to trust him and love others, and to be patient and gentle. Fight on for God. Hold tightly to the eternal life which God has given you, and which you have confessed with such a ringing confession before many witnesses.
1 TIMOTHY 6:11–12, TLB
When given the choice between meeting God’s standard and being accepted by Him, or ignoring those standards and being accepted by our peers, too many of us choose our peers. We don’t really have the faith that God exists or believe that He’ll reward those who earnestly seek Him.
—adapted from Every Young Man’s Battle
For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.
Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them.
EPHESIANS 5:8–11, NLT
But let us who live in the light think clearly, protected by the body armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:8, NLT
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
ROMANS 13:12–14, NIV
For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night. So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be sober.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:5–6, NLT
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
EPHESIANS 4:22–24, NIV
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 CORINTHIANS 5:17, NIV
Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.
ROMANS 6:6, NLT
“Please tell your readers to be leaders,” said Cassie. “Help them to set high standards and encourage them to stick to them. Don’t make girls constantly have to be the strong ones when temptation hits, because girls don’t want to be pressured into doing something they don’t really want to do. We want a man we can trust and deeply respect.”
—Every Young Man’s Battle
Let me say this, then, speaking for the Lord: Live no longer as the unsaved do, for they are blinded and confused. Their closed hearts are full of darkness; they are far away from the life of God because they have shut their minds against him, and they cannot understand his ways. They don’t care anymore about right and wrong and have given themselves over to impure ways. They stop at nothing, being driven by their evil minds and reckless lusts.
EPHESIANS 4:17–19, TLB
For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.
1 PETER 4:3–5, NIV
I hate the work of them who turn aside [from the right path]; it shall not grasp hold of me.
PSALM 101:3, AMP
If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
1 JOHN 2:15–17, NIV
For as you know him better, he will give you, through his great power, everything you need for living a truly good life: he even shares his own glory and his own goodness with us! And by that same mighty power he has given us all the other rich and wonderful blessings he promised; for instance, the promise to save us from the lust and rottenness all around us, and to give us his own character.
But to obtain these gifts, you need more than faith; you must also work hard to be good, and even that is not enough. For then you must learn to know God better and discover what he wants you to do. Next, learn to put aside your own desires so that you will become patient and godly, gladly letting God have his way with you. This will make possible the next step, which is for you to enjoy other people and to like them, and finally you will grow to love them deeply. The more you go on in this way, the more you will grow strong spiritually and become fruitful and useful to our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 PETER 1:3–8, TLB
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 PETER 1:13, NIV
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
1 PETER 5:8–11, NIV
Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.
PROVERBS 4:23, NLT
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
COLOSSIANS 3:2, KJV
A man without self-control
is like a city broken into and left without walls.
PROVERBS 25:28, RSV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.
GALATIANS 5:22–23, RSV
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.
1 PETER 4:7, NIV
And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with self-control, right conduct, and devotion to God, while we look forward to that wonderful event when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed.
TITUS 2:12–13, NLT
Now a bishop (superintendent, overseer) must give no grounds for accusation but must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, circumspect and temperate and self-controlled; [he must be] sensible and well behaved and dignified and lead an orderly (disciplined) life.
1 TIMOTHY 3:2, AMP
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
2 TIMOTHY 1:7, AMP
Holiness is not some nebulous thing. It’s a series of right choices. You needn’t wait for some holy cloud to form around you. You’ll be holy when you choose not to sin. You’re already free from the power of sexual immorality; you are not yet free from the habit of sexual immorality, until you choose to be—until you say, “That’s enough! I’m choosing to live purely!”
—Every Man’s Battle
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.
PHILIPPIANS 2:14–16, NIV
So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.
2 PETER 3:14, NIV
For all his laws are constantly before me;
I have never abandoned his principles.
I am blameless before God;
I have kept myself from sin.
The LORD rewarded me for doing right,
because of the innocence of my hands in his sight.
To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
to those with integrity you show integrity.
PSALM 18:22–25, NLT
Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless.
PROVERBS 13:6, NKJV
I will be careful to lead a blameless life—
when will you come to me?
I will walk in my house
with blameless heart.
PSALM 101:2, NIV
He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless.
PROVERBS 2:7, NIV
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
PHILIPPIANS 1:9–11, NASB
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:23, NASB
In view of this, I also do my best to maintain always a blameless conscience both before God and before men.
ACTS 24:16, NASB
At a single moment, salvation gave us a new life and a new desire to be sexually pure for the first time. But this new desire alone will not bring full intimacy with Christ. We must say yes to this new desire and refuse to ignore it. We must choose oneness and intimacy with Christ. We must choose sexual purity.
—Every Young Man’s Battle
Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:… the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall.
MATTHEW 7:24,25, NKJV
But if you do not obey the LORD, and if you rebel against his commands, his hand will be against you, as it was against your fathers.
1 SAMUEL 12:15, NIV
In God’s kingdom, Old Testament or New Testament, choosing obedience has always been central to intimacy with God. Trouble is, we aren’t in search of obedience. We’re in search of mere excellence, and His command is not enough. We push back, responding, “Why should I eliminate every hint? That’s too hard!”
We have countless churches filled with countless men encumbered by sexual sin, weakened by low-grade sexual fevers—men happy enough to go to Promise Keepers but too sickly to be promise keepers.
A spiritual battle for purity is going on in every heart and soul. The costs are real. Obedience is hard, requiring humility and meekness, very rare elements indeed.
—adapted from Every Man’s Battle
Don’t you realize that whatever you choose to obey becomes your master? You can choose sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God and receive his approval.
ROMANS 6:16, NLT
Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
1 SAMUEL 15:22–23, NIV
This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world.
1 JOHN 5:3, NIV