THE NEXT DAY, Sara gets up and drives us to school without being asked. Ran is waiting for me at my locker as usual. Cassie sees us from a few lockers down and comes rushing over. “Hey, guys,” she says. “Great shirt.”

Ran’s shirt is hot pink and says GO WITH THE FLOW.

“Thank you,” he says.

For some reason, none of us has anything else to say, so we start to walk toward homeroom. We’re almost there when I see the Things headed our way.

“Uh-oh,” I say. I move closer to Ran.

“Hey, Hildy,” one of them says. “Is this your boyfriend?”

Ran stops in the middle of the hall to face them. People bump into us, but gradually the traffic swerves around us. Cassie looks like she wants to crawl into a locker. I would like to join her.

“Nice shirt,” Thing One says to Ran in his stupid “gay” voice.

“Thanks,” Ran says. He is so calm and cool.

“Excuse us.” I take Ran’s arm and start to lead him away.

Shockingly, the Things step aside, and the three of us walk on.

“See you at Hawee’s!” they call after us. But this time, I don’t cringe. Ran, Cassie, and I look at each other and crack up. Somehow, with Ran around, stuff like that just seems so stupid.

“What losers,” Cassie says, laughing.

Ran gets a weird look on his face but doesn’t say anything. I’m sure he would like to, but he has a thing about negativity. He’s always trying to figure out why people act like jerks instead of just letting them be jerks. I’m sure it’s something his parents used to have him do when he was still getting bullied. “Sometimes if you make up a really sad story for them, it’s easier not to take them being mean to you so personally,” he told me once.

When Cassie realizes Ran isn’t going to agree with her, she blushes. I feel sorry for her because I know she’s going to kick herself again for saying the wrong thing. I wish she would just take the hint that maybe if she is always saying things Ran doesn’t like, they wouldn’t make the best couple in the world. Besides, why can’t we just all stay friends? Them being a couple would ruin everything. And I don’t think that because I think maybe Ran and I could be . . . well, never mind. It just would.

“They seem pretty secure to me,” I say, hoping to make Cassie feel a little better.

“Looks can be deceiving,” Ran says.

Well, he would know.

After school, Holden waves to me, and I follow him to the curb, where we wait for Gray. Ran walks over to us and asks if he can come, too. Holden shrugs. When Gray pulls up, we climb in.

“Who’s the new guy?” Gray asks.

“This is my friend Ran,” I tell him.

“Cool.” He turns up the music, and Ran and I lean back in our seats. Once we’re on the road, Gray reaches over and takes Holden’s hand as if it is the most natural thing in the world. They start singing to the song on the radio at the top of their lungs. It’s like they’re friends and boyfriends at the same time. It’s the first time I’ve seen Holden look so happy. So comfortable. It’s like he’s a whole new person. I wish he could always be like this. Who he really is.

When Gray drops us off, Ran and I stand in front of the restaurant. “Gray seems nice,” Ran says. “They make a good couple.” That’s Ran. I knew it wouldn’t faze him a bit to see Holden hold hands with a guy. “But he does seem kind of old, doesn’t he? How old do you think he is?”

“I don’t know,” I say. I’m surprised Ran even cares. He never cares about stuff like that.

The door opens and Charlie comes tearing out at top speed. He flies right into Ran’s open arms. Ran lifts him in the air and almost falls over.

“I love you, Wan!” Charlie giggles.

“Nice to see you, too,” I say.

Charlie gives me a bashful look. “Hi, Ferny.”

He takes Ran’s hand and leads us inside. There are a few customers, but mostly the restaurant is pretty dead. Ran and I try to do our homework, but Charlie keeps interrupting us.

“Where’re Mom and Sara?” I ask, noticing for the first time that Mona is the only one taking orders.

Charlie makes a meditation pose.

“Again?” I ask.

He nods.

“What about Sara?”

“Helping Gil.” He crawls into Ran’s lap and starts to inspect his ear.

“Since when does Sara help Gil?”

Charlie just shrugs.

When my mom finally comes down, she heads straight to a table in the back with the big silverware bin and starts wrapping sets of forks, knives, and spoons in napkins for dinner prep. Charlie runs over to help. She giggles with him, and they chatter away as they stack the bundles into a fort around Doll, who sits on the table with her green dreadlocks and shocked expression. When I was Charlie’s age, my mom never talked to me like that. I spent most of my time making my own forts under the tables with Holden. I guess the two of us have always needed our hideouts. Even when we were little.

After what feels like hours, it’s finally time to go home. My mom scoops Charlie up and squeezes him tight. “Ran, do you have any dinner plans?” she asks.

Ran smiles. “Actually, my dad’s working late.”

“Come on home with us, then,” she says.

At dinner my mom tells us that my dad is at some special meeting, and she does not want to talk about it. I’m sure it’s about the stupid ice-cream labels.

Dinner is vegetarian shepherd’s pie. The fake meat is chewy and weird, and the only one who seems to like it is Ran.

“So, tell us about Gray,” Sara says to Holden. “What’s he like, anyway?”

“None of your business,” Holden says.

“Who’s Gray?” my mom asks.

Sara smiles. “Holden’s new friend.”

“Oh?”

Holden flashes my sister a warning look. “Yeah,” he tells my mom.

“He’s nice,” I say.

“Fern and I were wondering how old he is,” Ran says. I kick him under the table, and he looks at me like he genuinely doesn’t know why. “I was just wondering,” he adds quietly. “Because he seemed kind of old.”

“Old?” my mom asks.

“He’s in high school like me,” Holden says. “Jeez, Ran.”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“What grade?” my mom asks.

“Senior,” Holden mumbles toward his plate.

“A senior?”

“Wow!” Sara says. “An older man.”

I picture Gray and Holden holding hands. “He’s really nice,” I say again. “He doesn’t seem that old to me.”

“Is he from Union? Maybe I know him,” Sara says. “I mean, since I’m only a year older than him.”

“You don’t know him. He’s from the Academy,” Holden says.

“The Academy? Really? How did you meet?” my mom asks.

Ran’s head flips back and forth between each family member as if he’s watching a tennis match.

“What is this, the third degree?” Holden asks. “It’s none of your business!”

“I’m only your mother.”

“And this is my life, not yours! We’re not a show!” Holden picks up his plate and storms out of the dining room.

My mom sighs in her usual way. Like she’s disappointed and frustrated but it’s best to let him go. She’s always just letting him run off. Just once I would like to see her go after him and hug him like she hugs Charlie every five minutes. Just once I would like her to hug me.

“He’s so sensitive,” Sara says.

“Are they boyfriends?” my mom whispers.

“Why don’t you ask him?” I say. I remember what Sara told me, about how Holden needs to be the one to tell us he’s gay. But maybe he could use some help. Maybe if my mom would just try to talk with him, he’d open up. But instead of responding, she starts to clear the table.

Ran thanks her for dinner, and I walk him outside while we wait for his mom to come pick him up.

“That was an interesting dinner,” he says.

“I can think of a better word for it.”

“Like what?”

“Sucky?”

“That’s not a word.”

I elbow him. “I just wish my mom weren’t so laid-back, you know? I wish she’d talk to him.”

“Maybe she’s afraid of what he’ll say.”

“Well, yeah. But the thing is, I don’t get what she’s so afraid of.”

His mom pulls into the driveway. “Don’t worry,” he tells me before he gets into the car. “All will be well.”

I wish I could believe it.

Later, as I head toward my room to escape having to play Connect Four with Charlie, I pass by Holden’s bedroom door and hear him talking to someone.

“I could come see you now,” he says. “Yeah. I’ll just sneak out. No problem. My family is totally clueless.”

Slowly, I inch closer to his doorway. He’s lying on his back, knees bent, on top of his perfectly made bed. “You could come pick me up. I could meet you at the end of the street. . . . I know. I’ll get my license next year.”

That is a total lie, since Holden is only fourteen.

I hear Sara coming up the stairs and hurry to my room. I shut the door and lie on my bed, staring at my slanted ceiling where I picked the wallpaper when I was little. Holden’s voice sounded so pleading. So different from today in the car. He sounded like he wanted to escape from us so badly.

My family is totally clueless.

Not all of us are, I think. We love you. You’re the one who’s too clueless to notice.