Some of the contributors to Led Zeppelin and Philosophy thought it would be fun to offer their sometimes serious, sometimes whimsical opinions on a variety of Zep-related topics. Enjoy! You can post your own lists, read others’, and enhance your knowledge of philosophy and LZ on the Led Zep and Philosophy Facebook page!

Calef’s Top Ten Led Zeppelin Resources

10. RollingStone.com CD review archives. This isn’t as much fun or useful as it once was, since Rolling Stone evidently has succumbed to long-overdue embarrassment and replaced some of their more excoriating original reviews (such as John Mendelsohn’s rant against LZ’s debut or the original attack on Houses of the Holy) with others written in the last few years, but you can still get a fair sense of why Zep didn’t dig the media, straight from the horse’s mouth.

9. The Tight But Loose web site: http://www.tightbutloose.co.uk. Probably the most up-to-date place to go for any and all Zep-related news. Hats off to Dave Lewis!

8. Led Zep’s official site: http://www.ledzeppelin.com/ Of greatest interest are the discussion forums and LOTS of videos.

7. Suzy, Led Zeppelin, and Me by Martin Miller (Soft Skull Press, 2008). This is by no means a gratuitous choice. This book describes in perfect detail what it was like to be, well, me! If you ever wanted to know what you missed ‘cuz you weren’t around at the time, or, if you were but just never got to see Zep, here it is, in all it’s heart-rending, charming, adolescent beauty and absurdity. Plus, it’s freaking hilarious!

6. Hammer of the Gods by Stephen Davis (1985, 1997). What can I say? I’ve got a penchant for the classics. Chapter Three: “The Year of the Shark.” Say no more.

5. Led Zeppelin’s Led Zeppelin IV, Volume 17 in Continuum Books’ 33? series, by Erik Davis (Continuum, 2007). With all due respect to Susan Fast?s In the Houses of the Holy, this is the closest thing to a philosophy book on Led Zeppelin next to this one. Smart-alecky, clever, and opinionated, a nice work for intellectually curious fans.

4. Led Zeppelin: The Story of the Band and Their Music 1968–1980 by Keith Shadwick (Backbeat, 2005). An intelligent if biased account of the band and, most particularly, its music by someone who knows music well. Plus, oodles of gob-smacking photos. Probably the best single source on the band not written by a Zep insider or someone just out to cash in on the band’s well-known tour antics. It has a disappointingly scanty index, however.

3. Led Zeppelin: The Concert File by Dave Lewis and Simon Pallett (Omnibus, 2005). The closest thing we have to a Led Zeppelin encyclopedia. Comprehensive, smart, and filled with fascinating anecdotes, photos, and memorabilia. Much more than just the set list from every show Zep ever played.

2. For the meaning of Jimmy Page’s notorious symbol from the fourth album, you can’t do better than this: http://www.inthelight.co.nz/ledzep/zososymbol.htm. This awesome website has much additional information, including not only discussion of the other symbols, but detailed maps and descriptions of how to get to such places of Zep pilgrimage as Headley Grange, Bron-Yr-Aur, Page’s Tower House residence in London, and others. (On the meanings of the symbols, much of webpage creator Duncan’s work has been incorporated into Robert Godwin’s The Making of Led Zeppelin “Four Symbols.”)

1. The Garden Tapes: http://www.thegardentapes.co.uk/index.html. Billed by Eddie Edwards as “the complete guide to the construction of Led Zeppelin’s film and album The Song Remains The Same from the three concerts at Madison Square Garden, New York on the 27th, 28th, and 29th of July 1973” it is all that and much, much more. An extraordinarily thorough accounting of every edit on all officially released live Zep recordings, whether on CD or DVD. A phenomenal and eye-opening achievement.

Dick’s Ten Track Led Zeppelin-Schopenhauer Mix

These songs embody the “Arthur Schopenhauer mood,” at least as evidenced by his essay, “On Women.” I do love my Zeppelin, but fathers, if your daughter’s boyfriend gives her anything close to this mix to woo her, nail the windows shut and man the shotgun.

10. “That’s The Way.” And here you have it, this is what happens when you let your daughters date rock’n’rollers—they most often end up alone.

9. ”Immigrant Song.” All the talk of Valhalla is clearly about conquest of a sweaty sort.

8. “Whole Lotta Love.” I’ve never heard of love being measured in inches.

7. “The Girl I love She Got Long Black Wavy Hair.” Plant sings in this one, “Her mother and father, lordy, they sure don’t allow me there.” Any father in his right mind wouldn’t.

6. “Trampled Under Foot.” Google the lyrics on this one. All of the car talk in this one can get you ASE certified—or pregnant.

5. “Hey Hey What Can I Do.” This one seems to be a testament to the difference between Schopenhauer and Zeppelin. See, Schopenhauer would be out looking for his woman that “won’t be true,” but she would be in the bars listening to Zeppelin, even though they’ll leave her and head on to the next town.

4. “The Wanton Song.” Zeppelin’s “fire needs a brand new flame, so the wheels roll on . . .” The title alone tells you where the mood of this one is going—somewhere lascivious.

3. “Heartbreaker.” Annie calls her lovers by other names. Schopenhauer probably also believes this is typical behavior for women, but I’ll bet rock’n’rollers do the same thing.

2. “Living Loving Maid.” One needn’t delve too deeply into this song to see why Art would dig it: “Livin’, lovin’, it’s just a woman.” Women apparently aren’t even good enough for personal pronouns.

1. “Black Dog.” Don’t let the lyrical story fool you. Any man who says “Tell you what, you do me now” with any kind of seriousness is going to be the one who wrecks the relationship.

Stone-Mediatore’s Top Ten Sublime Led Zeppelin Songs

10. “Achilles’ Last Stand.” Coupled with Bonham’s explosive drumming, Page’s murky arpeggiated intro and inspired progressive riffing are sublime par excellence.

9. “Kashmir.” Page’s suspenseful, chromatic guitar riff and the grandeur of Jones’s keyboards and orchestration capture the stark, sublime beauty of the mountainous region from which the song takes its name.

8. “The Song Remains the Same.” The sublimity of the song lies not in its lyrics or vocals, but in Page’s stunning, high-energy guitar work. Longinus would have approved.

7. “When the Levee Breaks.” This song’s raw and massive groove moves with the unstoppable force of the Mississippi. Once again, we see how simplicity and understatement can generate great sublimity.

6. “No Quarter.”John Paul Jones’s gloomy keyboard introduction sets the stage for this sublime song of war, and its themes of difficulty, pain and death. As in Page’s signature guitar riffs in “Whole Lotta Love” and “Immigrant Song,” the song’s main riff illustrates how a simple music pattern can be sublime in effect.

5. “Immigrant Song.” The theme of Viking warfare, Plant’s dissonant cries, and the churning dynamo of sound that accompanies them illustrate many aspects of Burke’s and Longinus’s theories. The song also features some of the most sublime verses Plant ever wrote.

4. “Whole Lotta Love.” Page’s signature riff is undoubtedly sublime in its primal power, but it’s the song’s middle section that lands it a high place on this list, with its disorienting dissonance, bestial vocals, psychedelic panning techniques, and searing guitar solo.

3. “Battle of Evermore.” Forgoing Bonham’s powerful drums and Page’s electric guitar, this acoustic composition achieves great sublimity through its lyrics and musical structure. The all-pervasive darkness of the song and its themes of warfare, pain, and death powerfully illustrate Edmund Burke’s theory of the sublime.

2. “Dazed and Confused.” From its murky chromatic introduction to its ending, this song epitomizes the sublime characteristics of gloom, despair, confusion and power. The eerie, other-worldly sounds that Page conjures from his Tele with a violin bow during the solo contribute no small part to the song’s sublimity.

1. “Stairway to Heaven.” There are good reasons why this song is repeatedly voted the greatest rock song ever recorded: one is arguably its supreme sublimity. The essential aspects of Burke’s, Kant’s, and Longinus’s theories of the sublime can all be found right here. Yet the song also manages to counterpoise its awe-inspiring power with the timeless, gentle beauty of its madrigal-like opening.

Macan’s Top Ten Most Progressive Led Zeppelin Tracks

10. “Carouselambra.” As with “In the Evening,” the remainder of the song doesn’t quite match the intensity of the opening, and structurally it doesn’t hang together quite as well as some of the band’s other epics. But there’s still a great deal of energy here (including arguably John Paul Jones’s finest bass performance), and it’s interesting to hear Zep in an ELP mode.

9. “In the Evening.” The body of the song doesn’t quite live up to the inspired opening riff, although Page’s kinetic guitar solo almost makes up for it. But what truly makes the song distinctive is its chilling droning prelude, which gives us some sense of what was lost when Page was unable to complete the Lucifer Rising soundtrack.

8. “No Quarter.” Murkily atmospheric and intense, Zeppelin’s lone (yet highly successful) foray into Pink Floyd-like musical territory.

7. “The Song Remains the Same.” Scintillating and virtuosic, possibly Page’s finest moment with some amazing arpeggiated parts. If Page and Plant had teamed up with Chris Squire and Alan White of Yes after Zeppelin’s demise, I would like to think it would have sounded something like this.

6. “Battle of Evermore.” Only a musician of Page’s invention could have imagined the mandolin in this context, and the duet between Plant and Sandy Denny remains as impassioned as ever. The song has lost none of its incantational power.

5. “Achilles’ Last Stand.” A cornerstone of later prog-metal, and John Bonham’s finest moment.

4. “Dazed and Confused.” One of the founding texts of what later became known as “heavy metal,” the shadowy, menacing sound collage in the middle of the song shows what a subtle and inventive band Zeppelin were even in their earliest days.

3. “In the Light.” Zeppelin’s invention was such that they could craft two East-meets-West epics on the same album, and brand each with a distinctive individuality. “In the Light” captures something of “Stairway”’s sense of inevitable growth, but in a completely different context.

2. “Kashmir.” East-meets-West had been done before in a rock context, but never with this sense of monumentality and inevitability.

1. “Stairway to Heaven.” Arguably the most influential rock song of the 1970s; a whole body of songs, several of which were very fine in their own right (“Freebird,” “Don’t Fear the Reaper,” “More than a Feeling,” “Heaven and Hell”) grew out of this. But the seamless, inevitable progression from quasi-Elizabethan acoustic to screaming proto-metal remains inimitable.

Wilson and Rees’s Top Ten Led Zeppelin Oral Fixations

I know we’ve taken a few liberties, but hell, so did Percy:

10. You might not expect the boys to have a sweet tooth:

Tutti-frutti (ice-cream) and lollipops (“Boogie with Stu”)
Chocolate (“Candy Store Rock”)
Sugar (“Candy Store Rock” / “Royal Orleans”)

9. They also like a Custard Pie (“Custard Pie”)

8. And, it appears, a surprisingly wide range of fruit in general (“Carouselambra”), and more specifically:

• Cherries (“Sick Again”)

• Apples (“I’m Gonna Crawl” / “Battle of Evermore”)

• Tangerines (“Tangerine”), and

• Plums (“Travelling Riverside Blues”)

7. The old favorite, the Hot Dog (“Hot Dog”)

6. Someone else’s Tongue! (“Dazed and Confused” and “Kashmir”)

5. A nice piece of Fish! (“Down by the Seaside” and “That’s the Way”)

4. And what do you squeeze on your fish? A bit of Lemon, of course! (“For Your Life” / “Travelling Riverside Blues” / “Lemon Song”)

3. Chill your drink with some Ice (“Immigrant Song”)

2. Any band featuring Bonzo naturally has a good range of alcohol:

• Booze (generally) in “Dancing Days”

• Beer (“Black Country Woman”)

• Wine (“Going to California”), and

• Bourbon (“Royal Orleans”)

1. Since we’re English, it has to be:

• Toast (“All My Love”) with

• Honey (“Black Dog” / “Candy Store Rock” / “Ozone Baby”)

• or Jam* (“Good Times Bad Times”),

• and most importantly of all, Tea (“Misty Mountain Hop” / “Tea For One”)!!

* that’s jelly, for the American of understanding!

Gracyk’s Ten Most Notable Led Zeppelin Appearances as Sidemen

10. Robert Plant, duet with Tori Amos on “Down by the Seaside” (1995)

9. John Paul Jones, bass, guitar, and arrangements on Diamanda Galas’s The Sporting Life (1994)

8. John Paul Jones, string arranging on R.E.M.’s Automatic for the People (1992)

7. John Bonham (via sampling), drums on Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic” (1992) 6. John Bonham (via sampling), drums on The Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique (1989)

5. Led Zeppelin (via sampling) on Robert Plant’s “Tall Cool One” (1988)

4. Jimmy Page, guitar solo on Roy Harper’s “The Same Old Rock” (1971)

3. Jimmy Page, guitar and production on Screaming Lord Sutch’s Lord Sutch and Heavy Friends (1970)

2. John Paul Jones, bass and (possibly) Jimmy Page, guitar on Donovan’s “Hurdy Gurdy Man” (1968)

1. Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones, guitar and bass on Jeff Beck’s “Beck’s Bolero” (1967)

Flynn’s Top Ten Dionysian Zeppelin Songs

According to Nietzsche, although our existence as individuals appears real, we’re just temporary and excruciating manifestations of overwhelming natural forces. Nietzsche thinks this “Dionysian wisdom” is expressed in all art. Good Dionysian songs redeem this lamentable fate by celebrating our struggle against, and ultimate release into, the very forces that undo us.

10. “Heartbreaker.” A reminder that love’s irresistible power is our undoing; for its wicked sake some people cry and some people die.

9. “Communication Breakdown.” The sense and intelligibility of the world eventually breaks down, as the music here manically attests.

8. “Dazed and Confused.” The ways of love are not only wicked, but also disorienting. When satisfaction is this destructive, we’re left to conclude that the soul of the woman was created below, with Lucifer, arch-transgressor.

7. “I’m Gonna Crawl.” The traveling blues considered from the other side; at home in love, crawling is immanent.

6. “Traveling Riverside Blues.” The classic traveling blues expresses the fact that we are will, driven down the road, pursuing love, on the run from love.

5. “The Lemon Song.” Sexual longing is relentless and futile. One way or another, we’re gonna have to leave all our love down on this killing floor.

4. “In My Time of Dying.” A death moan in which the singer’s words bleed into the music. The Christian invocations notwithstanding, this song is nature yearning to take its body home.

3. “Kashmir.” The road song to transcend all road songs, standing in majestically for the fact that we’re homeless, bound to be consumed by the sands of a storm that turns all things to brown.

2. “Whole Lotta Love.” To hell with opening the doors of perception. This song shakes them off their hinges and steps over the threshold. Are you sure you wanna whole lotta love?

1. “When the Levee Breaks.” This is the motherlode. “When the Levee Breaks” laments the inevitable destruction of the self by excessive forces of nature. Yet it celebrates nature’s power, and in celebrating it redeems the doomed life.

Bicknell’s Top Ten Non-hard-rock Cover Versions of Led Zeppelin Songs

What do I mean by “non-hard-rock”? Basically I just want to avoid the kind of Zeppelin imitators that Plant refers to collectively as “Deep Sabbath.” The list is not in any particular order.

10. John Cowan with The Waybacks doing “Ramble On.”

9. “D’yer Mak’er” by Sly and Robbie. There’s something very satisfying in the straightforward reggae treatment of this reggae-inspired song.

8. Blues singer Charles Thomas King’s take on “Hey, Hey What Can I Do?”

7. Another great country version of “Stairway to Heaven” by Iron Horse.

6. Dolly Parton, “Stairway to Heaven.” The interplay between the fiddle and the acoustic guitar is gorgeous.

5. “Fool in the Rain” interpreted by Mo’Fone—a jazz/funk trio of two sax players and a percussionist.

4. Collective Consciousness Society (CCS) instrumental funk “Whole Lotta Love.” You can see it on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjRqKVI9j5c.

3. Jazz crooner John Alcorn’s spookily laid-back version of “Whole Lotta Love.”

2. Tina Turner’s very sultry take on “Whole Lotta Love.”

1. Alison Krause and Robert Plant doing “When the Levee Breaks.” They play this live sometimes in their concerts. I particularly like the version recorded at the New Orleans Jazz Fest, 2008. Available on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_fkcgdaO9E.