For teens and young adults, sexual gratification comes from three places: the eyes, the mind, and the body. Therefore, as in any war, you must blockade the “shipping lanes” of the eyes and mind that drive you toward sexual sin and that keep your enemy strong. Beyond that, you must also make sure that you have healthy, positive affections and attitudes in your relationships with girls. In other words, you want your heart to be right and your boundaries clear. To accomplish this, you need to build three perimeters of defense into your life:
1. You need to build a line of defense with your eyes.
2. You need to build a line of defense in your mind.
3. You need to build a line of defense in your heart. Think of the first line of defense—your eyes—as a wall with
“Keep Out” signs around it. You defend your eyes by training them to “bounce” from anything sensual.
The second line of defense is your mind. With the mind, you necessarily block out the objects of lust, but you do evaluate and capture them. A key support verse is 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” [NIV]. You must train your mind to take thoughts captive, something your mind probably hasn’t been inclined to do.
Your third line of defense is your heart. This innermost defense perimeter is built by strengthening the authenticity of your Christian love for the girls you date, as well as increasing your commitment to become a blessing to others. You want to honor and cherish every young woman you date, just as you hope that the guy dating your future wife is honoring and cherishing her.
—adapted from Every Young Man’s Battle
A wise man is mightier than a strong man, and a man of knowledge is more powerful than a strong man. So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many counselors.
PROVERBS 24:5–6, NLT
Prepare plans by consultation,
And make war by wise guidance.
PROVERBS 20:18, NASB
I am warning you ahead of time, dear friends, so that you can watch out and not be carried away by the errors of these wicked people. I don’t want you to lose your own secure footing.
2 PETER 3:17, NLT
My child, don’t lose sight of good planning and insight. Hang on to them, for they fill you with life and bring you honor and respect. They keep you safe on your way and keep your feet from stumbling.
PROVERBS 3:21–23, NLT
Human plans, no matter how wise or well advised, cannot stand against the LORD.
PROVERBS 21:30, NLT
The one who despises the word will be in debt
to it,
But the one who fears the commandment will be
rewarded.
PROVERBS 13:13, NASB
There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.
PROVERBS 19:21, KJV
No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer.
2 TIMOTHY 2:4, NIV
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
JEREMIAH 29:11, NIV
It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Christ Jesus; and long ages ago he planned that we should spend these lives in helping others.
EPHESIANS 2:10, TLB
If any one purifies himself from what is ignoble, then he will be a vessel for noble use, consecrated and useful to the master of the house, ready for any good work.
2 TIMOTHY 2:21, RSV
I will let every one who conquers sit beside me on my throne, just as I took my place with my Father on his throne when I had conquered.
REVELATION 3:21, TLB
To him who overcomes and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations.
REVELATION 2:26, NIV
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
JOHN 16:33, NLT