Justine gave in and let West eat three donuts then bought him two puzzle books and a new headset at the outlandishly expensive airport electronics kiosk. She was probably spending extra money on him just to assuage her guilty conscience. While other happy families meandered by in the terminal to spend Christmas with relatives or embark on exciting vacations, she was traveling to Detroit with her son so she could dump him off at a daycare while she visited a woman she loathed.
Happy stinking holidays.
She didn’t want to face Alice. Even now, she realized, she could take West’s hand, walk down toward baggage claim, and leave the airport.
Steve might be a little upset, but he’s not the one who lived his entire adult life knowing he was the offspring of a felon. Why in the world had Justine let him talk her into a trip like this?
Snow was falling outside. Part of Justine wished that they’d cancel her flight. If it got delayed due to weather, maybe she’d take that as a sign from God she shouldn’t go to Detroit after all.
She wasn’t a religious woman. Not as religious as her husband, at least. Steve had befriended one of his key witnesses last year, the leader of a big church in Cambridge who’d been shot by a home intruder. The pastor had invited Steve to Bible studies and Sunday sermons, and then all of a sudden Justine’s husband was a walking, breathing Bible thumper.
It shouldn’t bother Justine all that much. She believed in God, and she didn’t argue when Steve wanted to take the family to church on Sundays. It was something she thought would be good for West anyway. But she couldn’t help wondering if Steve’s encouragement to visit her mom came as part of his newfound faith in this God of forgiveness, grace, and love.
Did her husband expect her to absolve a convicted murderer? There was a reason Justine’s mom had spent nearly thirty years behind bars. Alice had deprived Justine of anything resembling a normal childhood. Alice had murdered Justine’s father, robbing Justine of both her parents in one fateful blow.
In his spare time, which wasn’t much to speak of, Steve had been going over details from Alice’s case. In his mind, there was enough doubt regarding the circumstances that he thought Alice should have gotten herself a new trial. As far as Justine was concerned, there was nothing her mother deserved less.
Justine reached the gate over half an hour before her flight was scheduled to take off. There weren’t any seats near the window, but West was far more concerned with his handheld games than he was at watching planes departing down the runway.
She found a seat next to two young women, one with her hair dyed a vibrant blue. It wasn’t even noon yet, and Justine was exhausted from her day of travel.
You don’t have to do this, she told herself once more. West might be disappointed not to go on an actual airplane, but she could always buy him a new game or toy as a concession.
She pulled out her phone, contemplating what might happen if she texted her husband right now. Changed my mind. Staying home with West where we belong.
The nice thing about Steve’s newfound faith was that he yelled at her less than he had before he met that Cambridge pastor. He might be disappointed, might give her a disapproving glare or two, but in the end he’d realize that the choice was Justine’s to make and Justine’s alone.
All she had to do was stand up, take West’s hand, and explain to her son that their plans had changed. He’d be disappointed for a moment, but the promise of a trip to the water park or a gift of a new video game would melt away any permanent unhappiness.
She should go.
And yet something in her heart was telling her to stay.
Was it possible she actually did want to return to Detroit? Was it possible there was anything Alice could say or do that would change what Justine thought about her mother?
Wishful thinking. That’s all it was. The hope that once she saw her mother face to face, she’d realize that everything she’d read about the husband-killing monster was a lie. They’d hug. Embrace. Everything would be forgiven.
No, there was no possible outcome that involved the restoration of Alice and Justine’s relationship. Nothing at all.
Justine took her son by the hand. “Come on, West.”
He looked up at her. “Where are we going?”
She stood. “We’re going back to see Daddy.”
“What about the airplane?”
“Some other time,” she answered half-heartedly. “Let’s go.”