part0009

Your good habits will help you live a better and more disciplined life. You will have more self-control if your habits are truly beneficial. But what if you have bad habits? How can you break them?

We’ll go over the answers to that question and several tips along the way in this section of the chapter.

Figuring out what the top 10 bad habits are shouldn’t be that difficult. Just pull up your browser and Google it. Here are the top results that I was able to find recently. Some of the results were kind of surprising.

Here’s what I got (your results may be a bit different though):

Okay, so my list is slightly longer than ten items. Note that I didn’t arrange them in any particular order. I just typed them as they appeared on my search results. I had no intention of ranking them from 1 to 10.

Also, I didn’t put drugs on the list because it is an addiction, and it is more than just a bad habit. Well, I guess we can remove smoking and drinking from this list, but only if they are chronic conditions that one is already experiencing.

In this section, we’ll go over the different methods that you can use to overcome bad habits. You can try the tips that I will mention below chronologically, or you can just pick the ones that you think are much easier for you. Note that I have arranged them in a bit of a logical order.

Remember that it was mentioned earlier when we discussed the three Rs of habit formation that every behavior that becomes a habit will have a reward associated with it. The reward reinforces the behavior, which is why it becomes habitual.

If you are nurturing a bad habit, that means you are receiving a reward for that habit. There will be a reward somewhere in some way. From behavioral psychology, we understand that habits can either be rewarded or punished.

When a behavior is rewarded, it is reinforced and may become habitual. But if a behavior is punished, then it is curbed and has a slimmer chance of becoming a habit. Rewards reinforce, while punishment reduces the chances of having that behavior repeated.

For instance, if you are a smoker, identify the reason why you smoke. What do you get out of that behavior? A lot of people smoke because it is their way to release the tension and stress that they are feeling.

When you overeat, your reward could be the taste of the food. If you have a bad habit of putting tasks off (procrastination), then your reward could be the extra free time. Identify the reward.

After identifying the automatic reward that you get for your bad habit, the next step is to decide whether to get a punishment for the habit or to remove the reward you’re getting for that habit.

After identifying the reward you’re getting for that bad habit, you have the choice of either removing that reward or just punishing the bad habit. The idea is to cut the cycle habit formation so that the bad habit won’t get reinforced.

Note that this will require a certain commitment from you. You need to commit to either impose a punishment every time you do that habit or take away that reward that you are getting every time you experience a relapse.

For instance, if you are trying to lose weight and then you overeat (i.e., your bad habit) you can impose a penalty which takes away the satisfaction (i.e., the reward) of the bad habit—let’s say that you commit to not have dessert until tomorrow at lunchtime or for 24 hours.

But in case you decide you want to impose a punishment for the bad habit well, here’s a suggestion. Next time you overeat, then you should go on a 15-minute workout session.

“Empty your cup so that it may be filled; become devoid to gain totality.”

What does that mean? It means that if your mind is already preoccupied with something, then don’t expect that you will be able to fill it with something else.

The same is true when you want to learn a new habit, but a bad habit is getting in the way. What you can do is to get rid of the bad habit first and then replace it with a good one.

You are then hitting two birds with one stone. You are breaking a bad habit and getting a new and better one. The first step was to identify what reward you are getting from your bad habit—e.g., stress relief, great taste in your mouth, etc.

What you need to do is to find a replacement habit that also gives you the same or equivalent reward. It’s like getting all the good out of your previous habits minus the side effects.

So, for example, your habit is that you put off your tasks for later (i.e., procrastination). The reward you are getting from this is that you get a few extra minutes to yourself to get some peace and quiet before tackling a very difficult task.

What replacement should you use? Here’s a good idea—use a Pomodoro Timer. Using a Pomodoro Timer (also known as a tomato timer), you can set a very realistic work schedule that allows you to take plenty of breaks in between tasks. That way, you have more chances to do something enjoyable and reduce the tensions that your work may be having on you.

Telling a friend about a habit that you want to obtain already imposes a possible punishment or penalty for not achieving it. If we don’t follow through and our friends know about it, then we are punished by the shame of failure.

Of course, the shame of it all isn’t a powerful motivator. However, it may be quite effective for others. But there is another benefit that you can gain from telling others.

If you tell your goal habits to your friends, then you gain the support of the people who care. Let’s say that you tell your friends that you intend to break your bad habit of swearing.

You may have times when you’re so pissed off and your friends are around. Before you blurt out your next cuss word, they can give you that warning look. It’s a little check and balance that you get, and because you have friends around you that are there to help you, you can slowly but surely curb the instinct to swear.

Another way to make this work is to find a buddy who also has the same problem who may also want to stop just like you. So let’s say you want to quit drinking beer. Find a drinking buddy who also wants to quit.

You will then hang out, and in case either of you feels the urge, you can call one another or just send out text messages. You can then go hang out for a no-beer get-together. If someone relapses, there shouldn’t be any mocking involved.

You go out and encourage each other in case a relapse happens. The support system you get from friends and buddies helps to reinforce you through the ordeal of getting rid of the bad habit. They help you get over relapses and get you on the right track again.

Friends help to reinforce your motives to stay self-disciplined. Sometimes we all need a helping hand.

Rewards have a huge impact on our brains. The first thing you should do when you put off a bad habit is to reward yourself. Experts suggest that you shouldn’t restrict the rewards to sporadic big-time rewards.

For instance, you want to break the bad habit of living an inactive lifestyle. You can schedule a reward, such as a brand new set of gym clothes, after working out in the gym for four weeks. But four weeks is a long time, and you might end up relapsing within the first week.

What you can do is set up small rewards every time you go to the gym. You can get a protein-rich meal after gym time. Well, you need the protein anyway so that your body can recover from all the exercise that you just did.

Make a reward schedule. Use small rewards for smaller achievements, and then after a set period of time, you can schedule a big reward.

Now, here is a serious question. At one point, you will have to identify whether your bad habit is either just a bad habit or is it already an addiction. Because if it is already an addiction, then you will need some direct medical intervention.

Knowing the difference will help save you from a lot of frustration. Examples of addictive habits include gambling, alcohol, and smoking. Note that these habits are very difficult to break.

To determine whether you’re dealing with an ordinary habit or a full-blown addiction, please answer the following question:

If I break this habit, will it cause any changes to my physique and my mentality?

Why answer that question? When you go through the process of breaking an addiction, you will undergo withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms are physiological and very noticeable. Here are the symptoms to look out for:

You may need the help of a professional to break an addiction. It will require more than just your effort to get over one. If that is the case, please see immediate medical help.

Bad habits impede self-mastery, and they are hindrances to self-discipline. To increase your productivity and achieve better self-discipline, you must get rid of any bad habits that you may have picked up along the way.