SERENA
I was going back to the house. I couldn’t avoid it.
“This will be quick,” I promised Alex, or maybe I was promising myself. I had texted my mom, who was now home, that we were stopping by to say goodbye.
I had told her that Bob needed to be out of the house while we did.
“Do you want me to come in with you?”
I wanted his strength, desperately, but the thought of Alex in that house made my skin crawl, so I shook my head.
I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes.
“This doesn’t mean I don’t want them to meet you, Alex.” Tentatively, I reached out to brush my fingers over his cheek. He caught them in his hand and held tight. “It’s that I don’t want you to meet them.”
“That doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, babe.” There was an undeniable thread of agitation in his voice, and I winced, knowing that I was the cause.
“Please. Just... not today, okay?” I pleaded. The set to Alex’s lips told me that it wasn’t okay, not at all.
I closed my eyes briefly as I hurried up the walk to the house. Was I doing the right thing, not telling him that final piece of the puzzle?
Maybe I would tell him... someday.
But not here, and not today. This was going to be hard enough as it was.
Ringing the doorbell, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and waited. There was no answer. I rang again, then knocked, the sound reverberating off the wood.
No one came.
I furrowed my brow, hesitating for a minute. I had promised Felicity that I would come say goodbye. And I had told her that Bob needed to be out of the house before I did.
Maybe she was sleeping.
Slowly, I placed my hand on the doorknob. This had been my home, once. Surely it was okay for me to go in.
My breath hitched as I stepped through the doorway. I quickly looked around, a habit I’d developed to quickly alert myself to the presence of a threat... a very specific threat.
I didn’t find one.
Slowly I made my way through the entryway, peeked into the living room and the then kitchen, then made my way down the hall and to the staircase.
“Felicity?” I called out. There was no response. Either she hadn’t heard me, or she was actually sleeping in their room upstairs.
I passed the downstairs bathroom. The layout of the house had always seemed somewhat backwards to me, with the staircase ending at the far end of the hall, rather than the front.
My hand was already on the railing when the smell hit my nose. I paused, sure I’d imagined it, but no... it was real.
Lavender. Lavender like the flowers I would always find on my dresser after he’d paid me one of his visits.
I turned, my heart in my throat, just as Bob came through the door from the garage. He didn’t seem at all surprised to see me there.
In his arms was a bouquet wrapped in cellophane, tied with a big pink ribbon. A bouquet of lavender.
“Hello, Serena.”
I stood where I was, the sudden rapid firing of blood in my veins burning with heat. I watched warily, flattening myself against the wall, as Bob closed the door that led to the garage behind him, then toed off his shoes.
He wasn’t doing anything overtly threatening, and yet I still didn’t feel safe.
“Got these for your mom.” He gestured with the bouquet, and I was hit with another wave of the scent. “Lavender’s your favorite, isn’t it?”
His smile was bland, but I could see the hint of malicious glee in his eyes. My fingers curled, digging at the paint on the wall.
“Nothing to say?” He took a step closer, and I flinched. When I again looked through the loose strands of my hair, I found a satisfied smile on his face.
“Be a good girl then, and fetch a vase for these.”
Warily, I backed away, doing as he asked because it put space between the two of us.
The vases were kept in the cabinet under the sink, in the downstairs bathroom. I grabbed one blindly, the glass clinking against the porcelain of the sink as I sloshed water inside of it.
I kept my eyes on the door the entire time.
Because my eyes were there, I saw Bob follow me in before the lavender again hit me with its scent.
Stupid. Stupid. I hadn’t thought he would try to do this here, now, while Felicity was asleep upstairs.
Stupid. I’d let myself be cornered by the man whose abuse had changed my life.
“You’re a stupid girl, Serena.” Bob sounded contemplative. I hadn’t realized I’d spoken out loud until Bob chuckled and grabbed for me. I tried to push past him, to the door and to freedom, but he caught my arm and yanked me back. “Always putting yourself in these situations. Always offering up that tight little body to me, asking me for it.”
“No.” I shook my head frantically and pushed against him again. “I never asked for it.”
“You did.” His grip on my arm tightened. I wanted to scream, but fear had stolen my voice. “And it’s all your fault.”
This is all your fault. As he moved in closer, as the scent of his breath hit my skin, I was suddenly fifteen again. I trembled, my muscles paralyzed, wanting to be a good girl, yet knowing it was wrong.
His hand covered my breast, squeezed roughly, and I was yanked back into the present.
I wasn’t fifteen anymore. I wasn’t helpless.
“Why did you want me to come back here so badly?” Though the feel of his hand on my body was almost more than I could take, I let myself relax, hoping he would let his guard down. “Surely it’s not for this.”
“It’s absolutely for this.” Bob’s voice was a hiss, and when I looked into his face I saw the demon that haunted my nightmares, the serpent that hid in the body of a man.
“You thought you’d outsmarted me, getting those scholarships, moving away. Telling your mama on me.” The hand holding my breast squeezed, and his lips brushed over mine in a gross parody of a kiss. “She always wondered, you know, ever since you told her. And for that you owe me. But more than that, I wanted you back to remind you.”
“Remind me of what?” I felt bile rising up in my throat, and forced myself to stay still, even as panic coursed through me, sending my fight or flight instinct into high gear.
I needed him to step back, just one step.
He leaned back, sliding the hand that had been on my breast up to cup my jaw.
“To remind you that you don’t have the power between us. I do. I always will.”
One more inch...
I fixed my eyes over Bob’s shoulder and feigned surprise. “Felicity?”
Bob reared back at the sound of his wife’s name, but my mother wasn’t there. The second I had enough room, I pulled back my arm, pushed the force of my entire body behind it, and let it fly.
My naked fist caught him on the jaw with surprising force. His head snapped back, and he howled.
“You little bitch!” He howled. His hand clasped to his jaw, he spun and leapt on me, pinning me to the bathroom counter. “You’ll pay for that!”
I had no more time to plot, to plan where the blows would go. I simply rained my fists down upon him, hitting wherever I could, grateful for the extra strength that my boxing sessions had given me.
Somewhere along the way I found my voice and screamed. My voice sounded with every scream that I’d ever silenced.
He didn’t have the power anymore. He never would again.
As if through a fog I heard voices, shouting. Bob was pulled off of me, but I pummelled the hands that reached for me, backing away with my fists raised.
“If you touch her, I’ll fucking kill you.”
I stared up, my teeth bared, as Alex slowly backed into the bathroom toward me. He held out a hand for me, not taking his eyes off Bob, who hovered in the hallway, a portrait of confusion and rage.
“It’s not what you think.” Bob held a hand to the jaw that I’d landed my first punch on. As I took Alex’s hand, let him pull me close, I noted with satisfaction that Bob’s jaw was rapidly swelling and turning blue.
“The little slut came on to me. I was trying to get her off.”
Rage was a red haze that descended in front of my eyes. I jerked my hand from Alex’s, ready to fly at Bob again.
Alex got there first. He landed a solid blow with those strong, athletic hands, hitting Bob hard enough that he staggered backward into the wall. I heard a feminine cry from the hallway over the moans.
Wrapping me in his arms, Alex lifted me right off of my feet, holding me tightly against his body. He carried me into the hallway, where Bob slumped against the wall, and Felicity stood, frozen, disbelief and horror written over her face.
I looked at my mother, my eyes stone cold.
Then I looked at Bob. He was still sputtering, still angry, but through it all I saw a trickle of fear.
“I’m a lot bigger than you,” Alex spoke quietly, but his words reverberated through the air nonetheless. “And younger. Stronger. I’ve got abuse in my past too, so you might say I have an axe to grind. So understand this.”
He leaned in to Bob, swiftly enough that I flinched along with my stepfather. As I uncoiled, I grimly noted that the other man looked scared enough to pee his pants.
“If you touch Serena again, if you call her, text her, or even think about her, I will kill you. And if you run, I will find you.” My mouth might have fallen open with surprise at the brutal promise that I heard, had my body not chosen that moment to begin to shake uncontrollably.
Arms tightening around me, Alex pulled my head into his chest so that all I could see was the grey of his sweatshirt.
He carried me from the house, from the smell of lavender, from the memories.
I didn’t look back. But I couldn’t handle the thought of the future either.
Would I ever be able to outrun my past?