THE CELL BLOCK is quiet these days. Now and then I hear whispers or crying, but there’s never laughter. Just the reminder of pain.
I feel like Waverly owes me an explanation, but she hasn’t offered one. I sit on the floor next to the cell bars, and she’s lying on her bed, though her eyes are open.
I have learned so much about myself and my father and the world around me, yet I still feel hopeless. Even though Waverly says all the things she says about having powers and that we will one day get out of here, it’s hard for me to believe her. The proof she’s given doesn’t seem to matter to me right now.
“Nine…er, Waverly,” I whisper.
She turns her head toward me.
“Why didn’t you tell me you talked to Warden Black about my father? You’ve known who he was all along. What did you talk about?”
She inhales deeply through her nose and lets the air out slowly. “We may live in a world of disorder and chaos, but that doesn’t mean some things don’t happen for a reason.”
“Like what?”
Her body still hasn’t moved, and she rests her hands on her belly, her fingers interlaced. “I tell Warden Black things about the future. It’s how I’ve avoided the blood tests from Holbrook. It’s how I’m still alive. And it’s also how we’re going to escape.”
She unlaces her fingers and slowly, stiffly, sits up on the bed.
“A couple of years ago, I told Warden black about your father. I told him that after he kills one of the twins, it would be in Black’s best interest to make Liam a janitor and a rat.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Well, I told him it was because your father would help him foil escape attempts,” she says. “I have seen multiple futures, Skylar, and the one where we escape is the one where I have to intervene. Your father walking in on that meeting was no accident. Your greyskin bite was no accident. I am the only one who can manipulate the future because I’m the only one who knows it.”
I didn’t know my father had killed someone. It was crazy to think that he has horrible things happening to him, as I do, yet neither of us has any idea what the other is going through.
“Things are going to get worse before they get better,” she says. “You have to be ready for that.”
“How can I be ready?”
She watches me a moment, then shakes her head. “I suppose you can’t be.”
“Except you can be,” I say coldly.
“Don’t resent me for my ability,” she says. “I carry a burden that you will never know. I have had to make decisions that would produce the best outcome, despite how painful the decisions may be. I’ve had to choose between people in my life. I’ve had to choose who would live and who would die, simply because I knew the possible futures. I’ve had to know when to step back and pull away from all of this, and when to actively take part. Like now.”
“But what if you’re wrong?” I ask. “What if you don’t see things right?”
“I’ve had my ability for a long time, Skylar. I never wanted it. I hate it. But it’s there. And there is just one path to getting out of here. There’s one path to getting out of the Containment Zone. There’s one path to freeing the world of the greyskin virus. I am doing everything I can to keep us on that path, despite the hardships along the way.”
“I don’t care about any of it if it means something has to happen to Papa,” I say. “I won’t have it. I don’t want you to use him for an outcome you think is best if it isn’t best for him.”
“I can’t see everything,” she says.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, I don’t know how it turns out for all of us individually. But I’m doing the best I can.”
“My father is a great man,” I say. “You saw the scar on my leg? He carried me all the way from a village, which took us hours to reach. He carried me through the night with a piece of wood through his leg. A greyskin bite on his shoulder. He got us home. Gave me the cure and then gave it to himself, not knowing if it was going to work.” I hold out my hands. “Here I am. And he’s walking, too.”
“That was the night he discovered his Starborn power?” she asks.
“We didn’t know it back then, but yes. He can suppress any pain.”
“And that will be useful getting us out of here and out of the Containment Zone,” she says.
“So, he’s going to be okay?”
“Yes,” she says. “In the end, we’ll all be okay.”
There is something about the way she answers that makes me not believe her, but I don’t know what it is.
It has to be enough.
I think she is doing the best she can, but I also believe she isn’t telling me everything. She has said as much. If I know the future, then I can change it. I guess I can see why she wouldn’t tell me everything.
The best thing I can do is trust her.
It’s the only thing I can do.