The end credits of the movie rolled, and only then did Toni realize she’d been able to forget everything. For a little while, at least. Empty ice cream cartons littered the table, along with dirty spoons and mugs.
She reached for the closest carton. Jeff did the same. Their fingers brushed. Sure, she might have kissed him earlier on a whim, but that didn’t mean anything else had happened.
“Sorry.”
She said, “Me, too. I didn’t mean to make things weird between us. Watching a movie was nice. Just hanging out.”
“Yeah, it was. Things aren’t weird, Toni. They’re just…unsettled.”
“It was nice to pretend everything is fine for a little while. But life eventually intrudes.” She’d thought ignoring it would help him. She could tell he’d had a hard time talking to Zander, even if he hadn’t indicated that to his friend.
Jeff likely didn’t want his friend to dismiss the sacrifice he’d made. Especially indicating it could be easily fixed. That was probably the worst of it—that Zander seemed to think he could make everything fine.
And what would that entail?
She wasn’t sure she wanted to ask. “I’d rather this was the world I lived in. Not what’s going on out there.” She shivered, still able to easily recall the weight of that man on her. “I thought he was going to kill me. Until you got there.”
“What did he do?”
“Not much. He wanted to know where ‘his’ Kristine was.” She glanced at him. “Did he really want her body? That’s just gross. And weird.”
“He’s sick, and I don’t just mean mental illness.”
She shuddered.
“He’s not going to get to you in here.”
“I hope he doesn’t hurt anyone else before they catch him. I guess I tried to bring him to justice the only way I could, but I still don’t really understand what I was thinking. Leaving the police a note?”
“It’s what I would have done.” Jeff grabbed a couple of empty pint cartons.
She did the same and followed him to the kitchen, hoping he would continue. “You would?”
He discarded the cartons in the trash under the sink. She brought him hers. Jeff said, “You stopped Lenny Marks from taking Kristine. You made it so she would be found. The scene was scrubbed. You took what was left and secured it somewhere that held the best opportunity to be found. You gave the police what they needed to find him. To give you the chance to go on with your life, keeping your security intact.”
That didn’t give her any idea why she’d come to Last Chance. But she was grateful he understood. “Thanks.”
He moved close to her, going slowly. Toni hoped he was about to do what she thought he was. That would certainly distract her from the outside world. In here, it was just the two of them. Too bad she was part of that pair—the Toni she didn’t know, a woman she might not like. What if she learned she was a terrible person? If her memories were anything to go by, she’d certainly seen horrible things.
“What is it?” He touched her cheek. “Tell me.”
“What if I find out I’m not a good person like you are?”
“You think I’m good?”
“You do what is right, even when you don’t want to. I know you want a relationship with your mother, and your brother. You want to see your friends, people you’ve known for years. Instead, you’re stuck alone in your cabin.”
“Nobility isn’t all that fun after a while.”
“But you still do it. Most people would have thrown in the towel because they want what they want, and the price for doing what’s right is too high.” Had she done that? Why else would she break protocol and come here?
She’d put Jeff’s safety at risk. Not to mention all the others connected to this.
Toni ducked her head.
Jeff pulled her to him and hugged her. Toni sagged against him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and laid her chin on his shoulder. “Thank you. I didn’t know I needed a refuge, but you gave me one anyway.”
His chest shifted.
“Did you just laugh?”
“More like irony than humor.” He squeezed her with his arm. “I’ll tell you soon.”
Because it related to her past, and the fact he knew who she was but couldn’t tell her. She didn’t want to bring that up. It would only irritate her that she couldn’t know. And yet, as it was with his family in town, he was doing the right thing. Secrets kept everyone they cared about alive.
“Can you at least tell me why you had to be declared dead?” Maybe it would help her process her own situation—when she finally remembered it. She might not like herself. But if she understood Jeff’s choices, then there was a chance she might understand her own.
He grabbed two water bottles from the fridge and handed one to her. “I told you about the high-value target.” When she nodded, he continued, “No one else could know who was working with me. After the IED exploded, the decision came down to declare me and the target dead.”
“Just like that?”
He nodded. “It could be played off that I’d gone rogue for personal reasons, but that we’d both died. No one else involved. Case closed.”
“You were dead, so there was no recourse. Only couldn’t it have leaked that you’d kidnapped her or gotten in a relationship and run off together?”
He shrugged. “I knew her from previous operations I’d been on. She was a nice young woman, but it wasn’t ever like that. She was like a younger sister to me.”
And the sister he’d had was murdered. No wonder he saw vulnerability, and in response cared enough to give up his whole life to safeguard it. In a way, he’d be doing what he could to save his sister by saving someone like her who also didn’t have a rescuer.
“I think it’s beautiful. What you did.”
“I had one arm. I was in the hospital. I didn’t really care, I was so hopped up on meds. It made sense, and I agreed because it meant mission complete.” He sniffed, glancing aside instead of meeting her gaze.
“What?”
“I’d just been told that the woman I’d spoken with so much on the phone—the one I had grown attached to—was dead. I didn’t really care about anything, and I really didn’t think it was so noble, what I did.”
She figured it was best not to touch his grief. Things had been crazy lately, for both of them. He was having a hard time, and she didn’t want to bring it up when she didn’t know what she didn’t know. She could inadvertently make it worse for him.
“So the woman you were safeguarding escaped,” Toni said. “You live in hiding, and the team who worked with you gets to be anonymous. Life goes on.”
She figured the team he’d worked with was Zander’s, given their relationship and Zander’s push to fix this whole situation for him. It didn’t take much to put that together.
What she didn’t get was her role in it.
None of this made sense.
“Life does go on. I’ve wished for it to go on a whole lot faster, but that was before things got exciting.”
She matched his smile with one of her own. He should do that more often because it took years off his age.
“And the threat? If he finds out you’re alive, then he’d guess the target is as well?”
Jeff nodded. “The general has friends everywhere, and the resources of a corrupt nation behind his attempts to find out the truth.”
“I would really love to know where I fit into all this.”
“You will.”
Before either of them could say more, the phone on the counter rang. Jeff put the handset on speaker. “Hello?”
“It’s Conroy. Everything is copacetic, so no worries.”
“Okay.” Jeff frowned.
“I just needed to let you know… The sergeant was out today with his wife and our K9 officer. They focused on the area you two found. We got a result. Annabelle’s body is being transported to the morgue. She’ll be released for burial in a few days.”
Jeff’s chest expanded. Just as she got worried he wasn’t going to breathe, he let out a long sigh.
Toni said, “Thank you, Conroy. We appreciate the update.”
“I wish it was better news. Have a good night.”
They signed off, and she tried to figure out what to say. Before she could, he took a step away. “I’m going to head to bed. Good night.”
That wasn’t exactly him running away, but it was close.
Toni stared at the empty room and sighed. She didn’t want to go to bed and lay there, staring at the ceiling—or the bunk above. If Jeff couldn’t sleep either, that would just be awkward. She’d be thinking about how much her burned hand hurt, despite the pain meds she’d taken, but unwilling to take the more powerful medication they’d given her that would make her sleepy. She needed to be ready for anything.
She cleared the rest of the debris off the coffee table and got to work on the dishes from dinner that were still in the sink. Doing it one-handed proved challenging, but this was the life Jeff lived every day.
Dishes led to wiping down the counters, so she flipped on the little radio located underneath the plates cabinet so she’d have something to listen to.
She found the same station he’d had on at his cabin and glanced over briefly at Jeff, wondering if they’d be reporting on the police’s finding already. Maybe it was a bad idea to have the radio on at this point, but there was only a song playing right now. No talking.
The song moved into another song that sounded kind of familiar. She hummed along as she wiped the counters with her good hand. The task served to push everything from her mind again. It was pretty simple to pretend the world didn’t exist when locked safely in a bunker.
She should just live here permanently. Then she wouldn’t have to worry about things she’d seen or done in her life. She could be whatever person she wanted to be down here.
Toni tossed the rag over the kitchen tap so it could dry. She found the backpack Savannah had brought her and wrestled it open. She pulled out a battered Bible that smelled badly of smoke. The framed photo was still inside the backpack, along with a few clothes.
A gold chain fell from the Bible. She caught it. The Bible fell to the floor by her feet. Toni stared at the cross that hung from the necklace.
“Your life will be what you make it, my Toni.” The skin on the woman’s hand was dark like Toni’s, and papery. She spoke with a South London accent, the sound of her words like home.
More words drifted through her mind. “If you want to take on the whole world, then you do that. God will go with you. Even in this.”
She’d had to save Amala from her father. Toni’s cousin Amala.
She sucked in a gasp.
The general was her uncle.
Tears rolled down her face as her entire life rushed back. Toni bit back a cry and didn’t let out a single sound. God will go with you.
It was all because of her. The death. The danger. The life she and Jeff had lived the last two years.
All because she’d rushed in to save her cousin from the fate God had given her. As if He didn’t even care how horrific it was. Toni couldn’t have just sat around, she had to do something. But it didn’t work, because Amala was dead.
No, she wasn’t dead.
Jeff.
She swiped her face and slumped against the couch while the song on the radio ended.
“I’m signing off for the night in just a few minutes, but we have time for just one more caller.” The woman’s voice was smooth. So different from the British woman—her grandmother.
“Who am I?” Toni’s words emerged with a British accent that matched the old woman’s. Then she switched back to the American accent she’d been using since Jeff found her. “I am whoever I need to be.”
“Am I on the air?”
Toni gasped, twisting around to the kitchen radio. That voice.
It was him.
“Yes, sir. You are. What can I help you with tonight?” The DJ sounded so innocent. She had no idea.
He said, “I know she’s out there. She took my Kristine from me, and she’ll pay. I’m going to find you little girl. You’ll pay for taking what’s mine.”