The Gift

 

 

Book 2

 

Spirit of Christmas Series

 

 

 

 

by

 

Vanessa Miller

 

 

Other Books by Vanessa Miller

Our Love

Rain in the Promise Land

After the Rain

Heaven on Earth

Feels Like Heaven

How Sweet the Sound

Best of All

Better for Us

Her Good Thing

Long Time Coming

A Promise of Forever Love

A Love for Tomorrow

Yesterday’s Promise

Forgotten

Forgiven

Forsaken

Rain for Christmas (Novella)

Through the Storm

Rain Storm

Latter Rain

Abundant Rain

Former Rain

Anthologies (Editor)

Keeping the Faith

Have A Little Faith

This Far by Faith

EBOOKS

Love Isn’t Enough

A Mighty Love

The Blessed One (Blessed and Highly Favored series)

The Wild One (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

The Preacher’s Choice (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

The Politician’s Wife (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

The Playboy’s Redemption (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

Tears Fall at Night (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

Joy Comes in the Morning (PHA Series)

A Forever Kind of Love (PHA Series)

Ramsey’s Praise (PHA Series)

Escape to Love (PHA Series)

Praise for Christmas (PHA Series)

His Love Walk (PHA Series)

Could This Be Love (PHA Series)

Song of Praise (PHA Series)

 

Publisher’s Note:

This short story is a work of fiction. References to real events, organizations, or places are used in a fictional context. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead are entirely coincidental.

 

 

 

Vanessa Miller

www.vanessamiller.com

 

Printed in the United States of America

© 2015 by Vanessa Miller

 

 

Praise Unlimited Enterprises

Charlotte, NC

 

 

No part of this ebook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical—including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system—without permission in writing from the publisher.

 

 

 

 

Prologue

 

December 24, 2014

 

Theresa Manning was not having a good day and it was getting worse each minute she sat in this unproductive meeting. She was a member of a singing group called the Four Ts. They had been on the top of the charts and loving life until drugs, booze and men got in the way.

“All of my fears concerning this group have finally come to pass,” Darrell Warner, the manager of the Four Ts said to the women as they sat around the conference table.

“You certainly never let any of those fears be known. All you’ve ever told us was that we shouldn’t worry because another record label would pick us up in no time,” Theresa said with fire in her eyes.

“And I believed that. The Four Ts are so talented, that I didn’t think I’d have a problem placing you all with another label. But so far, I’ve had no takers,” Darrell told them.

Theresa shot an accusing eye towards Trinity and Tara. They were the problem in this group. Tara was a drug-head and Trinity was a drunk, who couldn’t even stop herself from drinking long enough to accept an award on a nationally televised award show.

“What if Trinity seeks help for her drinking problem?” Tara asked. “Do you think the label would take us back?”

“Hold on a minute,” Trinity said as she put down her iced tea that had been mixed with a little something-something and turned on Tara. “Who said I have a drinking problem? Maybe you need to concern yourself with the addiction you have and leave me out of it.”

“I never said I didn’t have problems,” Tara admitted, “but I’m not the one who vomited on the stage while we were accepting our Grammy.”

“We weren’t on the stage. I vomited on the steps and we had already accepted our Grammy so my little incident wasn’t even on film.”

“You are the most selfish person I’ve ever met, Trinity Thomas. Don’t you know that your little incident didn’t need to be televised,” Theresa interjected, “because the cameras had already caught you tripping and slurring your words. It was awful.”

“And I suppose you’ve never done anything to embarrass this group… how’s your three babies’ daddies? Is the last one still on probation?”

“For your info, Tony is not on probation. That guy didn’t press charges because he started that fight.”

“Probation or not, he still got released from the Chargers,” Trinity was slurring words as she spewed venom.

“Again, you need to talk what you know. Because Tony wasn’t released from anywhere. He’s been traded to the Panthers, which is a much better team for his skill set.” Theresa had called off her engagement with baby-daddy number three, but she wasn’t going to let Trinity disparage him. She wasn’t going to let anyone harm Tony Black. Not while there was still breath in her body.

“Ladies, ladies. We don’t need to fight each other. We’re all on the same team here,” Darrell tried to calm the situation.

“Speak for yourself,” Theresa said as she stood up. “We don’t have a contract and I’m not about to saddle myself with this group one second longer. I’m out.”

“Are you serious?” Tara asked. “You’re really going to leave us at a time like this? We might be down, but we’re not out, as long as we all stick together.”

“That sounds good in a song. But this is my life, and I don’t need this.”

“We don’t need you anyway, with your half-singing self. Get-to-getting,” Trinity told her with no love lost.

Theresa swung her Marc Jacob’s Crocodile handbag on her shoulder and walked out of the room.

“I don’t believe she’s acting like this. When we went through that firestorm with the media because of her choice in men, she begged us to stick by her. Now she does this?”

Theresa heard Tara’s comment and didn’t care one single bit. Right was right and wrong was wrong. Her having three children while not being married didn’t bring the group down. But their drugs and drinking sure did. She didn’t have time to fight with the Four Ts anyway. It was Christmas Eve and she was needed at home to bake cookies and spend time with the most important people in her world. Besides, she had other problems to worry about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

1

She was pregnant… again. And even though it was Christmas Eve, Theresa Manning was far from jolly about this situation. She hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy because she just couldn’t take seeing the disappointment in everyone’s eyes. She already had three kids by three different men. Theresa had sworn to herself that she wouldn’t have another baby before a ring was put on her finger.

Actually, she did have a ring. Her third baby daddy had given her a ring after she’d given birth to junior. Theresa had gotten busy planning the wedding but then Tony went and cheated on her. And even though she was once again pregnant, she refused to marry a cheater.

What killed her though was how great Tony was with the kids. He had just been traded from from the San Diego Chargers to the Carolina Panthers. But he had been rehabbing his shoulder when he received the news. So, he’d asked the coach if he could stay in California over the Christmas break to continue his rehab and spend time with his kids. It wasn’t like the Panthers were going to put him on the field since he hadn’t been cleared by his doctor to play anyway, so the coach had allowed the rehab to continue in Cali.

Theresa had been touched by the jester, because she knew that the children would miss Tony. His trade to the Carolinas meant that he would no longer be just a couple of hours car ride away. But she wasn’t about to uproot her family and follow him, so he could do her dirty all over again.

She had allowed him to stay in the guest room while he finished the rehab on his shoulder. The kids were overjoyed to have him there. So, Theresa figured that she wouldn’t be the scrooge to her children’s happiness this one last Christmas. But after this, Tony would never be allowed to play the family game with her children again.

“Do I have enough batter on my spoon, Mommy?” Brielle, Theresa’s second child and only daughter asked as she scooped the dough out of the bowl.

Theresa lightly sprayed the cookie sheet with oil. “That’s good. Drop it on the cookie sheet and scoop up another one just like that.”

Her two boys, Mikey and TJ were in the media room with Tony watching football, and more football while she and Brielle were on cookie duty. That was just fine with Theresa, because she loved baking, and hoped that her daughter would eventually love it as much as she does. Being in the kitchen with Brielle reminded Theresa of her childhood and the many days she spent in the kitchen with her grandmother. In fact, all three of the cookie recipes they made for Christmas Eve were her grandmother’s recipes. And they were delicious.

Mikey ran into the kitchen carrying an empty bowl that had once held a mound of popcorn. “We need more snacks.”

Theresa shook her head at the boy. “Y’all so greedy, it’s a wonder that I’m able to keep this pantry stocked.” She wiped her hands on the towel. “I’ll grab a bag of chips but that’s it until the cookies get done.”

As she was headed to the pantry, the front doorbell rang. She then pointed towards the pantry. “You get the chips, and only one bag, you here me?”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Now let me see who’s at this door on Christmas Eve.” The house she shared with her children was five thousand square feet, so it took her a minute to get from the kitchen to the front door. However, whoever was on the other side of the door, didn’t seem to appreciate that fact and rang her doorbell again and again. “I’m coming,” Theresa hollered from the distance.

“Hurry.”

“I know you are not rushing me,” Theresa said as she opened the door and held it close to her side.

“Look, I know you have every reason to be mad at me, but I really need to…”

The door opened wider as Mikey, Theresa’s first child squeezed in next to his mom. Trinity stooped down and hugged him like she’d been away for way too long.

“Auntie Trinity, you’re hurting me,” Mikey told her.

She let him go and stepped back. “I’m sorry, honey. It’s just that I’m so happy to see you.”

“What are you talking about? You see him all the time. He was just over to your house last weekend,” Theresa said, the annoyance ringing loud and clear in her voice.

“Just because I saw my god-son last weekend doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him.” Trinity tickled Mikey as she reminded Theresa, “I did, after all, hang out with you all night long in that hospital while you gave birth to him.”

Rolling her eyes heavenward, Theresa said, “And then you went on stage drunk and ruined all of our careers.” Trinity Thomas was the last person Theresa wanted to see on Christmas Eve. And Tara Owens was a close second. As the Four Ts, Theresa, Trinity, Tina and Tara had once made good music and even better money. Theresa had been able to take care of her children even though she didn’t have a husband to speak of, and things had been all good. But, Trinity’s drinking and Tara’s drug use had put an end to all of that. The record company refused to re-sign them. After that, Tina informed the group that she was going solo. So, now Theresa was feeling salty and didn’t want to be bothered with anyone with a T at the beginning of their name except her son.

“I was wrong for that,” Trinity admitted. “All I can do is apologize and try to make it up to all of you, but I really need your help tonight.”

“You’re actually apologizing.” Smirking, Theresa needled, “You must be sober or something.”

“Yes,” Trinity declared. “I’m sober and I will never… with the Lord’s help, I will never touch alcohol again.” She lifted a hand heavenward as she made this declaration.

Theresa stepped back and opened her door wide enough for Trinity to enter. “Then by all means, come in and tell me what you need.”

Theresa escorted Trinity to the sitting room and then told Mikey, “You go play with your brother and sister. Auntie Trinity and I have some grown folks’ business to discuss.”

“Okay, Mommy.” Mikey trotted off without any back talk.

“And tell your sister to go into the media room with you and the nanny,” Theresa hollered after him.

Mikey gave her funny look, but didn’t blast her out for lying about some nanny being in the media room, when they both knew full well that it was Tony. Theresa didn’t want Trinity all up in her business. She didn’t want to explain why she was spending Christmas with Tony after calling off the wedding.

“You’ve got five minutes,” she told Trinity the moment they were behind closed doors. “I am not going to let you spoil Christmas Eve with my children.”

“I am sorry about this, because I know how you are about your kids and the holidays, but we have something important to do tonight so I need you to leave the kids with the nanny and come with me.”

“My nanny has been helping me with the cookies, and the popcorn and now we’re watching TV, so I can’t interrupt my life for you… not anymore.” Theresa stood her ground.

Trinity knew right off that she would not get Theresa out of the house unless she could convince her that Tara’s life was truly in jeopardy. “Sit down. I have something to tell you. I know this is going to sound crazy. But I need you to open your heart and listen to me.”

As she sat down, Theresa said, “It probably doesn’t sound any crazier than the one about you getting sloppy drunk and ruining our careers.”

Their careers had been on a downward spiral because all four of the members of the group had made poor decisions and acted inappropriately most of the time. But Trinity wasn’t going to argue the point. She started off her tale by saying, “I wished upon a falling star… I wanted so desperately to go back to a time before I knew anything about The Four Ts. The money and the fame didn’t matter to me anymore, because I was so ashamed of myself for how I had messed up my life… and God granted my wish.”

This was starting to sound crazy. “If God granted your wish, then how can you be here with me right now.”

Shaking her head, Trinity tried to explain, “I don’t know if it was a vision or a dream, but somehow and someway I was back home in North Carolina. And I was going to church with my parents and I was married to my high school sweetheart… and I was happy… finally, completely and totally happy because not only did I have Jarod back in my life, but I had finally reconnected with God.”

Theresa figured she’d play along. “So, why did you come back?”

“Because you and Tara would be dead if I didn’t come back.”

Theresa didn’t feel like playing this game anymore. “I’m dead? What are you talking about? Have you gone from drinking to smoking?”

Listen to me, Theresa. I told you that I wished I had never been apart of The Four Ts. That means, I would have never met you. So, I wouldn’t have been here when you were pregnant with Mikey.”

Theresa gave her a so what kind of look, so Trinity kept talking. “You wanted to have an abortion remember?”

Theresa nodded. Back then Theresa felt that her career was more important, because she didn’t think she could handle being a single parent and a career woman. “You told me that your mother thought that every life was precious and that abortion was nothing more than legalized murder of an innocent soul.” Laughing as she thought about it now, Theresa said, “I had wanted to knock those words right out of your mouth that day.”

“But you didn’t, and you kept the baby.”

“And had two more,” Theresa added, without mentioning the fact that she was pregnant again. Abortion hadn’t even crossed Theresa’s mind this time. Once she’d given birth to Mikey, Theresa wouldn’t dream of taking the life of one of her children.

“Anyway,” Trinity continued. “When I was back in Charlotte, being happy with my life and not being apart of our group, one single news report cut my joy to pieces. Because the newscaster stated that Tara OD’d tonight and that same newscaster stated that you had died five years ago after a botched abortion.” Trinity then went on to tell Theresa all of what God showed her about Tina and Tara’s sad future.

 

“If this was meant to be a joke, it’s a bad one,” Theresa told Trinity when she’d finished her story.

“I’m not joking.”

“So, you’re telling me that if you had gotten your wish, I’d be dead right now?”

“Look, I don’t know why God chose to show me this vision, or whatever it was, but nothing ever felt as real as what I experienced tonight.”

“And Tina is a murderer and a jailbird?”

“Since you died during the abortion, you weren’t here to stop Tina. So, when she got angry and set that fire at Drake’s house, there was no one there to stop her. She just walked away and let Drake burn up.”

“I never thought she would actually go through with burning down that house. I’ve been cheated on, but I certainly never went all crazy like that… I only rode over there with her because I thought she was going to get in a fight with him and I wanted to help her. But when I saw the fire and then she ran back to the car, screaming at me to pull off, I just couldn’t do it.”

“Tina owes you a world of thanks,” Trinity told her.

“She would have done it. You’re right. I will never forget how crazy she looked that night. And all because she was angry at a man she doesn’t even think about anymore. She has moved on and is truly in love with a good guy now.”

“God showed me that it was no mistake that we were placed into each other’s lives. And now we’ve got to go and help Tara… please, Theresa. I can’t do this without you.”

“Let me get my coat.” Theresa didn’t feel like arguing anymore. If what Trinity was saying was true, Tara was about to overdose. She went to the movie room and kissed each of her children. “Mommy loves you all, and I’m so thankful to have each and every one of you.”

“Are you thankful for me too?” Tony asked with a silly grin on his face.

Instead of answering his question, Theresa told him, “I need to leave for a little while. Tara is in trouble and Trinity and I have to go help her.”

“Me and the kids will hold it down here. We got this.” Tony leaned back in the recliner and flipped the channel to another football game.

“Can you all put icing on the cookies that Brielle and I already baked.”

“We’ll do better than that,” Tony told her. “The three of us will finish baking the cookies.” Tony picked up TJ as he tried to get the kids in a rah-rah-rah mood. “We can do this, right kid?”

Brielle and TJ were just as excited as Tony seemed. But Mikey objected, “But I want to watch the game.”

“Get up, boy. Part of being the man of the house, which is what you are, when I’m not here… is knowing when to lend a helping hand.”

Mikey got out of his comfy reclining chair and flexed his muscles. He took hold of Brielle’s hand as he told her, “Come on girl, if you need help, I’m the man for the job.”

“That’s my boy.” Tony and Mikey high-fived.

“You don’t have to worry about a thing, Dad. Because when you leave, I’m going to step right up and be the man of the house.”

Theresa had been smiling at Mikey’s little man act until he mentioned the taboo subject. Because Tony would be leaving in less than a weeks time. He would be heading to Charlotte to be Mr. Football, and would forget all about them by the time the next woman came to his hotel room and threw herself at him. She was tempted to tell him to leave her cookie dough alone. But that would only upset the children, so she let it be.

What harm would it be to let him play daddy for one more week, Theresa asked herself as she walked out of the room. But she knew all to well the harm it would bring to her heart, once they stopped playing house and Tony walked out of her life for good this time. Because there was no coming back, not after he cheated on her. Once he left for Charlotte, Theresa would never allow him to stay in her house again.

That fact saddened her, because it was the end of a love story… one that Theresa thought would go the distance. Surprise, surprise, yet again, she had picked the wrong man to play daddy to her children. But after the story Trinity told her tonight, Theresa would willingly deal with her broken heart, just as long as she had her children.

Tears drifted down Theresa’s face. She quickly wiped them away as she stepped out of the house and into Trinity’s car.

“Have you been crying?” Trinity asked as Theresa closed the car door.

“Girl, just the thought of not having my babies has got me all choked up.”

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Trinity told her, “I’m glad I was here for you.”

“Yeah, me too. Now let’s go get Tina so we can save the day for Tara.”

 

 

 

 

 

2

“Let’s get it started up in this piece,” Tara shouted from the table top she was standing on. It was Christmas Eve and Tara knew that she should be happy and in a celebratory mood. But this Christmas Eve was like all the rest. And the sadness of that simply fact left her with an overwhelming need to get high. Higher than she’d ever been before.

But standing on this table in her favorite bar wasn’t getting her high enough, Tara needed to soar. She needed to be free… to no longer feel pain. All her life, Tara had thought that success would dull the pain that life had brought to her, but even that had been fleeting

“Sing for us, Tara. Sing Peace of My Heart,” a woman in the crowd called out.

Her fans had always been the puppet-master. Pull her strings and she would thrill them with a song. Pull her string again and she’d show them the new dance that the group had learned. But no more, the contracts had dried up, the money was drying up. She wouldn’t sing for her puppet-masters anymore… she wanted to soar.

Stepping down from the table, Tara told one of her groupies. “Grab a bunch of your friends and let’s go back to my house to party.” Tara hated being alone on Christmas Eve. Her best friend, Trinity, knew why. So, they normally spent this horrible evening together doing goofy stuff. But Tara didn’t want to be bothered with Trinity or any of the members of her singing group, The Four Tops. So she choose to spend the worst night of her life with nameless, faceless people who adored her.

But when she arrived home with her entourage, she put in a CD and blasted it to drown out the sounds of anyone and everything, accept the music. It’s always been about the music… and partying. Ready to do some serious damage to the drugs she kept stashed in her safe, Tara was about to head upstairs to get her supplies when she saw Trinity, Theresa and Tina step into her space. They had been upstairs and even though Tara’s eyes were bloodshot she could tell that something had ticked them off. “What’s going on? Why are you all in my home?”

Theresa screamed at her, “We’re about to show you.”

They shut off the music, started pouring out the liquor and then declared Tara’s house a dry house.

Tara got so mad that she threatened to call the cops.

“Do that. I’d love to tell them about this little drug party you’re throwing and about what we found in your safe,” Trinity warned.

At the mention of the police, Tara’s entourage started picking up their coats and grabbing extra bottles of beer as they scattered to the door.

“Get out!” Tara screamed at them after her groupies left.

“We’re not leaving you to die by yourself tonight,” Tina told her.

“What’s all this talk about dying? I was just having a little fun… trying to unwind.”

“Trust us, Tara, if we leave you here, you’ll be dead tomorrow.” Tears streamed down Trinity’s face as she said, “I couldn’t live with myself if I let you die without trying to help you.” She went to Tara and knelt down in front of her. “I’m so sorry that I never tried to stop you before or that I didn’t realize how much pain you’re still dealing with, but something’s got to change.”

“Nobody’s bothering you about all the alcohol you drink. Why you gotta come over here and bother me?”

“I gave it up, Tara. I can’t explain everything that happened to me tonight. But God showed me a better way to live… and I’m pressing forward without my crutch.”

“How about you, Tara? Will you let us help you?” Theresa asked.

“But why you got to act like I’m going to die? I wouldn’t say nothing like that to you, Trinity.”

“Here’s the deal, Tara. I don’t know if it’s something that’s already in your system, or if you were going to ingest something else tonight that would kill you, but your life is in jeopardy.”

Tina took the keys out of her pocket and said, “Bottom line… we are taking you to the hospital for observation tonight.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

Theresa told her. “I could be at home with my kids enjoying Christmas Eve. I didn’t come over here to just sit around with some drug head, so if we have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming, that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Dag, why you miss Christmas Eve with your kids for me?” Tara asked Theresa. That made her feel worse than she normally felt on this horrible day.

“Because I don’t want to wake up in the morning to see your picture flashing on the news channel with the anchor announcing your death.”

“Alright, alright. You all aren’t going to leave unless I go, so, let’s get this over with.”

Trinity breathed a sigh of relief as they helped Tara to the car and drove her to the hospital. Tara’s stomach was pumped and then while Theresa went home to be with her kids, Trinity and Tina stayed with her for the rest of the night. 

By seven in the morning Tara was still alive and had agreed to check into a rehab facility. “You made the right decision, Tara. You won’t regret this.”

Tara smiled. “Thanks for being here for me, Trinity. Now, go home and get some rest.”

“I don’t think I should leave you. It’s Christmas, after all.” 

“You were with me on Christmas Eve. That’s the most important part.” Trying to smile as best she could, Tara directed Trinity towards the door. “Go on… go be with your family.”

Trinity squeezed Tara’s hand, then let go. But before she could get out the door of Tara’s hospital room, Tara called to her. “Why were you so sure I was going to die last night?”

Trinity turned back to face Tara. She looked as if she was about to say something, but then had a change of heart. “I’ll tell you what, Tara, you get clean and then ask me how I knew. And I’ll tell you the whole wonderful story of how I discovered that the Four T’s were meant to be.”

 

 

 

 

 

3

“Wake up, Mommy. It’s Christmas!”

“Five more minutes, okay. Just five more minutes.” Theresa was dog tired from the events of last night and didn’t have the energy to make her way downstairs and fix the customary Christmas pancakes as she watched her children open their presents.

“Come on Mommy, everyone else is already downstairs,” Brielle told her.

Dragging herself out of bed, Theresa threw on her robe as she mumbled to herself, “Coffee, before pancakes.”

But as she stepped into the kitchen, dreaming about coffee and preparing to mix the pancake batter, Tony handed her a cup a coffee. “I figured you might need this,” he told her.

Theresa also caught the smell of cinnamon pancakes and turned toward the stove to see Mikey flipping the cakes. “What is going on in here?”

“We’re just lending a helping hand, Mom. You know, like men do when the women need it,” Mikey told her.

Theresa smiled as she put a hand on Mikey’s head. “You’re going to be a wonderful husband to a very lucky woman some day.”

“Daddy’s a wonderful husband too,” Brielle told her.

Daddy, daddy, daddy. That’s all she ever hears around this house. When will these kids realize that they don’t have a daddy? Just a mother who is trying to love and parent them to the best of her ability. Her kids were wishing on stars, just as Trinity had done. But Theresa was going to bring her kids back to reality sooner than they might want. Because after Tony leaves this time, she was going to sit each one of them down and let them know that he wasn’t coming back and that the wedding was off.

“Why are you looking so serious?” Tony asked as he handed her a plate with three pancakes stacked on it.

She shook her head, not wanting to acknowledge the thoughts that were swirling around her head. “No reason.” She turned to the kids and said, “I thought y’all wanted to open some presents… let’s get this show on the road.”

“Not so fast,” Tony said. “I promised the kids I would read from the Bible, so they would finally understand the true meaning of Christmas.”

This was all too much. Tony was no longer a part of this family and she wasn’t going to have him acting the part. “You’re fixing coffee, making pancakes with the kids and now you want to tell them about Christmas… don’t you think you’re doing too much?”

Tony took the coffee and the plate out of Theresa’s hand, sat them on the counter and then took her hand as he guided her into the mud room out of view of the children. “Look,” he began. “You’ve been setting the rules since you called off our engagement. I’m not allowed to touch you, I can’t encourage the kids to call me daddy.”

“I never told you that.” She thought the mess out of it, but never said those exact words to him.

“I see the way you cringe every time Brielle or Mikey say the word.” He held up a hand, indicating he didn’t want to start a fight. “I’m not going to argue with you about that. But, you’ve also told me that I can’t come back once my shoulder is healed, so at least allow me to spend this last Christmas with my kids in the manner I see fit.”

He walked away from her after declaring her kids to be his, when in fact, only TJ was his child. But Tony never saw it that way. From the moment they became a couple, he had been there for her kids. So she decided to shut her mouth and allow her children to have a daddy in the house this Christmas.

“Okay everybody, join me around the tree.” Tony then turned back to Theresa and asked, “Can you hand me the Bible?”

She shook her head.

Clearly annoyed by her response, Tony told the children. “Let me find the Bible and I’ll be right back.”

Theresa stopped him. “I’m not being rude. I shook my head no, because I don’t own a Bible.”

The stunned look on Tony’s face said it all. “How can you not own a Bible? Don’t you want the kids to know about God?”

Theresa had never thought much about God before. Her life had been hectic with singing, traveling and taking care of children. God had always been an after thought, something that she would get to when she was done touring… when her kids were older. But after the story Trinity told her last night, Theresa was feeling as if she’d messed up royally by not providing her kids with the knowledge of God. “I can look some bible versus up on my computer. Just tell me which verses and I’ll get it printed out for you,” she offered.

But Tony just sat the kids down in front of the Christmas tree. “I think I remember enough of what my mother used to read to me. I’ll just wing it.”

“Are we going to open the present now?” Brielle asked as she jumped into Tony’s lap.

“As long as my Transformer is under that tree, you can take as much time as you need,” Mikey said.”

“And that’s kind of what I want to talk to you about. Because most kids these days think that Christmas isn’t Christmas if they don’t get the exact gifts they requested. But there is so much more to this day.”

“What could be better than gifts?” Brielle asked with curious eyes.

“How about the ultimate gift?” Tony then began to tell the children how the virgin Mary was with child, even though she had never been with a man… “Now Mary was engaged to a man named Joseph. And even though he knew that he wasn’t the father of the child she was carrying, he also trusted that Mary was a good woman and would never cheat on him. So, Joseph believed her when she said that the baby she was carrying was the son of God.”

“What?” Mikey scrunched his eyebrows. “He fell for that?”

“Tell me about it,” Tony agreed with Mikey. “It took a lot of faith to trust that Mary was being legit. I don’t know if I could trust like that. But thank God that Joseph did. Because he would soon discover that the baby Mary was carrying was indeed the greatest gift this world would ever receive…

The kids seemed interested so, Tony continued, “Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem, the town of David. Mary was very pregnant at the time of this trip, so she went into labor and ended up giving birth to Jesus in a stable. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room in the inn. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were scared. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’

“ Then suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.’ When the angels had left them, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Then one day three wise men traveled from far off places to come and find this little baby Jesus, who was the greatest gift ever giving to the world. It was to them as if they were visiting a king. So, they brought Him very expensive gifts.”

“So, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and we’re supposed to give Him gifts?” Mikey had a sorrowful expression on his face, like he wouldn’t begin to know what to give to Jesus.

Smiling, Tony said, “Yes, Christ-mas is about the birth of Jesus Christ. And the only gift He wants us to give Him is our hearts, and to live to serve Him.”

“But we can still open our presents, right?” Brielle batted her big brown eyes at him.

“Yes, of course you can open your presents. I just wanted you all to understand that no matter what is under this tree, it will never be better than the greatest gift of all… And all you have to do to accept the gift of Jesus is to allow Him into your heart.”

As the kids practically dived under the tree, grabbing every present they could find that had their name on it, Tony stood next to Theresa. “Do you think they heard any of the story I told them?”

Theresa was near tears because even if they kids hadn’t heard Tony, she had. And the one thing that stood out to her was when he talked about Mary being pregnant and having to tell Joseph. Mary had been in a terrible position, carry a baby that didn’t belong to Joseph and yet, she didn’t hide anything from the man that was to become her husband. But here she was carrying a baby that belonged to Tony, and still she refused to tell him.

Part of the reason she didn’t tell him was because she was afraid that he would refuse to leave and demand that they get married immediately. And she was afraid that her foolish heart would get swept up in the moment and then she’d be married and living with a cheater. And she’d rather be a single mother than endure such a thing.

However, the way Tony was with the kids made Theresa think twice about her vow of single motherhood. Her children loved Tony and he would be an awesome father… but would he be an awesome husband?

She put her coffee mug down and stepped away from Tony and the thoughts swirling around in her head as she told him, “When the kids are finished opening their presents I’m going to the hospital to check on Tara.”

 

~~~~

“I’m glad to see that you’re still here,” Theresa said as she walked into Tara’s room carrying a dozen pink roses.

“Where am I supposed to go? I haven’t even received my release papers yet.”

Sitting the roses on the bed side table, Theres said, “I just talked to your nurse and she is working on your discharge paperwork now. So, I came just in time to drive you home.”

“Why are you missing time with your kids on Christmas for me? You should be at home, watching them play with all their new toys.”

Theresa pulled up a chair and sat down. “Trust me, while they’re playing with all of those new toys, they aren’t even thinking about me.”

“Yeah, but you love watching them on Christmas morning. You’ve told us all on numerous occasions, not to bother you on certain holidays. Now I feel worse than ever that I’ve stolen more time away from your kids.”

“A good friend once told me, ‘We might be down, but we’re not out, as long as we all stick together’. So, I thought I’d come hang out with you for a little while… let you know that their are people who are still in your corner.”

“That only sounds good as the lyrics to a song… that’s what you told me when I suggested that we stick together, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. But maybe I was wrong.”

“But I don’t want you missing time with your kids.”

“Calm down, Tara. Tony is at the house with the kids and I needed to get away from him for a little while. So, you haven’t stolen anything from my kids.”

A smile creeped across Tara’s face as she said, “So, you’re like a runaway bride or something?”

“Or something,” Theresa agreed and then quickly changed the subject because she couldn’t deal with the reason why she was running away from Tony. She needed time to process everything and figure out just when the right time to tell him about the baby would be. “How are you feeling this morning? Did they get you all detoxed?”

“My buzz is gone, that’s for sure.” Tara didn’t look too happy about that.

“Well, I hate to be an even bigger buzz kill, but with everything that was going on with you last night we didn’t have time to give you and update on the group.”

“What update?” Tara interrupted. “Are we getting a new manager, because we sure need one.”

“That will be up to you and me, because as you know, Tina has left the group to go solo. But the thing I don’t think you’re aware of is that Trinity is most likely moving back to North Carolina.”

“Trinity?” Tara shook her head. “She wouldn’t leave us like that. She loves this group just as much as we do.”

“Trinity is different now. But different in a good way. I don’t think she’s coming back.”

Before they could discuss anything further, the nurse strutted into the room with papers in her hand. “The doctor has signed your release papers, Ms. Owens.

“Oh goodie,” Tara exclaimed in the most sarcastic tone she could muster. She didn’t care if this woman told noisy reporters that she was rude. Because Tara knew that the biggest headline would be that she was a confirmed druggy.

And right now she was ticked off because nobody bothered to ask if she wanted all things changes. The Four Ts was now Two Ts. How was she supposed to process that? She didn’t know whether to be mad or sad about her current predicament. Didn’t know if all of this was her fault or who to point the finger at this time.

She played it calm and cool while Theresa drove her home. But once she was left alone with her thoughts, Tara could think about nothing other than getting rid of the pain that was attempting to consume her again. She threw on a gold and cream dress and hit the town… party time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

While Tara was partying, Theresa was finding new things to agonize over. For the most part, Christmas had been enjoyable. Theresa had been able to block the reality of everything she was dealing with and just spent the evening playing with her children and their new toys. But at eight a.m. on the dot the next morning, the phone rang. It was her mortgage company, informing her that her payment was late.

“What are you talking about? My payments are always on time.” She received a ledger from her accountant every month indicating the bills she owed and the payments that had been made on them.

The woman on the other line used a very patient tone as she said, “You are correct that in the five years that you’ve had this mortgage with us, your payment had never been late.” She paused then added, “I’m calling to find out what has changed, and to see if you need any assistance from us.”

“What has changed?” Theresa honestly didn’t understand this woman. If her payment have always been on time, why were they calling her. “Why would I need assistance?”

With the same patient tone, she answered, “Because we didn’t receive your payment this month. We thought you might want to take care of this lapse before it goes thirty days late.”

“Let me speak with my accountant so I can get this matter resolved.”

Theresa meant to call the accountant the minute she hung up the phone, but then Mikey ran into the room all excited about their annual day after Christmas shopping spree.

Rolling out of bed, Theresa told Mikey, “Go wake Tony up and tell him to get junior dressed. I’ll get your sister dressed and then we’ll be ready to go.”

Theresa was sleepy and very tired, especially after the sleepless night she endured, thanks to a nightmare about father’s stealing babies. She seriously doubted that Tony would be mean spirited enough to take TJ and the baby she was now carrying away from her, but the dream still shook her up. Theresa recognized that the dream probably stemmed from the guilt she felt at not telling Tony about the baby. But if he knew about the baby, Tony would find some way to postpone his trip to Charlotte. And Theresa just couldn’t handle that.

But she could handle this annual shopping trip with her kids. They always had fun picking out ornaments to hang on the tree the following Christmas and getting all the discounted deals they could carry. So, no matter how tired she was, she was going shopping.

Theresa’s mind was on overdrive as she jumped in the shower. Trinity had shaken her up on Christmas Eve when she’d told her that each of the Four Ts lives would have been destroyed if they had never formed their group… like it was God ordained for them to be together or something. But with Trinity moving to North Carolina, Tina going solo and Tara being a junkie, Theresa just didn’t see how the Four Ts were meant to be. Maybe that was all in the past.

However, Theresa was still thankful for the past, because if Trinity was to be believed, if her girl hadn’t talked her out of having that abortion when she got pregnant with her first child and the father got ghost… Theresa would have died from that botched abortion. And if she had died, she wouldn’t have Mikey, Brielle or Tony Jr. The tabloids can say what they want about her having three kids by three different men, she didn’t care. All Theresa ever cared about was that her children were happy and had clothes on their backs and food in their bellies.

The water started to run cold in the shower so Theresa turned it off and got out. Her walk-in closet was next to her shower, so after toweling off, she slipped into a pair of stone wash jeans then sat on the extra cushiony bench in her closet while she threw a brown and tan turtle neck sweater on and then slid into her favorite brown leather boots. Nothing Theresa put on had a designer label attached to it… although she had many designer labels, it was never that which attracted her to the clothes or shoes she purchased. Theresa liked what she liked, and that was that.

She left her bedroom an headed down the hall to her daughter’s room. But Tony was already in the room, going through Brielle’s dressers. He handed her a yellow sweater and Brielle said, “No Daddy, I don’t like that one.”

Theresa’s eyes rolled to the back of her head and back. She’d let all of this daddy stuff slide on Christmas, but now that she was having dreams about him stealing her kids, enough was enough.

He wasn’t Brielle’s daddy, and she didn’t need him getting that twisted. “I don’t need your help with Brielle. I told Mikey to have you get Junior dressed,” she snapped at him.

Tony turned to face Theresa. He gave her that half grin that millions of viewers adored in the local commercials he’d been featured in back in a few years ago. “I thought I’d help you out.”

“I don’t need your help. Just get out of my daughter’s room.”

“There you go with that. I’m the only daddy Brielle knows, so how ‘bout that?” Tony slammed the dresser shut and stormed out of the room.

Tony could go head on with that, because Theresa didn’t even know how long he would continue playing daddy to TJ. Daddy’s had a way of disappearing after a job transfer. That’s the way her own father had played it. His job transferred him to another state when Theresa was thirteen. She hadn’t heard another word from him until she became famous and he needed a loan. She hoped he was still waiting on that Western Union to come through.

She took her daughter’s favorite dress out of the closet. “Here Honeybun, you can wear this today.”

“Thank you, Mommy. I love my beautiful dress.” Brielle twirled around the room while holding her dress against her chest as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

At that moment, Theresa wished that she were a kid again. Because it didn’t take much to make a kid happy. A dress here, smile there, a piece of cake and it’s all good. Theresa’s problems weren’t fixed so easily though. And Tony was a great big problem on the list that she didn’t need nor want to deal with at the moment. “Come on, smiley face, let’s get you dressed so we can head out on our annual shopping trip. And we’ll eat until our bellies are so stuffed that we roll back into the house.”

Brielle laughed.

But after the kids picked up a few items and they stood at the register to pay for them, all the laughter stopped. Theresa handed the check-out girl her Visa Black card and then turned her attention to the breaking news that was on the television above the check-out counter.

The reporter was saying, “Tara Owens, one of the lead singers in the group, The Four Ts was arrested on drug possession charges last night as she attempted to leave the Savannah night club with her entourage.”

“Ma’am, ma’am,” the clerk called to her.

Theresa pulled her eyes from the television back to the clerk, but her thoughts were all over the place. Because she just didn’t understand how Tara could get arrested on drug charges when they took that dope fend to the hospital on Christmas Eve to get her stomach pumped. Tara had promised them that she was going check into a rehab.

The clerk held out her card to her. “Do you have another card? This one didn’t go through.”

Theresa’s eye drifted back to the television and then immediately cut back to the clerk. “Excuse me?”

“Your card was declined.”

Tony went for his wallet. “I got it.”

But Theresa stopped him. “You don’t have to pay for my stuff. I’ll just use another card.” But as she opened her billfold she remembered the phone call from this morning. The bill collector telling her that the mortgage was past due.

She quickly paid for their purchases with her debt card, because she knew that she had about fifty thousand in her checking account. She then rushed the kids out of the mall before they could ask for anything else. There would be no gorging on scrumptious restaurant food. She picked up a party pack from McDonalds and went home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

“Thank God you answered the phone.” Theresa was practically screaming as Trinity picked up.

“Why wouldn’t I answer your call?”

“I’ve been blowing up Tina’s phone and she hasn’t bothered to answer. I guess she’s letting stardom go to her head already,” Theresa complained.

“I haven’t heard from Tina either, but she’s probably busy getting everything set up for her new solo career,” Trinity tried to sound reasonable.

But Theresa wasn’t in the mood for reasonable. “That’s all well and good, but my life and Tara’s life are over here falling apart, so I’d like to get somebody on the phone.”

“What’s wrong? I called Tara yesterday, she didn’t answer nor has she returned my call.”

“She’s in jail.”

“What do you mean, she’s in jail. Tara was supposed to be signing herself into a rehab.”

“Well, she was all over the local news being arrested outside of one of her hang-out spots. You know how she gets around Christmas. It’s like that girl goes numb every year.”

Trinity sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been praying for her.”

“Well, you need to tell God to hurry up, cause this girl needs help. And I can’t do it all by myself.”

“Im sorry that I’m not there. But you can still count on me to help in anyway that I can.”

“Good. Her bail is ten thousand and I’m going to need half of that because in case you haven’t found out yet, our accountant hasn’t been paying our bills and I’m not about to lose my house fooling around with Tara.”

After a sharp intake of breath Trinity said, “I knew that he had lost a lot of our money, but I had no idea that he wasn’t paying our bills. Because there should still be plenty in that account for bills.”

“If you knew about bad investments why didn’t you tell me?”

“Darrell told us about the investments after you left the meeting. And with everything that has happened since, I just forgot. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I think we need to call the police.”

“And a lawyer, because I plan to sue Calvin Warner and get back every dime he stole from me… I got kids to feed.”

“We never should have allowed Darrell to hire his cousin as our accountant.”

“I thought that was a bad idea from the get-go. But no one listened to me,” Theresa reminded Trinity.

“You were right,” Trinity admitted. “And I’m not going to let you spend money that you need for your children. I’ll wire the ten thousand to get Tara out of jail.”

Pride almost made Theresa refuse to accept all of the money for Tara’s bail. She wanted to contribute but Trinity didn’t have kids who depended on her for all their needs… Theresa did. “Thank you, girl. I appreciate that. While I’m trying to get my finances straightened out, I really can’t afford to part with no bail money.”

“Oh trust and believe, Ms. Tara is going to pay every cent of this money back. And I want you to make her agree to get to a rehab before you turn over my money.” Trinity was adamant on that. Rehab or stay in jail.

“I will drive that crackhead to the rehab myself.” Theresa and Trinity stayed on the phone a little longer, making arraignments when they hung up Theresa turned to find Tony’s bulky, muscular body standing in her doorway.

She had loved this man and had wanted to build a life with him. But the football groupies got in the way and then one injury after another on that football field cost Tony a multi-million dollar contract. He was now being traded to the Panthers for half of his original contract. Theresa could have dealt with the loss of the money… he was still earning more money than most could even dream of… but Tony hadn’t been true to her.

“I don’t get you,” he said as he walked into her bedroom as if he had been invited. “You’ll take all the help you can get from Trinity, but the moment I offer help, you act like I spit in your face or something.”

Theresa just couldn’t forgive him. He was like all the other men who invaded her life and left it far worse than when they first arrived. But she was bound and determined to protect her heart this time.

“Why won’t you believe a word I say anymore?” He advanced, standing at the foot of the bed as he continued, “I never touched that girl. Yes, she did come to my hotel room. But No, I didn’t let her in. I was trying to be a nice guy because of all the bad press I received after that fight. So I walked her back to the hotel lobby. She said she was hungry… I was hungry too, so we sat down for a bite to eat at the restaurant. End of story.”

Tony Junior had been eighteen months old when Theresa’s heart had been broken yet again by one more baby-daddy. But this one had her fooled. She had even bought a wedding gown because Tony convinced her that they were getting married and he was going to be a father to all her children. Then TMZ showed those pictures of Tony and that woman at his hotel. Theresa stopped believing in fairytales that day and vowed that no man would ever make her believe again.

“I don’t have time for this, Tony. I have to go get Tara out of jail and resurrect my career.”

~~~~

“Why didn’t you check into the rehab like you promised?” Theresa asked Tara during the ten minute visitation the guards had allowed.

“I meant to go,” Tara said, looking as if she was still coming down off her high. “But when I got home and started thinking about Christmas, I got depressed and didn’t want to be in the house alone.”

“Why do you have such a problem with Christmas? I just don’t get it.”

Tara folded her arms across her chest as she seemed to shrink into herself. Her mouth opened and she mumbled, “It never lives up to it’s promises. Then her eyes widened as if she had revealed too much. “Just forget it,” she said. Christmas isn’t the problem. I messed up, like I always do.”

“All I know is, Trinity had some sort of premonition that you were going to be dead by Christmas morning, so me, Trinity and even Tina took your sorry self to the hospital to get your stomach pumped. Then you get yourself arrested the day after Christmas, and you just want me to forget about all of this?”

“Nobody can help me, Theresa. Don’t you know that by now?”

“Oh, well then let me get out of here and take the bail money with me.” Theresa stood up, pushed in her chair. “See you when I see you.”

“Wait.” Tara held a hand out. “You’re not going to leave me here. I can’t stay in jail.”

“I thought you didn’t want help?” Theresa asked with a questioning glance.

“I don’t want to stay here.”

“Well here’s the deal.” Theresa leaned against her chair as she explained how things were going to be. “Trinity is loaning you the money for your bail on one condition.”

“I can pay her back. That’s not a problem.”

Tara had no clue that their accountant had stopped paying their bills and Theresa wasn’t about to tell her… not yet anyway. “That’s not the condition. Your paying back the loan is a given. But you won’t be getting this bail money unless you let me drive you to a rehab center.”

“I have a few appointments coming up in the next few weeks, but after that I’ll sign myself into rehab, I promise.”

Theresa shook her head. “It’s now or never.”

~~~~

Tony was in the driver’s seat, Theresa was in the passenger seat while Tara stretched out in the back of Tony’s Range Rover and sulked. “You wrong for this, Theresa. And you know you wrong.”

“Shut up, girl. I’m just finishing the job of saving your life that we all started on Christmas Eve.”

“What if I don’t care about saving my life? What if I just want to be free to be me?”

Theresa rolled her eyes and was about to let Tara have it when Tony spoke up.

“If that was the case you wouldn’t be in my back seat now. Nobody held a gun to your head and forced you to take this ride with us.”

“Theresa said she wouldn’t post my bail if I didn’t go to rehab.”

“Yeah, but once your bail was posted, you could have called a cab instead of getting in my SUV. But you didn’t.” Tony glanced in the rearview mirror as he said, “You know what I think?”

Tara crossed her arms around her chest and leaned into the plush leather seat.

“I think you want help,” Tony answered, and even though Tara wasn’t trying to be apart of the conversation, he kept on going. “I kind of identify with what you’re going through, because when I was being a knuckle head in college… partying too much and running too many women, my coach tried to help me but I wouldn’t listen… at first.”

Theresa side eyed him, when he mentioned all the women he’d been running in college, because she didn’t think that was just an issue of his past. But Tony paid her no mind and kept on talking.

“Coach told him that my behavior off the field was going to keep me from getting drafted. I ignored him, because coming into my Sophomore year my agent told me that I was going to be a top draft pick.”

Tara snapped her finger as she remembered something. “Didn’t you get arrested for driving under the influence when you were in college?”

Tony nodded. “I was drunk and hyped up on weed and pills that night. I’m lucky I didn’t kill myself before that cop pulled me over. But that clenched it. My name wasn’t called in the draft and I worked like a dog my Junior year so that I could be reconsidered.”

“You got drafted, so it all worked out for you, right?” Tara didn’t see the point of the story.

“I put the drugs and the booze down and got focused. That’s the only reason I got drafted, but my antics cost me big time. Because I was originally slated to go in the top five of the first round. I ended up bringing up the rear of the first round and was never looked at as a go-to guy again.”

Theresa had never heard Tony express his being a second-string tight-end/running back as a problem of his own making. Maybe the boy was finally becoming a man… one that her son could actually learn something from.

“All I wanted to do was sing,” Tara was saying. “Every since I was a kid, no matter how many issues I was dealing with… put a mic in my hand and I was in heaven. But the group has busted up and our label won’t give us another contract. So what reason do I have to get clean?”

“Let’s face fact, okay.” Theresa turned toward Tara. “Our manager let his stupid cousin, our accountant steal our money, so we are hit. But with your voice and my song writing ability. I think we could put something together so that we can at least make a living.”

“You really think Calvin stole our money? Darrell claimed he just made some bad investments.”

“Trust me, Tara. The money is gone. I haven’t been able to get hold of Clavin, but he has stopped paying our bills.”

“What!”

“You heard me. Why do you think I had to get your bail money from Trinity? All I have to my name right now is fifty thou and I got to make sure I keep a roof over my kids heads until I can figure some things out.”

"I might not have kids, but I still need a roof over my head,” Tara told her.

“Then go get clean and when you get out, you and I can get started making our brand of music.”

Tara was silent as she seemed to think about their situation for a long moment. Then she put a hand on Theresa’s shoulder and said, “I won’t let you down. By this time next year, we will be making music.”

And there it was, another promise for Christmas, but would this one come to pass?

 

 

 

 

 

6

When they arrived home that night. Tony turned off the car and turned to face Theresa. He put her hand in his as he said, “I know you think I’m still that same stupid college boy that messed up his life with women and booze. But I’m not that guy anymore.”

“Talk is cheap, Tony. But actions speak louder than any words you could ever say. And I saw you with that girl with my own eyes.”

“You saw what TMZ wanted you to see. But I never touched her. I wouldn’t do you like that. I meant every word when I said that I love you. It’s with all my heart, baby. I want us to be together. For us to be a family just as we’ve been planning.”

Theresa lowered her head, but she hadn’t flat out said no yet, so Tony kept going. “I want you and the kids to move to North Carolina with me. We can go down to the courthouse and get married before I leave town.”

Tears were in her eyes as she faced him. This man had been her everything… all she had wanted. She loved him with every part of her heart. But could she trust their love. “Look, Tony-.”

“Don’t cry,” he interrupted as he wiped the tears from her face. They stared into each others eyes for a long moment. Then Tony lowered his head as he inched closer and closer to Theresa. Before either of them knew what was happening, their lips were touching. First softly, as if exploring, getting reacquainted. Then it was as if Tony had lost himself in the comfort of Theresa’s lips as the kiss became more demanding… more endearing. He wanted it to last forever… wanted them to last forever.

But Theresa broke free, shook her head wildly as if trying to shake something loose. She got out of the SUV as fast as she could and then ran into the house.

~~~~

“I don’t know what y’all want from me,” Tara screamed at the moderator of this weeks group session. “I mean, it seems like y’all get off on making people cry and whine about the horrible things that lead them to becoming dope-heads. But that’s not me… I don’t cry about life.”

“No one is asking you to cry,” Rance Edwards, the group moderator said as he leaned forward and added, “But we do want you to be real with yourself. That’s the only way you’re going to make any kind of lasting progress.”

“What do you know about it?” Tara didn’t personally know Rance, but she knew who he was. A straight-laced choir boy, who spends his Friday nights in prayer service rather than in the real world.

“Okay, you don’t think I’ve ever dealt with any pain in my life or had any addictions to overcome… I get that. But it doesn’t make it true.”

“Then what is true? Why are you even here?” Fredia, whose main addiction was meth, with crack being a close second asked.

“Leave the man alone, Fredia, he’s a Christian so he’s doing his charity work. Ain’t that right, Rance,” one of the guys in the group said.

“Yes, I am a Christian. But you all are much more to me than charity work. I know how it feels to be so low that you have no idea how you’ll ever get up again… but trust me when I say, you will get back up again.”

“Easy for you to say?” Tara scoffed. “You’re clean and sober. The rest of us are trying to get where you been all of your life.”

Rance’s eyes filled with regret as he admitted. “I haven’t always been sober, Tara. One night of drinking cost my family dearly. I still haven’t totally forgiven myself for that. But I have learned that I have to move forward and allow God’s forgiveness to be enough for me.”

Tara wanted to know what Rance had done to his family. But she recognized the pain in his eyes and couldn’t bring herself to get in his business. Especially since she didn’t want anyone all up in her business.

The session went on for twenty more minutes. Tara listened as others in the groups spilled their guts and managing to blame everyone but themselves for their problems. It was all just a big waste of time and Tara was the first to jump out of her seat when the session was over. All she wanted to do was get to her room and detox from every awful thing she’d been forced to listen to.

But Rance wasn’t about to let her get away that easy. He called out to her. Tara had half a mind to act like she didn’t hear him. But he called her again. Turning around to face him, Tara noticed Rance’s eyes again. But this time they weren’t filled with pain… more like something akin to pity. “I don’t need your pity. I have accomplished way more in my career than you ever have as some gospel singer.” Her hands were on her hips as she now stood in front of him.

Rance held up a hand. “Hey, I’m not trying to fight with you. Your group has done great things for the music industry. And I’m sure you’ve sold more CDs than I have. But I don’t count my success by CD sales.”

She didn’t get Rance Edwards at all. In the music industry an artist rose and fell based on sales number. But here he was talking about his success wasn’t based on the numbers. She wanted to know how he could be so secure with himself, whether the sales numbers were right or not. But she wasn’t going to ask. For some reason, she felt that the answer to that question would alter her world view more than she was prepared for it to be altered. So she folded her arms across her chest and barked, “What do you want?”

“Just wanted to know if you were free for lunch.”

~~~~

“Okay, all my stuff is packed so I’m about to head out,” Tony told Theresa.

She turned from the kitchen sink and looked at him, wishing that things were different… that he didn’t have to go and that she could finally have the family that she always wanted. But Theresa had had enough of men promising her roses and bringing nothing but problems. “Have a safe flight and make sure you call TJ when you get there.” TJ was getting ready to join her other two children in the no-daddy having category.

“I’m going to call, but I’d like to speak to Mikey and Brielle too. They depend on me to be around just as much as TJ does.”

“They don’t need false hope, Tony. leave my kids alone and just deal with the one that actually belongs to you. Besides, you’ll be so far away that you’ll forget all about us in no time.”

Tony picked up a plastic cup, crushed it in his hand and then threw it against the wall. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he practiced inhaling and exhaling. When his nostrils stopped flaring he said, “You ain’t right, Theresa. I been here for these kids. I’m the only daddy Brielle has ever known and Mikey calls me daddy too. The only time he doesn’t is when you start reminding him that I’m not his father. But you keep forgetting two simple facts… I love these kids and they love me too. The distance don’t matter… it don’t change a thing.” With that, he picked up his bags and stalked out the door.

Tears floated around Theresa’s eyes as she mumbled, “You should have loved their mother better. Then maybe the distance wouldn’t matter so much.” When Tony was playing ball in San Diego and only two to three hours away, she would take the kids down to his place and they would hang out with him for weeks on end. Then Tony would stay in Los Angeles with them during the offseason or when he was rehabbing due to injury. But North Carolina was too far and with the state of their relationship being what it was, Theresa wouldn’t have visited him anyway.

Since school was out for the holidays, Tony had taken the kids to day camp before coming back to the house to pack up his things. TJ had eaten breakfast with the kids and then promptly went back to sleep. Theresa was free to go into her office and work on some lyrics. She wanted to have the music ready for when Tara got out of rehab so they could immediately get into the studio. Theresa hoped that having a project to work on would be enough motivation to keep that girl clean.

Actually, she didn’t just hope that Tara stayed clean, she needed her to stay clean because her voice would carry their new group. Theresa could sing, she knew that for certain. How many times had she brought the entire congregation to their feet during Sunday service. But she had been a child then, singing in front of the church crowd, who listen more for the heart of God in the singer’s voice, than anything else. Out here in the real world, every note and tone is critiqued and criticized.

She had always come in fourth when it came to who was the best singer in their group. But that was okay with Theresa because when it was about writing the lyrics, she came in first. And right now she wanted to get Tony off her mind and just write. But since he wouldn’t evacuate the premises, Theresa decided she would use her heartache to further her career. As her mind kept drifting back to the moment Tony walked out on her. She put pen to paper and wrote…

Should have loved me better, the way I loved you… should have loved me better, now I’ve found someone new.

She smiled at the triumphant feeling she got when the lyrics started flowing. But then sadness overtook her as she realized she had just wrote a lie. Because she didn’t have someone new, nor did she want anyone else. Theresa had thought she was going to build a life with Tony, but it hadn’t worked out, just like none of her other so-called loves had worked out. When was she ever going to get it right? And why couldn’t she find a love that she could depend on?

Looking around at the four walls in her office, Theresa felt stuck. Her kids needed a she-ro, but Theresa felt as if all her powers had been stripped. She finally directed her eyes upward as she wondered at Trinity’s transformation. Could God really change a person so radically? Trinity had been a drinker and a party girl, but now all she talks about was living for the Lord and how happy she was now that she’s no longer a fall down drunk.

When Trinity was dealing with alcoholism, she turned to God and He worked it out for her. Maybe there was something to what the old folks used to sing at church, ‘You Can Depend on God’. She had just been a kid, but Theresa always wondered how they knew for sure that God could be depended on.

Then suddenly the answer came to her. The old folks knew they could depend on God because He had shown up for them in their time of need; just as God had shown up mightily for Trinity.

Another old-school song came to mind, and Theresa began singing, “If I ever needed the Lord, sure do need Him, now, right now.”

Theresa lifted her head, preparing to address this mysterious God that she hadn’t thought much about in years. Yes, she had honored God when she decided not to have an abortion all those years ago. And Theresa was thankful for Mikey, Brielle and TJ. She would be just as thankful for the child she now carried. And even though she didn’t have her children in the way God would have wanted, she had yet and still honored God by keeping them. But now she needed more than simply honoring God, she needed to know God.

“I don’t really know how to pray, Lord. All I know is that You helped Trinity when her life was falling apart. And I desperately need You to do the same for me.” Trying to talk her mind out of what her heart was feeling, Theresa reminded herself that had Trinity received some sort of Christmas miracle and it was now three days past Christmas. But wasn’t it still the Christmas season? Weren’t people still in the season of giving? So, maybe God was too.

Continuing to look heavenward, Theresa kept on talking to God. “My heart is broken, Lord. I truly loved Tony. If I have to move on with my life, then please make it obvious, even to me. But if Tony is the man You have for me to spend the rest of my life with, then show me some sort of sign or something.

“I need a miracle, Lord. Turn my life around, because what I’m doing just isn’t working. Heal my heart and help me find a way to support my children while we search for our thieving accountant… Okay, I guess that’s it. Thank You for listening. Oh, and I promise to spend time talking to You more.” Theresa had already decided that prayer time would be a New Year’s resolution for her and her family.

 

 

 

 

 

7

“When you invited me to lunch, I thought you were going to get me out of this place. But then you bring me to this God-awful cafeteria. I don’t know whether to be insulted or to throw my mash potatoes in your face.”

The sad truth of the matter was, that if her accountant kept messing up their money, she would probably be eating a lot more mash potatoes. Or maybe she’d have to file bankruptcy and then go on reality TV just to pay the bills like Toni Braxton… But unlike Toni Braxton, Tara’s money hadn’t been spent on Faberge eggs or thousand count sheets and dishes. The money that her manager hadn’t mishandled, Tara had blown on drugs.

It was that thought that kept her grounded. Because if all of her money had been lost due to someone else’s negligence, Tara probably would be looking for a window to throw herself out of rather than doing this stint in rehab.

Rance leaned back in his chair and smiled at Tara. “You talk big, but you’re not so tough, are you?”

“I wish I was tough. Would have changed a lot of things if I had been tougher.”

“Nothing that happened, was your fault. You do know that right?”

Shaking her head, she told him, “You don’t know anything about it.”

“I know that you were just a kid.”

Tara looked around as if expecting to see someone behind her. But when the person she was looking for wasn’t there. She turned back to Rance. “Whose been telling you my business? You’re just suppose to moderate our group meetings, not go snooping around, investigating us like we’re some kind of criminals.”

“Relax Tara. I haven’t been snooping into your business. While we were in group, God revealed to me that your struggle began when you were a child.” He lifted a hand to silence her when she opened her mouth to respond. “Now, I don’t know what you went through as a child, but I have to believe that it wasn’t you’re fault. Am I right or not?”

Tara wasn’t hungry anymore. She pushed her plate away and stood up. “Mind your own business.” She left the cafeteria without so much as a backward glance.

Slamming the door, once she had entered her room, Tara kicked the sofa and punch the seat cushion. She was so angry. Rance had tricked her into having lunch with him just so he could pry into things that didn’t concern him. It was none of his business and none of anyone else’s business. Tar threw open the closet door and grabbed her suitcase. It was time to blow this joint. She hadn’t done drugs in a few days, so she was good. And anyway, drugs didn’t have a hold on her, she could quit anytime she wanted.

She bent down and pulled her shoes from under the bed. Tara put three pairs of hills in her suitcase and then laced up her teal and blue, Curry Two sneakers and was ready to bounce when her cell phone rang. One look at the caller ID and Tara knew she was in trouble. She wanted to just ignore the call and keep moving toward the exit. But just as her best friend since childhood had never ignored any of her cries for help, Tara could never ignore Trinity. Especially now since they were so many miles apart from each other.

She let go of her suitcase, plopped down on the bed and answered the phone. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, just thought I’d check on you… see how the rehab is going so far.”

I hate it, Tara wanted to scream. But she couldn’t. Trinity had beaten her alcohol addiction. So, Tara didn’t want Trinity thinking that she was having problems kicking her addiction. “I just got out of group. Then I went to lunch with Rance Edwards.” She left out the part about how that lunch caused her to pack her bags so she could leave this treatment facility. But Tara was never a fan of telling all her business. Some things need to be left, where you left them. That was her motto, and the reason why Rance had rubbed her the wrong way.

“Rance Edwards is one of the most sought after gospel singers in the industry today. I can’t believe he’s dealing with substance abuse issues.”

“Why can’t Rance Edwards have a substance abuse problem? You and I have one… we’re all in the music business. Whether it’s gospel or R & B, there’s still a lot of stress to deal with.”

“I’m going to correct you on one thing,” Trinity told her. “I did have a substance abuse problem and my drug of choice was alcohol, but God delivered me. I no longer have a desire for the taste of alcohol, I am free from all of that and you can be too… and so can Rance.”

“Are you getting ready to pray for us or something?” Tara didn’t like the way Trinity was sounding. This was not the same ride-or-die chick she came out to California with.

“That’s a good idea, Tara. Why don’t you and I pray right now and then I’ll pray for Rance when we hang up.”

Tara started laughing. “I was just messing with you, Trinity. Rance is not a patient at the rehab. He moderated our group session. I guess that was his good deed for the day or something.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ve always had respect for Rance. And I love his music. It’s so upbeat and yet it still ministers to the soul.”

Tara was surprised that Trinity knew so much about Rance Edwards. It wasn’t like he ran in the same circles with them. But lately it seemed like Trinity was going in a different direction and Tara didn’t know how she felt about that. “When are you coming back to Cali? I miss you, girl.”

“The thing is… I don’t think I’m coming back,” Trinity told her friend honestly.

“Theresa said you wouldn’t be coming back. But I didn’t think she knew what she was talking about. How can you do this to me?” Tara exploded out of her seat. She started pacing the floor.

“I’m finally where God wants me to be, Tara. I can’t just turn my back on Him again.”

“This is a joke, right? You think I don’t know that you’re down there with Jarod Hartland. And all this God stuff you’re talking is just so you can convince him that you’re no longer a party girl.”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Tara. You were too stoned to hear anything I had to say on Christmas Eve, but this is for real. I have re-dedicated my life to the Lord. And although I would love for Jarod to be a part of my life, my relationship with the Lord does not concern him.”

Trinity was talking, but Tara was so angry that she hadn’t even processed Trinity’s comments about having a relationship with the Lord, she was only focused on what this meant for her. “So why am I even here if the group isn’t getting back together?”

Sounding as calm as a cop, talking a lunatic down from a ledge, Trinity responded, “Hon, you knew that we weren’t getting back together when Tina decided on a solo career. And I’m still praying, seeking the Lord on what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life.”

“Then why is Theresa writing music for us? You do know that she won’t be able to keep a roof over her kids head if we don’t get another recording deal?”

“I didn’t know Theresa was writing music. She didn’t tell me.”

“Maybe that’s because she knows how selfish you are. And that it wouldn’t matter to you what happened to her and the kids, because you’re too busy seeking the Lord to worry about any of us.”

“That’s not true, Tara and you know it.”

Throwing up her hands as she glanced at her suitcase, Tara said, “Whatever. I’m done talking about it. And I’m done with this rehab. I’m going home.”

Trinity practically screamed into the phone. “Please don’t do that. You have a lot of unresolved issues that need to be dealt with so you can get on with your life.”

“I’m resolving one of my issues right now. Don’t call me anymore, Trinity. This friendship is over.” With that Tara hit the end button and then blocked her best friend’s number. She then picked up her suitcase and bounced.

~~~~

“Have you heard from Tara,” Trinity said as she rushed past Theresa. “She’s not taking my calls and her counselor confirmed that she left the rehab last night.”

“Hello to you, too.” Theresa closed the door behind Trinity and the two headed to Theresa’s office.

The clock on the wall in her office indicated that it was six in the morning. She had been up since five, trying to finish a song that had been tugging on her heart since she’d prayed, asking God for help.

“I had no idea that she left the rehab. I’ve been so busy working on these songs that I haven’t had a chance to reach out to her.”

“I talked to her the other day. She got really upset when I told her that I’m coming back to California. She said their was no reason for her to stay clean and that she was leaving the rehab.”

Theresa shook her head, then as her stomach growled she asked Trinity, “Are you hungry?”

“It’s too early for me to eat breakfast.”

“Well, I’ll be right back. I’m starving.” Theresa rushed into the kitchen, pulled a cup of chocolate pudding out of the fridge, sliced some bananas into it, then topped it off with whip cream. As she walked back into her office, happily eating her snack, Theresa asked, “What is Tara’s problem? You’ve known her a long time, so please tell me why she freaks out around Christmas time every year?”

Trinity hesitated a moment, but then she decided that secrets didn’t help anybody. “I know you care about Tara, or you wouldn’t be trying to help her, so I’m going to tell you about the one thing in her life that she has never been able to let go… when Tara was ten, she begged her grandmother to buy a real Christmas tree. Her mother used the same old fake tree every year, and Tara just wanted to know what it was like to smell a real tree inside the house.

“Her grandmother bought the tree, and Tara and her mother would drive her over to her grandmother’s ever day, so she could water the tree and sweep up the pine needles as they fell to the floor. But she missed a couple of days because of choir practice. We were getting ready for a big Christmas production that year…. anyway, when Tara and her mother went to the grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve, they discovered that the house was on fire and her grandmother died.

“Tara has always blamed herself, no matter how many people told her that it was not her fault.”

“I’ve never heard her talk about her grandmother,” Theresa said, while licking the chocolate off of her spoon.

“It’s that good, huh?” Trinity said as she watched Theresa devour her pudding.

“I wish I had another one,” Theresa admitted as she wiped the chocolate from the bottom of the cup and then licked it off of her fingers.

“You do know that you don’t like chocolate, right?”

“Every now and then I get a taste for Chocolate pudding. I can’t explain it… that’s just the way it is,” Theresa said as she sat the cup down and looked away.

“The only time I’ve known you to eat chocolate pudding like that is…” Trinity put her hand to her mouth as her eyes widened. “You’re not… Oh my God. Whose the daddy?”

“What do you mean, ‘whose the daddy?” Okay, maybe she did have three kids by three different men, but Theresa was highly offended that Trinity thought she would add a fourth daddy to the mix.

“I mean… w-well. You did break up with Tony. So, do you have a new boyfriend or what?”

Theresa’s phone rang. She didn’t care who was on the other line. She was going to answer just so she could avoid Trinity’s inquisition. But the minute she heard Tony’s voice, she was tempted to hang the phone back up.

“Turn on TMZ,” he shouted.

She frowned into the phone. Theresa hadn’t watched TMZ since she caught that story about Tony and the mystery woman at his hotel. “I don’t watch that show.”

“Please Theresa, just do this for me. I’m begging you.”

Putting a hand over the phone, Theresa turned to Trinity. “It’s Tony. He wants me to see something on TMZ. Can you grab that remote and find the channel?” She then went back to her conversation with Tony. “I don’t know what you want me to see on that crazy show, but I’m telling you right now, if this is another humiliation, I will never speak to you again in life.”

“I didn’t humiliate you the first time. I tried to honor our relationship by not letting that woman into my hotel room, but you wouldn’t believe me. So, just sit there and watch the next segment that’s coming up on TMZ and call me back when you’re ready to talk.”

Tony hung up and Theresa was left staring at the phone, astonished that he would just hang up on her. But she didn’t have much time to dwell on it. Because Harvey Levin was saying, “Okay a couple months ago we told you about this woman that was seen with Tony Black, the running back for the San Diego Chargers at that time. Tony has since been traded to the Carolina Panthers, and we owe him a big apology.

“For one thing,” Harvey continued, “We received the pictures we used from the mystery woman herself. And now we know that it was all part of some elaborate extortion plot.”

“And how do we know that,” his co-anchor said, as a picture of a woman in handcuffs, getting into the back of a police car flashed on the screen. “Because this is Alisha Walker, the same woman who sent us those pictures of Tony Black. But she is also the same woman who is being arrested for having pictures taken of her encounter with one of the Los Angeles Lakers and then trying to extort money from him. She told him that if she didn’t get the money, the pictures would go to his wife.”

Harvey Levin added, “Alisha had pictures of this baller in the nude and everything, We’re guessing that she didn’t get anywhere near Tony Black’s bedroom, or we would have received those pictures from her as well. So, Tony, please accept our apology.”

 

By the time the segment ended, Theresa was shaking as tears flowed down her face like a river. Trinity handed her some tissue, but the tears kept coming.

“Why are you so upset. This is good news, Theresa. Tony didn’t cheat on you.”

“B-but I-I put him out. And I’m pregnant… you were right about that,” Theresa blurted.

Trinity sat down next to her friend and put her arm around the girl. They hugged, and cried together until they were all cried out. When they pulled apart, and both women were wiping their eyes, Trinity asked, “So, the baby is Tony’s?”

“Of course it’s Tony’s baby. That you would think I’d go out and get a fourth baby-daddy, just shows how little you must think of me.” Theresa had prayed, asking God to turn her life around, but she was still angry at the way things had turned out and willing to take her anger out on Trinity and anyone else who got in her way.

“I’m sorry that I assumed the worst. But you and Tony broke up, so I didn’t know what else to think.”

Dotting at her eyes with the tissue, Theresa said, “No, I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t be taking anything out on you, when I’m the one who messed up… again, as usual.”

“But Tony wants to marry you. So, just make up with him and you’ll finally have the family you’ve been searching for every since your dad left you and your mom.”

Theresa smiled at the truth in Trinity’s statement. “I forgot that I told you about my dad. But Tony might not want to marry me anymore, especially after he finds out that I’ve been hiding this pregnancy from him.” She shook her head. “And to think that I prayed and asked God to turn my problems around just like He turned yours around. But nothing magical happened for me.”

“What about what we just saw on TMZ? That girl getting arrested and the truth coming out may have been your magical moment. It just may be time for you to drop your pride and apologize to Tony like those God-awful people over at TMZ did.”

“What if he doesn’t want to hear from me?” Theresa sounded scared. Because she was. What if she had lost her last chance to be a family with a man who truly loved her and her children?

“He must want some kind of reaction from you, or why else would he have told you to watch the show?”

A smile began to creep across Theresa’s face. She asked Trinity, “When are you going back to Charlotte?”

“I was hoping to fly back out in the morning. I’d like to attend New Year’s Eve service at my church.”

“Do you think that I could attend that service with you?”

Trinity wrapped her arms around Theresa again. “Oh my God, yes! I’m so happy for you and Tony. Now if only I could knock some since into Tara’s head, then I would say that this has been the best Christmas season in my lifetime.”

Theresa stood up. “Let me go fix some breakfast for my kids and then I’ll help you knock some since into Tara’s head.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

Theresa had the bowls in place as the kids stormed into the kitchen, ready to eat. But as Brielle took her seat and looked into her bowl, she frowned as she complained, “Oatmeal, again?”

“Better oatmeal than no meal at all,” Theresa mimicked the same words her grandmother used to tell her when she was a kid, complaining about the old faithful oatmeal that always found its way to the breakfast table. Back then Theresa didn’t understand how hard it was to keep food on the table for a growing family. If her grandmother was still alive she would thank the old girl for all those cooking lessons… and all the lessons on stretching meals. They just might come in handy right about now.

TJ had climbed into his high chair and started beating the table, saying, “Oatmeal, oatmeal.”

Smiling, Theresa handed TJ’s bowl to Mikey. “Take that to your brother. At least somebody appreciates the food around here.”

Mikey put the bowl down in front of his brother. As he headed back to the table, he told his mother, “I like your oatmeal. But I like the oatmeal cookies you make the best. Those things should be packaged and sold.”

“If these songs I’m writing don’t pan out. I just may have to package some cookies and sell them,” Theresa said jokingly.

“If we can get Tara on the straight and narrow, then hopefully, your songs will hit the mark,” Trinity said as she sipped on her hot green tea.

Theresa put the oatmeal pot back on the stove and sat down in front of Trinity. “The songs I’m writing aren’t for Tara.”

“Well, that’s what she thinks. She told me that you were busy writing songs for the group. That’s why she got so mad when I told her I wasn’t coming back. I just don’t have it in me to sing right now.”

“You don’t have it in you to sing R&B,” Theresa corrected. “But since I prayed to the Lord the other day, all I’ve been writing is gospel lyrics. And I believe the Lord wants you to sing them.”

“Me, singing gospel music? That’s crazy.”

“Why is it crazy?” Theresa asked. “Aren’t you a Christian now? Don’t you love the Lord just as much as any other Christian?”

“Yes, I’m a Christian and of course I love the Lord. But it wasn’t too long ago that I was falling down drunk in front of millions of viewers during that award show. People haven’t forgotten about that. Nobody would take me seriously as a gospel singer.”

“I would, Auntie Trinity,” Mikey said. “I love your voice no matter what you’re singing.”

“That’s because you love me.” She went over to him and pinched his cheeks.

“You need to pray about this, girl. I understand your not wanting to sing R&B anymore, but do you really think that God is done using that beautiful voice of yours?”

Trinity hesitated a moment as if weighing Theresa’s words, then she said, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask. Now let’s go see if we can talk some sense into Tara.”

~~~~

Trinity used the key Tara had given her to open the front door.

Theresa laughed as they stepped inside of Tara’s house. “I’m surprised that she didn’t change the locks after the last time we swooped down on her.”

“Me too,” Trinity said. As they headed upstairs, Trinity started hollering, “Tara, girl are you in here?”

“We saw your car in the garage, so don’t act like you don’t hear us,” Theresa yelled.

When they still didn’t get a response Trinity tried open Tara’s bedroom door, but it was locked. Theresa banged on the door… still no response.

“I’ll take care of this,” Theresa declared as she went into the guest bedroom and came back with a wire hanger. She straightened the hook side of the hanger and then went to work on Tara’s doorknob.

“I have never been able to get a hanger to work. I was once locked out of my bathroom for a week. Tried a hanger three times, and then gave up and called a locksmith,” Trinity said as the lock popped and Theresa pushed open the door.

Tara was stretched out on her back atop her king size bed. She was dressed ready to roll, as if she had come in the house from whatever hole she’d been in and instead of showering and putting on PJs, she just fell on the bed and went to sleep.

Shaking her head at the sight, Theresa said, “I just wonder what kind of damage the girl has done to her liver.”

“Let’s pray that she gets some help before too much damage has been done.” Trinity kicked the bed, hoping the noise would wake Tara. When it didn’t, she started shaking her.

Theresa went into the bathroom filled a cup with cold water, and then poured it on Tara’s head.

“What-the-what!” Tara exclaimed as she jumped out of bed.

“What-the-what is right,” Theresa said. “Because we don’t understand why you are stretched out in this bed, rather than at that rehab.”

“Ah man, why won’t y’all just let it go,” Tara said as she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and sat down on her bed.

“Why won’t you just let it go?” Trinity asked as she sat down next to Tara. “You were only ten years old. It wasn’t your fault.”

Tara’s eyes were bloodshot and she smelled of cigarettes and weed. She put her hand under her chin and slumped her shoulders. “That’s what everybody keeps telling me.”

Theresa got down on her knees in front of Tara. She grabbed hold of the girl’s shoulders and turned Tara to face her. “I feel your pain, Tara. Because I loved my grandmother dearly also. She taught me how to be a survivor and for that I am forever grateful. But if I hadn’t been born she probably would have lived to be ninety-five rather than just eighty-five.”

Bloodshot eyes or not, Tara’s ears perked up. “Why do you say that?”

“Because my grandmother broke her hip after getting out of bed to check on me. I had gone with a group of friend to see a scary movie. Then later that night I had a nightmare. I guess I had been screaming at the top of my lungs. My mother was out on a date with some guy. So, granny came to check on me. But when she tried to go back to bed, she fell.

“My grandmother didn’t die that night. She had surgery and lived for a few months after. But it was the physical therapy that her heart couldn’t take. Anyway, one night during one of my visits, I was crying and feeling just awful because of the pain she was in. But my grandmother told me not to shed another tear over what happened. She told me point blank that it wasn’t my fault and that she had slipped on a piece of ice that she had spilled earlier on the kitchen floor and forgot to pick it up. She also told me that I was the greatest joy of her life and that she was thankful for everyday she spent with me.

“After that, I stopped crying and just smiled every time I thought about my grandmother. Even after she died, I chose to remember all the wonderful moments we spent together.”

Tara was sobbing as Theresa finished her story. Trinity handed her some tissue and she wiped her face and then blew her nose. She then looked at her friends as she told them, “After my grandmother died in that fire, my mother said, ‘now do you see why I don’t like real Christmas trees… they kill people’.”

“Sweetie, your mom was grieving too. I’m sure she never meant to imply that you had anything to do with your grandmother’s death,” Trinity told her.

“Yes she did, that woman blamed me for everything. Why do you think I couldn’t wait to get away from her. I moved as far as I could get, but she’s still in my head.”

“Then take her out of your head,” Theresa demanded.

“How?” Tara wiped at a few more tears.

“Answer this for me,” Theresa began. “If your grandmother had lived long enough to talk to you, like my grandmother did, what do you think she would have said?”

Tara had never considered how her grandmother might have felt about the incident. All these years she had only focused on her mother’s hurtful words. But the beginnings of a smile appeared on Tara’s face as she said, “My grandmother would have told me how much loved having me in her life and that she would have bought a thousand real Christmas trees if that would have made me happy.”

“And do you think she blamed you for what happened?” Trinity asked.

Tara shook her head. “No, Nana never would have blamed me. Not in a million years.”

“One last question,” Theresa said, hoping and praying that Tara was finally ready to take action to save her own life. “Do you think your grandmother would be proud of what you have become? Would she want you to kill yourself like this?”

Tara’s shoulder’s shook as more tears erupted from a place way down deep. Her heart had been crushed at a young age, but she was twenty-nine now and way past the age of understanding. “All these years, I’ve been trying to get back at my mother for not loving me the way I thought she should have loved me. But instead of getting back at her, I’ve been letting my grandmother down… destroying any type of legacy our family could leave behind.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” Theresa and Trinity both asked at the same time.

After a long silent moment, Tara looked them both in the eye and said, “I’m going back to rehab.

 

 

 

9

Theresa was still smiling as they boarded the plane headed to Charlotte. Tara was back at the rehab and she and Trinity were confident that she was going to go the distance this time. Her grandmother was counting on her, and Tara wasn’t about to let Nana down.

The kids were just excited as she was, but for a different reason. “You really mean it, mom? We’re going to spend the night at dad’s house?” Mikey questioned.

“You all can spend the night with your dad. I’m going to hang out with Trinity.” Since praying and asking the Lord to turn her life around, Theresa didn’t feel comfortable with even the thought of shacking up with any man that wasn’t her husband. But it did feel right and true to call Tony ‘daddy’. She prayed that he still wanted to be daddy to all of her children and that her actions hadn’t run him away.

“You ready to do this?” Trinity asked as they buckled up and prepared for take off.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not if you truly want the family that you’ve always craved,” Trinity told her as she put her hand in her, before adding, “Let’s pray.”

~~~~

Tony picked them up from the airport. He dropped Trinity off at her parent’s and took Theresa’s bag into the house, while Theresa hugged Mr. and Mrs. Thomas. “It has been way too long since we’ve seen each other.”

“California is just too much for us,” Margie, Trinity’s mom told her.

Then Walter, Trinity’s dad said, “But our door is always open for any friend of Trinity’s. So, you don’t have to be lonesome for us. Just visit more often.”

“I just might take you up on that.” Theresa hoped that Tony would give her plenty of reasons to visit North Carolina.

She got back in the car with Tony and the kids and practically held her breath the entire drive. Tony had a condo, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It wasn’t some over the top place that people expect millionaire football players to have. It was homey and cozy just like Tony. “There’s no color on the walls, are you just renting this place?” Theresa asked while looking around.

“I always rent. You know that.”

“Yeah, but why do you rent when you could easily buy a home three times the size of this condo?”

“I had planned to buy, but then the only woman I ever wanted to share a home with gave back my ring.” His eyes bore into her with every word, then he turned to the kids. “Come on, let me show you all your rooms. Mikey, you and TJ will have to share. Is that okay?”

“I don’t mind, Dad. I’m just glad we get to spend time with you,” Mikey said as he grabbed hold of Tony’s hand as they walked toward the bedrooms.

Theresa tried to hold back the tears but it was no use. Her hormones were raging and seeing Tony treat Mikey like he was just as important as TJ to him totally shook her. And made her feel like the fool she was for ever letting this man walk out of her life. How she wished she could turn back the hands of time. But she had been awful to Tony. There’s no way she could expect him to just forgive and forget.

“Mikey found the Xbox I put in his room and Brielle is playing with her new doll house, so I doubt we’ll see them for at least an hour.”

Theresa turned her back to Tony as he walked toward her. She quickly wiped the tears that were threatening to run down her face, and expose her for the sap she was becoming. “I can’t believe you bought those kids more toys after all the stuff they received on Christmas.” She tried to laugh it off as Tony came to stand in front of her.

“I want them to have just as much fun here, as they do back at home.”

Theresa wished they didn’t have to deal with split parenting, but that’s where they were and she didn’t know what to do about that. And once Tony heard the news she needed to share, Theresa doubted that he would be jumping for joy, especially when she told him the whole truth.

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something,” Tony said.

Time to put everything on the table. “Yes, I do. Can we go out on your patio?”

He nodded and then lead the way. Once they were seated on the patio, Tony stared at Theresa as if trying to figure something out. “What’s bothering you?” he finally asked. “I heard it in your voice when you called and now, I’m looking at you, and something is off.”

She didn’t want to drag this out any longer. So, she opened her mouth and blurted, “The truth is… I’m pregnant.”

Tony fell back in his seat as if a linebacker had just tackled, and knocked the wind out of him. It took a long while before he was able to look Theresa’s way. When he did the pain that was etched on his face was heartbreaking. “I mean… I knew things were bad between us. But I-I never thought you’d go and get pregnant by another man.”

She reached out to him. “No, Tony. You’ve got this wrong. I guess I should have said that we’re going to have another baby. Because this is your baby too.”

His brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of her words. “But how? You and I haven’t been together like that in…”

“Three months,” She finished for him. “And I’m almost four months along, fifteen weeks to be exact.”

Still confused, he asked, “Did you go to the doctor after I left or something? Why’d it take you so long to know about this baby? Is the baby developing the right way?”

This was the part of her confession that Theresa had been dreading. But she’d come this far, no since in not finishing the job. “You and I had been on and off, then on and finally off again after that incident with the hotel groupie.”

“But I didn’t do anything with that woman. I told you that, and you refused to believe me.”

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry about that. But that still doesn’t change the fact of where we were. So, anyway, when I discovered that I was pregnant, I agonized for months about telling you. But by then, I pretty much figured our relationship was over, so I thought… the best thing to do would be to let you leave without mentioning the baby.”

“So, exactly when were you planning to tell me about this baby? During her high school graduation?”

She could see the smoke coming out of his nostrils, so Theresa sent up a silent prayer to God. Please Lord, give Tony a heart to understand and to forgive. “I was wrong, Tony. That’s why I came here to tell you in person. I wanted to apologize for not trusting you and for destroying our family. If I had it to do all over again-”

“Well you don’t,” Tony told her with anger in his voice. “None of us can turn the clock back. I knew that when I messed up in college. But when I met you, I thought you and I had actually found a place of refuge in each other. I thought we’d be together and put our trust in each other. But you let me down big time, Theresa.”

“But Tony, there was no way that we could be each others refuge. Not when we were still so broken from past hurts and doubts. But since you’ve been gone, I have found a place a refuge. And I want to thank you for telling the kids that story about the true gift of this season because I have finally accepted the gift of Jesus Christ into my life.”

She stood up, “With God’s help, I hope to eventually become a better person than the one who has so terribly let you down.”

“What about my baby? Are you going to be reasonable with the visitation rights?”

“Of course I will. I’m sorry about the way I acted before. But like I said, I’m trying to become a better person. And I want the kids to be in your life just as much as you want to be in their lives.”

“So, you’ll allow Mikey and Brielle to come see me as well?”

She nodded. “I won’t stand in the way. And I’m thankful that you have such a wonderful relationship with all of my children.”

“They’re mine too, Theresa. I’ve been there with them for most of their lives. You can’t take that fact away from me.”

Theresa desperately wished that they could all be a family. But she had messed up and now, Tony was willing to be father to her children, but she doubted that a ring would ever again be offered to her. She had to get out of here before she broke down right in front of him. She had already lost so much, the last thing she wanted to lose was her dignity along with everything else.

“I’d better get going. The kids and I will be flying back home on New Year’s day. So, I’ll see you then.”

“I can drive you back to the Thomas’, that’s not a problem.”

“I’ll call a cab. Don’t worry about me.” Plus she didn’t know how much longer she could be in his presence without falling apart.

“What are going to do until New Year’s Day?”

“Trinity and I are going to hang. I’m going to show her some of the new lyrics I’ve been working on and then I’m going to church with her family on New Year’s Eve.”

~~~~

Christ the King church was full to bursting as Theresa and Trinity walked in. Theresa’s heart was heavy over the demise of her relationship with Tony. But she was trying to put him out of her mind and concentrate on bringing in the new year with a completely new attitude. And a new career if Trinity’s response to the lyrics she wrote was any indication of what was to come.

After she and Trinity went over a few of the songs, Trinity got so excited that she danced around the room and hugged Theresa as she said, “This is it, I have found my ministry. I can’t believe that God used you like this.”

“Me either,” Theresa confessed. “All I did was pray to Him at the lowest point in my life and God has begun to lift my head. Everything isn’t the way it should be, but I’m still thankful.”

“Well, Theresa,” Trinity shook her friend’s hand. “I think you and I are going into the gospel music business.”

Theresa had wanted to call Tony to share the good news, but she didn’t feel as if she had a right to intrude on his time with the kids. But even now as she sat in the second pew from the front of the church, holding onto the Bible she had purchased the night before and listening to this wonderful choir sing Christmas songs that gave praise to the soon coming King, she wished she had invited Tony and the kids. They would have loved this. And she would have loved sharing this experience with them.

Theresa vowed to find a church the family could attend together the minute she got back home. She was having so much fun giving praise to the Lord at this church that she barely wanted the clock to hit midnight to usher in the new year. But before she knew it, it was after ll:45 and the ushers were passing out the streamers and the silver and gold New Year’s party horns.

Panic over took Theresa. She couldn’t bring in the New Year without at least talking to Tony and the kids. Her cell phone was in her purse, but it was way to loud in the sanctuary, and she wouldn’t dream of using her cell phone in the sanctuary in the first place.

Once the horns had been passed out, the people started standing up all around the church. Theresa grabbed her purse and stepped out of the pew. But people were in the aisle, in front of the pulpit, they were even blocking the way to the back door as they were all rejoicing… happily anticipating this new year that God had allowed them to witness. Theresa would be right with them, blowing the horn and twirling the streamers if it wasn’t for the fact that she ached for her family. “Excuse me… excuse me.” Theresa felt as if she had said those words at least fifty times as she made her way to the back door.

As she put her hand on the door, Trinity’s father grabbed the mic and began quieting the group. Theresa wondered what he was about to say, but she couldn’t stay to hear it. She stepped outside and pulled her cell out of her purse. She called Tony’s number but the phone rang once and then went to voicemail. She tried it again, but the same thing happened. Theresa wanted to cry. Why would Tony turn his phone off on New Year’s Eve? Didn’t he want to hear from her?

“What are you doing out here?” Trinity asked as she stepped outside. “My father just called your name. He wanted you to come to the pulpit.”

Theresa shook her head. “If he wasn’t us to sing, I just can’t. Not tonight.”

“Don’t you dare start crying. I want you to put a smile on your face and come back inside with me.”

“But Trinity, I really messed up. Tony was my true love, I knew that and I still let him walk away. And now he’s so disgusted with me that he won’t even answer his phone to wish me a happy New Year.” Theresa threw her phone back in her purse. “Can you please, just take me back to the house?”

“Yes, I can,” Trinity told her. “But we need to go back through the sanctuary to get to my car. I don’t like walk through the grass because it will just mess up my shoes.”

“I’ll meet you around there. I don’t care if my shoes get messed up.”

“No.” Trinity forced the issue. “I’m not taking you back to the house if you can’t at least walk through the sanctuary and wave goodbye to my parents.”

Theresa rolled her eyes, but she put a hand on the doorknob to open it, while complaining, “I don’t know what the big deal is. I’ll see your parents when they get back to the house.”

Trinity glanced at her watch. “Will you hurry up. It’s five minutes ’til midnight.”

“I’m sorry that I’m being a pain. I’m just not good company right now,” Theresa explained.

“And I don’t know why you’re so upset. You prayed and asked God to turn things around for you, and He’s been doing that, right?”

Theresa nodded. Tony might have left her team, but God was with her, Theresa knew that for a fact.

“Then trust Him to complete what he started.” Trinity grabbed Theresa’s hand as they re-entered the church and escorted her towards the front. The people started clapping and blowing their party horns and a knot began to form in Theresa’s stomach that had nothing to do with her pregnancy. “I can’t do this,” Theresa whispered to Trinity.

“You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you,” Trinity shot back.

They had reached the front of the church by the time Theresa finally looked up. Tony was standing in the pulpit, holding TJ with Mikey and Brielle standing next to him. “What’s going on?” Theresa asked Trinity.

“Just get up there and find out,” Trinity told her as she took TJ out of Tony’s hand and then sat down to watch the show.

Theresa rushed up the three small steps that elevated the pulpit. She hugged Mikey and Brielle. “I missed you guys. I just went outside to call.” Then she turned to Tony. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I couldn’t be without you. Not on New Year’s Eve,” he told her. Then they hugged and kissed. But Tony knew he had to be quick… needed to get this in before midnight. So, he got down on one knee and pulled a black velvet box out of his jacket. “Baby, we have endured the good and the bad. But through it all, I have never wanted to be anywhere else but with you and our family. If you’ll have me. I would…”

“Yes, yes!” Theresa screamed and held out her finger so he could put a ring on it.

The crowd started chanting, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!”

“Let’s start fresh, baby. A new year and a new beginning for all of us. How about it?” Tony’s eyes shone with love.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And as Tony wrapped her in his loving arms, she looked towards heaven, careful not to forget the one who made this magical moment possible. And just like many others who’d received a gift from God, Theresa said, “Thank You!”

 

The beginning…

 

Coming in December 2016… The Promise of Christmas

 

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Books in the Spirit of Christmas series

 

The Christmas Wish (Book 1)

 

The Gift (Book 2)

 

The Promise of Christmas (Book 3) (rel. Dec. 2016)

 

 

 

Excerpt of

(Book 1 of The Spirit of Christmas Series)

 

The Christmas Wish

 

 

 

 

Prologue

“And the Grammy for the Best R & B Performance by a Group goes to…” The announcer took a moment to let the suspense build as she opened the envelope. As a smile crept across her face she shouted, “The Four Ts for their wonderful song, “Peace of My Heart.””

The crowd exploded in thunderous applause for the group as Trinity, Tara, Theresa and Tina strutted down the aisle to collect their award. The girls were all smiles, Tina was even shedding tears. They had been in the music business for ten years, had released five albums with numerous singles, but this was the first time they had won a Grammy.

Trinity Thomas thought for sure they would have won for best song last year, because everyone loved the first single from their latest album. But Tina had gotten herself arrested a month before the Grammys for burning down her boyfriend’s house and one of Theresa’s three baby daddy’s was all over the news for a gun charge. It didn’t help matters that baby daddy number three was a famous rap superstar who was always in some kind of beef with the police. As his name was dragged through the mud, so, too was Theresa’s and just because the media had nothing better to do, they also tried to take the Four Ts down by exposing the fact that Tara had just gotten out of rehab for her cocaine addiction and they all speculated that Trinity had a drinking problem.

Trinity tried to block out all the bad press that swirled around them and just concentrate on the music. The music had always been her salvation. So, she’d kept her head down and went back into the studio. By the time they finished their latest single, “Peace of My Heart,” they all knew that it would be a hit.

Trinity had wrote the song herself. It had been a reflection of a time in her life when things were a lot simpler and when she believed that love could pull at the heart strings and never let go. They stepped onto the stage and one by one each member of the group gave thanks to God and their family, both of whom none of them had relationships with.

When it was Trinity’s turn to recite the prepared speech the PR coordinator asked her to memorize, she grabbed the mike, stepped a little closer to the podium. Or at least, she tried to step closer to the podium. The heel of her pumps got tangled in the hem of her floor length dress and she stumbled across the stage.

Tina grabbed Trinity’s arm, keeping her from falling to the floor. Trinity lifted the microphone and said, “Whoa, I almost took a tumble.” She patted Tina on the arm as if she were her pet. “Thanks, Tina, you always come through for me. Well, except when you’re out burning down houses.”

A loud gasp was heard throughout the audience. Trinity turned to the crowd with an oops expression on her face. “What did I say?” She put a finger to her lips as she shhh’d the audience. “Don’t tell the media.” She lifted the Grammy in her hand. “We might lose this.”

Tara took the microphone out of Trinity’s hand and waved to the crowd. “Thank you all very much.” She put the microphone down on the podium and then proceeded to escort Trinity off the stage.

As they reached the stairs Trinity could be heard asking, “What did I do? Why’d you take the microphone before I gave my speech?”

Before Tara could answer, Trinity put her hands over her mouth as she tried to run down the three steps. “I’m going to be sick,” she blurted out as her hand fell away from her mouth and vomit splattered all over the stairs.