Jeff didn’t know what woke him. He sat up in bed, thankfully remembering not to hit his head on the bunk bed above.
Toni. Last time he’d left her alone, she ran off and ended up face-to-face with a killer. He shoved back the bedcovers and put his bare feet on the cold floor with a hiss. “Toni?” He couldn’t see her anywhere.
She hadn’t left. Please, don’t let her be gone. His life was normally so narrow, he didn’t have to ask for much. He had everything he needed, so his prayers should be simple conversation with the one person he didn’t have to restrict contact with. And yet he’d let that relationship lie fallow. It seemed natural now to reach out and ask for aid.
He didn’t want to lose her again.
Jeff heard a whimper. He found the source, moving around the couch to see her curled up beside the seat. On the floor, with her knees up. Distress underlaid the tears that tracked down her face in streams. She clutched the necklace in her hand.
“Toni.” He curled his arm around her waist and lifted her onto the couch, then sat beside her. “What is it?”
She shuffled back from him and curled her legs up on the seat. The hand not bandaged held the necklace to her front.
“I’d offer to put it on you, but I can’t do that one-handed.”
“Neither can I.” The expression of distress hadn’t gone anywhere. She winced, and her accent switched back to the one he’d heard her use the first time they’d talked on the phone. “This is all my fault.”
The sound of her British accent transported him to a place where he’d felt the most fear he’d ever experienced in his life. For those few seconds when the concussive blast of the IED hit, and he’d thought he was dead. Then he’d realized it was only his arm gone. For weeks after, he’d hated that it was his arm gone and not the rest of him as well.
Those phone calls he’d shared with her in the hours before everything broke loose were some of the best of his life. The two of them just…clicked. There was no other way to say it. God had put them together—on the phone of all things—in the middle of a war zone. He’d found himself connecting. Laughing.
But her fault? He didn’t believe that. “What is it?”
He was scared to ask what he really wanted to know, when all he could think was that her death had caused him to walk away from God. Now that he knew she was alive, he needed to get that put right. He’d been wrong to blame Him for the loss.
Thankfully, she answered his real question. “I remember everything.”
“Why would that ever be a bad thing?”
Fresh tears rolled down her face. “I remember everything.” She dashed her hand across her cheek. “I was supposed to be here fixing things. Apologizing. Instead, I made things a million times worse.”
“You found Annabelle.”
He’d hardly believed it when Conroy told them they’d found her. Bridget and Aiden, along with the K9 officer and his dog, had searched, starting from the spot where Toni had left Kristine. And they’d found her.
His sister would finally come home so they could bury her. After all this time, they would be able to lay her to rest.
Because of Toni.
“No one else ever did. That was just you.” He saw his words weren’t helping so he continued, “It’s not your fault you were chased by that guy. You couldn’t have known you’d get amnesia.”
She covered her face with her hand. “It’s all a mess. Annabelle. Kristine. I wasn’t supposed to be out in the open...meeting the police chief, or Tate and his wife. I was supposed to be under the radar long enough to find your sister, and then I was going to come to you and tell you everything. Apologize.”
“This isn’t your fault. Yes, we’ve had a breach of security. You can’t be blamed when you had amnesia and didn’t know. Or is it my fault for sending Zander a picture of you? I had no idea what you looked like. How could I have? We’d never met in person, only spoke on the phone.”
And yet, somehow, that was the most intimate relationship he’d ever had. Yes, that said everything that needed to be said on the state of his romantic affairs. Or lack thereof. The whole thing was pretty sad.
Then he’d found her, and it was like all the pieces he hadn’t realized weren’t fitting together suddenly snapped into place. His heart. His faith. It didn’t change either of their situations, but suddenly he already felt different.
“You came here to see me, and you think I should be mad, or sorry, about that? I’m not going to agree with you, I’m afraid.”
Her face fell.
“I’ll always think that was only a good thing,” he said. “No matter what. You’re here. You’re alive, and we’ve met. Finally.”
“I was supposed to be apologizing. You can’t try and make me feel better; that just makes it worse.”
He didn’t agree with that either and felt his mouth curl into a smile.
Before he could say anything, she said, “You thought I was American.”
“Because you woke up with amnesia and used the first accent that came to mind?”
“I’ve always been able to do whatever accent I wanted.” The distress was still there, as vibrant as ever. But he could also see she was fighting to overcome it. “I knew who I had to be here, and it was someone no one noticed. So I assimilated the same way I did when we moved to England when I was little. That was the trip my sister died.”
“You were refugees.”
She nodded.
“And you grew up to be a spy.”
“They put me through a redundancy process right before that mission.”
“What does that mean?”
“I was fired from MI-6. They kicked me out because I refused to follow orders and not take things personally. When word got out that Amala was in trouble, I jumped on it. Job or not, there was no way I was going to pass up the chance to use the skills I’d learned to get her out of there.”
“You went rogue?” Part of the mission had been that they were supposed to hand Amala to Toni—though she’d been using a different name—and bring them both to the US. Instead, everything had gone wrong.
“Zander was an old friend. He helped me get in on the mission under an assumed name.” She winced. “I grew up as Tuliana. That was what my grandmother called me when we went to live with her in South London. When I joined MI-6, they made me Chautona Havig. Toni, Tonya. Tuli. They all seem as normal as any other name I could go by. As much a part of who I am as all the other names I’ve ever used. That was part of the problem doing spy work. I can’t distance myself from any of it.” She took a breath. “When I found out my cousin was in imminent danger, I knew I needed to get her away from my uncle.”
“General Wambuso.”
She nodded. “When I woke up in the hospital, there were two agents there from the British government. They told me Amala, and you, were both dead. I was remanded into custody, and they told everyone I was dead, too.”
He closed his eyes. “They did to you what the US did to me.”
“But not because I was a hero. They did it to save face. Blamed me for everything and washed their hands of me. And—bam—now they have an asset no one knows exists, and I’m available since they’ve got me in a cell at a prison with no name. I gathered intel and even went on a few missions. Until I got word from an old contact that my grandmother had died.”
“Oh, Toni. I’m sorry.” He knew from their phone conversations that she’d been very close with the older woman.
“I was done. So I faked a car accident where I died a fiery death and Zander got me out—after he got over the surprise that I was alive still.” She brushed another tear from her cheek. “I couldn’t live the lie anymore. Because I wasn’t really living. I may as well have been dead. Then Zander told me you were alive.” She whispered, “Amala is alive.”
“I don’t know where she is, but maybe Zander can put you in contact with her.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can hardly believe it worked. Though not because of anything I did.”
“Thank you for coming here.”
“But it all went wrong,” she said. “It was taking forever to find Annabelle. Kristine had that guy harassing her.”
“What happened?”
“She was working late, and I was in there cleaning early because I wanted to check a portion of the hillside for Annabelle before the sun rose.”
And she didn’t see how well their lives correlated with one another? Jeff kept his mouth shut, though. She needed to process everything. She had to talk it out without having him interrupt to give his own opinion about her experiences and feelings.
“I went into the women’s locker room, and I saw him. And her. I saw her. She was covered in blood, barely alive. He was smiling.” She squeezed her eyes shut again, just for a second. “And yet, when it came down to that moment, I’m sure I was traumatized seeing her like that, I was also angry. I knew it was going to take time I didn’t have, and I wasn’t happy this could derail my whole plan. I didn’t care about Kristine. I didn’t even really like her.”
“But you did the right thing.”
“Ugh. Why does it seem like I only do the right thing because I have to. I had no other choice.”
“That’s not true. You could’ve left her there, or let him take her. You could have walked away and pretended you didn’t see anything. But you stepped in. She died, and you made sure someone knew.”
“He was so angry I took her. He spent hours waiting, but I finally came back to the gym. After I put her in the woods, I knew I’d have to clean up the showers or it would’ve been obvious to anyone that something had happened.” She winced. “I was just about done when he showed up again. He jumped me, asking where she was. He wanted her body. When I wouldn’t tell him, he hit me and tied me up. Drove me to the lake. I think he was planning to drown me. I kept mum and didn’t let him know I wasn’t as hurt as I was letting on. I knew I could get out of the rope he used, so when I had an opening, I ran.”
“That’s when I saw him shoot at you.”
“And I hit my head and forgot it all.”
“Trying to make it right. Isn’t that what you said? Seems like that’s what you’d do.” He squeezed her knee. “That’s who you are.”
“I heard him. His voice, just now.” She lifted her chin in the direction of the kitchen radio, droning on. “He called in. Said he was going to get revenge on me because I ruined his plans.”
“We need a way to tell him that’s what you do.”
“Ruin people’s plans?”
Jeff grinned. “Not like that. Your uncle? The British government? A killer intent on tormenting others, and you didn’t let him get Kristine. I was intent on being miserable, living my life, letting no one inside. When I thought you were dead, I went back to that. Because what was the point? And here you are again, ruining my plans.”
It was true. She had to believe she’d changed everything for the better in his life.
“You found my sister. You dragged me into the light.”
“And I exposed the fact you’re alive so you’re in danger all over again. My uncle will be hunting both of us now to get at Amala.”
“Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.”
“One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple,” Toni finished, her eyes shining.
“You told me that. In the middle of a refugee camp, surrounded by enemies. It’s the last thing you said to me before the world exploded and took my arm with it.” He held out his arm. “Push up my sleeve.”
She hooked her fingers under his sweater sleeve and pushed it back to reveal the tattoo. Swirled lettering read, “Psalm 27v3-4.”
She traced it with her thumb. “That’s the way British people write their Bible verses, you know.”
Before he could tell her that he did indeed know that, his phone rang. The screen said Tate. Jeff swiped to answer and put it on speaker. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Has Savannah called you?”
Jeff frowned. “No. Why?”
“I can’t find her anywhere. She’s gone.”